#help i've grown too attached to the nuances of this world

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i’m having sort of a hard time with this season of ted lasso specifically AS the last season. if this was just a new season and we could anticipate a fourth season after it that would feel more ‘this is the end!’, i’d be fine and have more patience, but the countdown clock of “oh god, there are only this many episodes left and i don’t get why we’re doing all this” is really making me melancholy. the thing that makes me the absolute saddest is roy and keeley being parted in a way where it’s becoming increasingly clear that we won’t get to see them chill and happy together as a couple again because there just isn’t time (esp. with jamie seeming to potentially be in the mix for her romantically again). but i feel weird and sad about so many things. there are some shows where the final season has really felt like a final season to me in a really emotionally resonant way, and i gotta say, so far this season isn’t doing that for me at all. (and i kinda expected better from this show since its whole thing is feelings and they’ve had the whole story plotted out from the beginning!!) it really feels like another mid-series season to me instead of THE END.

this is just how i feel about it personally, so obviously other people are watching and having a totally different experience. and i don’t even know how to fully articulate what my problem is. but something about the pacing this season and what the show chooses to focus on has just got me feeling so WEIRD and at sea!

oh my goddddd, only four episodes left, helpppppppppp D:

[kaelyx-zac01]

I've seen a lot of Aziraphale hate after the S2 finale -- furious that he chose Heaven over Crowley -- which is TERRIBLY ANNOYING because a lot of people seem to miss the events that led up to the tragic finalé.

Because, let's get one thing straight: Aziraphale was only excited to go to Heaven upon knowing he could be with Crowley there.

Aziraphale literally outright rejects the Megatron's request almost immediately. He didn't want to go to heaven. He loved Earth. He has come to enjoy the delights that our world offers. "Where will I get my coffee?" perfectly exemplified that Aziraphale has grown attached to our world and the life, the home he and Crowley had built for themselves. It is only when the Metatron brought up the idea that Crowley and him could be angels together that Aziraphale accepts the offer.

And let's not forget that, the scene before that, Aziraphale was THREATENED to be erased from the Book of Life by Michael. Metatron came in like a saving grace and presented him with an opportunity to escape that threat, to possibly change things, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, have Crowley with him safely as well.

Did people not see how DESPERATE Aziraphale was to make Crowley come with him? He literally breaks down as he says "I need you." Because HE DOES NEED CROWLEY. He literally reconsiders his decision after Crowley's rejection. Crowley wouldn't be with him anymore. And, he is the one he wants to bring with him to Heaven, more than any book or object in his life. Their home isn't the earthly life they built --- it's each other. And in Aziraphale's eyes, Heaven will only be home if Crowley's with him.

Lastly, Aziraphale is literally an angel at heart. He still likes to do good deeds despite not having to. He likes telling about these deeds to other people, particularly Crowley after they retired from their respective divisions. More importantly, Aziraphale is a believer in the fundamental good in all people and beings. Which is not naivety. I think after the Apocalypse incident, Aziraphale isn't limited anymore by duty to see things as black and white anymore. But, of course, he still believes in doing good. And I think most importantly, he still believes that Heaven should represent what it ought to.

That's where his similarities end with Crowley. While Crowley is too disillusioned with the system to think of the possibility of change, Aziraphale isn't. And as someone who also saw the errors in the system, Aziraphale was hoping Crowley would be happy to help him change that. This time, he wouldn't live in fear of falling as a demon again. This time, Crowley's suggestions wouldn't be a cause for worry. Aziraphale will always welcome them as his second-in-command. And most importantly, the threat of the Book of Life will be kept far from both of them. Which goes to show that Aziraphale wasn't wrong to choose Heaven. And sorry, but I don't think he deserves to do an apology dance either.

Honestly, I get why people don't see Aziraphale's side that much. The first time I watched S2E6, I was slightly hoping Aziraphale would change his mind and miraculously appear in Crowley's car. Nevertheless, hating on Aziraphale just shows how much of the ending's nuance flew over these people's head. Did the ending hurt? Like hell, of course. But, would I want it to end in any other way? Fuck no. Let these two idiots pine for one another. Let longing break their masks and allow their characters and their relationship to mature and develop. I'm sure that whatever Neil has for us in S3 will make all the angst ever so worth it

[meimi-haneoka]

Thanks so much for answering my asks! It's an interesting point you brought up about Yukito reverting back to his original self. So now I'm just wondering to what extent, Kaito rewrote the world. Like Touya can still use time magic, though I suppose that's more of an innate skill rather than magic that he got from somewhere. And like you said, Ruby and Spinel are still in Tomoeda even though their original "reason" for coming is no longer valid in the rewritten world. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on this if you have any insights!

For Akiho and Kaito, how do you think their relationship dynamics will change now that they decided to continue their travels? Now that they are both free to do what they truly want. Plus, we've seen Akiho's more assertive side too in the recent few chapters. I feel like Akiho might start calling the shots more now, and Kaito agreeing to her every request (more so than before 🤣) As the both of them continue to grow and heal together, I feel that there's alot of potential for future short chapters (hopefully!!) To show different areas of their lives. Both of them have really grown on me! Truly wish for them to have the happiness they did not have before, and live the life they want. TOGETHER. I'm not on tumblr much so I don't see firsthand the hate they get, and to be honest, at the start of the serialization I was abit hesitant about trusting Kaito too, given that I was already attached to Sakura and he seemed to be manipulating both the girls (especially how he was portrayed in the EN translation and the anime). But again, along the way, after seeing more and more of how he treated Akiho, and seeing his motivations and reason for doing it (your translation posts helped alot with that too), I've definitely softened alot towards him. It's sad that some people still can't see that. 😕

Hello again! Today I feel a bit better so I'm going to answer this ask ❤️

So now I'm just wondering to what extent, Kaito rewrote the world. Like Touya can still use time magic, though I suppose that's more of an innate skill rather than magic that he got from somewhere.

From what we know, Kaito rewrote everything connected to his existence and to the existence of the Clear Cards...since Yukito made that pact with the Shrine in consequence of the situation that arised with the Cards, that had to go too. It's like Kaito wrote a giant "you won't have to worry over anything" in his script. Yes, I think Touya's powers stayed because they're innate.

And like you said, Ruby and Spinel are still in Tomoeda even though their original "reason" for coming is no longer valid in the rewritten world.

Yes, in fact in the rewritten world Kero mentions they came "for visiting"! 😅That damn Kaito really thought of everything....

For Akiho and Kaito, how do you think their relationship dynamics will change now that they decided to continue their travels?

Here comes this stupid blog owner's squeal whenever she has to answer to a question about Kaito and Akiho 😂

Ohohoh, their relationship is going to keep evolving a lot, from how I see it. Like, if for SyaoSaku I can see a more quiet, peaceful type of development typical of school sweethearts in the next years, for YunaAki I see a more nuanced evolvement. Because they're not SyaoSaku, they have different personalities, different backgrounds, different traumas in their baggages that they have to heal from, a difference in age... There's so much to work with, if sensei really wanted to write a spin-off about them...

Like. Akiho does have undoubtedly lots in common with Sakura, but she also got quite a different personality. She's been mad at Kaito for more than a month, and who knows how long she'll be. OF COURSE he made a big mess (and I'm not joking, this represented a tear in their relationship and they'll have to mend it with patience), so it's totally normal, but for example I don't think Sakura would've been mad at Syaoran for this long.

The assertiveness you detected from Akiho in the last chapters, has actually been going on for long time. In chapter 48, she found the courage to make a love confession, even if in a covert way.

In chapter 52, she insisted 3 times with Kaito to know if he was feeling ill or not. When she saw he insisted in covering it up, she tried to tell him very clearly that she was there for him, young and inexperienced as she was, but that he didn't have to face all of this alone. He ran away and shut a door in her face.

In chapter 53, after such a disgraceful behavior from Kaito, one that would've made any girl cry and backtrack in defeat (always remember why he did it, though...), what did this girl do? Arranged an entire date without telling him anything and literally dragged him out with a "we're going out today", NO BUTS! Akiho had learned in chapter 52 that "asking" doesn't get any result from Kaito, if she wants something from him (and in that case she wanted him to have some relaxing time), she has to take it by force 😅just like Momo cheered her on! 😂

Chapter 57, following what she learned, she "ordered" him to rest, "using" her role as master (and he's the "butler") because she knows that's the only way he'll listen.

Chapter 58, once again, when Kaito started talking in a derogative manner about himself, Akiho's nerves were put to test once again, and so she rose up the couch and in a quite "irritated" manner she expressed her frustration at his behavior.

Akiho's assertiveness with Kaito has gradually but steadily progressed from halfway the story and it's been an amazing journey to watch, from here. I almost feel pity for those who never realized it, because they truly missed something good. It's good to watch a girl find her identity and her voice. As I always say, Akiho flourishes thanks to Kaito and her feelings for him, turning into the best version of herself. This process had its culmination in chapter 78, where Akiho went full out in expressing her feelings on the matter. Akiho is just perfect for Kaito. Because that's what Kaito needs, he's an incredibly stubborn person (CLAMP said so themselves) so he needs someone strong enough to hold the reins and not be knocked down by his bullsh*t. Not everyone can handle Kaito, and he won't let just anyone get "access" to him in that way. Akiho IS strong enough to handle him, she already can now that she's 13, it'll only get better the more she grows up.

Being the balanced half of the pair, Akiho won't only demand from Kaito, of course she'll also encourage him to heal and to find his true worth, something he wants to do for himself. Because we all know that the MAJOR problem that brought to the big mess that happened in Clear Card was his self-loathing, in the first place.

I picture Kaito being always the same oblivious dork even when they'll grow up, while Akiho will surprisingly be the more "flirty" one 😂you would never expect it from her, since she's also very sweet...but she's got scars of her own she needs to heal from, and Kaito will help her with that too, a lot.

As he learned the hard way from this painful experience, Kaito will start to trust that he's not alone and there's really someone out there who loves him, and that he doesn't need to take all the burden of things alone. That what he can do, to make his loved one happy, is to start loving himself more, first and foremost.

They have a strong vibe of "completing" eachother, and it's telling that they've spent the first part of their life together with Kaito trying to find a way to "heal" Akiho, and now they'll be travelling to find a way to heal Kaito.... They might be broken people, but when they put together the pieces of their jagged hearts, something gentle is born, as Aimer said in her "Hana no Uta" song (one of the first songs I've ever associated with YunaAki).

...Yeah, it's like I could already picture all of this, exactly in this way, already halfway through the story, that's why I started to like them so much and hoping in a happy ending for them. I saw all the signs, and they all paid off, because CLAMP were quite transparent in what they wanted to portray.

Of course before then, I was wary of Kaito too, just like you. Especially in the beginning, if you read back my old posts of 2017/2018 you can get all the evidences....but that was part of the game because that's exactly how CLAMP wanted us to feel. I played their game and I'm happy about what I won. 😊

...still, I hope they're going to find Momo soon 😂

[prowerprojects]

(Modern Tails anon) Considering there's apparently financial troubles going on with IDW, one has to wonder if the comic lives long enough to see that story one day.

Heh, the funny thing is, he could technically do those things too. Maybe not as well, but a kid fox genius running around with a flamethrower he built being alongside Blaze has to invoke some type of interesting imagery. Same with a stealth mission with Rouge.

I figured, especially with Sonic is one the earliest examples of seeing a video game character having a clear personality. (At least those Origins cutscenes added something more upfront; albeit very late for this decades-long series. But something to refer back to nonetheless.)

I think I've seen that somewhere. The most I know of Tails himself in that continuity is that he and other foxes are from some secret zone and he has grown the title of hero in that village through rather clumsy, but well-meaning antics. Albeit through lying at first.

(Yup, AOSTH Tails even turned an entire truck into a mechanical dragon and handled himself while Sonic was frozen in stone. The most SatAM did was that one episode near the end. I still wonder if the plans for season 3 had gone through, would Tails be looked at a bit differently depending on how it went since his role was supposed to expand greatly.)

Hmm, it's going to depend on how these next set of episodes go. Seeing the other Tailses will likely strike a chord in Nine; but that doesn't fully mean villain arc. Existential crisis, maybe. I expect him more to tap into something hidden within him he didn't notice before. (Probably doesn't help that outside of Sonic and Shadow, we don't know the Prime versions of the characters that well; not great if you don't have at least basic knowledge on Sonic. If Tails did show some "Nine" traits during his early days with Sonic; specifically the trusting and friends part, I think there'd be a fairer grasp of why Tails didn't end up like Nine and why Nine is slowly resembling the original Tails. This applies to the other counterparts too, not just his alone.) Heh, never doubt the power of a fandom has when they catch the slightest bit of angst fuel from any character. And missing the nuances that come with grey/neutral characters. (Trust me, I'd love to see Tails let loose some raw, unbridled emotion that could have you think about his morality or sense of justice, but in the right context. Something I don't see Prime fully committing to, whether they DO go through with it.)

Two intelligent scientific minds, separated by different upbringings and how they apply their emotions to their logic, but still learning about how the world works and defy said logic through personal experience. All while seeking approval and praise. Lots of potential there.

There was another Sonic Channel story last year that basically said the same thing about their bond. One being "they have something that goes beyond trust", that "they know what the other needs without having to speak". (Also, their dynamic breaks some the typical tropes you see with 'hero-sidekick'. Like, the latter has the base of operations, not the former. Also, it is not funny and wholesome that Sonic considers this baby fox that attached himself to a younger him the biggest source help he could have ever hope for?)

Honestly I'm not very knowledgeable on how this whole deal works, so I won't say anything on the matter. I wonder if we could get a Sonic webtoon? I know DC comics and Archie both have at least one. Of course, both of them are of questionable quality, but who knows, maybe we'll luck out!

Haha, that's true! Personally I don't really care for him being a kitsune spirit, but I've been thinking of an idea where he replicates their abilities with his tech to make someone else believe he is one.

Yep, Fleetway Tails is from the Nameless Zone which is kind of like old-timey alternative dimension with magic and goblins and stuff. He was kind of loser there, so he moved to Mobius hoping he'd make a name for himself, but he was still a loser there too. But he was too embarrassed and wrote to his family that he became a hero. In the early StC, the writers weren't kind to Tails. He usually just messed things up or got captured (you could kinda understand Sonic's frustration with him, though he could stand to be nicer), and if he did manage to save the day, it was due to sheer luck. He got better though, especially after Sonic got stuck in another dimension. (After he came back, the Freedom Fighters kind of went their separate ways, but S&T often had adventures together as a duo. They both kinda grew up, Tails became more competent and stopped caring as much about impressing people (including Sonic), and Sonic mellowed out and stopped being as harsh on him. They became a better team! I have a soft spot for the stc!Unbreakable Bond, you just kind of have to take into account the specifics of the writing of stc as a whole, I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea.)

(I... have mixed feelings on satam, but mostly I just can't finish watching it. It feels like a drag. Not something I would be watching if it wasn't Sonic-related. Not gonna comment on the quality of it, because there are some other shows I felt similarly about and they're super critically acclaimed, like atla. (If Tails was more prominent I mind have at least been watching for his sake) I promised a friend I would read Archie and I wanted to watch satam first, but it looks like at this point I'll just have to skip to the comics.)

I really want to see different counterparts interacting. I'm kind of with Shadow on this situation, try as I may I don't really see them as separate people, I'm more interested in what they could say about the Prime versions of the characters. But it would be more effective if we spent more time with the Prime versions in the first place. I'm hoping for more flashbacks tbh. (Plus I just love how the og models for the characters look without the Shatterverse clothes)

Oh yeah I remember that one! Man I love how Sonic Channel hypes up their bond. I hope we'll get to see more of this in the next games. Sonic really lucked out (and so did Tails of course!)

[omgitsemilyward]

hey, yours is one of the best/most reasonable reactions I've seen to the interview. the harsh judgement on his new relationship/ pregnancy was very upsetting for me to read, as if they were a betrayal to what people knew him as? I wish more people grasped we don't know these people. we don't know why they make the decisions they do. the whole thing had me thinking on the 'parasocial' relationships people form with celebs really.

anyway, I'm just so glad he got help when he needed it most, and that it seems like he has very good friends who care about him. I hope he continues to be well. your post on it gave me a good opportunity to sort my feelings over it :)

Hi there - thanks for this message. I’ve already gotten some interesting messages about this and I like this one best and so I’m going to use this as an opportunity to share my (relatively) meaningless thoughts on all this, and this is probably going to be the only post I make about this so… here we go

I’ve purposefully not been making posts about this stuff for a number of reasons, but primarily because I think a lot of people have presumed to know exactly what happened between him, his wife, and Olivia based on a feeble timeline that people have tried to piece together based on random entertainment press reports and stuff. I think there is an incredible amount of information we simply don’t know because we do not know any of them personally, and so I’ve never felt very comfortable saying anything about it. I’m definitely not saying anyone is in the right or in the wrong here either bc, once again, how can we say when we don’t know almost anything?

plus - who am I to even have an opinion on these people I don’t know? I should probably just leave this post right here, because that’s really my entire thesis with this.

(but I, like the person who sent me this nice message, kinda want to use this as an opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings)

I think a lot of us (myself definitely included - anyone who has followed me for a long time knows this) put him and Anna on a pedestal based on all we knew about them, which was very, very little. So as soon as there was the smallest amount of information that things weren’t as perfect as they seemed, people took it almost personally - that they didn’t match the image they had latched onto -, and then made a lot of assumptions and a lot of judgment about what happened; again, based on the tiniest amount of information. Plus, I do think the internet amplifies these things in a weird way that does away with a lot of nuance and goes to straight to classifying things as a binary: “this person is a perfect cinnamon roll who can do nothing wrong” or “this person is absolute garbage trash” - the thing we all forget though, is that human beings do not exist on some moral binary for the most part.

(Also here I am, talking about this on the internet…. anyways)

I spent a lot of my years on this specific website being uncomfortably attached to John and Anna and their relationship, and it’s not something I’m particularly proud of. I don’t say I completely regret being such a huge fan of his, hers, theirs (for one thing, it kinda got me my job, but that’s another story for another time), but looking back on it I wish I had not been so invested in the relationship of people I didn’t know. It was really weird and without my own personal life experience, I might have also immediately jumped to a lot of judgment about why or how their relationship ended. But between now and then I’ve grown a lot as a person and I know that people, especially public figures, often live much more complicated lives than what they present to the world. And people get divorced allllll the fucking time for allllll sorts of reasons.

Maybe it’s the child of many divorces in me, but I’ve been honestly pretty shocked by how little grace people are giving them. Maybe it’s also the fact that I’ve been such a big fan of each of these people (including Olivia) for so much of my life that I’m quick to be defensive (? Idk if that’s the right word) of all of them before anything.

At the end of the day, I guess I’m just disappointed that there is even “discourse” about this to begin with - not surprised by any means, but just disappointed. And disappointed about how quick people have been to judge, or how people are try to equate this to things that are not at all equivalent.

the most important thing to me out of all of this is that John is on a path to recovery. I’ve dealt with some addiction stuff with some of my family that I’m not going to get into on here but it is hard and at times a little terrifying and I’m just so relieved that he seems to have a really good support system. That’s the thing I’ve been most concerned about since the news broke that he relapsed and was going into rehab - I’m grateful that he was able to get help because not everyone does or not everyone will before it becomes too late to do so.