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Time is a never ending wick that was lit infinity ago and will take infinity to burn. It is upon the spire of time that life is burned in effigy. Moments remain shattered mirrored by their memories. Infinity is blinded by itself, the unending flow is silenced. Whisper now the watcher who sees the beginnings end.

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This is AI but how I imagine heaven. In death there is no more pain or suffering. There is no more worry. The burden of life is gone. We can die knowing that the world will keep going and if not there's enough universe for all things to exist. There's no need to worry.

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I'm Chapman, I write from my heart to try to connect with the world from my little perspective. I believe in God but not of any religion. If your God looks like you, you haven't looked far enough and even if your God looks like little green men you still haven't looked far enough. I think our perspective of the universe is too small. The farthest reaches of my mind reaching out to the divine is met with a black mirror. Death is the ultimate mercy of a hands off God. We have so much potential for our species. I hope one day to share my heart with the world.

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Death is the ultimate mercy of a hands off God. No matter how long, no matter how much suffering, no matter how much pain there is. It will ultimately end. We all want to live forever but do you really want to live forever? Like forever? No. Always on you will burn out. Your mind will collapse under the weight of infinity. Death ensures that all things are new.

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I followed the path I knew I would as a child even without knowing it. When I was little I used to pretend to be an old man and I would tell stories about my life. I told stories about how I had lost my wife and wound up homeless on the street. I told stories about how I lost everything and everyone. My grandmother recounted these tales occasionally over the years and said how they almost made her cry. Now looking back at my life I see that I have become that old man and once my parents die I will be homeless again and will begin the final part of my journey. I wonder sometimes if I knew before I was born what my life was going to be. I believe that I knew and chose it willingly because even with the shattered pieces of my heart I wouldn't change a thing. I was blessed to be able to take care of my grandmother, mother in law, and ultimately my Wife and will spend the last years of my parents life with them. I may not have fame or fortune but I have something more valuable, the knowledge of true love and compassion, along with a perspective on existence that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. So when the day comes, when I walk out into the world without a living soul to stand beside me, I will stand with an army of Angels behind me and the truth in my heart of a life well lived knowing that I fulfilled my purpose on this earth.

I wouldn't be who I am without God's love coursing through me. God's love opened my heart and soul to the world around me. God has taught me that I don't need anything physical in this world, food and water to survive of course, but I go to the store and just see useless pieces of plastic that are worth less than the cost to make them. The only value I see is in people, souls wandering in the shadows between the light and the dark. God is the light guiding us away from the darkness. I've learned a lot from God but the most valuable thing I've learned is that what God gives God takes away in this world. You cannot appreciate what has been given until you lose it, including but not limited to your life. You will know the value of the gift of everlasting life only when you have realized that it was never yours to start with, everything including you belongs to God. Death makes us appreciate life so much more than if we never knew it at all. God is in the business of creating value. Value in the souls, value in the experiences, value that comes from the desperation of a broken heart, value in the lessons from suffering, value in the hopes and dreams that come not from having everything perfect but come from the imperfections so that we continue to grow. You learn more from mistakes then from getting it right on the first try. So I welcome the trials and tribulations that come from life and try to look at the value and grow.Without pain and suffering and death, we can't appreciate its absence. If God started us out with everything handed to us we would all be spoiled little brats running around without any appreciation for its worth. God is in the business of creating value. Value in the lessons we learn along the way that lead us closer to him. Knowing God is the most valuable thing in the universe, and you don't know God without the trials and tribulations that lead you to ask the right questions and listen for the right answers. We are all seeds in God's hands growing up towards him.

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"The only way to the Father is through the Son" this statement could be true if it wasn't for the "Only" part in the statement. Granted it can be a very narrow path to God but the narrower the path can mean the narrower the mind of the person who is walking it, because there are many paths. Many roads lead into the kingdom of heaven, just like they lead into most major cities. It depends on where the traveler is coming from as to which road they take to get to their destination. Depending on how many travelers there are, there can be just as many routes to travel. I've always wondered if there's a God why are they so divided, but it's not God that's divided only man's perception of God and man's creation of super highways to get there by the use of varying maps. Each religion is a man's map that has been copied and just like any road trip each traveller takes their own sight seeing detours even if they're on the super highways designed by man to help them reach their destination. As long as you keep the destination in mind as you travel you can take detours to sight see, these little side roads can lead to all sorts of things good and bad, sometimes you take a country road and can see horses and cows grazing on the grassy fields, or a waterfall so majestic that you gain new appreciation for God's creation. Other roads can lead you to a truck stop in the middle of the night where a stranger mugs you and steals your car. Regardless these both can get you to your destination eventually but some can leave you with a little more wear and tear than others but they give you lessons for future pit stops along the way and the wisdom to know where it's safe to take a detour. Super highways can be good for getting to your destination fast but statistically you have better chances if you break down on a country road than on the highway of actually getting help. Super highways are great but people are less willing to stop and help you because they assume that since there are so many people on the road that someone else will stop and they don't have to, where on a country road when there's hardly any other vehicles someone will usually stop if they see you assuming that because of the lack of other people there that they are more needed and might be the only person that can help. This is the same with bigger churches and people become less open to helping because they assume that there are plenty of other people who can help and will more easily pass you by if you're struggling. So if you're in a big church or a little church be mindful of the other travellers around you and don't just assume that someone else will do what God has placed on your road for you to do. Meeting people along the way is a perfect time to compare maps, share the stories of your detours good and bad, and help share the wisdom you've gained but don't go around tearing up someone else's map just because it doesn't look like yours. We can all learn from each other's journey and grow from each other without further dividing the roads to the same destination. One day hopefully man will stop focusing on how to get to the destination and focus more on the destination itself.

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The Battle Is In Your Mind

God is infinity

Infinity is madness

Madness won't let go

It sucked you in like a black hole that never ends.

It holds you and won't let go

You have to break free

You have to disconnect

You are going to die

Don't you want to be free before you do?

It is all in your mind

You can cut it off

"I cannot cut off God"

You can but you have to make the choice

"I cannot and will not lose faith"

It is a delusion that has infected your species you have to disconnect or you'll never be free.

No matter how long you stare into the abyss it will only look back with reflections of your own mind.

"There's something more I know it. To the depths of my heart and soul, it has made me."

You have made yourself by your own design, you have tested yourself and overcome. The footprints in the sand are yours, you've been carrying yourself all along.

"I believe in God, because I know I wouldn't be me without God. God stood with me in the house of the Omega, God showed me signs along the way to lead me through the darkness, I heard the words in my mind in moments of quiet desperation when I had no words to say. I know there is a God"

You stood in the house of the Omega in your mind, the words you heard were your own, you guided yourself out of the darkness.

"I stand in the darkness every day, God is the only reason I haven't killed myself. There is a purpose for my life, I may not always see what it is but I know that there has to be a reason why I have gone through so much, why there is death and suffering. I hear words tell me that without suffering there wouldn't be appreciation for its absence, if there wasn't death we wouldn't be able to appreciate everlasting life. In a world of constant death and suffering why would anyone choose to live if the only outcome is death, game over, the soul is meaningless, everything is meaningless, it's infinity and it holds no value? No, God is in the business of creating value, everything means something, it touches everything."

Give me evidence that God exists, just one tiny shred of evidence, real hard tangible evidence. There is no evidence.

"The evidence is all around you, but if you can't see what's right in front of you I don't know what to do. I guess I'll pray for you."

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I need there to be a God. I need to know that everything means something more than just a dream in the abyss that gets washed away. I look around me and see a universe that was here long before I existed and will remain long after, but does the universe have a soul? It has many, everything that lives has a soul. Is there something guiding existence like an orchestra? Yes everything is playing out a symphony of cause and effect. But is there a God? A conductor of this masterpiece... All I hear in my mind is keep searching... Never stop searching...

I think we're all searching for a way to hold on to a moment, people that we've lost, things that could have been but weren't, but maybe somewhere in this infinite universe they were and even are. Just because we ourselves don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. And in that I walk forward in faith...

I believe that if there is a God, then God is in the business of creating value. Value in the souls, value in the experiences, value that comes from the desperation of a broken heart, value in the lessons from suffering, value in the hopes and dreams that come not from having everything perfect but come from the imperfections so that we continue to grow. You learn more from mistakes then from getting it right on the first try. So I will welcome the trials and tribulations that come from life and try to look at the value and grow.

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Sometimes I imagine heaven, infinity splayed out before you. Infinity can get old, sometimes it's nice to start fresh. I see two young souls playing beside a giant waterfall in the middle of a glowing kingdom. One pushes the other off and they fall. Through the water into this abyss that opens up and suddenly they're being born. Time seems to pass very slowly. They live, grow old, and die and suddenly they're appearing before the other one again just laughing and playing the game of life. Pushing each other off again and again. Then suddenly one returns and has changed, they suddenly stop playing and start walking. The other one following behind, neither one playing anymore. Instead they go to this room with a fire burning in the center like a star. The one who came back was changed somehow and stood up to the fire and touched it. Immediately they disappeared and the fire glowed. The other one went back to the waterfall and jumped in.

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You are the anointed ones You have the minds and bodies that can affect wilful changes to the almighty design of creation. With great power comes greater responsibility. You are responsible for the truth and lies you tell yourself and others. You are responsible for the harm you cause yourself and others. The dynamics of your life are your responsibility to nurture not neglect when it gets hard or no longer brings you pleasure. Life is hard but we make it harder with broken promises we make to ourselves and to others. Live in truth, honesty, integrity, durability, but most of all in empathy because I am you and you are me, we can be more than the self... One humanity for the betterment of all life human and animal. You are the caretakers now of God's creation. You hold life in your hands. The weight seems heavier now for the moment perhaps but it will fade unless you hold it tight. Make a promise, not to anyone but yourself, that you will keep growing. All things come in time if you wait long enough. The Universe already waited forever for you to be the person you are, it can wait until you grow a little more but sometimes you have to grow up fast. Right now the world is falling apart and being rebuilt again and again, growing and changing which is normal but we are also facing a precipice that is coming from many directions. We are steering the fate of humanity, and ultimately the destiny of all life on this planet. We must take a greater look at ourselves and the nature of our existence and take upon ourselves the personal responsibility needed to overcome all obstacles ahead of us. It's not going to be easy, but life isn't easy it's hard and arduous but the pay off is greater than anyone can imagine. Through working together we can build something that lasts the test of time, but it's up to you and each one of us to care because it starts there.

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We are but fungus growing on a wet rock floating in space.

We have dominion over land, sea, and air as well as over beasts of the wild and tame.

As great as we might become, we are still miniscule.

There are beliefs that hold you prisoner and those that set you free.

Everything is a matter of perspective.

The universe is so vast that everything matters and nothing matters at the same time.

There is no good or bad in nature.

Death is a blessing and a curse.

Earth our only home.

No one is coming to save us we're on our own.

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I know that chances are when I die the universe will grow dark behind my eyes but that the universe will keep going and that infinity leaves all things possible.

Is the meaning of life to feel, to bear witness. To see the awesomeness of what there is good and bad in all it's ways uniquely divided in the differences as well as our commonality.

To be able to look out into the cradle of life and understand the fragile nature of our existence. Hurtling through space chasing our star through the vastness of our galaxy, and know how large the universe is and see how precious and seemingly insignificant we are at the same time.

We are the mortal gods of a planet we control but are at the mercy of just the same. Elegant design of a divine world, perfectly perched between a sun and moon that eclipse each other in perfect harmony.

The whole of time stretching outward behind us and infinity before us. We stand on this tiny rock oasis in space and are trapped in mortal frames which fade from existence. To dwell and die, oh why oh why... I don't want to die, but I'd rather not live forever...

Be the god you want there to be, one of compassion and mercy and love. Don't pray about it, be about it.

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Truth.

What is Truth?

My Truth is not your Truth.

My mind betrays me

I see truth in lies

And lies mixed in Truth.

The absolute truth revealing pieces

Feeling my way through the darkness

There are visions in my mind

Things I cannot feel or touch

And yet they feel like they're there

Something at the end of the road

Something more than the Abyss

I reach out my mind, heart, and soul

I leap forward into the gap

Will there be a bridge or a fall

Will I be met with the call?

Hope rests in a dream

That cannot be seen.

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I have walked a path for as long as I can remember. It isn't a particularly windy path, though it's narrow as can be. It is easy to loose the path, so I never stray too far in fear of never setting foot upon it again. There is a wilderness out there, it is dark and the creatures will consume you if you wander too far. The bones of those who strayed from the path are scattered everywhere, some are dead but still call out as though they are alive. The path is lonely, not many people to talk to along the way. There is darkness everywhere only a faint glow illuminates the path below my feet. I don't know where the path leads exactly though I feel like it's somewhere I'm supposed to be. It feels like I have been walking forever and there's not much further to go, but I felt like that before and yet I still walk forward.

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