#helluva mocktail

[botanikos]

⭐️ Paradise & Stars, or whatever you want to call it — a Vassago themed mocktail!

Ingredients:

☆ Mongo Mango juice

☆ blood orange-guava barmalade

☆ pomegranate grenadine

☆ s. pellegrino sparkling water

☆ edible gold glitter

☆ starfruit for garnish

[softpawpup]

— caregiver ! queen bee from helluva boss headcannons !! ( request from anon )

🐝 loves taking you on days out, especially to any fairs or festivals that are going on, she spoils you and pays for all the games and snacks

👑 she thinks its cute when you giggle while running your hands through her blobby hair and tail

🍯 makes you lots of honey themed snacks

🐝 teaches you that bugs can be scary sometimes but they don't want to hurt you, they're scared of you too

👑 loves tie-dying things with you

🍯 makes you the cutest, most fun little mocktails

🐝 lets you get messy and then takes bubble baths with you after

👑 has lots of fancy soaps and shampoos and stuff for kiddos with sensitive skin or different hair types

🍯 flies around while she rocks you to sleep

🐝 likes making slime with you and doing other home diys

[lovedinapastlife]

3x11 “The Red Dahlia” - Riverdale Reaction

Somebody ought to go in these handcuffs, and I happen to think it should be whoever approved this episode.

Let’s be clear...even if this episode was filmed in black and white, it probably still would have been the garbled, sleep-deprived ramblings of writing room edits as opposed to a compelling narrative about dames with dubious intentions and secrets to kill for. For me, at least.

I love how Betty still judges the hell outta Hal for his malevolent appreciation of a woman with a body count.

Archie “the Hulk” Andrews. Nobody likes him when he’s angry. This poor overseer even has to fight with people about TAKING A BREAK. Eat a sandwich, Archie! Maybe you’re hangry on top of needing therapy.

Veronica calling out the temporary fabulous gesture of flowers from Elio and demanding precious jewels. Pretty RICH, considering she got Bettykins flowers and cupcakes in s1e1. That is growth. Maybe.

“We all had problems, and a helluva good-looking one was about to walk through my door.” Anyone else expecting a Pop’s delivery?

I had to sigh. I know, I know it’s just the poor attempt at Noir language, but Jughead mocks her hat like two seconds later and I’m sure certain shippers were squeeing as I squinted at the general tolerance these two have for each other. He likes the $ and opportunity to play detective with Nancy Drew. V likes results. That’s it. Business partners. Woo.

Go, Fred! You PARENT your child! Aaaaand there he goes to take shots at a speakeasy. Well. You tried.

Is Thornhill big enough to have its own funeral parlor AND cemetery? Just makes it easier to hide the murder victims and suicides, I guess! This is at LEAST the second wake-ish thing they’ve hosted here. Weird family. Sorry you’re related, Betty.

Not sure why Cheryl is SO offended by the insinuation that her prostitute/murderer/sent-her-to-conversion-camp mom is dangerous. I thought Penelope was kicked out anyway? Nana Rose is my new favorite Blossom murderer for the weird line implying that she finds pretending to cry over her son/a man is a waste of time.

Did they seriously make cutoff vests with the Serpents insignia for the “TOO-WARM-TO-MOVE-A-BODY” weather, and yet dress Jughead in a SHERPA JACKET? I know he’s an “outsider,” but COME ON.

“MOBSPLAIN” - only on this show. Also, the line about it being “unrealistic” made me laugh. This show is such a cheeky bastard. Love watching V make grown men stand up straighter.

SMITHERS! Didn’t even recognize him at first. This kinda works? But I’m confused. Is V just...doing the shakedowns now? And she doesn’t see the issue with that? Got kinda creepy Daddy Issue vibes when she smiled at Reggie and called him Man in Black. I know WHY she did and it probably wasn’t meant to be creepy, I just FELT it, okay?

THEY’RE SO SOFT I’M GONNA DIE! The little back-rub? The cutie heart-eyes? I’m dying. But the writing was silly here, because Betty is all ABOUT investigating, and would totally help Jughead break in and have his back for sleuthing shenanigans with plenty of time for her thing. Also Betty seemed bemused/unimpressed at discovering the super over-the-top Maple Sex Club (THIS SHOW) whereas Jughead seemed totally unaffected. They have a more impressive setup at home, I presume.

Josie shoving Archie in a cold shower and telling him to sort his shenanigans was probably the most fun thing she’s ever done. And she wears cat ears and fancy outfits on the regular, so that’s saying something. Also, don’t they only serve mocktails at the speakeasy? Or am I not supposed to remember that?

Honestly? Most of this episode from about halfway on gets...expositional and boring and just a bunch of blackmail stalemates that do not further character, plot, relationships, nor aesthetic. Boo. Booooo! Unsatisfying stalemates don’t get better as a plot device because you acknowledge them at the end! Even Jughead’s narration was a hard cringe.

Like, did anyone think Kelly Ripa was gonna shoot Jughead? Or that he would be obnoxious enough to juggle the egg super awkwardly instead of getting ready to smash the thing as a threat? Just...no interesting conflict. Nor resolution. These actors could’ve used better staging and script, and honestly even the cinematography was unimpressive with a few exceptions (Archie’s shadow-pan to aiming the gun at the hooded man was one).

Jughead keeps shoving all his money into other people’s hands in bribery and I find that extremely problematic for many reasons. As was Betty’s later monologue about “black and white” morality with Hal. Sigh.

Minetta was alive? Who was dismembered then? Random goon #42? Is being a mayor in Riverdale just a cover for f***ing the Sheriff?

DOUBLE-TAP, MAN. Or headshot! FP’s been around this stuff enough where he should’ve gotten this right! After that whole “I’m not a killer” speech to Jughead back in season one, I just kind of rolled my eyes during this scene and went, “Sure.”

Aw, people keep trying to beat Archie to the punch...and the shot! (HA. The puns...I digress). The “atmosphere-building” monologue beforehand and lying to V indicates he might be on the path...to VILLAINY! (again) But maybe now he has some Black Hood closure. Some.

“Thank goodness it’s over” -- me, about this episode. Love the contrast of Hermione’s flimsy white trench coat though. Is Falice still a thing? Or was the one scene for fan service and now their duty is done?

Veronica: And Archie...if you ever need a friend...to talk to...

GET ON ANOTHER SHOW, because this episode only has time for dastardly plots and random sex scandals! (although I will accept a spinoff Bughead romantic detective show ANY TIME now) I realize everyone has their own agenda, but come on. Throw us a milkshake, here. At least Hiram will stop trying to kill the poor teenager. Archie, to be clear. Jughead is probably still on the table.

They literally had to write “In case you’d forgotten” in Jughead’s narration before returning to a scene. Wow. The narrative.

Ugh. Hermione. That cleanup is going to be a MESS. Shoulda shot him in the shower.

This is the second time Jughead’s been in the awkward position of his dad shooting a classmate’s dad. Oh well. “It’s Riverdale.”

That Bughead sex scene teased in the next episode better be good after this week’s shenanigans.