#he's not even genderfluid. they have it as a throwaway detail but there's only a single female variant of loki | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johannacantsing · 5 years

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“as with all of his books, this is also outrageously fun and completely hilarious- i would expect nothing less”

a review of the hammer of thor by uncle rick (rick riordan)

It annoyed me that Magnus kept thinking of Loki as the god of evil, since that interpretation is going to lead to the wrong conclusions because evilness is not and never was Loki's motivation. I'm nervous that's going to come back to him.

I really admire Riordan's absolute commitment to representing people who he knows and does not see represented in other books, starting of course with his son having ADHD and dyslexia and making Percy as someone he can look to and see himself. I love that he understands the necessity and is continually working to make a positive change for children, starting with often overlooked mental illnesses to very marginalized groups.

Riordan makes a point to have Alex mention (twice I believe) that she doesn't- and cannot- speak on behalf of every genderfluid person, which I think is really important in both humanizing Alex as a character, as well as representing a genderfluid person with respect, integrity, and compassion. I love how he dealt with Alex as a character! From the beginning, her hallmates understood that she was genderfluid because of the clothes in the closet and didn't judge her for that- just being the child of Loki, but she proved herself so they didn't care about that one either. When she said she was a girl, everyone respected that; when he said he was a boy, everyone respected that as well. Riordan made sure to have her rebuke ignorance and prejudice quickly, with self-respect and self-love, which is so important for younger readers (since this is a middle grade book). When she corrects Thor, he clearly doesn't really get it but Magnus says that at least he was trying and had learned a little bit more. Riordan also makes a point to show the struggles particular to non cisgender individuals, such as Alex, when Magnus recognized her from a shelter. Alex has such a huge personality, while still being completely different from the other characters, such as Sam who shares Loki as a parent, and I think she's a very important character for young readers who may see themselves in him or her.

I absolutely love how Riordan worked with Sam. Having a strictly Muslim character is bold, and we can tell that he really put a lot of integrity into representing her correctly. All the characters absolutely respect her faith, e.g. how she needs a chaperone when she's out with Amir, her daily prayers, her hijab, etc. He tackles the question of religion in ways he hasn't before this series about how someone who truly believes in their faith would understand the world after being pulled into the world of Old Gods and modern demigods, as well as when Amir's eyes are opened. I love how passionate she is and how human, especially in a time very much in want of compassionate and loving views of a Muslim character for children. Samira is strong, smart, loyal, driven, and extremely honorable- Riordan was very careful in making her and it's exquisite. I also liked how Riordan portrayed Sam's relationship to Loki. She really pushes back against his power, and by allowing her a way to grow to accept those parts of herself from him as herself, through Alex, seems like it will be really healing for her.

Obviously I love Magnus. I love how, while both very sassy, he's different from Percy because Magnus is so gentle. I love that Riordan wrote a main character as a boy who is gentle and kind and compassionate, who loves his friends and they love him because of those qualities that are rarely given to boys in any media, especially main characters. At the end of the book, Alex even says to Magnus that he isn't a fighter. Again- I think that this is incredibly important for young readers, for the boys who don't want to fight and never can see boys like them in anything. Riordan really cares about his readers and making a place for them to be represented. I also really like how Riordan continually reminds the reader that Magnus was homeless and living on the streets specifically by having him remember his experiences- usually in an almost throwaway style- and followed either by Magnus showing empathy and compassion because that was actually his life or by having some comic relief because frankly homelessness is a really big issue, especially if you're a young reader. I love how Riordan portrays homelessness; this isn't a story about the terrifying, titillating details of homelessness. Riordan isn't trying to claim someone else's story and write that. It's a part of Magnus without being the entire story. And Riordan uses this part of Magnus' history to show young readers that homeless people are still people who deserve respect, compassion, and maybe a delicious pastry like Magnus gave the guys he saw. By making not only the main character, but also Blitz and Hearth (who are arguably Magnus' family), Riordan shows a version of the complexity of homelessness in a way that young readers can understand. His inclusion of Alex and Magnus' immediate acknowledgement of how hard life is on genderqueer kids and teens, as well as gently showing the challenges that they face, really forces the reader into a place of empathy or complete isolation from the main character since Magnus is so strongly empathetic towards homeless people and especially understands how difficult life can be for people like Alex; allowing young readers to feel this empathy, as well as showing them that there are significant obstacles for marginalized people in a way that is respectful and not too harsh for children is completely masterful.

Blitz's repeated ability to save the day (or at least help to) by creating fashion and therefore being true to himself is so important, especially since he's a male role model for Magnus. Riordan shows that value comes from being oneself and that men (and the young boys reading this!) should follow their passions because those endeavours are going to be much more productive than if one tries to do what they think society thinks they should do, e.g. Blitz making functional fashion vs Blitz trying to make weapons in a more traditional dwarven sense. Also showing Blitz (and Hearth) having handicaps that have to be worked with but in no way at all diminish either their extreme value or Magnus' love is so important for young readers. Magnus saves Blitz by turning him to stone, which normally would be very bad but this time his weakness was the thing that saved him.

Hearth goes through so much in this book. We learned in the last book that Hearth had to leave his house because his father was abusive because he was deaf, which disgusted Magnus, therefore showing young readers that being deaf or having other disabilities that good people will treat other with respect and love you no differently just because you have a disability. We saw how traumatic it was for Hearth to go back and how important it is to get out of abusive situations. I really liked how Sif told Hearth that he needed to reclaim his brother's rune, eventually because that would signify his healing, which he obviously really needs.

#book review #mine

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jaxxonpollux · 6 years

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“why do i always pick people that don’t want to be with me?”

this is completely cliche. i know it, probably everybody knows it. it’s something you’d hear on an episode of Degrassi, or maybe occasionally on Full House. poor Uncle Joey, let’s give him a throwaway line to say to, i don’t know, Bob Saget or twin baby Michelle so that they can monologue something heartfelt over our staple sentimental TV show score. that’s like, our thing. or, let’s have this teenager guy say this to his lady bff so she has a reason to look sad and throw herself at him. something that would never happen irl except under desperate circumstances.

and i know why i said it too. not because i truly felt it, in all honesty. i mean, i did felt some semblance of rejection from a variety of people i had spoken to or heard from or looked at in the past 24 hours, but the notion that i’m so pitiful that i’m just “picking the wrong people” and wearing blinders is kind of a a joke. i can just as readily give up on somebody as i can be obsessed with them. it’s some ugly cosmic power i have. i always allude to my vague sense of pride, and that’s a part of it, a refusal to be desperate. i’d rather be alone forever than be desperate! you don’t say things like this because you mean them.

it’s intentionally pitiful. manipulative. again, not a word that i like to wear, but it fits nice and snug around the ol’ waist. and i tap into it even during the smallest interactions. i don’t know why it’s a part of me. maybe it’s the way i was raised, maybe miasma is really a thing, and i’m just converting all of my dad’s alcoholic guilt-trip energy into something equally ugly and not yet as sinister. sometimes a conversation is like an experiment. sometimes you just say things because you wonder about the response, not to get things off your chest.

i said it and she paused for a second, and then said “i’m sorry.” like she was complicit in the crime, a #metoo with an entirely different meaning. an admission that she never wanted to be with me either. which, like, doesn’t really bother me at this point, but it’s interesting to hear people react that way. not a supportive “aw shucks pal, you’ve got the right person for you just around the corner! and besides, i love you tons, c’mere you big pile of marshmallow!”

or maybe she could just smell the manipulation. i do that too, like, when homeless people go on a tangent to explain how much of a christian they are before they ask for money. i met one guy who crossed his chest, pointed at the sky, and made a cross with his fingers all within the span of 5 seconds. it kind of made me feel like a vampire or something. anyway, when you smell a manipulation tactic, the first instinct is always repulsion, and it’s usually the one you go with. maybe that’s why she said what she said the way she said it, a casual brush away. not playing that game. it makes the whole probe kind of a dud, but that happens with probes, doesn’t it?

it’s peculiar, treating conversations like experiments. trying on personalities and characters like masks. you can’t really do that without some kind of cost. it ruins your image, to the people you don’t want to be ruining your image for. you can’t have any fun anymore! as i recently said to someone else i know. there’s no rehearsal when it comes to this kind of stuff. no rewind. you just say it and let yourself be destroyed. for science, i guess.

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anywho, i think i’m becoming more comfortable with being an awful person. like, just letting the floodgates loose. i had a girlfriend when i was 14 who was very catty and loved to gossip, one day she said she was gonna try not to do that anymore, it made her feel bad. i begrudgingly went along. i think it destroyed the magic. and anyway it didn’t last very long, people can’t really make choices like that for themselves. i mean, maybe some people can. i don’t really know. but i’m just accepting some of those evils now and letting them boil on the stovetop. all the things i try to hide or not be. all the things i don’t want people to see when they look at me. i suppose it’s a victory for “being yourself,” isn’t it? isn’t that the ideal everyone tries to reach? or is that just another piece of teenage tv melodrama advice that doesn’t really mean anything? i saw a clip from the new spider man movies, spider man was like “you’re right, i should just be myself,” and his fat friend was like “c’mon peter, nobody wants that.” he might be right, and maybe a lot of people aren’t themselves because they know they suck.

i still feel like i don’t know who myself is. there are some people out there that spend every waking moment worrying about what other people think about them, about trying to put their best face on every day, trying to be a really good person, under the assumption that it will also make them feel good. be kind, love, and be loved. constantly wondering what the best thing to say is, and constantly drawing a blank. people like me! i feel like half the time i hear somebody i don’t have any reaction inside. it’s not that i have secret hateful thoughts that i bottle up or anything. i just have like, a lot of undeveloped land in there, somehow. i could run a kid over on his bike and shrug it off. i could be having sex with a beautiful woman and not feel a hint of arousal. my mind goes blank a lot.

or maybe i just have a lot of cellophane over certain parts of myself. does that make sense? i haven’t had the experience that required me to unpack that box there in the back. i’m sure if i actually ran over a kid, went to court, had to face their sobbing parents, got slapped around by some interrogating police officer, spent time stewing in a jail cell, my heart would be bleeding with guilt and regret. i just haven’t gotten a chance to make that mistake yet and unlock that part of myself.

or maybe when i’m faced with things that i ought to care about, a big shield pops up, a wave of protection, and everything goes blank. a sort of dissociation, which i really hate in other people when i want to know them, but maybe it’s something that i have too. like a wall of fear that doesn’t let anything in or out. it’s paralyzing, being put in a situation, and not knowing what you would do in that situation. your head doesn’t let you know the next step, so you wait there, dumb and sweating. it’s only until directly after that everything comes flowing through, kind of like that “oh, THIS is what i should have said, this is what i should have done” feeling that is so incredibly common in everybody.

or maybe i’ve just locked the front door, but the back door is still wide open. and things only get to me through specific channels, ones that i wouldn’t normally count on but are tried and true. i don’t know what i’m doing in a bed with someone, but i come alive naked in front of a webcam. i’m a wallflower at parties, unless i get a specific concoction of drugs and drinks in me that pulls everything out, wit charm guts and all. i can’t talk for shit, but i can write up a real enthralling tale. who knows what’s going on in there?

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i feel like i’ve been trying to get to know this girl through the back door, the front door is locked. like, talking to her, when she makes herself available (scarcely), doesn’t bring me any closer to knowing her. KNOWING her, whatever the hell that means. so instead i’ve been digging around in everything she tells me she ever liked, movies she watched, books she read, things that had a profound effect on her. trying to put together machine parts and figuring out what potions were sloshed together to make her. it’s a backwards way of trying to get to know someone.

i want to get to know people by living with them. i feel like it’s the purest way, learning a person’s diet and mannerisms and how often they do the dishes. it says a lot about how someone feels inside, i think, the time they wake up for work, or the food they have for lunch. every person i’ve ever met, i wish i had gotten to live with them for a while. i want those nitty gritty details, i thrive off of them. sometimes i even want to become people for a while, like some psychotic twist on method acting.

actually, that’s probably not true. i tried to think of why i would want to be somebody else and it’s just exhausting. and i think i only want to understand other people so i can shape myself to be the best for them, again that kind of manipulative “i’m trying my best to be perfect for you” desire. the problem is, i’m never going to figure anyone out, and even if i did, i don’t think i have the proper judgment to decide what would be best for them either. i need to figure out a better way to interact with people, clearly. letting people just be themselves and not thinking about it drives me nuts sometimes, but it’s obviously the best. i just don’t want to be one of those Men that goes through life steam rolling everyone else under whatever my personality ends up being, just being unabashedly unashamedly “myself.” that kind of person gets on my nerves too. i get the feeling some people really love that kind of person, but oh here i go again trying to decide on “kinds of people” like i’m trying on shoes.

it’s honestly a mess. maybe i’ll grow out of it. like maybe i’ll have a kid and the only person i’m allowed to be is a good dad, for the rest of my life. there’s some comfort in that, knowing who you gotta be and just committing to it. right now, i could still be anybody. i don’t know if i’m a baker or a writer. i don’t know if i’m an artist or a mindless consumer. i don’t know if i’m a bad boyfriend, a libertarian, a genderfluid fruit basket, or just a total sack of shit. and that really bothers me. i mean, obviously.

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