#he's an attack dog AND search and rescue AND rat hunter AND service dog what is this pandering writing

[arbitrarygreay]

Nuclear Take

Hi my name is Bear Graubauer's Boker Lola Gotcha Butcher de Hond and I have long grizzly brown fur (that’s how I got my name) with ebony streaks and black tips that reaches my mid-tail and warm brown eyes like limpid coffee and a lot of people tell me I look like Cairo (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Nikki but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a Belgian Malinois but my teeth are straight and white. I’m also a military dog, and I go to a magic subway in New York City where I’m the favorite of Tall Man and Beautiful Hammer Lady. I’m scuba certified (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly nothing, but sometimes a shiny black vest. I love the library and I eat all my books from there. For example today I was eating a first edition Asimov with matching Gatsby and a black leather Patagonia atlas, a bag of bearer bonds and a large rawhide bone. I was wearing a black collar, metal studs. I was walking outside with Bespectacled Man. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of squirrels stared at me. I put up my middle paw at them.