#hhhhhh I'm not gonna get to anything tonight sorry

[em-dualism]

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[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

yeah, i don't lie a lot either, not only because i'm just really bad at it but also i'm a pretty honest person, i rarely see a reason to lie about something to people i'm close with. i do lie to teachers too though. because i am not just gonna tell them that i'm planning on procrasting an assignment for 3 weeks and then doing it on the last night. no, thank you. about that i can lie very convincingly.

there was also this one memorable occasion where i was lying horribly and then somehow managed to save the situation? it was weird. basically this guy i was friends with asked me out and I panicked coz i didnt want to hurt his feelings but i really didnt like him that way, so i said i'm sorry i have a crush on someone so i'm not emotionally available. and he was like oh cool who is it? because he obviously didn't believe me (see: my terrible lying skillz) and i was like oh it's my classmate [insert random name that does not belong to any of my classmates] and he asked for his facebook because again: didn't believe me. and so i panicked even more because i didn't know any people with that name so i told him yeah you caught me, i was lying, i actually have a crush on my best friend (we're both girls) so hopefully ur not homophobic dude. he was not homophobic! so that was great, even if i did lie so horribly at first that i had to come out to save my lie 🤷‍♀️

i'm pan ace by the way! and i'm only out as pan to 5 (i think) people irl and literally no one outside of tumblr knows that i'm ace (because i'm apparently really horrible at telling who in my life is aphobic and after one attempt at coming out as ace and backtracking asap i did not try again!)

also, i figured that you would like to know, that i found some hair dye i bought before (the second) quarantine in my country started and forgot about. so i dyed my hair red again! at 1am (well it's 12.30 but thats close enough right?) i also accidentally dyed my favorite (white) sleep shirt red because in my excitement i forgot to change. so now it looks like someone's head was cut off while wearing it! the chaos! i'm loving it

Oh yeah, I had this one lecturer last trimester that would give you assignments and expect you to have started them like, a solid month before it was due. If it was like a MASSIVE assignment I would understand of course. But half the time it was just like a 1000 or 2000 word essay. Two weeks from the due date I’m pretty sure she expected a draft. That is of course not what I did. I’m over here chatting with my tutor the day it’s due like yeah I started last night gonna try to get it done by the due time tonight :)) shoutout to that tutor, I gave her second-hand anxiety and stress and she did not deserve it. But when talking to the lecturer? nooo I’ve made a start for sure :). On the other hand that was my worst class last trimester and my results just. weren’t vibing. so maybe I should’ve started weeks prior sdkfsdfsk. Lying to teachers about having started an assessment is my specialty. stressing tutors out about having not started so close to the date is also my speciality (i’m so sorry sdfkshdf).

oh my god what a legendary way of saving that lie in the end. that’s incredible. I think I would’ve panicked so much in that situation it just would’ve been stuttered half words and a sprint in literally any direction to get away. What a save. 10/10 quick thinking skills there honestly. to be fair there also weren’t enough people in my high school to get away with naming a fake person. when a guy asked ME out I just stood there staring at him with great fear until he reminded me I could say no so I said uh, yeah, I mean no sorry, and speed-walked away. he was good about it though. until I found out he wanted to ask me to the ball in year 12 I believe and I suddenly disappeared whenever he entered a room. Weird how that worked. so strange. odd. top 10 unexplainable things in the world.

so when I was younger I was ‘dating’ this guy on minecraft. there! i said the first sentence! cue laughter! meanwhile a guy at school had started to show interest in me (the dude above) and i mean. what was i gonna say. sorry dude i’m actually dating someone on minecraft so :)) can’t date you! but some friends got really curious about why I was so against dating him because we did actually get along pretty well as friends. and I wasn’t about to tell THEM the truth either. so i. so i- so. i um. i uhhhhhh. hhhhhh. i confess. the worst lie i’ve ever told. went something like

so the thing is I’m actually in a long distance relationship with someone, which is why I can’t date this guy and am not interested. we met in new zealand though! he’s in america now. it’s SUCH a weird story. we met in [insert place two towns over] and started dating and it was all going really well when his parents found out. they weren’t happy with us dating so they decided to move away so he couldn’t date me anymore. they moved ALL the way to the US just because they disapproved! we still keep in touch through messaging apps and that though. so. then my friends took me to maccas after school asking more questions and what he looked like. so I showed them his insta profile and explained a bit about him. that part wasn’t a lie but geez, THEY MOVED ALL THE WAY TO AMERICA FROM NZ BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T APPROVE? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ASS LIE IS THAT. THAT IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER COME UP WITH. I THINK I GAINED MY ABILITY TO LIE SOMEWHAT WELL AFTER THAT BECAUSE IT TRULY COULD NOT GET WORSE. anyway. that’s something i never want to reflect on EVER again. thank god i’m only exposing myself to all of tumblr. i was like 14 or 15 there is no excuse for a lie that god awful at that age. and yet. ANYWAY.

that’s awesome though! 10/10 identity in my opinion, thanks for sharing!!! I came out to my entire english class in year 13 as part of a speech assessment just cause it seemed to fit the speech topic at the time and i was like fuck it. last year here. let’s do it. and my parents still didn’t find out. despite reading the speech. it was a coming out comment that clearly just went over their heads. they still don’t know. everyone else does. it’s wild. I feel you though. I’m so comfortable saying I’m bi or I’m gay or I’m queer or anything of the sort with people I know are chill but the ace side of things? it’s just trickier for me, at least. the first time I mentioned asexuality was to my Dad when he asked me to explain what the acronym LGBTQIA+ meant after seeing it on the news or something. So I went through each and explained them carefully so he understood. And I got to asexuality and I started explaining and he was like oh but that one’s a choice though with a very final sounding voice. And I didn’t really know my sexuality exactly at the time but I was questioning if I was ace and I was like ! neat ! i’m never telling anyone now ! i’m sure he didn’t really mean harm or anything and if i genuinely sat down now he’d listen but it was enough to keep that part of my identity more private. still i met a bunch of ace people at uni by accident in one class. it was rad. english attracts queer people i swear.

and omg, awesome! I hope it turned out well! well except for the shirt. but honestly, that seems like an awesome edition. i’m feeling a serial killer who collects the shirts of people whose heads they just cut off. who then wears them to bed to sleep in cause like obviously you can’t just wear that in public. what a vibe. also at 1am? sdkfjskdfsdf mood. i’m glad you’re vibing with it though!!