#he probably has a lot of internalized homophobia to unpack and would be really angry and scared about his feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

derelictdumbass · 2 years

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Thinking about how the Seeds relationships with Dean could be taken as an act of defiance against how they were raised and a way for them to break out of that restraint and accept the trauma they went through and move forward from it.

#nadine is typing...#Far Cry Tag #like specifically Joseph Jacob and John honestly #they all grew up in a religious home where no doubt being anything but cis and straight would be looked down upon #even though I strongly beleive Joseph grows up loving everyone and doesn't care or discriminate against those things #there's no doubt lingering religious trauma there surrounding it and he still might feel a small bit of shame at the beginning #but then him being able to accept his feelings would be a way for him to accept he's not the boy he was and he's allowed to change #and he'd come to see it like a reawakening for himself and that his love is a beautiful thing #With John it'd be like such a heavy weight lifts off of him I think #like he can drop the perfect golden boy act altogether and be himself. the version of him he was never allowed to truly be #and maybe through loving Dean he can finally start to love himself and break away from the titles other people gave him #And Jacob is probably the biggest impact bc this man got sent to the army and you know how that space is towards queer people #he probably has a lot of internalized homophobia to unpack and would be really angry and scared about his feelings #and his coming to terms with his feelings would be a lot messier and take a lot longer #it'd be a lot of giving in a little and withdrawing a lot. like two steps forward and three steps back kinda thing #but then being able to accept it gives him time to think about his entire world view and beleifs #it allows him time to realise he's not the man his father made him to be or the army made him to be. he can just be #idk I've felt really chatty today sorry lol #got a lot of words in my head need to get them out

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