#hell my mom doesn't even watch 911 like that but she watched the scene with me and she was shook too

[shadowsandsunset]

Spoilers for s7e5 9-1-1 under cut:

So I'm watching live and I am missing parts because of a tornado warning but:

Opening? Funny as hell. Poor Eddie. His poor balls.

Karen and Hen preparing for a baby with Chim and Maddie and then not getting a baby? But a little girl age 9? Interesting.

Buck being awkward and closeted with Tommy.

Eddie interrupting? Marisol moving in? Ooooof.

Tommy being like "I don't think you're ready" ow my heart. He's absolutely right to do so. Love Tommy!

Hen and Karen meeting the little girl.

Tornado warning. Ugh. Btw, I'm out of the path of the tornado warning, it's further south of me but I'm getting the warning anyway.

Buck going to Maddie for advice and then playing the pronoun game "this person".

Maddie catching on... "Now you're more than an ally"

Then.... "it's the same Tommy... Eddie's friend..." With a frankly judgy stare Lmfao

Maddie is giving good advice even if taken off guard but being supportive like we knew she would be. Maddie is awesome.

Then Eddie and Marisol in bed in the next scene...her boxes everywhere.

Also hello shirtless Eddie, welcome back, good to see ya.

Marisol was almost a fucking Nun??? Eddie making jokes about being spanked...

Back to the little traumatized girl with Hen and Karen. Karen and Hen are such good moms. This poor kid tho. I don't know what has happened to this kid but goddamn, my heart.

Ooh Buck what are you doing with Eddie... Eddie is being weird about the nun thing lol and talking about his reservoir of Catholic guilt

"like sea monkeys" "no"

Something something tornado warning

"I haven't been able to...you know...since I found out"

"which is why you're so pent up"

Buck backing out of telling Eddie about his recent sexual exploration...

Hen and Cap talking about the traumatized girl. This is heartbreaking. The whole situation is heartbreaking. Poor Denny, he's such a a good kid. But like...why isn't this girl in therapy of some sort? Shit. Like...shit. I hate the US healthcare system. But something is going on and like...idk.

Again, this tornado warning is annoying. I'm missing half the convos and my closed captions aren't working properly.

Hen and Karen are struggling, which I understand, and I think they're trying but with cases like this...

Now Eddie and Cap are talking about Marisol... And his commitment issues... I swear to God Cap was going to say "military, your job, ... Buck" lmfao

"I would probably go to confession, wouldn't want to get on her ex's bad side...the Lord"

Dog attack? Parallels to the little girl? Ooh, heavy handed metaphors...

Wait, does Hen just know dog CPR? Cool.

Oh yay, the dog doesn't die! Hen is now committed to helping the little girl.

Mara is the little girl's name, Athena is helping... The girl's parents were criminals, died to OD. The girl called 911. This poor kid.

Buck and Eddie... Ooof. I'm not spoiling this. I love you all. Ok.

I will say Eddie didn't seem super surprised about it but the fucking tornado warning drowned out half of the scene. I am pissed. I'm going to have to rewatch this later.

Buck is the cutest little bisexual and I love him. I really do.

Eddie...and Marisol. Nuns. Moving In. Not moving in. Blah blah don't care. Sorry not sorry.

More with this new kid and Karen. God, Hen is lucky AF. Karen is amazing and I want to marry her.

Buck and Tommy! Yes. Yessss. Awwww. I love them. Buck is growing up! Tommy is fucking amazing. He's so gentle and kind and and awwwww.

The boys showing up for the wedding like that... lmfao. Omg. We gotta wait two weeks for The Hangover: 9-1-1 edition.

This episode is not what we wanted for Buddie but uh... There is still time? Maybe? There's always fanfiction.

Also? Tommy? I like him. I hope we keep him.

Also? Friendship is never a consolation prize. If they ever end up together or not, the love is there and that matters. The love always matters.

[0135719186420]

People need to worry less about if they are going to make it to heaven in the next life and be more concerned with saving those who are living in hell this life, right now. Humanity has such potential for greatness but we are as a species consumed with what do I get out of it. We have people suffering, if everyone gets the help they need when they need it that's help for you, your children, family, friends, neighbors. The more we lift others the more we lift ourselves. Do unto others as you would have done to you changes the world. Too many people feel burned by it, but it's only the pain from the light inside you burning against the darkness. If God makes the light within us burn for eternity, they are not the fires of damnation but like the fires of a star just born in the heavens further casting out the darkness. Let there be light!

I was a caregiver for 16 years. I watched like an angel of death as my grandmothers body weakened and betrayed her, as my mother in laws body betrayed her, and as my wife's body betrayed her. I have searched for God my whole life, I didn't find God in the bible though it pointed me in the right direction. I found God in love. Heaven and hell as twin sides of the same coin. Pain comes from love, just like the pain I carry every single day in my heart. Love is like a dagger you willingly plunge into your heart. I lost everything, 3 houses I inherited went right back into caring for others. I have a van now, a few trinkets, and the knowledge I did everything I could my whole life til now. I don't care about the things, what I miss is feeding the ducks with my wife, hearing my grandmother sing, my mother in law call my wife with an annoyingly screechy "Juuuuday!" instead of Judy. I miss sitting in my Grandfathers lap as he said "Howdy Partner!", I miss my Mom being younger and us listening to "Cherry Bomb" in the car everyday while I had a broken leg the summer after my Grandfather passed away. I wanted to save the world, I couldn't even save the people I loved most in this world from suffering and dying. Maybe though if people can care just a little bit more we won't have to witness and feel quite as much suffering. It's cruel to watch someone on a fixed income struggle to choose blood pressure meds over pain meds because they can't afford both, so you make the choice to help because you would want that for you. Unfortunately it seems people only care if you have a bath because they don't want to smell you than to know you're not wasting away in your own filth because you can't get in and out of the tub anymore. I have memories that felt like a scene out of a war zone, my wife struggling after falling and her grasped around my neck pleading because the position she fell in was bending her knee too far and was hurting and I'm lifting with all of my might with 911 on the way but her in excruciating pain and begging me to help. Getting her in the bed and rolling her in because she's too close to the edge. Steadying her as she walked, making sure she got hot meals because she couldn't stand long. This is to the end of doing this for 16 years, and finally my soul mate is snatched away from me too.

I'm still trying to help people, though I'm on disability, broken emotionally, and stay depressed most of the time. I give rides with the last thing I have in this world.

Don't Give Up... Shine brighter, burn yourself as bright as you can until you burn out, glow as an ember, and then die knowing that regardless if there's a next life, you made this one count.

The sad truth is very few will ever see this and actually respond, I could publish my life story shouting it from the rooftop and giving away copies and most people would discard it. This is for those who wouldn't obviously but more so that one day even after I'm gone when some archivist going through the internet to understand what today's world of humanity actually possessed when they look back at people who polluted and destroyed the planet and allowed so many to fall through the cracks of a society that was proclaimed as the pinnacle of human civilization. Money is the thing that divides people more than any ideology ever could, because it creates greed, it creates selfishness, I had no worries about money growing up so I saw the people around me as valuable and more so than things. I gave up everything because of how I was raised, because I was taught love not greed. The true message I want people to know is that things and lack of needs create more negativity in people's lives and thus they pull more into themselves becoming more selfish. I feel it sometimes with sleight hints of resentment, but I made my choices, I had the knowledge and resources to make my life anything I wanted but the people in my life were more important than all the things I could have had all to myself. I try to be good but it's a matter of perspective. Learning how to help is difficult and complex. Most people don't get this because of greed or self centered thinking caused by how our society is built. You help someone by doing everything for them and they loose more ability to do for themselves, it's a balancing act that I can't imagine being able to balance for most people when they're struggling to survive. Self awareness doesn't translate to awareness of others and we can easily hurt instead of help if we are not fully mindful of the delicate balancing act of caring for one another.

I have been blessed. More ways than one can imagine, an easy life without struggle doesn't push you to explore the deepest recesses of yourself, understand others, or seek to the ends of infinity in your mind for meaning from a God that you don't know if they're there but hope and develop logic and emotions in a balance of tempered reason. Pure logic might say if you are suffering and going to die anyway eventually to just end it now but compassion and understanding bring you to the understanding that it is not up to anyone to decide that within reason. I thought death might be more compassionate at times but as with everything there is a balance and only through widening our perception can we ever understand ourselves and others and the truths about life death and the universe and existence that elude most people and even when it is perceived being able to rationalize that it's still subjective to the individual.

[procrastinatingfeminist]

I've been sucked into the 911 fandom without having watched the show (I am having flashbacks to Firefly, that's how that started, too), so the time has finally come to remedy that. I have two days off plus the weekend, let's see how far I will be able to dive in.

What is hilarious though, is that I know plenty of things that happen in the show from all the fanfic I have already read. And so far the first season looks like a completely different show than the one that I have read about.

- Buck actually does start out as a very annoying bro type character. I got the impression he was slated for a woobie niche right off the bat. He wasn't.

- While the therapy session is seriously fucked up, I have say the way he asked her if she is the one who friended him on Facebook... does sound somewhat manipulative. Also interesting, that this was the one and only therapy session we have seen. Did she refer him to another doctor? Did he stop therapy once he got his dick wet? Did he get only one session covered by the department? So many questions, absolutely no answers. And honestly, it doesn't make Buck look good.

- For all that fanfic writers love to dump on Abby, like the majority of fandom often does with female love interests in the way of their ship, the only reason Buck turned even a bet likeable at the end of season 1 was because of Abby. She was the character development he badly needed. (Though the way she just disappeared on him is justifiably self-serving. Still, I do believe that she was real with him up to the episode with their second date. That is the moment their romance started fizzling out. There are ways to write about it without turning her into an absolutely heartless bitch).

- I think I wore similar kind of frames as Abby up to fourteenth birthday. Those look so dated. Everyone told me how unfashionable my glasses looked. It's real: everything comes back again.

- Everyone who has a family member that is dependent on specialized care deserves someone like Carla. I wouldn't have loved if my mom had someone from homecare service to help her with my grandma that was at least half as helpful and nice as Carla. Instead of whatever the fuck useless twats she had to rely on.

- What the hell is Chimney's problem? Aren't the guys supposed to be good friends? Like, Buck is Chim's little bro? I can't see anything good-natured in their relationship - or more like the good-natured bit is one-sided. Must be the chip on Chim's shoulder that is the size of the moon that is hiding all his affection for Buck. Chim is an asshole and a bully and I don't like him. Even if Buck comes with his own shitload of problems, he could have just as well kept professional distance, but these constant cutting barbs and barely checked envy and jealousy are so damn annoying.

- I thought the rebar thing was some fan writers idea of spitballing emergencies. I am shook to find out that it is really canon. This sound so fake, I always thought it was the least believable part of any fic.

- Isn't Buck supposed to have some super broad but arcane knowledge? Knowing some pretty weird stuff in weird detail? Haven't seen that in canon just yet. Only thing special about him is that he doesn't have some of the normal hangups.

- Best characters so far: Athena and Hen. Even the cheating arc doesn't diminish how good written Hen is. Instead of unlikeable it makes her more human and relatable. (Also, the actress is so breathtakingly beautiful). Athena ... is just Athena. If I start writing why I like Athena, she will need her own post.

- Goddamn that scene with the handcuffs and sex date had me in stitches. Such brilliant writing.

- Makes me wonder though how insulated she is as a cop against consequences with that 'skanky hoe' thing. That was so not okay, and she still got mad bc she had to file paperwork for a couple days instead of roaming the streets???

- Don't get me wrong, I love Bobby's backstory. But I really think that if he fucked up this badly, that no fire department would touch him anymore; lest give him a job as the captain at the station. The insurance alone would shoot through the roof and make him unemployable. Any asshole that wants to sue the dept and finds out about his history is gonna see dollar signs. That said - his character makes a sad sort of sense. Another piece of brilliant writing.

- In conclusion: if I only had watched season one and only seen the impressions of the show based on tumblr posts I would be wondering what the hell everyone is smoking who likes Buck and Chimney and hates Abby; and wonder where all the other firefighters and paramedics at the station are because we see almost exclusively Buck, Hen, Bobby and parttime Chim. I get that the reason is budgetary constraints but I think the only time we see something approaching the full shift is Chims party. Where was the rest of the station with the plane crash? What about the wedding? Are there at least some people they are familar with on the scene?