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Hey have a Matt X reader request.

Matt smells the reader is sick, at the doctor comes out that she has cancer Matt takes care of her and when the first hair falls out he shaves off his beautiful hair to stand by her.

Got the diagnosis 3 years ago and now the cancer is back.

Would be happy if you accept the request.

hi my darling,

thank you so much for trusting me with this request. I really hope I did you justice, and that this is what you were looking for. I also sincerely hope you're doing well and feeling good day. sending you so much love & light. 💘

warning: mentions of sickness, a lil angst, light swearing, mainly fluff & comfort word count: 2.6k

in sickness & in health.

Even though he knew it wasn’t actually his fault, Matt couldn’t stop the guilt that flooded through his veins when you got the diagnosis. He had been the one to tell you that you should go to the doctor. There was something off inside your body, and he could smell the scent of sickness that started to linger in your blood. That, and you also hadn’t been feeling well lately. Matt wouldn’t let it go, and you couldn’t compete with his stubbornness, but as that one word was uttered in the doctor’s office, his entire world came crashing down. 

Cancer.

The blood immediately drained from Matt’s face as that one simple word cut through the silence of the office, and the terrified rhythm of your heartbeat thrashed loudly in his ears. He clenched his jaw to keep his bottom lip from trembling, steadying his own emotions as he reached for your quivering hand, gripping onto it tightly as a silent affirmation of ‘I’m here’. The doctor assured both of you that since it had been caught so early, treatment would be effective to send it into remission, and her steady heartbeat allowed Matt to breathe a little easier that she was telling the truth, not granting false hope with a sympathetic tone. 

Still, he felt guilty.

And that guilt only spread when you started chemotherapy. The scent of the chemicals that were being pumped into your body made Matt’s stomach churn, and the scent was almost unbearable, but he refused to leave you alone. He held your hand the entire time, making sure to bring your favorite blanket and a pair of fuzzy slippers to keep you warm and comfortable. He brought books to read to you, but oftentimes you requested to hear him work on his opening and closing arguments, helping him tweak them to perfection. It helped you both take your mind off of why you were at the hospital, and actually helped Matt improve his delivery in the courtroom. 

Foggy and Karen even joined the two of you most days. Karen read you the rough drafts of her latest articles, turning you into her personal editor as she took your feedback and crafted some of her best work. Foggy just liked to bring you new snacks and drinks to try together. The chemo made you sensitive to a lot of scents and tastes, unable to enjoy things that used to be your favorites, but Foggy had turned it into a fun game trying to discover the strangest and most intriguing flavors to try. Lately, he had been on a Korean kick, finding a bodega that exclusively sold popular Korean snacks and drinks.

Even though your body ached and you were constantly sick from the chemo, the three of them kept your spirits high.

But still, Matt felt guilty.

The day your hair had started to fall out was the worst. At first it was just a few strands here and there, nothing too noticeable, but then one day when you were in the shower, it started to come out in clumps, and you broke down on the floor. Matt panicked when he heard your sobs, bursting into the bathroom and stepping into the shower with you, completely unphased by the fact that he was fully dressed and now completely soaking wet. He pulled you into his arms as you clung to his body, rocking you back and forth slowly as he tried to gently coax you to tell him what was wrong. He thought maybe you had fallen. He didn’t like you taking showers without him or when he wasn’t home, since you had been weaker than usual lately from the chemo, and he didn’t want to risk you hurting yourself. As he began to run his fingers through your wet hair and noticed how much staying wrapped around his fingers, his heart broke at the realization of why you were so upset.

“Hey…shh, it’s alright. It’s alright, sweetheart. You’re okay. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

After about a week of feeling distraught about losing your hair, you decided you were going to shave it all off. There was a pained look on Matt’s face as you looked at him in the mirror, reaching behind you to give his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Hey, it’s just hair. I’d rather be alive and healthy than have it. Besides, I’ve kinda always wanted to see if I could pull off the G.I. Jane, look.”

Matt tried to offer you a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It didn’t even reach the edges of his mouth. Letting out a soft sigh, you turned around to face him, placing your hands on his cheeks to cup his jaw.

“Matty, none of this is your fault.”

“I told you to go to the doctor.”

“Which saved my life. Without you…I don’t know if I would’ve gone to the doctor at all. I might have never caught it until it was too late. But you caught it. You saved me. Do not feel guilty about that.”

Matt let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes for a moment, settling his hands on your waist to pull you close into his chest.

“I…I hate that you’re in pain. I hate that you’re sick. I hate that I can’t do anything about it.”

Matt wasn’t used to feeling so helpless. He had always sworn to protect you. He’d give his life for you. But right now he felt like he was failing you, because he couldn’t protect you from your own body. He couldn’t save you from the threat within you. All of his training, all of his heightened senses, none of it mattered. Being the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was useless against a threat that wasn’t tangible. 

The day you had gotten your diagnosis, Matt had run to his church, falling to his knees at the altar to pray over and over and over. He begged God not to take you like He had taken everyone else. He swore he would never forgive Him if he did. You were the one loss Matt could never make peace with. He pleaded with God to take your place. He could take it. His body had suffered far worse. He’d do anything…anything if God would just save you. You were the embodiment of an angel that deserved mercy, and Matt struggled with rage that it was granted to the Devil within him instead.

He deserved the sickness. He deserved to be punished. He deserved to face the Angel of Death, not you. 

But God wouldn’t let him take your place. 

He pondered if this was his punishment for all his sins; to endure the person he loved most in the world suffering for his own wrongdoings. Father Lantom argued that not everything that had ever gone wrong in Matt’s life was a punishment, but perhaps a lesson. Maybe to finally teach him the importance of balance, and figuring out what was most important in his life. That life was precious and fleeting, and it wasn’t to be taken for granted, but to be cherished. That God was not a merciless being hellbent on singling out Matthew Murdock, even if it sometimes felt that way. 

“Matty, you are at every single appointment with me, even though I know it makes you feel as sick as it does me. You have been right by my side, every step of the way. You and Karen and Foggy have made me feel so…hopeful. I’m not scared because I have you. You have sacrificed so much for me lately, just to be here with me and make sure I’m okay.”

“In sickness and in health, right?”

A tender smile graced your lips as you brushed your thumb along Matt’s cheek bone, staring up into his blank hazel eyes that shone with contrition. 

“We’re not married, Matty.”

“Not yet.”

Matt took pleasure in the way a soft gasp slipped past your lips and your heart rate sped up, using the opportunity to pull you in closer to his chest and press a tender kiss to your lips. The doctors had warned you both that it would get worse before it got better, and even though you were constantly in pain and getting sick, the chemotherapy was working. Matt had been thinking a lot about your future lately, and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He had decided that as soon as the cancer was gone and you were feeling healthy again, he was going to ask you to marry him. He wasn’t going to waste even a second of your lives together any longer.

“Don’t make me a promise you can’t keep, Murdock.”

“Have I ever?”

The smile that graced Matt’s lips was more genuine this time, and you melted into his chest with one of your own. You knew as hard as all of this had been on you lately, it had been just as hard on him, and sometimes you felt just as guilty as he did for it. 

“Not that I know of. Now, are you going to give me the best haircut I’ve ever gotten, or should I call Foggy? He said he’s been watching a lot of hair cutting tutorials lately and he’s very confident in his abilities.”

“He’s full of shit. He watches one tutorial and thinks he can do anything.”

A giggle slipped past your lips at Matt’s words, turning around to face the mirror as Matt picked up the scissors that were on the counter. As you captured your bottom lip between your teeth, Matt placed his hand on your shoulder to squeeze it gently, giving you a lopsided smile in the mirror.

“You must really love me, and trust me, to let your blind boyfriend give you a haircut.”

“Well, if you mess it up, it’s just gonna get shaved off anyway. And besides, if you draw any blood, I have a good lawyer.”

Matt’s lips split into a wide grin, and he couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head at your words. Taking a deep breath, he nodded his head in your direction as he rubbed his hand soothingly over your shoulder.

“You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

Matt was extremely cautious as he cut your hair, checking in with you every few minutes, occasionally stopping to gently squeeze your shoulder or kiss your cheek. Once it was short enough, he picked up the clippers and turned them on, the loud buzzing noise causing you to jump slightly. Matt halted his movements, cocking his head to the side slightly as he studied you.

“Do you need a minute?”

“No…no it just…startled me, that’s all. I’m okay.”

Pausing for a moment, he waited to hear the falter in your rhythm, but it never came. He gave a slight nod of his head, carefully turning you around to face him and delicately holding onto the back of your neck as he shaved off the rest. You closed your eyes as you held onto the cross necklace around his neck, feeling the tickle of your hair coating your shoulders and neck. You tried your hardest to will away the overwhelming emotions you felt, reminding yourself that it was just hair, and it would grow back eventually. Once he was finished, Matt wiped you off with a towel and darted his tongue out quickly to wet his lips as he smiled timidly. 

“All done. How’d I do?”

Taking a deep breath, you turned around to face yourself in the mirror, a sharp gasp falling past your lips. Matt instantly froze, listening to the way your heart rate spiked, and tasting the familiar tang of salt in the air as tears welled in your eyes. 

“That bad, huh? Should I stick to law?”

A soft giggle slipped past your lips as you shook your head, quickly wiping at your eyes and sniffling as you looked at Matt in the mirror.

“No…no no you…you did great. You did really great, actually.”

Matt nibbled at his bottom lip anxiously, wrapping his arms around you from behind as he flashed you a somber smile.

“Then why are you upset, baby?”

“I just…wasn’t expecting…I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel right now.”

Matt nodded slowly, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder as he held you close.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. It’s gonna be an adjustment, right? Do you wanna put on the beanie Karen made you?”

Karen had recently gotten into knitting, and had made you several things while she sat with you during your appointments. She had recently made you a soft beanie in your favorite color that had a cute flower pattern on it and a cute fluffy pom on the top. She’d even made Matt a red one that had little horns, much to your amusement.

“No, not right now. I think I need to um…get…let it…just sit with it, maybe?”

“Whatever you need, angel. Take your time.”

“I should probably take a shower. I already feel itchy.”

“I’ll join you. But first-”

Matt unwrapped his arms from around your waist, picking up the clippers to hand to you as he moved to sit down on the toilet seat. You stared over at him in confusion, glancing between him and the clippers he had placed in your hand.

“What are you giving me these for?”

“Because it’s my turn.”

Your eyes immediately widened at his words, shaking your head quickly as you started to protest.

“What? No…Matt, you can’t-”

“It’s just hair, honey. It’ll grow back, right?”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked over at Matt, noting the sincere and warm smile on his face. He held one of his hands out for you which you instantly took, sniffling as he laced your fingers together.

“I told you that I wouldn’t let you go through this alone.”

“I know…but you haven’t, not at all. You don’t have to do this-”

“I want to. Besides, we can add with or without hair to our vows.”

“What if I mess it up?”

“We can call Foggy, see if he’s as good as he says.”

Matt lightly shrugged his shoulders as he looked up in your direction with a warm smile, giving your hand another tight squeeze. You couldn’t help but look down at him in complete adoration and awe, leaning in to kiss his lips softly.

“I love you so much, Matty.”

“I love you so much, angel.”

“You should probably take your shirt off. If the hair on my skin is driving me crazy, it’s going to drive you insane.”

The edge of Matt’s mouth curled up into a smirk as he quirked one of his eyebrows, reaching for the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head.

“If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask.”

“Don’t distract me, Matthew. You have to be in court tomorrow.”

“Good thing I have hats and a beanie from Karen.”

Turns out, you weren’t as skilled of a barber as Matt was, and Foggy was thrilled to come over and prove himself to his best friend.

“Doubt me again, and I’ll shave your eyebrows off in your sleep.”

“You’d shave off a blind man’s eyebrows?”

“I’m a heathen, Murdock. You know that. God, it is absolutely annoying how good you still look without hair.”

“Isn’t it? He’s so unfair.”

The tips of Matt’s ears turned bright red as you and Foggy took turns showering him in compliments while Foggy worked, loving the way a flustered shade of pink coated his cheeks.

“Maybe we should shave his eyebrows, Fog.”

“I think you’re right, Y/N/N. I think we should.”

tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

[wonunuu]

still loving you ∞

prologue

synopsis: as jeonghan waits for his singing career to grow, he gets impatient and angry for the lack of recognition he has been receiving. along with his frustration came his drinking habit. with you already juggling medical school and trying to make some money for the two of you, can you still handle the weight added on by your boyfriend?

genre: angst, romance, drama

pairing: actor!jeonghan x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k+

profiles | m.list | next

a/n: hey everyone!! i’m actually camping rn so if responses are a lil slow, it’s cos i have no wifi or making cotton candies for little children. but i hope you all have a good week and stay safe!! 💓

send an ask or fill out the form to be tagged!

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“I’m almost there. Just wait for a little more.” You half scream to a very impatient Seungkwan rushing you from the other line before hanging up your phone and shoving it into your purse. Right now, you are sitting in the back seat of a cab heading to the airport where the rest of your friends are waiting for you. 

To your disappointment, you weren’t going for a vacation in Maldives where you dream of basking under the sun as you dig your feet into the pearly white sand, and a cold refreshing fruit drink in your hand—nope definitely not. Instead, you were going there to wave Chan, your history freak best friend, good-bye before he leaves for his expenditure to Egypt where he will be staying indefinitely.  Of course you were sad to see him off, and it made you sadder that you don’t know when you’ll see him again. His passion for history was undeniably strong that he even chose to become an archeologist (hence the Egypt dream destination). You found his love for the subject to be incredible and very admirable. With that being said, you’ve decided to be a supportive friend and be there to celebrate and see him off as he leaves to start a new chapter in his life. 

This isn’t the first time you’ve all had to say good-bye to a friend. In fact, this is the third time and you desperately hope it’s the last because god knows how much more you can withstand seeing your friends leave. A lot has happened in the past four years. At least to your friends.

Minghao and Mingyu left the country. Minghao went back to China to study martial arts, but also because he was homesick. You all saw this coming as you’ve all witnessed his never ending facetimes with his mother. Like yeah, it’s sweet and all that they have a close relationship, but it’d be sweeter if their calls didn’t last until two in the morning. Mingyu is in Paris, France because he is now a supermodel, as surprising as it may sound but it isn't because, wow, the man is fine. Anyway, he now walks on runways in his expensive clothes alongside other famous models whom you could care less about. But you are very happy that he’s become successful. 

After graduation, Joshua landed a job at SM publishing company as a book editor, editing countless manuscripts all day. He worked there for his co-op placement in his third year of undergrad school. Apparently they were very impressed with his work and offered him a position as soon as he graduated. 

Seungkwan is now a civil rights lawyer with his own law firm—which is very impressive as he literally just graduated law school last year. Him being a lawyer didn’t surprise you though, seeing how much loved to argue his point and what he believed in until he was proven correct—which he says he knew from the very start. This aspect of him makes him one of the best in the field, and that is totally not your biased opinion. 

Wonwoo is now a striving film editor. Since he was a philosophy major, hearing that he was gonna go into film was shocking news to you. But after looking at some of his works, you admit he does have talent in the field. Directors are practically on their knees begging him to be in their editing team. Who would’ve thought that the man who used to eat dog treats would make it this far.

Seungcheol opened up a club with performers, but you weren’t going to question that. The man was a business major, and so if this is what he learned and if this is how he wants to run his business, then it’s whatever. Afterall, it is his business, literally. Besides, he said he’s happy about it and that it gives him lots of money, and therefore, you should be happy for him too. 

Vernon? He’s stuck in medical school with you. But boy you were relieved this year will be your last before starting your internship. That is if you pass the board exams. Vernon has been busting his ass studying and preparing for this huge exam because it’s probably the biggest exam a medical student ever does in their entire life. He spends at least thirty hours a week at the library, his face stuffed between piles and piles of medical textbooks, and taking notes until his hand gets numb. 

He can’t say the same for you though. There is not a day where he rings your phone to ask how many hours you spent today for committed studying. You would get a long sigh and a fat scolding when your answer is three hours or less, which is the case often. 

As a medical student you’d expect reading textbooks, doing research and taking notes to take up three quarters of your day. But your life is not at all how you pictured it to be. You work two shifts at the cafe you’ve worked at for four years; one in the morning and one in the evening. Though studying while working isn’t exactly forbidden by your boss, it’s not a good idea since the two shifts you work for happens to be when the cafe is the busiest. 

Anyway, you do this because you need money to provide for yourself and your boyfriend who lives with you. Speaking of, after your graduation, Jeonghan has decided to pursue a singing career, and although it may have been an impulsive decision that was made on a random day as he chats with his friends, you were quite surprised to see that it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be? Question mark because your friends would say otherwise.

Your friends, specifically Seungkwan, would say it’s worse than you had expected. But Jeonghan was trying his best, and that’s all that mattered. You believe that one day he will get noticed and will achieve his dreams, and you wanted to be beside him for it. To be beside him all the way through. But as of now, he is trying his very best. 

Sometimes he would get calls from bars or restaurants to do a little show, and when he does, you also go with him, even if that means missing a shift at the cafe or sacrificing your study time to watch your boyfriend’s gig. He doesn’t make much from them, which is why you work  so you can have money to buy groceries, to pay the bills and to pay rent of your shared apartment. But you didn’t mind, not a single bit. You wanted to be supportive towards your boyfriend, and you’re happy seeing that he is doing what he likes. Nope, you didn’t mind at all. 

“That’ll be twenty seven bucks and forty three cents.” The driver informs you of the fee. You take out your wallet and take out a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill. You unzip the little pocket where you store your coins to get the remaining change, but you took in a gasp when you saw the pocket was empty. 

“I’m so sorry, it seems as though I only have twenty five bucks at the moment.” You apologize as you look at him through the rear-view mirror of his car. He said it was fine, you thank him and apologize again before leaving the car. 

As you pass through the airport doors, you see each of your friends giving Chan a hug. You sprint to where they were, and fortunately, you make it right on time. 

“Took you long enough,” Seungkwan mumbles with his arms crossed to his chest as you passed by him. The others, Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Vernon and Joshua all greet you with relieved smiles etched on their faces. 

You wrap Chan in a warm hug, your chin resting on his shoulder and the scent which you will miss like crazy fills your nose. He hugs you back, “Glad you made it!” 

“Of course I’d make it,” you say as you pull away. 

Chan glances behind you as if he was looking for something. “Jeonghan didn’t come with you?” 

“Probably drunk at their apartment,” Seungkwan mumbles as he stares into the airport ceilings. The rest of the guys shoot him a death glare, and Vernon tells him to shut his air hole. 

“Sorry,” you look at him apologetically, “he had a gig last night. He’s really tired, but he wishes you good luck.” You lied. Seungwan was right, well sort of. Jeonghan was in fact at your apartment with a hangover. You didn’t want to admit it because if you do, Chan might miss his flight because instead of getting on board, he would first scold you, then drive to your apartment to have a not so gentle talk with your boyfriend. So you kept your mouth shut.

“Flight 2342 to Cairo, Egypt now boarding,” the PA calls.

It was forty minutes before his flight so he needed to board the plane. You all collectively wave him a goodbye and wish him a good life there. He pulls his suitcase behind him and walks away, occasionally glancing back.

“Have fun! Stay safe!” Vernon shouts. Seungkwan follows with, “Call us when you get there!” 

“If you dig up a hot mummy, tell it to hit me up!” You smack Wonwoo’s arms, and he laughs, amused by his inappropriate comment. But Chan gives him a thumbs up, causing all of you to burst out in laughter. 

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