#he'd be a softboy don't even deny it

[total-drama-brainrot]

maybe for cody, a more casual outfit? to this day i can’t comprehend wtf is up with his shirt(s)

softboy cody 😌

[feuilletonette]

Bridgerton S3, they could never make me hate you.

I had been consuming a lot of contents albeit very much revolves around these two darlings, Penelope and Colin. I just couldn't get enough. I was simply never the same after Polin. Never.

It had been pressing weeks when I felt the shed of my old skin upon the compounding insinuations of loss affection toward men of haunting past. In which with all their might would do everything to sabotage the relationship, to run screaming and crying and throwing up to absolutely defy these insurmountable feelings, one could label within the word, love. Until they are utterly consumed by these thoughts and overwhelming need to express such affections where the only way to ever cope results to angry, passionate confessions of love.

I am wild to witness the stark difference of how we see Colin did none of those things because in my conclusion, he wasn't as emotionally constipated and the first three leads and it is such a refreshing medium to see without ever actually stripping him flat. That is what I want: a tender, loving, down bad softboy declaring that if his purpose was to love a woman as great as me, then he shall be a very fulfilled man, indeed.

The argument that he didn't say the 'I love you' enough debate was, in surface, quite understandable but if you start to analyse closely, after the proposal, almost every interactions he's had revolved around finding an opportunity to express his love and admiration to/for Penelope, especially in his conversation with his siblings.

He didn't need to scream his confession, he'd been attuned and embracing it (enthusiastically so) once realised, that is why he was never repulsed of having to speak of it the first place! In fact, he even actively communicates it in the most beautiful way possible.

He sought advice from Violet, followed Anthony straight away when he told him that he should tell her he loves her. Listen to Kate's marital advice. He's open, he's receiving help, he's trying to process his hurt and overcoming his triggers. He's learning to do better but it wasn't perfect. He made mistakes along the way but eventually led him to the path of acceptance.

He wanted to love her better, despite of and in spite of. Colin had always been introspective so when he had discovered the root of his actions, he gathered up the courage to be vulnerable and admit it to Penelope. That he was feeling envious because he never truly felt good enough. But this was recieve to be affirmed of his inherent worth. The thing I love about this couple is that they felt so human and that propelled them to move past such damaging beliefs of themselves to do better.

Don't even get me started with Penelope, I could make dissertations of how well she was written for all anyone could care. Miss girl is ambitious, I love how her mental glow-up was able to comply how well her physical glow-up was executed also. In the end, she needn't to choose between herself and the man she loves.

She can be both independent and cherished by a man, a man who constantly worked on himself because she mattered more than his ego. She may have wavered after various discouragement and she had tried, so so hard to give up her success but she couldn't. Whistledown is something she wouldn't compromise as it would mean betraying a part of herself. So I was glad that upon fighting for it, the people around her soon realised that this is something they could not deny and something they should fight with her not off of her. I'm glad that the show was able to depict that Penelope could have both. Being a succesful, career-driven woman should not cost you your love, or at least the right one. And it's a powerful message to have.

I also love this passage of weilding her power into more productive causes such as giving voice to the voicless. I hope we see more of it for the upcoming season.

Though, of course it's not perfect, with pacing issues and subplots with purpose I had hard time figuring. But if there's one thing I couldn't stress enough, season 3 has so much depth and I was very glad to dive upon the narrowest trenches of it.

It was so beautifully done and that is why I also stand that Polin have the strongest foundation so far as they navigate their biggest block and be the best versions of themselves together, and occasionally, with the help of one another.

P.S I am only talking about the show Polin, I hated the book, but I suppose this would be for another post.

[theropoda]

usually when i post something here related to yakuza its with the intention of sharing it with others and wanting to know what other ppl think of it but this time i simply just want to have a record of my thoughts written down that i can see later lol

anyways. babaposting (spoilers for yakuza 5)

gonna be honest and say that to people who are Normal this is going to seem a lot like me rambling about something that is obvious; but i guess this is a post made out of spite in response to how i sometimes see people boil down baba's character into softboy twink bottom which bothers me way, WAY more than it should. admittedly, he is not as developed as the main 5 characters of the game and his role is more of a side character? but i still think there's more to him to than that, regardless.

i dont think baba is as big as a softboy twink as some people percieve him as. imo he's more the kind of guy who's actually more cold blooded and ruthless than you'd think, who hides this under a timid and meek demeanor. while it's never said outright, (or at least i dont remember if its said so, oops) im pretty sure he is an assassin-- or at least, experienced enough with taking people out from afar that the kuroha family would trust him with such an important target like haruka. my point is, this dude literally kills ppl. so it bothers me a lot when people straight up infantilize him :/

he does definitely have his weaknesses though, i dont wanna deny the fact that when it comes to some things he is Weak but ill get to that a little later.

during the prison segment of saejima's part in yakuza 5, other characters (including saejima) describe baba as shy, friendly and timid and he definitely lives up to those descriptions in his behavior too. he really does seem like a little ooh-woo boy. oshima even says baba cried to him once:

so he sure gives off the appearance of someone who is quite innocent and emotional. but, fast forward to the Twist, and baba says this irt everything he has said about himself in abashiri:

yeah. of course this immediately tells us his backstory is a lie but this dialogue also makes me think that the timid behavior he displayed in his time in abashiri is a part of this lie. baba appearing as friendly and harmless not only gets him closer to saejima but also makes him less likely to be suspected of being involved in a big conspiracy or plot. he is purposely acting all 🥺👉👈, and it bothers me when people see this as a genuine expression of who he is. i, honestly, don't think it is.

i am not denying the fact that he has a heart though. because what IS real, however, is of course the feelings he has developed for saejima. the conflict between his orders and his heart is literally a vital point of both his character and the bigger story, so of course he has a heart. and a weak one: he's so emotionally distraught that he tries to kill himself not once but twice! once because he'd rather die than kill saejima and again because he's so guilty of being complicit in kurosawa's plan to fuck over the tojo clan, that he'd rather die than bear to confront saejima after all he's done. he honestly, in my eyes is a bit of a coward for trying to run away from these problems via suicide but maybe i'm being too harsh because what the fuck would i do in that situation? lol

but i guess what im trying to do here is explain why it bothers me when people go ahh baba sweet baby boy bc it feels like such a mischaracterization. he is certainly emotionally....frail/weak but not as much of a baby as some people make him out to be. he's a grown man who's literally an assassin by trade. he breaks down and cries in the moments he does cause i think anyone else would too.

his vulnerable moments are what i really love about him, it's just that sometimes people go overboard on woobifying him and make that his entire character. so i just like to keep a balanced mix of "grown ass man who is much more capable of things like murder than you thought" AND "genuinely heartbroken and panicked over the clashing of the orders he's given and the feelings he has developed". we can have both, folks! the same way light can't shine without dark, baba's vulnerability cannot be interesting without his more colder more cunning side.

baba is at his most interesting when he shows vulnerability despite his orders and job demanding otherwise.

i also think hes a little whore, he could have kept his jacket on during his reveal to saejima but he takes it off, which accomplishes literally nothing. in fact this would just impact him negatively by making him cold as all hell. so there is only one reason why he would reveal 2 the world his tiny waist and its cause hes a slut