#he'll call them bad people and condemn them for how they are yet forgive their most heinous crimes

[solradguy]

curious if you could elaborate on, like, specific cases(?) or just the general phenomena of gg community ignoring character flaws since i feel like i probably agree n wanna hear someone else's thoughts on it

Almost every single Guilty Gear character has done something that would get them ostracized in other fandoms, I think. But what I see sorta often in GG's community is that sometimes people will go to great lengths to defend one character and then talk about how bad another character is for the things they've done. Zato, for example, did horrible things to Millia and her hating him/wanting him dead is entirely justifiable. But Zato gets condemned for that while Happy Chaos, who brainwashed numerous people to fight and die for him just because he thought it was funny (among other things he did before and after that), rarely gets criticized, presumably because his personality is sillier and he's got a more broadly appealing design.

I get stuff like this happens in pretty much every fandom that's ever existed ever, but it's really funny seeing it in a game called Guilty Gear, where every character has done horrible things that haunts them haha. I went with the Zato and Chaos comparison because at least in some other characters' cases, the character does have some guilt over their actions or has a redemption arc of some kind (Bedman and Ky are good examples of that), but neither Zato or Chaos seem to have much remorse over how they've treated other people yet Zato is frequently hated while Chaos is adored.

Going back to Ky for a sec since he might seem like an odd choice to include there: Ky was a child soldier that wanted to utterly annihilate a sentient species capable of intelligent communication with evidence of a unique culture, and he killed them mercilessly when he could. But he eventually realized what he was doing was awful and went back on everything he was raised to believe to try to make up for what he did. And it haunts him. It wasn't like he woke up one day and just decided to stop killing Gears because he got bored of it; it's a major part of his character that the weight of what he had done was crushing him and he'll never fully forgive himself (or ask for total forgiveness) for it.

Bedman doesn't get as much of a chance before he dies to try to make up for what he had done, but it's still there a little bit right at the end. He's also young too and not having a fully developed prefrontal cortex is a pain in the ass. Sympathy to all the people younger than 25 out there.

Even Sol, the other main box art guy, has a whole list of awful shit he's done. He also wanted to destroy the same creatures that had individual thoughts and desires as Ky did and in Sol's case it might even be worse because he was partially responsible for their creation in the first place, and he was ruthless during his Holy Order arc when he fought against Gears the most. Ignoring Aria's wishes to be allowed to die peacefully from her illness and Sol wanting to sacrifice the entire world to save Jack-O' at the end of Strive are both selfish and awful in their own ways too. Sol is also THEE guilty Gear though. We know that's all weighing on him something fierce.

But this is what makes Guilty Gear so GOOD. It's not black and white. The good guys are deeply flawed and the bad guys can be sympathetic. This series has an insane amount of nuance that all too often gets boiled down to who's redeemable and who isn't and nearly everyone's a little bit of a bastard in their own unique ways.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I think if someone is a fan of a character that's taken/tried to take away the autonomy of another character, emotionally manipulated someone via dog murder, or wanted to exterminate an entire species that was mostly fighting back because of how humanity had treated them in the first place, that they should keep that in mind when harshly criticizing other characters' actions.

[laurelleghuleh]

𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐅 | 𝐂𝐇. 𝟏𝟕 "𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦"

𝐚/𝐧:

Read the masterlist first.

The first flashback is narrated in third-person.

Everything here is (and will always be) totally consensual: Daphne’s (/your) character is strong enough to stop Levi or at least to oppose him whenever she wants (as already shown in the previous chapters)… But as you’ll see, she doesn’t want him to stop. The scene in question shouldn’t trigger any of you. Breathplay is involved but I hope you’ll perceive it just as steamy as it’s to me. If not, let me know.

More notes at the end.

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬: “Make His Pockets Hurt” - jk... “Woman” by Harry Styles, “Tear You Apart” by She Wants Revenge, “She’s My Collar” by Gorillaz and Kali Uchis.

𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

“Master, that girl... Daphne... She accepted,” said the hooded man, scratching the scar on his chin trying in vain to ease his agitation. A hint of discomfort painted his voice: every time in the presence of that thug he couldn’t help but think if each of his previous choices had not only led him further down, lower, where that maggot reigned.

The Master took a long, noisy sip from his stein, slammed it on the table, and then let out a coarse, belly laugh.

“I knew it. I KNEW IT! That little girl... That little girl really thought she could escape me.”

The hooded man stood motionless, almost paralyzed, in front of the Master. He had just condemned a poor girl he didn’t even know to certain death. He thought he reached his lowest point in life. All around him, the Master’s minions in the room began to laugh and mock the girl in unison, only to impress their boss.

With another smash of his tankard, the Master restored the silence in the room.

“Shut your stupid mouths, you jerks. Who said you could talk about her, huh?”

They obeyed.

“Well, what can I say, Sergeant?” He told the hooded man, “You soldiers are really good at following orders. You always get your job done. Not like these idiots I have to deal with every damn day... Well, here’s your reward, as agreed.”

At that signal, a door on the right opened and a moment later, a girl with long crimson hair, icy eyes, and an equally glacial attitude entered the room. Stoic, calm, and collected in the grip of the two men who were dragging her inside, perhaps now resigned, the girl appeared in all her beauty in front of her now former owner.

The Master, barely reaching her shoulder in height, approached her and roughly stroked her face. “Here is your reward for putting that big mouth of yours to good use for once, Tabitha. You are free now. Happy?”

From above, the girl looked down at him with disgust, as she had always done, but at least now for the last time. She was no longer his.

“Forgive me for the inconvenience, Master, but the Ripper is here.” said one of his lackeys breaking into the room at that point.

Before the Master could say or do anything, another man showed up in the room. His unmistakable beige trench coat, his imperious height, his marked and grim face: Kenny the Ripper had arrived.

“Ah, Kenny! My man!” The Master greeted him vigorously.

“Wo, slow down, gramps. My man my ass. I'm just here on business. Try not to waste any of my precious time and hurry up already.”

𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

“Here it comes!” I shouted at Levi, throwing him an apple.

He caught it on the fly and looked back at me dourly.

“Kindly offered by the kitchen of the barracks. And by kindly offered I mean kindly stolen.” I added with a chuckle.

“From the barracks? Tch , I’d rather drink the water from the drain. Or horse piss. Or shit-” Levi started to grumble, as he swirled the apple in his fingers with a disgusted air.

“Okay, okay. Stop. I got the gist. Geez…” I interrupted him with a snort. “Give it to me…” I said then, taking the apple back. “Are you sure you don’t even want half of it? You haven’t touched anything since yesterday...”

No answer.

“Levi, it’s going to be a very loooong day. You need it.” I insisted.

“Whatever…” Levi finally said, averting his eyes.

So I removed the stem, placed the base of my thumbs on top of the apple, wrapped it with both hands, and began to tighten it with strength and precision.

“What are you doing? You wanna break it with your bare hands?” the Captain commented harshly.

“Even the hardest things can be broken,” I began to say and looked up at him, “If you just know where to apply the right pressure, Levi  ” and with a thunderous crack the apple split in between my hands. His eyes slightly widened in amazement, as did his lips that parted in a small “Not bad”.

“All yours,” I told him, handing him his half.

After leaving the barracks, we poured into a crowded street adjacent to the building. Despite the time, there were already a lot of people around. Voices, heavy rumbling footsteps on the cobblestones, shouts, the deafening toll of hooves on the pavement, the hustle and bustle of the carriages: the district seemed to have woken up long before us.

After a few minutes spent in silence, I took the first bite, asking Levi, “So? Where are we going?”

“In an hour or so, a carriage will take us to a nearby tunnel for the Underground. But first, we have to get some things,” he informed me.

“Like what?” I mumbled with my mouth full.

“I know a place where we can get some bladed weapons, ammo for my gun-”

“Uh, can I get one too?” I asked him enthusiastically, clinging to his jacket.

“Forget it,” he said, taking a bite of his apple and not even deigning to look at me.

“Oh cooome on!”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Levi declared head-on, “Let’s try to avoid any unnecessary fights or else. No firearms, no ogm. Just a regular patrol, we’ll take a look around, and that’s it. My gun is just for caution. One is more than enough.”

“Roger, Captain. Anything else?” I asked him, taking another loud bite.

“Wigs, maybe a hat or a scarf, I don't know, something to make us less recognizable,” then he glanced at me over his shoulder, quickly scanning my figure, “And some clothes for you. I don't know how safe it is to wander around in the Scouts’ uniform…”

“Right... Well, once back I’m gonna need a new uniform for sure,” I commented, tapping my stomach with my fingers. “I think I've put on a few pounds, you know?”

The food of the Survey Corps could not be defined as top-tier, nor substantial, however, it was certainly enough to feed a soldier; enough to fix a body like mine which hadn't seen a decent meal in months, if not years. In the Underground, I had always eaten for survival, never for pleasure. The first time I managed to buy a meal worthy of being called such, I found myself a few minutes later throwing it all up in a toilet. A meal that tasted of queasy guilt, a sin that I should never have to do again. After that, I decided to only ever ingest what was strictly necessary.

At that point, Levi halted in the middle of the road and turned towards me, forcing me to unconsciously do the same. Still lost in those old memories, I didn't realize that a hand was approaching my face. With a delicate gesture of his fingers, Levi took something away from my lips, probably an imperceptible crumb. Then he let his hand linger a little longer around my chin as if to give me a closer look.

“Well. It’s a good sign… ” he pointed out, trying to make it sound like a mere and flat comment. Yet, the expression he had painted on his face betrayed him. He looked so relieved. “It means you're getting healthier,” he added at the end.

I kept staring at him in silence, still, with one hand in midair and the other one in my pocket, my mouth open and my mind completely empty. Seeing me totally panicking, Levi bent down and reached with his mouth the last piece of apple that was left in my hand. Still close to my palm, chewing in silence, he motioned me with his head to resume walking.

After a solid minute, I blinked and came back to my senses, then I quickly joined him. As if nothing had happened, Levi had already taken his quick pace and usual severe posture back.

We walked for what felt like several minutes until we finally found ourselves in front of a small shop. Some dark curtains obscured what was behind them, but a majestic and bizarre sign on the outside spoke clearly: it was the bazaar the Captain had mentioned to me shortly before.

“Here’s the deal. The shop is run by a wrinkled piece of shit, a police lackey. He'll definitely give us a discount just because of Erwin. We go in, we buy what we need, and we get the hell out of here as soon as possible. The less time we waste, the better. All clear?”

“Crystal clear. There is no need to ask every time, you know that right? I can hear you perfectly.” I replied with a hint of malice.

“You never know with you,” he said, raising one of his eyebrows. “Let's go. I’ll do the talking. Go and see if you can find something useful in the meantime. And don’t steal anything else or I'll cut off those hands of yours. I’m not kidding, Daphne.”

“I’ll see what I can do about that stealing thing… Can’t promise anything...”

To that answer, Levi shook his head as an imperceptible smile curled his lips. Without further ado, he opened the door and made his way into the store where we were greeted by the shrill doorbell, a stocky small man with an eccentric air, and a young girl who seemed to want to be everywhere but there.

Levi didn’t miss one second and immediately approached the owner, while I quickly set out to find what we needed. The bazaar was as extravagant as his proprietor. It really seemed like we had just entered another dimension. Chandeliers with all different and bizarre shapes, objects of all kinds, and colorful fabrics were hanging down from the ceiling. The shelves were overflowing with any devilry, from ordinary household utensils to unique pieces of furniture. The whole rear area was instead dedicated to clothing and from a distance, you could already recognize some rather extravagant pieces with feathers and sequins. But before I could get started, a feeble voice caught my attention.

“Welcome, I’m Lisa. Can I help with anything?” said the girl I had seen just before.

Her voice sounded as faint and meek as her appearance. A small stature, very light skin, almost porcelain, hay-colored hair arranged in two long braids, an old pair of glasses clumsily resting on a slightly arched nose: she looked like one of those old dolls. Everything about her seemed so familiar, like a lost memory, as if I already knew her... In fact, I couldn’t help but notice how she resembled a friendly face, a sister I had not seen in a very long time: Eve . That thought struck me so strongly that all of a sudden I remembered how close I was to finally return to the Underground. And that ultimately pushed me to hurry up and do my part. I had no time to waste.

“Hi Lisa, I’m Daphne. Yes, actually I need a lot of stuff, but I don't even know where to start…” I said, giggling. The bazaar was a real mess.

Lisa was more than happy to help me with my research. At my every request, from bladed weapons to wigs, the girl's face seemed to get more and more confused. She must have asked herself from time to time what the hell were we doing there.

~

“Oi. Found anything?” I heard Levi's voice coming from behind my shoulders after a while.

“Yes, look!” I turned around wearing a lilac wig I had just found. Levi's face fell into an annoyed expression.

“You really couldn't find a color more ridiculous than this,” he commented with his arms folded.

“Oh come on! That's not true!” I replied with a shrill voice.

I have to admit that there was something about shopping that made me unexpectedly happy, almost childish. I was literally acting just like a little girl. I had never felt like that before, not even when I thought so. I wasn't at the market with Nina or Saejin, I didn't have to go back to the brothel within thirty minutes, nobody was breathing down my neck. That was the closest thing to freedom I had probably ever experienced.

“Have you already forgotten that we’re, like, trying to keep a low profile?” he argued as I turned to the mirror again to take another look at myself.

“Yeah, I know, buzzkill... But look how pretty it is!”

Levi didn’t deign to answer and continued to silently observe my reflection. His eyes slowly traveled from one corner of the mirror to the other.

“You know, Levi, every now and then you should try to live a little…” I teased him, with my hands on my hips. He just gave me the stink eye in response.

“Come on, just try one!” I encouraged him.

“Look, I'd rather tear my hair out with my bare hands-”

“Oh my God, please don't start now…” I interrupted him as I rummaged through the pile of wigs in front of me. Without thinking too much, I randomly took one and put it on his head. Levi had resisted me quite a bit, stepping back and shaking his head, but in the end, I got the better of him. The result, however, left me breathless.

Levi must have commented once again on the color of that wig, but at that sight, I could not utter a word. Same cut, same length, but this time the captain's hair was light, of an intense ash blonde. I didn't think Levi could look more attractive than that, and yet...

It took me some time to recover. Then I cleared my throat and said, just to interrupt the flow of his criticism, “Now we just need a couple of fake names”

I thought about it for a while, still looking at myself in the mirror. I love this color, Levi doesn’t know what he’s talking about… Maybe I should call myself... Lilian? Lily? Or…

“Lilith. From now on, you shall call me Lilith,” I said satisfied.

Levi’s eyebrows rippled.

“And you, Mr. Party-Pooper, you could be my Adam.”

“Maybe I missed something, but wasn't it Eve? Am I wrong?” The captain asked me, meeting my gaze in the mirror.

So I turned around and started to explain to him: “Chadia told us that before Eve there was Lilith, the first woman, the true, first wife of Adam, created with him, his equal. And unfortunately, also the first creature to be banished from Eden. And do you know why?”

“No, enlighten me,” he asked, intrigued.

“Because she wanted to be exactly like him, treated as an equal. But this was not granted to her, so she rebelled.”

Levi clicked his tongue. He seemed to have grasped the message out of metaphor.

“Interesting, but... I'm torn. I don't know if this is just a big fat lie to sell me these fucking ridiculous wigs or if instead... This is one of your millions of reasons.”

“My millions of reasons?”

“The millions of reasons why-” and there I remembered.

“Levi, please, give me a break.” I stopped him, “If anything, you're the ridiculous one, not these wigs,” I said as I turned back to the mirror.

“And for the record…” I tried to change the subject, “Maybe you really missed something. In the Underground several people dye their hair with some strange concoction or even bleach it just for fun, or boredom. It's actually quite trendy. My friend Finn did it to look like a tough guy. He used to change his hair color every other week... Sooner or later, he's going to be bald... I wonder if that punk is still alive…”

“Finn, ah? You never told me about this Finn ,” the Captain said.

“Oh Levi, there are so many things you still don't know about me…” And then I walked away, towards a wall full of clothes. After a while, Levi joined me.

“So... This Finn ... Is he one of your reasons?”

“Levi, I swear you’re giving me a headache. Stop it already.” I replied in a grumpy tone.

“I'm just curious,” he defended himself.

“I think it’s pronounced extremely childish , not curious.”

Levi stayed silent. As I kept scanning the clothes in front of me, I said: “No, he's not. He’s just a dear, old friend of mine who taught me how to survive in the Underground. And a few good tricks... Like this one.”

On top of a shelf, I noticed a checkered flat cap, took it, and then searched for a razor blade in my pocket. A razor blade that I was planning to steal from the store, but Levi didn’t need to know that part too. Once I found it, I hid it in the fold of the visor and then simply put the hat on his head. This time the Captain did not oppose, perhaps now immersed in that role play we were tacitly doing.

“Finn thinks it’s pretty cool to hide razors and knives in your clothes. They can save your life when you least expect it.”

Levi didn't comment and there was silence again. I began to get nervous.

“Really. Finn is just one of my mates. Nothing more.” I told him, fixing his cap. “What is it? You do not believe me?” I added, “Or worse... Captain, are you jealous ?”

“Please. You can barely handle me, let alone another man…” And so he started picking up random clothes for me to try on.

Chuckling, I started doing the same.

“A skirt?” He asked me at one point, “It might get in your way…”

“I was wearing a skirt even that night... The first night we met. A piece of cloth won’t certainly slow me down, Captain. And I think I will look more harmless dressed like this…”

“If you say so…” Levi commented.

Among the various clothes, I noticed a breathtaking corset with a precious ribbon on the back and a damask fabric that looked way too expensive for us. It reminded me of some refined dresses that only Nina was able to find - well, to steal, actually - at the market. I was so tempted to try it, a childish temptation, but then I stopped right there. We didn’t have time for that.

“Oi. Don’t you wanna try it?” Levi asked, pointing at the corset.

“It’s… Pricey…” I replied under my breath, trying to leave.

Without a second’s delay, Levi grabbed it and threw it at me, telling me, almost like an order: “The dressing room is right there. Get a move on.”

~

“What the hell’s taking you so long to get ready? We don’t have all day”

I snorted, then tried to say: “Yes... It's just... I can't close the corset,”

“Let me see…” I heard him say and a second later I saw him peeking out of the curtain.

“What the hell are you doing?? Get out now!”

Levi looked me straight in the eye, his face completely blank. “I’m not seeing anything that I haven’t seen already...” Then he glanced at the back of the bodice and said: “You skipped two holes. Fuck, you’re a hopeless case.”

The Captain had already begun to untie the corset when I protested, clumsily trying to reach his hands on the back.

“Stop,” he said, blocking me, but undaunted, I kept fidgeting.

“I said stop .” At that point I felt something cold around my wrists, like a silk ribbon, then a firm squeeze and without even realizing it, I found myself with my hands tied.

Through the mirror, I gave the Captain a dirty look, but he didn't seem to get the message.

“Levi. Untie me. Now .”

He smugly looked back at me. “And why on earth?” He leaned in and from above my shoulder he added, “You look so pretty like this…”

In response, I just rolled my eyes. “You're not funny, come on-”

“In fact, you know what? I just had an idea…” he interrupted me. “Since this thing is going to take a while, why don't we play a game?” he started to say, pulling the first threads away up to the point where I must have messed them up. “I'll ask you some questions-”

“What kind of questions?”

“Oh, don't be so naive. You already know what I’m going to ask you.”

“Levi-” I tried to interrupt him.

But he continued, saying, “If your answer satisfies me, I will gradually close the bodice. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise what?” I asked with a hint of annoyance.

“We’ll just stay here all day, I guess,” he replied, continuing to untie the corset.

“Rather than a game, I think this is called interrogation … You even tie me up?! Are you completely out of your mind, Levi?”

The Captain sneered almost imperceptibly. “Let’s say it’s a matter of opinion…” Then he got closer again and whispered, mocking me, “Oh, why don’t you try and live a little , Daphne?”

At that point, the corset was barely holding up around my torso. Levi had already loosened the last intersection and was ready to proceed.

“Well? Shall we start?” he asked me, adjusting and aligning the fabric with precise but light strokes.

“I don't think I have other options…” I said in a hushed voice.

“Let's make it even more fun. You can only answer yes or no . Disobey and I'll start over.”

“At this point, do the fuck you want… Since we’re already here…”

At my words, Levi laughed, nodded his head, lowered it in the direction of my wrists, and gently passed two fingers between my skin and the tape, as if to check that it wasn't too tight. From behind my back, almost hiding from me, he whispered the only rule of that dangerous game from which I couldn’t bring myself to escape:

“Remember, this is just for fun... If you don’t feel like it anymore, know that you are perfectly capable of freeing yourself from this silly knot. Even a suckling could make it out of it... Say the word and I’ll stop.”

I swallowed soundly, nodding at him. In a matter of seconds, the air seemed to have already changed.

“You know, that morning I asked myself a lot of questions... I even thought that you’d come out of the bathroom at any moment. Or from under the bed, out of the wardrobe…”

I got sick to my stomach.

“But you never came back,”

“Levi-” I almost interrupted him.

“What is it? Did you just want a one-night stand?”

“Levi, are you for real?? How- Who do you take me for-” I tried to say, when with a decisive stroke Levi pulled the first thread, making me lose my balance and forcing me to take an unstable step back. Bumping against his chest, I heard him scold me: “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. Just yes or no , miss.”

“No,” I coldly replied, reaching his gaze in the mirror.

“Then, do you regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“Didn’t they teach you that you can’t answer a question with another question?” he commented, passing the ribbon through the next holes.

“Then why don’t you try to formulate a bit better your fucking questions next time?” I babbled.

He didn’t mind my insolence and asked again, “Did you regret that night?”

“I’ve already told you that-” Only yes or no , I thought. “No.”

Another intersection was done on the back.

“And about leaving without a word?”

I didn't answer, but Levi continued to adjust the stripe in the subsequent holes. Probably my silence was already enough as an answer. The corset was getting tighter and tighter and I was starting to feel that hard velvet cage compressing me little by little.

“Moving on. Do you think I would have done the same thing in your place?”

Again, I stayed silent.

“I'll answer for you. No,” he said with determination, clutching another cross. The stroke was so precise, central, and energetic, it made me wince. A sharp and clear moan slipped from my mouth. I bit my lip and looked down at my feet in shame. Levi immediately caught that reaction.

“You don’t regret it. You’d do it again . Or at least that’s what you told me that day in my office, right? So what... Or maybe who? Who are you afraid of? Of Commander Smith? Were you afraid that what happened between us might have some kind of repercussion? On you? On me?”

“Yes,” the corset wrapped me in its grip. “And yes.” I hissed again through my teeth.

“Well, now that you two are all buddy-buddy, this shouldn't worry you anymore... Or what? You just didn’t want to put me on the spot?” Levi's voice became low and thick.

I could hardly nod at that point.

“Do I look like the type of person who could be easily put on the spot?”

No, Levi definitely wasn’t.

“Are you afraid of me too?” he asked me, almost whispering and pulling me in, against him. The corset tightened again and my head instinctively fell backward on his shoulder, like in the throes of some feverish, indecipherable sensation.

“Because I’m your captain? Because you see me as an obstacle? Because-”

“Yes, yes, yes,” I began to say incessantly, gasping for air between words.

“How ungrateful…” he whispered in my ear, “I’m even taking you back to see your sisters. Does that seem to you like getting in your way, Daphne?”

I shook my head, exasperated.

“Then what? Are you afraid…”

Levi took his time, pondering his next questions on the curve of my neck. His eyes went restlessly from one side to the other, nervously peering down at my chest as it swelled and deflated, impatiently waiting for his new word.

“Are you afraid of getting too attached? Of hurting yourself? Or hurting me? Are you-” the captain seemed caught up in a vertiginous urge to know, the frantic rhythm of his voice started to betray him.

“Yes, yes, yes,” I said under my breath. I closed my eyes and bit my tongue. I was ashamed to death of the expression painted on my face at that point. I was no longer feeling myself.

“Are you afraid that I will eventually find something out?”

At that question, I instinctively opened my eyes again. It seemed to me as if all my senses had suddenly sharpened. I could feel every inch of Levi's body behind me, pressed against mine. His face a few centimeters above my shoulder. His gaze reflected in the direction of mine, scrutinizing me, observing my every little movement, jolt, yielding. His questions, his words warming the curve of my neck, almost piercing my skin. He wasn't even touching me and yet I was completely at his mercy.

“Are you afraid that I will find out something about you? Some secret of yours?” he kept asking, squeezing tighter, leaving me speechless, breathless. “Are you afraid I'll find out something about you that you don't even know about yourself?”

The pressure of the bodice and of his words were going to my head as if I were lightheaded.

“Or are you perhaps afraid of yourself?” Levi formulated against my ear, forcing another moan to escape from my mouth, my legs to clench, pressing one against the other.

“You're afraid of how much you’re actually enjoying all of this, of us, aren't you?” A grin curved Levi’s lips, “It seems to me that… You are the one afraid to start living. You’re afraid you’re going to be too… Selfish, that way. Am I wrong, Daphne?”

With my eyes soaked in tears, I turned my head and looked at him in utter despair. But something unknown seemed to completely cloud Levi's vision and with a quick move of his hand, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at myself in the mirror.

“Don't be. Don't be afraid and just look at yourself.”

Unfortunately, I indulged him.

“I've already seen that look,” he confessed, as his other hand began to slide along my side, down the fabric, lingering on the edge of the corset and then slipping under it. “You don't have to hold back. I already know what that means. I know, Daphne. I know.”

A sharp sigh broke my silence when I felt his fingers making their way down, over the clumsily mended hem of the skirt. They seemed to know exactly what to do, where and how to touch me. His body and mine already knew each other. Levi knew, he knew everything.

The road to pleasure was paved with guilt and sins, but at that precise moment, I realized that for Levi I would have walked it again, even a thousand times, despite those millions reasons not to do it. At that very moment, I believed that was the same path to freedom. The first bite of that forbidden fruit had already been taken long before and we were already damned without even knowing it.

“You're making too much noise, Daphne. You don't want everyone to hear us, right?”

Before I could protest, Levi silenced that last moan of mine in his mouth, pressing his lips against mine, letting a muffled grunt echo across his chest. His hand around my chin slid down and clung tightly around my neck, surrounding it like a collar, squeezing it gently at each, tiny sound of mine.

Completely glued onto him, he could definitely feel my heart pounding, my skin crawl. I was getting closer and closer to my climax and Levi knew it. But I could feel something too, something hard poking my back, his ache growing every time I  unintentionally ground against him. My hands, still trapped and pressed against Levi’s belly, instinctively glided down to his pants. Once found the bulging shape, I tightened my grip around it, following its contours, making him gasp sharply in my mouth as I kept stimulating him.

“Excuse me, are you alright in there? Do you need a hand?” Lisa's feeble and trembling voice peeked out from the other side of the curtain, outside of the dressing room.

At that sound, we instantly stopped. One still pressed against the other, we panted in secret, as slowly and softly as possible, meditating on what to do. Levi slipped his hand out of the skirt and loosened his grip around my neck with the other. At that point, I almost felt like I was coming back to my senses.

Back to reality, I cleared my throat and said as composedly as I could: “Yes, I’m done. I’m coming out in a second.”

From behind my back, in the meantime Levi was carefully cleaning himself with a handkerchief he had previously pulled out of his pocket. Then, with equal care, he freed my wrists, slightly loosened the corset, and secured the end with a strong knot. Once done, he gingerly pressed a kiss on my shoulder, then another one and another one, one inch at a time, almost exhausted, deeply inhaling through his nostrils. His eyes moved upwards to meet mine in the mirror and on that same strip of skin from which his mouth had just risen, he whispered, “Let's take this one. I like you like this.”

Before walking out of the dressing room, he handed me a tissue and then added, his voice hoarse and lethal, “And this is not over yet.”

When he finally left the room, I felt my legs giving out. I let myself fall backward onto a little chair in the corner, as I tried to pull myself back together. Looking up at the mirror, I caught my reflection indulging in a wide, unexpected smile.

What the fuck had just happened?

Coming out of the dressing room, I was about to place the other clothes on the counter next to Levi, but he seemed quite caught up in a heated conversation with the owner of the bazaar about ammunition. In order not to disturb him, I decided to take another walk around the shop, left what I had in my hands to Lisa, and began to browse the various shelves. Once in front of a glass counter, I paused to examine the jewelry on display. A few moments later, a warm voice tickled my ear.

“See something you like?”

I instinctively put a hand on my chest. Levi had startled me.

“Actually, yes. See that little black collar?”

“Not bad,” he commented from above my shoulder, looking through the glass of the counter. It was a very simple black cord, decorated with a small gem. Nothing too fancy. Lilith would surely have worn it. Maybe I should...?

I slightly rotated my torso towards him and unconsciously bit my lower lip. I don't know why, but the idea of taking advantage of Levi's generosity once more terrified me. Maybe I should just...? and so I asked him, “Can I... Do you think we can get that too?”

Levi blinked, unfazed at my request. He examined my puppy eyes for a few seconds and then dryly said, “No.”

So he went back to the check-out, while from behind his back I pouted and followed him without protesting any further. Literally a piece of string. He bought himself enough ammo for a fucking carnage, that was just a collar...

Back again in front of the owner, Levi looked at me and ordered me not to stay there with that face like I was about to cry and to wait for him outside. In response, I clicked my tongue with annoyance but eventually obeyed, adding a sarcastic “Yes sir!” as I left the shop.

Now on the street, I saw a nice, little bakery right in front of me and without thinking too much about it, I hopped over to its window. I stood there with my eyes glued to that glass for several minutes, completely captured by the intricate preparation of a composition of bread, raisins, and dried fruit.

After a while, I noticed Levi’s silhouette crossing the street to reach me, yet I continued to follow the old lady behind the glass. The Captain silently waited for my reaction but I just shot him a quick and disinterested glance. Then I saw his reflection looking for something inside his pocket, taking it, and approaching me, his hands going up towards my lobes and then two clicks. Suddenly, a couple of enchanting earrings appeared. Simple, yet sophisticated, two small emeralds set in a golden structure. My eyes widened.

I couldn’t help myself from touching them and looking in the mirror in pure amazement. I was simply speechless as I inspected my reflection, almost without believing my own eyes. Oh, if only Nina could see them ... I secretly thought.

Then I turned towards Levi, with that look of surprise still on my face. When I stammered something confused and incomprehensible, he stopped me, saying “Petra was right, green is definitely your color.”

He remembered. Levi remembered that little comment Petra had made sometime ago. And that was enough to make me irretrievably blush. But still, I had the nerve to ask him, with my hands on my hips: “Yeah, okay, but why? If you really didn't like that collar you could have just told me instead of-”

Levi gave me his usual dirty look and with his grim face, he began to lecture me, “A necklace is too dangerous. What if someone tries to choke you with that, you idiot? Tch , you really are the most incompetent, clueless criminal I have ever met.”

After that, he turned his back on me, walked off, and motioned me to follow him, “Come on, we've already wasted too much time for my liking.”

~

Sitting in the carriage, next to each other, we both seemed to be engaged in some silent discussion. And so, seconds passed inexorably. Eager to do or say something, anything, I glanced at that bag under my feet, full of our purchases.

I sighed. “Well, it looks like these two… Erm, what's their name again? Daphne and Levi, right? They have a lot of problems, huh?”

Levi looked at me a bit confused, raising an eyebrow.

“Poor things. You know, I feel sorry for them…” I said, rummaging in the bag. “Too bad they can't live it as freely as we do,” and so I pulled out our wigs, Adam’s and Lilith’s. I slipped on mine, then turned towards Levi and calmly adjusted his. He didn't protest, watching my every move with an almost smug look.

“Don’t you agree?” I asked him, stroking the back of his neck and pulling him in for a short but deep kiss.

“Yeah…” Levi commented as soon as I drew back on my seat.

“I was thinking… Maybe, for the next few days, we could... What if we pretended that all these problems didn’t exist? No titans. No Survey Corps. No sisters. No Commander Smith. No-”

Levi couldn’t hold back, and nodding his head, he brought my lips back to his, pulling me into his arms. Unfortunately, we were soon interrupted by a jolt and then by a decisive bang on the roof. The coachman had just stopped the carriage and we had finally arrived.

I had a very vague memory of the tunnel for the Underground, yet its sight was simply bloodcurdling. At that point a dark passage stood before us, it looked like Hell’s gates. I felt my legs stiffening at every step and so I stopped a few meters from the checkpoint.

Levi walked by my side and, intertwining his hand with mine, he told me, “I'm here, I’m right here.”

My head fell forward. I shut my eyelids and took a deep breath. Once I opened my eyes again, there, under my feet, I saw them. Reflected on the floor, our shadows, merged one with the other, looked like two souls at the gap as we proceeded in the gorge of the underworld, together, for the same, identical condemnation.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬:

• Lilith is one of my favorite characters of all time. In this chapter I mention the version from the Jewish tradition, but just know that this is not the only one, • The flat cap with the hidden razor blade is (obviously) inspired by the Peaky Blinders, • Levi is not wearing the uniform, he is already in off-duty clothes, • The corset scene vaguely resembles an Interrogation Scene (BDSM), • Yes, the hooded man in the flashback is the soldier from the previous chapter and the man who hired Daphne to kill Levi, Erwin, Farlan, and Isabel, • The relationship between Kenny Ackerman and the Master will be better explained further ahead, don't worry, • Finn's character will be better introduced in the next chapters, • For this chapter I actually learned how to break an apple with my bare hands. Yes, it is possible, even for a pussy like me, but I am not doing it ever again lol