#hellcheers i have never gone to bat so hard for a straight ship in my life

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

thinking about how someone tried to insist to me that hellcheer was 'gross and pedophilic' because they had 'a huge age gap' and i thought it was the stupidest shit i'd ever heard so-

in true Extra Ass Bitch fashion i calculated roughly what the oldest/ youngest possible ages chrissy could be and the oldest/youngest possible ages eddie could be based on canon evidence (eddie's 2 failed years, chrissy's '86 necklace, etc.) and approximate school cut off dates

anyway, this is a rough approximation (not that it particularly matters because they're both still in the same age range/stage of life so a few years isn't rly much of an issue given their canon interactions) but if anyone was curious:

eddie should have been born in '65 or '66. backwards calculation places chrissy either late '67 or early '68. eddie failed his senior year twice and was supposed to have graduated in '84, he's on his third try. chrissy is head cheerleader and wears an '86 necklace, she's a senior in '86.

the youngest Chrissy could be is about [17yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '68

the oldest Chrissy could be is about [18yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday of around September of '67

the youngest Eddie could be is about [19yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '66

the oldest Eddie could be is about [20yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday in September of '65

even in the 'worst case scenario' where eddie is the oldest he could be and chrissy is the youngest she could be, eddie is 20 and chrissy almost 18

if you go with the opposite, with chrissy being as old as possible and eddie as young as possible, then eddie is almost 20 and chrissy is over 18

the other combinations average out to a 2 year age gap, which for the record, for high schoolers is still incredibly common. again, this is a stupid argument, but i can be spitefully pedantic sometimes and i enjoy having all the possible information i can before i talk shit

and i love to talk shit. so i went to go get the data myself

anyway grace van dien once said that she thinks chrissy is a pisces and i trust her so assuming that's true then chrissy was born sometime between mid february to mid march of '66, meaning chrissy would haven just turned 18 as s4 began, while eddie is still in the 19 to 20 range depending on when you place his birthday

but all of this seems ridiculous when you realize that based on what school year they're in during s4, chrissy was a sophomore the first time eddie was a senior. so like. everything else is just being pedantic for the sake of finding smth to be mad about

either way i rest my case this is a dumb argument to use against the ship, hellcheer haters get bent just say you don't ship it and go