#hi! diz here with more painful character introspection! :'^)

[dendrothecary]

DRABBLE.  ( untitled. )

THE   glaring fragility of his pitiful form was, ofttimes, mercilessly cruel.

He awoke in a state of cold sweat, limbs and body heavy and slack, clothing and jade hair stuck uncomfortably to sickly skin. His meager reserves of strength loomed over him, ready to betray him should he attempt to sit up too soon, thus he stayed as he was, weighed down into stillness. As eyes eventually opened, the room spun while he lay immobile, attacking him with a siege of nausea and a shrill, piercing ring of his ears. None of it was unfamiliar. In fact, he had anticipated a lapse in his own health for quite some time now, though welcomed it he did not. Time felt like it warped and bent out of its own jurisdiction; he could not tell how much of it had passed until he at last began to pull himself upright, though the pale blue hue that blanketed the room told him it was somewhere in the young hours of morning. Exhausted by their own efforts, his lungs coughed and fought for air. Shaking hands reached for the bedside table, digging blindly through the drawers as he squinted harshly at his own lap. From them, he pulled a glass vial; he brought it into his line of sight, scoured its appearance… Then popped the seal from it, bringing it to his lips and downing it in haste. The taste was astringent and bitter, as was the case with medicine crafted by his own hand. Although, he was accustomed to it, and did not so much as grimace or gag on its way down his throat. In lieu of such repulsion, all the doctor did was sigh as the first signs of relief washed over him. Already some of the immediate strain on his body had dissipated, yet it was nothing against the fear that had him firmly in its grip. No matter where he was now, nor what opportunities this world presented him with… He would never be able to make full use of its advantages, so long as his body remained bound by mortal limitations. But his search still bore no success. Modern medicine was not the solution, as there was only so much it could make possible. And in the place of Archons and Gods, whose divinity decided what mankind would ultimately achieve, here there were the Stars – the overseers of this world, with the power to revoke what they deemed fit. He wondered if he was wasting precious time abiding by their rules. If he had grown too comfortable in his surroundings, complacent to exist as he was, to make due with what was allowed to him. How unjust it was, that the ability to control his own fate continued to rest in someone else's hands.

Tentatively, he tested his weight on his legs slung over the side of his bed. They may as well have had no bone inside them, as they surely stood no chance of supporting him. Today, it seemed, the pharmacy would stay closed. So back into bed he situated, hollow with fatigue and bitterness. Resting his head on his pillow, Baizhu stared up at the blurred shapes of the ceiling above as the blueness of early morning grew brighter. To defy the odds…                 To wrestle fate back into his own hands… What would it take to achieve? Baizhu found he had no answer. Not yet. And for now, he decided he was much too tired to fight for one. Exhaling, he allowed his eyes to slip back shut. Between the heavy thoughts in his mind and the pain that seeped into every muscle of his, he would most likely not sleep. It didn't matter, he supposed, not in the grand scheme of things. Because his pursuits would persist, as they would always, until every stone was overturned, and when at last…                                           He had possessed his answer.  

[andrewrosswatson1987]

REVIEW: JACKILL DETAILS A DAY WITH THE JACKAL ON NEW ALBUM

Aberdeen, Scotland rapper, Jackal, has now reached that first full-length album point.  This brand new album, A Day With The Jackal, out today (July 26). This five years after his first demo, due to his two-year-old daughter, relationships breaking down and moving house (variously Garthdee, Northfield and Mastrick).  Its first tracks were written when he was 19, he’s now 25. Widely read and versed in the classics (J.D. Salinger, Nikola Tesla, George Orwell, Bill Hicks), the gifted rapper, with his socially conscious hip-hop, provides apt social commentary on his hometown, so polarised in its gap between rich and poor. There’s also the streetwise element to it, too. Very adversarial when the mood takes him.  It’s this mix of those two elements that leant the credibility to not only do hip-hop workshops at schools, but also doing a similar format at HMP Grampian in Peterhead for two years.

The emcee and producer from Aberdeen celebrates his first full-length album with the intention of performing the whole project in its entirety tomorrow (July 27) at Captain Toms .  This with Rabspitz, Nabu, Big G.O.D, Fatpat, Actionnn and Diz Clack and kidProquo from The Wab Lab.  Regarding the latter of the duo, deejaying between sets and after. The singles for the project are, so far, “Lost City” and “Life Or Death”. Opening track, “Halfway To The Highlands”, is produced by Sioc. This both shimmers lightly and tolls ominously.  Then rattle and clap of the drum machine.  “But because they’re on the wrong path, and never sure/Which way is clever to go” like lost in Highland mist. Quite quiet spoken raps and introspective in his thoughts.  Then a refrain, just vocal and drum, before exploring another soundscape, quite grave and arresting like intrigue afoot. Eerie background singing gives way to a jarring sample, firing off with lines like, “Death is the price that we pay/For this complex game of life that we play/Every second of the day/That you’re livin’s/Like a gift you’ve been givin’.” Then seeking ascendency with, “As I take flight/In the dead of night/I witnessed some incredible sights/I soared the height/Of satellites.” Then crashing back down:  “You never know when you’ll get caught in the middle/Of the inevitable/This life is deadly a riddle.” Drawing to a conclusion with the assertion that, “These are the words of a rebellious youth/That never learned a f*ckin’ lesson in school.” The whole thing like Guru rapping, DJ Premier producing and both combining to form something akin to the duo as Gang Starr; with a little Wu-Tang Clan flavour thrown in, too. Second track, “Chrysalis”, produced by Physiks, has pointed bass and jazzy guitar.  Drum cues in the heartfelt rap of, “I’ve got a little girl to raise, so lately I’ve been quiet in the game/But when I’m dead and in my grave/You’ll be remembering my name/The body rots but the soul and legacy remains.” “I see visions of a grave landscape/Governed by handshakes/And decisions that these foolish twats make/It’s a sad state that we’re livin’ in…might be hearin’/What I say, but are you really listenin’?” This decrying the world, including the listener themselves.  “I suppose I’m just like that/Everyday I’m trying to figure out where my mind’s at” like himself conceding to be just as ignorant, from time to time, as the listener themselves. “Everyday”, produced by Laigo, is kind of jazzy and calm.  Laidback until that resounding drum hits emphatically. Evocative of inner city New York at the height of the hip-hop explosion in the Nineties.  “Everyday seems the same with the subtlest change/Everybody struggles in this bubble of pain” like taking back some time for reflection, to heal within.  Then animated when, “Life’s mysteries have got me thinkin’ deep, again/I reach for the pen/And released a speech from my head.” Accumulating and exhaling to get off your chest:  “With death comes birth, with birth comes life; the cycle continues ‘til you inevitably die/But for now, kick back peep the message in the rhyme.” Saxophone raises your head as you hear the hook once more, delicate licks of guitar lending to the ambient feel. Then comes those “Crossroads”, which’s produced by Laigo, too.  This has an ethereal Far Eastern feel to it.  The bass and drum groove moodily amidst reflective raps.  The question of, “…the deepest pits/Even worse to find her in the bath with a deep vertical slit in her wrists…how can peace exist/In a place like this?” might make you stand up and take notice amidst generally positive vibes.  The instrumentation belying some of the hurt in said lyrics. The soundscape drops through the floor to give the vocal refrain focus on the lyrics, perhaps autobiographical:  “What kind of lifestyle to invest in/Learning lessons/Quick had him stressin'/But ultimately brought the best out in his character/Quick to challenge a lie/F*ck conform and he’d rather die/His savage eyes/Carried the life/Of his dead dad and mum/At sixteen he went on the run/A parentless son/The end of the song but Rory’s/Story’s only begun.” First single (2017), “Lost City”, is produced by Fiyah Cartel, featuring Big G.O.D, Mello Joe and Nabu.  It blares with church organ and sinister laughing heralding that violently hit drum.  “Balance your fate/On spinning plates” like the height of danger around any street corner, via Jackill. “It’s a picture painted careful with my blood and my tears/You should come a little closer if you’re strugglin’ to hear” has Big G.O.D drawing a line in the sand and summoning you.  “Smash face, shake/Until my back aches” like a power of work held upon those shoulders of Mello Joe.  Nabu weighs in with, “Sick of wakin’ up with the same sh*t/For wage slips” not knowing where to go in a lost city with dead end jobs. “The Aether Theory”, produced by, again, Physiks, features Rabspitz and pulses in your eardrums.  Like old style video game console music.  Really despondent, good shift in lyrical flow dynamics between the two. Then time for something “Strange”, produced by Rory Comerford.  It’s got a suitably odd backdrop, muffled clap and booming bass drum punctuating the raps of, “Raw and unrestricted/Standing in my pew/It’s form spewing out my diction.” Then chuffed as he reflects, “I had a vision/Of making a legitimate livin’…I went from cuttin’ half scores/To runnin’ a rap course.”  The booming and clapping drum fadeout as he ponders, isn’t life strange? Things end with second single (June 14), “Life Or Death”, produced by Steg G. This starts with what sounds a twisted classical music sample.  The rattle and clap of the drum akin to snake coiled like a spring, bitten before you can recoil from the poison sinking in.  The hook double tracked to give that feel of afterlife going to the burning centre of the Earth, rather than ascending to the harps and skies.  “Make castles from the grains in the sand,” like making your heaven on Earth? Ones to look out for are “Halfway To The Highlands”, “Everyday”, “Crossroads”, “Lost City” and “Life Or Death”.  One particular thing to remark upon looking at this album is how highlights populate all start, middle and end.  It’s not exactly overflowing with cameos, just the perfect amount of guest rappers featured. Jackill, indeed, has struck out on his own but not also eschewing guest verses and production.  He’s got the patience to deviate between quiet, methodical; loud and brash.   Jackill’s new album, A Day With The Jackal, can be bought on Bandcamp, here. Also visit his Facebook, Bandcamp, Spotify and Souncloud pages to keep tabs on Jackill.