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#he'd taken that approach a lot in the past on psychologist's orders so i figured i wouldn't rob him of that progress
potato-elf ยท 1 year
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personal posting in the tags again beware
#venting#venting about my love life in the tags again sorry fellas#so#my ex contacted me again#asked if he could send me a letter he wrote to process the relationship we had#he'd taken that approach a lot in the past on psychologist's orders so i figured i wouldn't rob him of that progress#motherfucker sent me a 5 page essay on everything that went wrong during the relationship#as well as stating that breaking up with me was one of the biggest mistakes he's ever made#and whether there was a chance we could reconcile#but like#I care about him a lot#and I too miss the good parts of the relationship that he mentioned#but I don't think getting back together and giving it another shot after being broken up for 3 months is gonna solve our issues#we've both been feeling better since the break-up (he said so himself)#but I'm scared we'd just fall into the same patterns that made us both miserable if we tried again#so now I have to work through a whole bunch of stuff emotionally again#as well as figure out how to tell him that no I don't think we should try again#and it's making me feel like absolute shit#I was also tentatively starting to date again#and I'm not quite convinced the guy I went on a date with saw it going anywhere#but whether that's true or not I feel like I got set back in the way I'd processed the break-up again#and while I don't think getting back with my ex is a good idea I also don't feel like I'm ready to date again now#honestly#if my ex asked me this either 2 months ago or a year from now I would've seriously considered it#because maybe we would've had the time to actually work on the deeper issues that made our dynamic toxic#but it's been 3 months and from his letter it doesn't seem like he has any idea how to prevent our issues in the future either#so I don't trust us not to fall into the same old habits again#though it hurts a lot to have to make that decision right now because I wish the best for him#but we just weren't the best for eachother#and I keep on questioning whether I'm not making a terrible mistake right now
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