#hey guys here's your disabled cleo crumbs for the day while we work on several other multichapters

[syn4k]

"Cleo," said Joe, knocking on her door. (It was 4 in the morning.)

"Fuck off," called Cleo from her bed indoors, which was her usual friendly greeting whenever she didn't want to answer the door.

"I have a gift," said Joe, who was well used to this so-called greeting, having experienced it several times before. "Open up."

"It can wait," she yelled, voice cracking and hoarse. God. Why couldn't Joe just come at some better time, like in three hours when the sun was actually up?

"It can't," he said. "I'm going to open up a picket line outside your fence and play loud music until you open up."

Cleo sighed and hopped out of bed, hobbling to the door. (Her leg had come dangerously loose again. She's have to stitch that up later. Her hand was about to fall off of her wrist, too, which was another thing- hot glue worked for that, she supposed.)

"What," she demanded, opening the door to give her friend a whole tired angry tirade about correct calling times and stopped short.

"I said it couldn't wait," said Joe with a grin, holding up a cane. "We made this for you."

"We?"

"Hello," said Jevin from his spot behind Joe, waving. "X and Hypno are also here. Wels threatened to stab us all if we came in to visit."

"And you listened to him, and not me," said Cleo, deadpan. "Listen, this is a nice gift, but-"

"This is Hermits Helping Hermits," said Joe. "And we were all talking and we decided that maybe you could use a bit of help getting along sometimes, like everyone does!"

"I don't," said Cleo icily. She could feel her hackles raising already. This morning just kept getting worse, and the sun hadn't even rose yet. How dare they assume that she couldn't manage just as well as the rest of them? She made it a point of pride to keep up with the rest of the Hermits without any outside help. A cane, of all things? What did they think she was, an old lady?

"Cleo, listen," said Xisuma, expression unreadable behind that frosted visor of his. "I know exactly what you're thinking, but we're not giving this to you because we think of you as less. This is a gift, to help you get along better."

"Yeah," added Hypno. "You know Etho's knee took a major update pretty badly a while back, and now he's pretty much allergic to all of them and out of commission."

"Well, of course, but that's a big thing," says Cleo. "He's bedridden for days at a time. If anybody needs this cane, it's Etho. Not me."

"And you're not, when your leg falls off in the middle of a walk and you don't have your sewing kit on hand?" asked Joe. "When you call me at two in the morning because your hand fell off and you need to superglue it back on to your wrist?"

"I'm about to freeze into jelly," said Jevin. "Can we please come in?"

Cleo was speechless, but she nodded roughly and stepped backwards to let everyone in. Joe flicked on the lights in the living room, toting the cane.

"And for the record, none of us are happy about waking up at this hour either," said Xisuma, not unkindly. "Joe was up all night carving this. He wanted to get it delivered as soon as possible."

"You're all idiots," announced Cleo, her words back. "The lot of you."

"Good to hear your opinion of us hasn't changed," said Joe cheerfully from the kitchen. "I'd be worried if your first reaction to all of this wasn't to declare that you'd had intercourse with all of our parents."

"Well, that too," said Cleo, holding her bad leg up by one hand and going to sit next to Jevin on the couch, which was leather for this exact reason. It was expensive, but so much better than having to wipe blood and slime off of suede, God forbid.

"So, how long did you spend on this?" she asked, picking up the cane propped up against the couch, grudgingly impressed. For something supposedly hand-carved, it was smooth and supple, steady enough to hit someone on the head with and handle the weight of someone leaning on it.

"Can I test it?" she asked.

"Go ahead," said Joe from the kitchen, not turning around. Cleo nodded once and, quick as a whip, whacked the top of Xisuma's helmet with the cane as hard as she could. The cane did not so much as crack, although there was a dent in it as well as the helmet.

"Hey," said Xisuma. "What was that for?"

"Joe said I could test it," said Cleo with an innocent-ish grin.

"I did," said Joe. He walked into the living room, munching on a granola bar. "Now, let's see here. The cane is supposed to rest at your wrist when you're standing up-" he helped her stand up, checked the height, nodded, "-so that you can use it for support and balance without messing up your shoulder. When you're walking, lead with your bad leg. This means-" he took the cane from her right hand and put it into her left, the same side as her dangerously wobbling leg "-you use the cane instead of that leg to propel yourself forwards. Try it."

"How do you know this much about this?" asked Cleo, trying it out. It was awkward, and the cane wobbled dangerously under her shaky wrist, but indeed, she could get around much better than if she had normally.

Joe shrugged. "I did a lot of research. Now, to honor your wishes, I'll be back this time tomorrow to teach you how to use this better. Come on, everyone." He went towards the door, the rest of the HHH crew following.

"Wait," she yelled after them. "What do you mean, this time tomorrow? Joe Hills, if you so much as set a single beard hair inside of this house tomorrow, I swear to God-"

The door clicked shut. Cleo sighed, went to turn the lights off, and hobbled back to bed, putting the cane in the floor and drew the covers back over themself with a sigh.

"Idiots," she muttered. "Absolute fucking idiots. All of them." But she couldn't stop themself from smiling, just a bit.