#he's a fuckwit but he's not a barbarian

[urjabhi]

Kim’s getting in touch with his Drama skill

00:00 - La Puta Madre's peones & Racist Lorry Driver

00:52 - the pre-eminent spousal surveillance firm & Plaisance

01:29 - the Boogie Street shakes & Acele

Transcript:

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — "Listen up, fuckwit. You don't scare me. You cops don't run Revachol West. You don't run Martinaise. You don't run shit."

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — "You're all bark and no bite. The real dogs are up in Jamrock. Everyone knows that."

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant turns to the lorryman. "You mean *La Puta Madre*."

INLAND EMPIRE — The name resounds like a bell in the air -- a dark gong. You get a bad feeling about it. ENCYCLOPEDIA — A legendary -- and not in a *good* way -- crime boss from Jamrock. Controls what is probably the most powerful organised crime outfit in Revachol West.

ESPRIT DE CORPS — Looks like the lieutenant has a plan. Let him do this.

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — For a moment the lorryman is silent. Then he spits on the pavement. "Yeah, him."

YOU — Cross your arms and nod.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Then I presume you're familiar with his *peones*?"

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — "Yeah," he says, unsure where this is leading. "They're his little bitches. He's got them all over the unions."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Not just the unions. He has peones *everywhere*. Some say he even has them in the RCM." He gets closer to him. "Dirty fucking peones who'd do *anything* for him. Multi-ethnic drug addicts..."

DRAMA — The lieutenant adopts a rodentine quality. Be cool, sire. He's getting *into* this.

YOU — Say nothing.

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — "You're not peones," he says. "You wouldn't be investigating a drug-thing, if you were."

KIM KITSURAGI — "No. Of course not. *We're* not peones. But *if* we were... and one of Madre's drivers were to be stealing from him -- then it's a good peone's job to find out who that is."

DRAMA — He's surprisingly good at this. Not bad at all... Look at him lurching.

KIM KITSURAGI — "It's not a hard job. It won't take a long time. It won't make Padre Madre *angry*." He looks at him. "But a stupid fucking racist is standing in the way, *protecting* this fucking thief..."

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — His eyes dart between you and the lieutenant. "I'm not scared of you -- or the mob. I'm under the protection of the Lorrymen and Carters Guild."

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant raises one eyebrow. "You've seen the corpse in the yard, yes? You took a peek. I *know* you did. Did his shitty little guild protect *him*?"

RACIST LORRY DRIVER — "Nah. You wouldn't just leave him out there if you..." He tries to light a fresh cigarette, but his hands are shaking now. The sentence simply ends.

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant turns and gives you a barely perceptible nod.

ESPRIT DE CORPS — I've softened him up. As best as I could. Now it's on you to finish the job.

***

DRAMA — Time to fire up the old lie machine!

YOU — "Ma'am, I am a renowned private investigator, a paragon of law and a specialist in all things criminal." KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant shoots you a sideways glance. "And I am his private partner, John... Shao. Together we run the pre-eminent spousal surveillance firm in Revachol."

ENCYCLOPEDIA — Shao is what the Seolite Empire was called in the Occident, back when far less was known about the people. It was a barbarian Other, ever so mystical, on whom you could project any kind of exotic fantasy. The legend of it persists and a lot of people still think the 'Shao' is a thing.

YOU — "We are truly private in our partnership." KIM KITSURAGI — "Once we've caught our client's spouse *in flagrante delicto*, we blackmail them and pocket the money ourselves, because that's what private investigators do. Now, I see that *you* are a married woman..."

RHETORIC — Some penetrating sarcasm from your colleague there.

PLAISANCE — "What nonsense are you two going on about? This is not relevant at all. And besides," her lip curls in disgust, "*my* husband would never do such a thing. We are proper people." YOU — "Mind your manners, John. This isn't the great Shao Empire, where you can talk about sex stuff so openly!" PLAISANCE — "This is preposterous, a waste of my time and of no help to anyone." She looks displeased. KIM KITSURAGI — "Our sincere apologies, ma'am. No more nonsense. We're offering to assist you with your troubles, *pro bono*." Despite his apologies, there's a twinge of amusement in the lieutenant's eye. YOU — "It's a good offer, ma'am. I urge you to accept our help, it may be the only chance to save your business!" KIM KITSURAGI — "That's right. When not spying on the love affairs of the ultra-rich, we solve unusual mysteries by the lorry-load." YOU — "What better way, than to ask us --" PLAISANCE — "Oh my god, will you stop with the incessant yammering? It's too much." Her palm goes to her face. "If you wanted the key to the back door you could have just asked for it." YOU — "Fine, I'll ask for it. Can we have the key?" PLAISANCE — "Absolutely not!"

***

YOU — (Say it again louder, she might not have heard you over the wind.) "DO YOU WANT TO PARTY?!"

ACELE — "Yeah, I heard you, but what do you *mean* by 'party'?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Yes, what *do* you mean?" The lieutenant sounds serious.

YOU — "I mean: we get drinks -- and we also get drugs."

KIM KITSURAGI — "Yeah, man..." The lieutenant suddenly appears to your right with his collar popped *insanely* high.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Got any dope? We need some dope bad." He scratches his nose, then his armpit through the jacket. "I got the *Boogie Street* shakes."

DRAMA — He's really shaking and everything!

YOU — "Wow!"

KIM KITSURAGI — "Tryin'a score some *dope*, man. Tryin'a score some smack -- you got any?" He hops from one foot to the other.

ACELE — "What's *smack*?"

KIM KITSURAGI — "The *D*, man, gotta hit that D!"

ACELE — "What's... 'the D'?"

YOU — "Kim, she seems legitimately confused. Tell her what this *D* is."

KIM KITSURAGI — "*Diamorphine*, girl. Quit clownin'. We need a hook-up for that D..." He breathes in through his teeth.

ACELE — "Diamorphine? But that hasn't been around for years -- five or more, like, seven years maybe? Everybody just does *hunch* now."

REACTION SPEED — Interesting.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Really? What's that?"

ACELE — "Hunch is like ten times stronger than diamorphine and *waaay* more lethal. I think the name is... B-hydroxy-something."

ENCYCLOPEDIA — B-hydroxy-phenothiazine. Somewhere in the soggy remains of your factual memory, you know the name. From the streets.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — It's the dark lord himself, put into chemical form. Even I don't suggest it.

KIM KITSURAGI — "Okay." The lieutenant stops hopping. "That's... that's real bad. Someone should definitely look into that..."

KIM KITSURAGI — He rolls his collar down to normal human level and pulls out his familiar notebook. "We're from the police, by the way."

ACELE — "Oh, of course." She doesn't look surprised.

REACTION SPEED — C'mon. She must have known it the moment you walked up to her.

[qeerjazzhamster]

I wish I had the motivation to learn how to draw well because all I really want is to draw all of my dnd characters in the same party being their dumbass selves

Picture: a 7 foot tall human who pretty much looks like he-man with the voice of Skeletor and the planning of 60's joker (barbarian), a silver dragonbornn who is cursed but only so that he really likes gems, he just thinks they're neat (sorcerer), an air Genasi who would probably be the moral compass of the party, ridiculously paranoid because he basically had his FOV stretched so he can see for ages, because of this, he can and will shoot you from 300ft away (warlock), Bibby Bobbins the enigma to all, they are a non-binary Tabaxi circus performer whos magic exclusively looks like stage effect. Probably one of the least confrontational characters. (Cleric) and finally Robbie Tristallini, my weak robot son who is definitely a criminal but does it in the nicest way possible. Seemingly knows everyone, has slept with everyone (do not question the logistics of this) and can/will charm the pants off you. (Bard/fighter)

All I want is to be able to draw my fuckwit children and their dumbassery.

[commanderguixi]

I was... Inspired by a certain episode of Voltron. YOUR CHARACTERS, SPENDING A SIGNIFICANT PERIOD OF DOWNTIME, IN A TABLETOP ROLE-PLAYING GAME!!!

“... Okay, so, run your character concept by me one more time, Webnar.” exhaled Bradford, who somehow managed to get roped into being the dungeon master. Not hard to believe, given the tabletop game was something him and his army buddies used to play to pass the time in periods of grace like this.

And Elena happened upon a full set, albeit missing many character figures and pieces from the Black Market, go figure!

Bradford, naturally decided to base the game around fantasy, as well as throw in his own twists to the mix.

“Get this. He’s a German --”

“Germany doesn’t exist in Dungeons and Dragons And Aliens, fuckwit.”

“ -- Shut up, Kelly. He’s a German Barbarian Bard. See, this guy, named Klaudius, isn’t your lute strumming, pansy-looking peasant. He shouts his verses with so much raw power that it works. He can literally truth people to death by screaming at them so loud.”

“You really don’t know how to play this, do you?”

“Alright, wiseass. What’s your character?”

Jane swirled the contents of her whiskey glass, because she decided if they were going to seriously play this roleplaying game, she was going to be utterly smashed. To get into character, or something. “A lawful-neutral lightfoot halfling. Murshull’s a fighter, like me. Takes no shit, gives no shit. She’s packing intimidation as a skill, and that’s what I’m gonna specialize in.”

“Literally nobody ever is going to be intimidated by a pipsqueak --”

Jane, who held the title of being the second shortest on the Avenger, kicked Klaus’ shin underneath the table, eliciting a grunt from him.

“At least someone read some semblance of a handbook..” grumbled Bradford.

“ ... so your group finds yourself at a seemingly innocent looking cave.”

“ -- Perception check?” A roll of the die was cast. “.. a one.”

Bradford looks over the map, then flatly lifts his gaze to the group. “You feel as though this cave would make for an excellent home. It’s so cozy, and inviting and the rent is super cheap, being that there is none. Those pit of skulls really add a sense of, art decor to the place.”

“I shout at the top of my lungs to declare this cave the rightful property of Klaudius!”

“... can I roll to throw Klaus’ character into the pit of skulls?” intoned Dawn.

Bradford bobbed his head. “Strength check.”

[dontfailmenowscience]

Day 20

Things have begun too settle down here now, both the Doctors and myself are now waiting for my immune system to reboot, which should happen in the next 1-3 days. Shortly thereafter, around day 25 or so I’ll be having another bone marrow biopsy too see if science does have my back. The results will determine what life will look like for the next few months, either it’s cured, and I only have one more round of chemo(too make sure it’s cured), or science failed me, and I still have another round of chemo, this time with a stem cell transplant.....and we go again, and again...until it’s fucking cured ;)

All in all, this has been a rather pleasant journey, I freaked out at the beginning, before treatment got underway, but once it did, I took the approach of only using facts, putting my emotions in a box for the most part, letting facts, statistics determine how I would react. I don’t know how I would have coped if I hadn’t done this, as you can imagine you have a lot of free time to contemplate things in hospital, your mind can absolutely be your worst enemy in a situation like this.

 So I’d like to take this opportunity too thank Science. It has only been in recent years that I have taken a greater interest in science, and using the scientific method for assessing situations, finding the truth, based on fact....not how I feel, without this I think my battle would have really taken a greater toll on me, both mentally and physically. I trust Medical Science, I trust the countless people whom have dedicated their lives too saving the lives of others, I trust in the knowledge that has been passed down over generations, to culminate in what is saving my life right now.....Chemotherapy. It really is awesome! Now I’m not talking “oh did you see that dude do a triple back flip on his scooter”, I shrug my shoulders at such things “meh” I say, I mean dead set, I stand back and my mind races trying to comprehend the chain of events that has led to this moment and the treatment that is saving my life and the people involved, everyone from the first guy to describe Leukemia in 1827( anatomist and surgeon Alfred-Armand-Louis-Marie Velpeau), too the Doctors that are looking after me today, 190 years later..... I am in awe of it all.

Now here’s a story from the day before chemo started. So here is the thing with chemo, as I’ve said before it completely strips you of an immune system, and as a precaution the Doctors check a couple of things, primarily, they check your teeth. Now that’s all good and well, except I was getting dental work done literally three days before the Leukemia diagnosis, my teeth weren’t in the best shape, I was going to have to get dentures for my top row of teeth, so be it. Here is where shit gets real, the Doctors assessed my teeth and were not happy with the state of them moving forward with chemo, the chances of infection arising after chemo was too great. So guess the fuck what? I had six teeth removed in the space of 15 minutes! SIX.

Here’s the thing with getting teeth removed in hospital under somewhat urgent circumstances(needed to get chemo started asap), you don’t get the top gun dentist, you get the guy who is on at the time....and has a rough fucking idea of what he is doing. Now this son of a bitch caused me what I can absolutely guarantee is the most pain of I have ever experienced in my life, ever! So I get wheeled into this dudes chamber of pain(oh I got wheeled everywhere, not allowed to walk), things progress ok to start with, he begins anesthetizing my gums in the appropriate locations, now I don’t know what went wrong for the next part, but he stabbed the fuck out of my top gum, right at the front, instant tears, instantly gripped the chair, everything tensed with the pain that followed, and it continued for about 9 hours, well maybe not 9 hours, probably closer to 20 seconds, but my fucking god, I’ve never felt anything like it in my life, I almost reached up to pull the needle out myself, and would have if i could move my hands from the death grip I had on the chair. When he finally removed the needle I was wrecked, could barely breath after being tensed for so long, tears streaming from my eyes, my whole body hurt from attempting to fight the pain, “we might take a break for 30 seconds” this fuckwit says. I’m huffing and puffing, can’t see shit for all the tears exploding from my eyes(just as well really, if i could’ve spotted him...this guy was in mortal danger!). “jesus fuck me” I whimpered, as I lifted my “protective goggles” up to wipe my eyes, “the hell man?” I whimper again, “yeah sorry, we had to get it in though”. I don’t even know what the fuck that meant, shortly after that though.....i stabbed him in the eye with his own pen light! LOL, no lol, but seriously though, things progressed fairly smoothly after that, everything was ripped out in an orderly fashion and i went about my day, I mean sure.....I’ve got a smile like a Tasmanian Mountain Man now, but it saved me a tonne o cash getting a real dentist to do it. Ah, who am I kidding, it was not worth it, not by a fucking long shot, fuckin barbarian!

Anyway, I’m off, the next update should have the results that matter, the ones that determine what life will look like for me in the coming months.... come on science....we got this mate! :D

[goodcyndaquill]

This is a written piece about the DnD campaign I have going on with @turianjournalist , @felxndaris, and a few other friends. To clear things up for anyone that wants to read it: Yevelda is a half-orc fighter, Maeve is a halfling bard, Emry is half-elf ranger, Torrin is a dragonborn druid, Eze is a gnome barbarian, Safaris is a tiefling rogue, Obsidian is Emry’s panther companion, and Billy is Torrin’s goat companion. So, if you read this thanks! If you don’t want to follow this content I will be tagging them as #DnD and #Mavelda every time.

Yevelda smiled as she walked with Maeve perched on her shoulder down the winding road. The weather was perfect for walking in between towns, providing a nice day for traveling for the party. Eze was sitting on top of Billy’s back smoking a joint and trying to get the goat to join her. Thankfully, Torrin was keeping a watchful eye on her actions. For the life of her Yevelda would never understand that gnome. She was beyond aggravating, always managing to hit on Yevelda’s last nerve, but still they kept her around. Eze was at least useful in a fight. Emry kept up a conversation with Obsidian as they traveled. They discussed the tree growth in the area and how healthy the grass appeared. After the hellscape of the big city, the ranger was excited to interact with nature again. Torrinn, the darling, was humming a bit under his breath as he walked alongside Billy and Eze. Yevelda couldn’t help but smile at the small dragonborn. Safaris trailed toward the rear of the group, lurking along without much conversation. She was a mysterious person, but she was loyal to their mission. Finding Kriv was easier said than done, but Safaris was willing to help in order to keep Torrin happy.

Yevelda had never felt this level of contentment before. She had been treated like a lesser being her entire life, and to have friends that depended on her was a new concept. The responsibility was frightening, yet added a sort of comfort to her day. She knew that every morning she was going to be met with the faces of her companions.

“It’s nice out, huh? Emry sure seems to be enjoying himself,” Yevelda said to Maeve.

“Yeah, not bad. I’m glad we are all out of that city,” they said in response.

“Definitely. I never thought I would have to go back. I’m just glad we got out without too much trouble. My past could have quickly caught up with us, and I didn’t want to put that on the group.”

“I understand that. There are a lot of bad memories in that city,” Maeve sighed and their body kind of drooped. Yevelda felt panic twinge through her chest at the distress Maeve seemed to be feeling. Out of everyone, Yevelda trusted in their friendship the most and knew that if worst came to worst she would always side with the halfling.

“Is there...I don’t know” Yevelda grumbled trying to put her words into a cohesive sentence, “Can I help? With anything?”

Maeve was silent for a second, “ I don’t…”

Their words were interrupted by a man standing in their path along the road, “Hello travelers!”

Yevelda tensed up at the introduction, feeling on edge with the sudden appearance. She knew that this was most likely a robbery, kidnapping, or assassination attempt. However, the last was the least likely given that an assassin would be an idiot to announce their presence.

“You are all very kind to donate to our fund today! I’ll need money, jewels, weapons, and any other valuables you may be carrying,” the man announced while holding out a bag of holding.

“Oh yeah! Let’s-” Eze began before being cut off by Emry and held back by Torrinn.

“You, sir, should not attempt to steal from us. This will end poorly for you,” Emry announced.

“Yeah, yeah you filthy noble. Come on prissy pants, put all your shit in the bag and none of you will get hurt,” The thief snarled.

“You think you could take all of us on? By yourself? Our gnome here would love to kill you right where you stand.” Emry rebuked. Yevelda strained to stop herself from rolling her eyes. The sad fact of the matter was that Emry wasn’t even lying.

“You might not be afraid of me alone but how about-,” the man whistled loudly, “15 of my men?”

“Hey, Fuckwit,” Yevelda gruffed while gently placing Maeve on the ground and stepping in front of them, “We are going to walk through here with all of our stuff and there isn’t a thing you can do to stop us. Your men don’t scare me.”

“Bold much, Half-Orc bitch?”

“Fuck you!” Maeve shouted trying to skirt around Yevelda, “Let’s go!”

“Maeve!” Yevelda barked before turning her attention back to the thieves, “As my companion here was trying to say you can either let us pass or face the consequences.”

The man bellowed out in laughter, and the group took that as a cue to draw their weapons. Yevelda quickly unhitched her warhammer and shield from her back. The familiar weight of the weapon brought a small sadistic smile to her face. She enjoyed the hefty weight of the hammer in her hand, and knew that these men would not be much of a challenge. They reminded her of a gang from her past that was quickly wiped out because they got too ambitious and tried to take from the wrong people. Thievery is a game of wits, and those as bold as this man wouldn’t last long in the real world of crime. Yevelda has seen people from all walks of life attempt this gig only to fail miserably. She was glad to teach this poser a lesson about stealing.

“One last chance, put your shit in the bag and no one will get hurt,” he demanded confidently.

“It’s your last chance to give up now before you all die,” Yevelda growled out, tusks jutting out further in a menacing look.

“Fine have it your way,” the man suddenly ducked and a flaming ball of fire flew straight over his head aimed at Emry.

In that instance the fight had begun. Yevelda watched as Eze went beserk, charging into the group of men with her hand axes held high. She tried to take out as many kneecaps as she could. Emry had dodged the fireball in time by rolling out of the way. He quickly came up to one knee and began firing shots off into the group of men. He ordered Obsidian to attack their leader. The panther lunged forward, only to be struck in the side with an icy blast from another magic user in their band. Emry cried out in horror as his beloved panther fell. Safaris was quick to rush in and scoop up the injured feline and pull him out of the fray. She moved with the grace of a dancer on the battlefield, dodging blows all while carrying the great beast. Once she laid the cat at Emry’s feet, she worked her way back into the fight. Daggers glinted in the sunlight as she struck out against the large human men attempting to pin her down. Each of their clumsy moves was countered by three of her own. In no time she had debilitated two of her attackers and was working on another. Torrinn had shifted into a timber wolf and was circling around the band of thieves quietly, trying to gain the element of surprise. He latched onto the shoulder of one of the archers in the back of the group. His screams rang out, echoing loudly through the trees.  A smile cracked Yevelda’s face knowing that even sweet Torrin was fighting for all he was worth.

Yevelda knew that taking out the leader was the best plan of action for ensuring that the fighting ceased. If he died, his men may not feel like continuing the battle and that could cut down on injuries. Without Warren the group was more vulnerable, and getting injured now could spell death. Launching with a yell, Yevelda swung her hammer out in hopes of striking the leader in the head. Unfortunately, he was quick and deftly dodged out of the way. He pulled a rapier from his hip and squared up to fight. Yevelda let out a large huff of air reminiscent of a laugh. This puny man thought he could fight her with that dinky little weapon. The thief’s eyes glinted as his eyebrow quirked upwards.

“You underestimate my abilities, half breed,” he spat the insult like it was fire in her direction.

“Like I haven’t heard that before from my victims,” Yevelda added a growl to the end of her sentence.

The duo began to circle each other, trying to test the waters without jumping in. Yevelda knew that she had an advantage in strength and reach over the man, but he was much quicker than her. If he got under her swing, he could take jabs at her abdomen. But if she swung upwards he would have nowhere to dodge and get within her space. As they pair finished their appraisal of the other, Yevelda caught sight of Maeve firing bolts into crowds of thieves from a boulder they had perched upon. The sight of was a reminder of what could happen if Yevelda didn’t finish this fight fast. With a plan formed Yevelda faked to the left and swung her great hammer upwards toward the man’s chin on his left side. He had attempted to lunge at her right side with his sword, but that had only put him in a better position for her attack. Yevelda caught the thief under the chin with her mighty swing, snapping his head back and severing his neck from the spinal column. He dropped into a heap on the ground, his lifeless body folding in upon itself.

“I think you underestimated me,” Yevelda bellowed as she attached her shield to her back and grabbed the corpse, “Your leader is dead. Cease and desist.”

“NO!” a man that was lingering back in the group screamed. He quickly summoned a great ball of fire in his hands and flung it out towards Yevelda. Without her shield the fire would inflict massive damage. Frantically she dropped to ground, and tried to roll out of the way of the attack. Her somersault brought her back up to her feet in one fluid motion as she pulled a dagger from its holster on her thigh. With sheer force, Yevelda flung the blade at the magic user and impaled him through his breast bone. She could hear him choking on blood that quickly pooled in his throat and lungs.

“Anyone else?” She replied eerily calm.

“Yevelda!” Torrin shouted from behind her, “Maeve! They’re hurt.”

With that Yevelda turned her back on the enemy, a move that no fighter should ever make in the heat of battle. Torrin was cradling an unconscious Maeve in his arms. They were burned badly indicating that the fireball aimed at Yevelda had indeed met a mark. Suddenly red filled Yevelda’s vision. The world was drowned in blood and she was prepared to add to it. With speed that a person her size should never possess, Yevelda whipped around and faced the five remaining men. They were at fault for hurting Maeve. They were the reason Maeve was burned and in pain. With a blood-curtling scream, Yevelda charged the men with two axes in hand. Rage like she had never felt coursed through her veins, even when she had been tied down and beaten by the orc gang she had not felt this bloodlust. With vicious precision Yevelda cut through the enemies bodies as if they were butter. As she powered onward she could feel weight begin to drag her down, but nothing would stop her from obliterating the cause of Maeve’s pain.

“Yevelda! Stop!” Emry shouted as he clung to her back.

“Fucking hell,” Eze cursed as she was dragged behind Yevelda, hanging onto her leg for dear life.

“See reason Yevelda! That one is the healer! He could fix them!” Safaris reasoned as she tried to wrap her tail around Yevelda’s stomach. Their efforts were making little impact on the rampaging woman. The man was quivering in fear, knowing that the warrior was seconds away from slicing him in half like his companions mere seconds before. However, Torrin stepped in front of the man, clutching the dying Maeve to his chest.

“Yevelda, stop,” he whispered, standing directly in the path of destruction.

Abruptly all motion ceased, and Yevelda stood centimeters from Torrin and Maeve. Great puffs of air were forced from her lungs in an effort to maintain control over her emotions. Peering over the top of Torrin’s head, Yevelda could see the final member of the band of thieves. He had soiled himself in fear, and was currently slumped to the ground in obvious relief. He didn’t appear to be carrying anything other than a dagger and a bag of holding. A thief with so little was most likely support for the others in his group, meaning he was most likely a healer.

“Are you a fucking healer?” Yevelda said, still trying to push her rage and panic down deep in her chest.

At first the man winced at her voice, then slowly looked up.

“Fucking answer me!”

“Yes…” he meekly replied.

Yevelda reached out for Maeve, and Torrin didn’t hesitate a moment before handing them over. She cradled the halfling gently in her arms, the blood from the slaughtered men staining Maeve’s clothes.

“Fix Maeve, or I will end your pitiful life with my bare hands,” Yevelda threatened in a menacing whisper.

“Y-yes,” the man began digging in his bag of holding, “Set her down here.”

“It’s they,” she barked.

“R-r-right. Set them down here.”

Yevelda knelt down, protecting Maeve’s body with her own. She balanced their tiny body on her lap and awaited the healer’s instructions. All the while, Yevelda never took her eyes off of Maeve’s face. They looked so broken, with burn marks running across their chest. The fireball had hit them dead center, a hit Maeve could had deftly dodged if they had seen it coming. But, they hadn’t because the blast had been meant for Yevelda. If only she had taken the hit instead, Maeve wouldn’t be this close to death. Yevelda could still feel small, bird-like breaths, but they were fading out fast.

“I need you to open their mouth. This is a potion of superior healing, so it will hopefully be enough to save their life.”

Quickly following the command, Yevelda gently opened Maeve’s mouth and held it so the healer could pour the potion slowly down their throat. Once the vial was emptied, Yevelda sat still as a statue waiting for any sign of improvement.

“Please Maeve. You have to come back,” she whispered softly so that no one but Maeve could hear.

The halfling’s eyes began to flutter open and they saw Yevelda’s face covered in blood hovering over them. Tears shined in Yevelda’s eyes, and Maeve knew she was fighting back her feelings for the sake of the group. Yevelda was always like that, looking out for everyone but herself. Maeve gingerly reached up and wiped some of the blood off Yevelda’s cheek.

“You know this stuff stains right?” they said gruffly, their throat still sore.

A bright smile overtook Yevelda’s face and a few tears fell, “So I’ve been told. I should have cleaned up before welcoming you back, but I figured saving your life should come first.”

“Eh, I’ve seen you looking worse.”

“Well, you certainly have never looked better. Being alive suits you,” Yevelda hugged Maeve to her chest gently. She had never felt so relieved in her life, and that might account for the swift kiss she placed on Maeve’s hair.

The group let the two have their moment, knowing that it was more significant than either Yevelda or Maeve realized. Emry talked to the thief and let him go on his way after handing over several more healing potions. One of which Emry took to the injured Obsidian and administered immediately. Safaris, Eze, and Torrin began collecting weapons off of the ground and looting the bodies for valuables.

“When are those two going to figure it out already?” Eze whined.

“They have to get there on their own time,” Safaris said.

“I can’t wait till they do!” Torrin chimed in.

Yevelda straightened herself out of the kneeling position and gently placed Maeve atop her shoulders so they wouldn’t have to walk. She grabbed up her discarded weapons and turned to find the rest of the party waiting on her.

“What the hell are you all waiting for? Get a move on,” she commanded while rejoining them, glad to have the familiar weight of Maeve on her shoulders again.