#help this is so funny wkejfbwejkfb

[beanghostprincess]

How funny would it be if there were rumors around the Cross Guild that Someone Is A Vampire.

Someone visiting for one thing or another catches a glimpse of a person in the dead if night sneaking our of the medical tent with a bag of blood. There are no alarms going off, no sign of their presence beyond a brief moment of Sighting Them, a soft growl, and then the person vanishing into the darkness.

The rumors spread across the Seas. Cross Guild has a Vampire. It's embellished and it grows more and more as the story is told. Eventually someone asks a member if the Guild, "do you have a vampire?" And the mercenary hesitates, pales slightly. "... He is more than that." That's all he'll say on the matter. The way he reacted, the way he seemed almost afraid, it makes people think and wonder.

A Vampire! And in this marine hunting organization? To be so powerful, he must be very strong! In a ... a position of power....

They look at the posters.

Mihawk is the first to be suspected. He hits almost every cliche. Pale? Goth? Drinks "red wine" all the time? Weird? Piercing eyes? Never smiles? Oh Absolutely It All Makes Sense.

There are some who suspect Crocodile. He has that Vibe, they say, ya know the one. It wouldn't be surprising, that's all they're saying.

Meanwhile nobody looks twice at the clown. He's an Emperor, some think idly, if he were a vampire, the world would know by now.

Shanks is giggling, twirling his hair, kicking his feet across the grandline at this point bc He Knows The Truth.

Buggy is a paramecia type devil fruit user - it effects the body and it's derived from the abilities of a Devil. Typically, they are considered the weaker forms of Devil Fruits bc they rarely awaken or offer further abilities. Buggy is, was, and always will be a special case.

To any knowledge, Buggy is the last of his kind. Crocus had his work cut out for him when trying to get a baseline for Buggy's health when he joined if only because so many things were Off or outright Not There or There When There Shouldn't Be. It was impossible to tell what was Devil Fruit vs Biology. So when Buggy began getting sick, losing weight, growing lethargic, it was a frenzy to find answers.

The solution presented itself in typical Whoopsies How Did That Happen fashion - Shanks got so mad about not being able to help, being scared for his best friend, his Buggy, that he punched a wall - tore his knuckles up. He hissed, shook his hand out, hopping around because ow ow ow fuck shit ow-

And then Buggy was staring.

Shanks, more distracted by Buggy being AWAKE, simply lunged for his friend, and was a little surprised when Buggy didn't push him away or hiss or scream - just took his hand, staring. "Oh," he chuckled awkwardly. "Don't mind that, just me being an idiot, ahah... hah... b-bugs?"

Buggy licks his hand.

Shanks is perturbed.

Crocus runs a few more experiments.

Okay yeah Buggy's a vampire. Cool. Good to know. Why? Not sure, but damn if it isn't something, huh?

Anyway, Cross Guild but the two goths have vampire allegations thrown their way every day, meanwhile their ACTUAL vampire boyfriend is loudly complaining that his polka dot thigh high are missing, oh where is his green scrunchy, honey have you seen his hot pink shorts or his rainbow glitter eyeshadow palette-?

This is hilarious and probably the best thing I've seen today I-- I love this. But ngl, I find this so good for so many Shuggy/Cross Guild concepts with Buggy as a vampire and drinking their blood 🙏🏻 Let them make out because the other three are extremely fucked in the head. It'd be great if Buggy treated being a Vampire so casually while the three of them are down bad for him drinking their blood or smth.