#hint: he'll be unsuccessful

[fatuismooches]

I'M BITING MY HANDS I NEED MORE ZANDIK AT THE ACADEMY.

I love the little zandik at the academy, I love webttore, I love the grown-up dottore with gray hair and a little wrinkles. Ohh I can't😣😣

I NEED THEM ALL.

Cooked up some more Akademiya Dottore hcs for you anon...

Whenever he wore the Akademiya's hat with his uniform, you'd always steal it and he'd get mad, but eventually he gave up and let you hog it. It's probably a little big on you and as revenge, he'd make fun of you for looking dumb. Same with his clothes, for some reason you'd wear his Akademiya uniform to sleep sometimes? Zandik doesn't understand but every time he tries to pull it off of you, he's been unsuccessful, so he'll just let you be a strange little human since it seems to be working for your productivity... Centuries later he's learned to deal with a few shirts going missing and then you returning them after a while because they 'lost his scent.' (He wears the same outfit anyway, no big deal).

Thanks to you, there were quite a few times the professors actually listened to him. Other peers pretty much never vouch or stand up for him so it does make them think a bit when a student such as yourself does do it so vehemently. Zandik says you don't need to waste your time on it since he doesn't really care what they think, but he did manage to get a few more research opportunities thanks to you. In the beginning, he was pretty much clueless on how to express some sort of gratitude since he couldn't force out the words 'thank you' for the life of him. It was very funny for you to watch.

Group projects become so much better once the two of you get comfortable with each other. Both of you have been victims of doing all the work. You were quite excited to work with someone like him because you know of his intelligence and how he gets down to business. Meanwhile, Zandik was quite skeptical and annoyed to work with you in the beginning because he thought you were just another person who would end up leeching off him again.

However, he was surprisingly yet pleasantly proven wrong. He's especially impressed with your writing in the reports/essays, but he's never going to admit that. At least not now. The synergy between you two and your minds is something he doesn't know how to deal with at first, having dealt with so many of the opposite situations, but it's one of the biggest things that Zandik grows to be appreciative of.

When the semester is over, all students need to leave/clear the dorms until the next semester begins. Most return to wherever home is, but of course that's not something Zandik has, so most times he manages to rent out a place for a while. When you met him in the beginning he would just disappear to Archons knows where and then come back as if nothing happened next semester.

It takes a long time for him to tell you. When he does, he claims that he regrets it due to how often you show up to bother him, but in reality, he finds himself lonely without your company. As even more years go by, eventually he "invites" you to live with him. ("Invites" as in he never directly says it. Just drops subtle hints so you would ask him first instead). You're just happy to be able to cook for him more often (and 24/7 cuddles!!) (Just me trying to push my domestic Zandik and Reader agenda).

Just frequently being with each other but not needing to interact with the other. Both of you just do your own things in the peace of knowing the other's there.

Doesn't like when you ask others for help when he's literally right there. Please ask your genius scholar bf first. It doesn't matter what the problem is. Just ask him otherwise he'll get huffy and glare at you. No, you're not wasting his time by doing so. Rather, you're wasting both his and your time when you decide to go to other people first!

Coming home from expeditions. For some reason despite how tired you are, you want to feed stray kitties. It becomes a sort of tradition for you two.

This one was said a while ago, but I'll bring it back again (x, x, x) but you needing to wipe Zandik's hands because he keeps breaking pens and splattering ink everywhere. Whenever you see he gets a little too excited, you swipe the pen and start writing light-speed so he doesn't try to steal it from you for being 'too slow.'

[rondoel]

For ramble friday, here's a funny story:

A friend and I occasionally play HK Randomizer races. We've messed with various settings and curses via other mods, and over time, we've bumped up the difficulty of what skips might be necessary to get vital pickups. The important part for this story is that in addition to using the same randomizer settings and seed, we play using the multiplayer mod so that we can see each other if we're in the same room. Usually, we won't see each other once we get out of the starting area (which is also randomized). But it's fun to pass each other in a hallway or to accidentally both start fighting Grimm around the same time or whatever.

Well, we've done a few sessions of our current run (hard to win the game in a single session with as challenging as we've made it), and last night's session had some very silly moments.

We've had the same few abilities for hours at this point (downslash, left dash, monarch wings, and isma's tear) and we've almost run out of places we could think to check that were accessible. We even resorted to going through most of the dark rooms! Eventually, between dark rooms and unsuccessful enemy pogoing, we both independently set our sights on the right side of City. We couldn't use the big elevators, we didn't have claw to climb up Ogrim's way, and we couldn't do the spike tunnel towards the Isma's Grove because we didn't have right Crystal heart or right dash.

Between double jump and tenacity, he managed to find the tiniest of ledges along the gated right side of the fountain room, giving his wings a refresh to make it to the second story ledge.

Meanwhile, I completely fumbled an enemy pogo in the waterways, died, and then realized that that my shade would cooperate better than a flukefey. So I pogoed that, fought Dung Defender, and climbed up into the City from there.

So, you would think that my experience would keep the option of shade skips fresh in my mind, right? So that I would remember it and use it in another situation where I needed to get up higher than wings would allow, right?

Wrong!!!

Thus, sometime later, I hear my friend exclaim in triumph that he found Tram Pass and now finally had new places to explore.

So I'm like, oh damn, there's no way he's gonna hint at where that is. That's a huge advantage that will help him get ahead.

And then he enters the room I'm standing in.

Out of all the places I could've been in Hallownest, I happened to be one room over from his discovery.

So, I know it's in the first room of Crossroads, and the only unchecked item is the one up the well that you would usually need wall jump to reach. Or, if the Crossroads are infected, you could use the furious vengefly that spawns to the left. My crossroads were uninfected, and I was boggled at how to get it. Meanwhile, he's saying shit like, "it's the most obvious thing! it's so easy!" before eventually he tells me to use my shade.

Smh.

Takeaway of the story is to never forget that sometimes the embodiment of your regrets can be smacked with a nail to help you attain new heights.

The second takeaway is that I continue to be so fucking lucky in these races, and my friend hates me for that hahaha (though I do think he'll win this race, but he'll have to work hard to stay in the lead!)

Oh I have just the biggest grin on my face! The sheer comedic timing of some of these moments haha! The hivemind moments!

And yep, I like those takeaways, truly a wisdom for the soul. I'm gonna go smack my shadow now xD

This is absolutely delightful and sounds so fun (HK randomizer races pog??), thank you for the story!

[scenetocause]

hello emptyhalf i have a request because i am completely obsessed with your pregnant max from a while ago. how does lando convince him to take the test? how does max break the news? initial reactions? i would be so grateful if you wrote any of that 🫡

hello - under the cut, i hope i did it some justice

Lando's been quietly dropping hints, in a really annoying way, for a week before he actually just outright buys a pack of pregnancy tests and leaves them on Max's desk when he heads off to MTC. 

What the fuck's this for mate? Max sends, with a picture of the offending box. Yes, ok, he's thrown up a few times these past few weeks, it doesn't mean anything. He can't work out if Lando's getting his hopes up that he'll have somehow got him pregnant, if Lando's so stupid he doesn't realise it's not really like that for Max anymore or if Lando's just doing his annoying, over-the-top caretaking thing. 

He feels nauseous just looking at the box. Which, ok, he just feels pretty nauseous at the minute but that's probably the combination of spending too much time with Clem and Lando's passion for bad spring rolls. He can't remember anything anyone told him but he's fairly sure he can't get pregnant. Like, that has to be part of the deal, surely? 

Lando doesn't reply for a few hours because he's in the sim and Max spends the morning glaring at the box of tests, trying to pretend he's not on the brink of throwing up and then, after an unsuccessful attempt at eating a slice of toast, curled over the toilet. He's got half a fucking mind to do one of the tests just to prove to Lando that he's a fucking moron but it seems like a lot of bother when he's feeling this delicate. 

It's 4pm by the time he manages to drink a cup of tea and keep it down, rehydrates himself enough he actually needs to pee. He still stares at the box for a good five minutes before opening it - he's never even fucking seen one of the things before, some stupid plastic stick he's got to try and piss on for five seconds which, like, there's no way these things were designed by anyone with his anatomy. That's fucking stupid. 

He tries not to think about his whole deal all that much. He's got Lando, he doesn't need to explain it to anyone else and he's pretty comfortable that way. Lando has a dick, he has something else and they fit together better for it. Lando's definitely not any more of a boy than he is, the hairless freak, so it just is what it is. 

Which is mostly pretty fun. Max likes riding Lando, having Lando's fingers and tongue inside him, getting Lando's dick where it feels best. It doesn't make him anything different - except that Lando, very specifically, does not have the possibility of this.

He feels like he's spent the entire day looking at the stupid test, so just shoves it somewhere underneath him when he sits down on the loo and tries not to get his hand soaked. Lando's the sort of weirdo who'd probably be into this, so it's a small mercy he's not there, at least, while Max is trying to get the plastic cap back on the stick and not think too hard about why it's warm.

He washes his hands, sets a timer on his phone and proceeds to glare at it for a full sixty seconds more. There's a little hourglass symbol flashing at him to let him know it's doing whatever the fuck it does with his piss, calculating or whatever. Max figures it's going to just do that forever, until it realises he isn't pregnant and they can move on with their lives. 

What happens, instead, is that less than the two minutes it said to expect elapse before it flashes up a very decisive Pregnant 3+.

He has to dig the instructions out. What the fuck does that mean, he doesn't even know what four kids at a time is called - and fuck, Lando really better not have done that to him in some ultimate branding exercise.

It turns out to be weeks. That he's been pregnant for. Which actually means more than five weeks, for whatever reasons Max can't be bothered to work out while his head's spinning. Fuck - both that Lando's fucking right and what's Max supposed to do about this? Just have a fucking baby?

Moving on autopilot he flushes the loo, goes to his room to put the test back down on the desk but now instead of staring at it he can't face the sight of the thing. Goes to the kitchen and makes himself a cup of tea, then lies back on the bed where he mostly can't see the fucking thing, propped in the pillows, to drink it. Fucking hell.

He can't stop his hand going to his stomach, rubbing over it. It looks the same as usual, just a little bit less taut than his racing days, trail of hair down from his belly button the same as ever. Lando likes touching him there, putting his arm around Max's waist when they're sleeping. Max doesn't mind, likes being held; he holds Lando back, too, sometimes, likes it when Lando sprawls on him, between Max's legs, when they're watching TV.

Likes Lando, really, a lot more than he'd admit. It's why they fuck all the time and this has, somehow, happened. 

Max knows he's not great at dealing with this kind of thing. Still gets his mum to book his doctor's appointments, will happily live in denial rather than admit he’s sick and maybe he’s less sorted about his whole bodily deal or whatever than he pretends because if Lando hadn’t bought the tests Max could be being shocked by his waters breaking or something in eight months time. He’s committed to avoiding things. 

Committed being the other thing him and Lando aren’t, really. They’re more than just fucking around and Max knows Lando loves him, properly. That he loves Lando back. But it’s always been a bit of an unspoken thing - their friends probably know and Max is pretty sure his family do but they’re just them, rather than a thing. Which is a stupid situation to be pregnant in. 

He’s not getting rid of it. He knows that much, that he’s not the kind of person who could do that. He’s not ready for this, doesn’t know if he ever could be but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going through with it. Lando’s got money, they can afford a baby and he’ll just have to grow up somehow, become a dad. 

They don’t have to tell anyone where they got a baby. Max can put his denial tendencies to good use and hide it and there’s probably some posh doctors in Monaco that will sign an NDA and say they don’t care. Lando’s good at sorting that sort of stuff out or has people to do it for him or something. There’s good schools there. They can get a babysitter and stuff, it doesn’t mean their lives are over and Max always wanted kids, anyway - just didn’t think he’d be the one doing this bit. 

By the time he’s finished his cup of tea he’s thought far enough ahead into the future (what if they want to go to university, neither of them are smart enough for that) to reach for his phone, open the camera and lean across to take a picture of the test. He sends it to Lando with ok, fine as a caption because probably the worst thing about this is Lando being right, more than Max being pregnant. 

Then he rolls onto his side and traces patterns on his own tummy, wondering when it’ll start to show. His phone doesn’t ping - Lando’s presumably still stuck in the sim room - and he loses himself in his head a bit. Maybe Lando’ll want to marry him, Max has always suspected he does anyway but Oli and Sav had Mila out of wedlock so surely they can wait until Max can drink the champagne.

Do F1 drivers get paternity leave? Max isn’t keen on the idea of giving birth, full stop but not having Lando there would suck. Lando’d hold him, take the piss out of Max for complaining about the pain but try and make it better, anyway. Probably in some dumb-as-fuck way that would make Max hate him but still.

He’s so deep in thought he nearly ignores his phone vibrating, until he realises it’s a call and picks up. 

“Maaax,” Lando’s genuinely the most annoying man alive.

“Mate. I can’t believe you’ve done this to me. Your dick’s why I’ve been throwing up, fuck’s sake.” He’s not going to tell him he was right, that’s demeaning.

It sounds like Lando’s walking to his car or something, a bit of wind noise in the background and then the blip of the unlock system, a door opening and a few thuds. “We’re going to have a baby?”

“Assuming you’re human, yes. That’s usually what comes out, y’know, at the end.” Max puts his hand on his stomach again. Lando’s probably not actually a goblin. 

“That’s so - god. Do you want me to get you anything? What do you want for dinner? Are you allowed - we should look stuff up, make sure it’s safe for you.”

“I’ve been drinking wine and eating steak for the last month, Bob,” he grumps. He hadn’t thought about not being allowed to eat stuff but Sav had a whole list of things. “Can we get McD’s?”

Lando makes a noise down the phone like he’s not convinced that’s the best thing but also starts the car. “Alright, I’ll see you soon. I missed you.”

The line goes dead while Max is still rolling his eyes at the idea Lando can’t stand a full day at the factory without him. He’s got a key for the house but Max still comes out to meet him, when he hears a car in the driveway. Lets Lando wrap his arms around Max for a moment, pressing them together before he shoves them towards the door, paper bag in one hand. 

Max refuses to talk about it until they’re through the first box of nuggets. He’s hungry, alright and he’s not discussing the future on an empty, recently-thrown-up stomach. 

Lando sits uncomfortably close to him, pressed as tight to the side of Max’s body as he can be from where they’re sitting on the couch, trying not to smear grease on it from their fingers. Lando kisses Max’s hair and Max complains about him getting his fry-smeared mouth all over him but then leans back so he can do it again. Their legs are touching and there’s heat between their thighs, through their joggers.

Lando’s greasy hand inevitably finds its way under Max’s hoodie, to his stomach and Lando just huffs out a breath and rests his head on Max’s shoulder, mumbles something about Max being amazing.

That makes him squirm and it’s not the kind of thing he can think, about this, so he just snipes back “Pretty sure you had to be involved, buddy.”

“Have you told anyone - doctors or whatever?”

“Bob, I found out like two hours ago.” He knows he’s being sulky but something about how reverent Lando’s being is getting on his nerves. “We shagged, you came in me, I got pregnant - I guess we’re gonna be dads.”

Lando squeezes him, excited. “I’ll pay for everything, you’ll get, y’know, the best. I’ll ask Mark - unless you don’t want me to tell anyone? We can just work it out.”

Telling people who aren’t them is one of the things Max has been rolling over in his brain. “I’m not gonna - I can hide it, probably. No one’s got to know that I’m, y’know,” he taps the back of Lando’s hand, on his tummy. “It’s not like it’s showing.”

Lando hums, rubs his thumb over Max’s belly button. Pulls him a little closer. “I love you.”

Max sighs. “I love you too. I can’t believe you’ve fucking knocked me up.”

“I’m so-“ Lando squeezes him again. “I didn’t expect it, it wasn’t like I was trying but like. Fuck, it’s so hot.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. Don’t be horny about it.” Max shuffles around, leans forward to grab his coke and accidentally lets Lando slide his hand into Max’s joggers, under his boxers. “Bob…”

“You’re so amazing,” Lando says it sincerely and also his fingers have found Max’s clit, rubbing a gentle circle. “I’m so glad I get to - y’know.”

“Fuck me?” Max has always been the cruder one, Lando a bit shy about all of it, as much as he’s perpetually horny for Max. Fortunately, he’s fucking good at it, Max spreading his legs to give his hand more room to touch him. “C’mon, ah - not in the lounge.”

Lando does a little head-shake, like he’s waking himself up out of a trance and stands up, pulls Max up from the sofa and holds him round the waist on the way to his room. When they get to the bed it’s a blur of kisses and clothes-pulling, until Lando’s on top of him, thrusting inside and Max feels maybe a bit of the same awe, that he’s able to do this. That somehow their inept sex has become something more important, in Max’s body.

It takes hardly any time for Lando to come, inevitably, shuddering into Max’s shoulder and whispering something that the only word Max can make out from is “baby.” Then he kneels back and Max knows what he’s going to do, tilts his own hips back in anticipation because he swears the main reason Lando fucks him is to see his cum dripping out of Max, gets insanely hot for it. 

It gets Max his pussy eaten, one orgasm coming quickly, shallowly, as soon as Lando gets his tongue on his clit and fingers inside Max. Then another, deeper one after he’s teased and fucked and licked, fingers slippery and deep and mouth all messy against Max. Maybe he’s a little bit hot for it, too, knowing Lando’s touching him where he’s fucked him, where they made something new out of their love.

Lando kisses him after, which should be gross but Max is probably immune to grossness by this point. Just wraps his arms around Lando and lets him lie against Max’s chest, quiet and still for once. His fingers draw patterns over Max’s tummy, which he thinks might be words - affirmations, reassurances, almost certainly not spelt right - if he bothered to shift to look down enough. 

“Gonna be a good dad, Bob.” It’s his turn to squeeze Lando, who probably deserves his own comfort about this, really. It’s not like either of them were expecting it and Lando’s got more shit going on that this could be a problem for.

“I hope so,” Lando kisses his collar bone. “We’ll work it out together. You’ve got to let me take care of you both, I - I don’t know how well I’m gonna handle this. I just want to like, wrap you up and keep you safe.”

“I’ll be alright, Bob.” Lando snuggles into him, accepting the way Max is drawing him in, massaging his shoulders. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Well, I’m going to.” It’s Lando’s turn to sound slightly sulky. “Let me treat you nicely, it’s important.”

“Alright,” Max can’t help laughing, although he knows Lando’s being serious. “You can pamper me until the baby’s here. And then you’re doing all the night-time nappy changes.”

[harrowharkwife]

"what are you offering?"

"right now, Bobby's famous six cheese lasagna. and it only took three tries to get it right."

the couch/lasagna scene back in 6x1 'let the games begin' is a fuckin nesting doll of double-meanings and sneaky little symbolic hints and it drives me CRAZY, but like?

it only took three tries to get it right.

my first time watching that episode i immediately tied "three tries" to buck's past relationships, considering that the couch conversation was overtly about buck + his ex girlfriends. three tries: abby, ali, taylor. buck's already burned through all three of his tries- it's time for him to get it right. (the serendipity of eddie also saying "time! aw, you'll win next time" in this scene is... not lost on me!)

but i'd never thought about "three tries" in regards to EDDIE before.

he's tried (and ultimately been unsuccessful at) "picking a couch" twice before. shannon wanting a divorce right as eddie decides to reconcile, ana.

we know eddie thinks about dating again in 6x14. we know we see him "going on some dates" and having "mixed results."

that'll be his third try. and after that?

he'll finally be able to get it right.

[robjectionable-content]

So I've been thinking about something lately based on comments I have seen (here and elsewhere, by people with authority and people without) that tell people not to say or do certain things but then don't tell people what to say or do instead.

I think we can all agree that a hotel should allow you to open the door to your room. I think we can also agree that the hotel would be perfectly justified in not letting you use a crowbar to open the door to your room. So what happens when Crowbar Craig, who genuinely doesn't know how to open a hotel room door without using a crowbar, checks in to the hotel and tries to open the door to his room by using his crowbar?

Do you just tell him he isn't allowed to use the crowbar? If so, here's the thing:

In Crowbar Craig's head, by telling him he can't use his crowbar, you have reduced the number of ways he's allowed to open the door to 0.

"This action is legal but there are no legal ways of doing it" is a contradiction that essentially amounts to "This action is illegal".

Therefore, you telling Crowbar Craig he can't use his crowbar is no different to you telling him he can't open the door to his hotel room.

As established earlier, a hotel should allow you to open the door to your room.

Therefore, the hotel is wrong to forbid Crowbar Craig to open the door to his room.

Therefore, in Crowbar Craig's head, you are wrong to tell him not to use his crowbar.

Notice that at no point in that list did I even hint at the possibility of Crowbar Craig going away and investigating other ways of opening the door, such as using a key. That's because, as far as he's concerned, there's a perfectly good source of knowledge about appropriate ways of opening doors conveniently right in front of him - you, the person who told him not to use his crowbar. If he wants to know how he should open the door to his room, you are his best bet at finding out - way better than just going away and trying to work out the answer himself.

That's why Crowbar Craig will ask you "Well how else am I supposed to open this door?" How do you answer him?

Showing and/or telling him what he should do to get the door open (eg, "You should have been given a key. Put it in the lock and the door will unlock. Then turn the handle and push.") is the most beneficial way to answer from Crowbar Craig's perspective. By educating him on the proper procedure for opening his hotel room door, you solve his problem and arm him with the knowledge of how to solve that same problem in the future. Now that he knows the right way, he doesn't have a reason to keep doing it the wrong way (other than old habits dying hard). On the other hand, this may require more effort on your part, depending on how quickly Crowbar Craig can pick up on your teachings and how much he is actually willing to learn about new methods of opening doors as opposed to insisting that his crowbar should always be OK to use. The level of instruction he requires may be beyond what you can provide in that moment.

Pointing him at another source of that information - be that another person, the hotel's website, or even just the equivalent of "Google it" - is a bit of a wildcard. Maybe Crowbar Craig will get the information he needs from where you suggested he should, in which case, problem solved as if you had instructed him yourself, but with way less effort needed on your part. Maybe he'll try to find out what he needs to do but be unsuccessful, perhaps because he didn't understand what he was being told or because the source you told him to consult was unavailable. In that case, the problem remains as unsolved as ever and Crowbar Craig may or may not be more frustrated.

Maybe Crowbar Craig was wrong to assume that you knew what the right way of opening the door was. Just because you know one or more particular ways are wrong, doesn't necessarily mean you know which way is right. Telling him that you don't know what the right way is, only that it isn't using a crowbar, doesn't do much to help Crowbar Craig except let him know that he shouldn't bother asking you. Ideally, he would take this as his cue not to ask you again, but if he's adamant that you should know the right way to open the door, he might just get angrier at you for not being helpful.

Simply repeating what you just said ("Well how else am I supposed to open this door?" "Not by using your crowbar.") is a completely useless reply. You already made it clear to Crowbar Craig earlier that he can't use his crowbar. A reply like this provides no new information - nothing new about what the correct method is, nothing about where he can find out what it is, no reason for him to stop bothering you, nothing. There is simply no good reason to reply in such a manner.

Kicking him out of the hotel (whether you do it personally or call security) is the most reliable way of getting Crowbar Craig out of your hair while preventing damage to the hotel room door. It also sends the message that anyone who doesn't already know the right way to open the door to their hotel room is not welcome at the hotel in the first place. If that's the message you want everyone to hear, then this becomes the best way of dealing with Crowbar Craig. If you want potential guests to feel sure that you will actually help them with their problems, including problems with opening doors, doing this will give them the opposite impression.

Letting him use his crowbar, even if just this once, means going against the hotel's policy on not using crowbars, allowing the door to be damaged, and depriving Crowbar Craig of the knowledge he needs to open the door without using a crowbar. Plus, it sends the message that anyone is allowed to use a crowbar to get into their room - after all, Crowbar Craig's allowed to do it, and there's no reason why he should get special treatment. This may be the most convenient way for him to open the door to his room, but at what cost?

The thing is, most of those responses to the question "Well how else am I supposed to open this door?" work equally well as responses to witnessing Crowbar Craig sticking his crowbar in the door in the first place, and the ones that are more helpful to or convenient for him will leave him feeling less frustrated than if you (initially) just forbade him from using his crowbar and he demanded to know what he should be doing instead. Why didn't you just jump straight to one of those answers instead of just telling him to stop what he was doing?

Sure, you're not obligated to cater to Crowbar Craig's feelings, or to care about them at all, but there are gonna be people out there who a) will cater to his feelings, or at least appear to do so, and b) will tell him that he should be allowed to use his crowbar to open any door he wants and anyone who tells him he can't is just being an oppressive meanie. And, well, Crowbar Craig is gonna side with those who seem to care about him over those who seem to just want to get rid of him, regardless of which side is actually in the right.

Look, Crowbar Craig needs to learn to use a key instead of a crowbar to get into his hotel room - something he should have learned ages ago, maybe, but he didn't and here we are - and you can't expect him to figure it out on his own just from you going "Hey, you can't do that!"

Likewise, people whose only way of referring to concepts like, say, being torn between two courses of action uses slurs or dogwhistles are almost certainly not gonna figure out a better way to phrase it all on their own just because you told them they were using slurs and dogwhistles. Unless you provide some guidance beyond eliminating one or more wrong ways of doing things, at best, they just won't ever talk about those concepts again because they'll feel like they're not allowed to.

Be helpful to each other.

[blacklilyqueen]

Imperio

A while ago I had this horrible idea of Sirius being forced to kill Marlene, so here it is.

Warning: Angst, major character death

Word count: 1927

Tag list: @padfootagain @marvelcapsicle @matrixaffiliate @blackinnon-until-the-very-end @marlmckitten @mckinnon1979

Sirius opened his eyes. Nothing, just black. Again he pinched them together, opened them and tried once again to recognize anything, but remained unsuccessful. His surroundings were shrouded in deep darkness and made it impossible for him to have even a hint of where he was. Slowly he tried to get up, but something kept him from doing so and instead forced him to stay there as if he was bound by a spell. When he realized that he would not succeed on this path, he tried to remember what had happened last.

He had been on his way home when they suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Three Death Eaters who had ambushed and surrounded. He had been busy fending off two of their attacks when the third suddenly turned his wand against Sirius and a red lightning struck him right in the chest. Afterwards? Nothing. Until he finally woke up in this dark room without knowing exactly where he was. The only thing he knew was that he had a huge problem.

All of a sudden he heard footsteps approaching him and the next moment a door that he hadn't even noticed before opened. By the light that from outside he could see the silhouette of a person entering the room and lighting some candles so that Sirius could finally see more. The room itself had nothing special to offer, except for the few candlesticks it was completely empty, but through the fire he could now see the face of the person in front of him. His breath stopped when eyes as grey as his sparkled at him, a disgusting grin on her face. Bellatrix.

"Well, who do we have here? Has ickle Sirius strayed here?"

"Fuck off," he had just pronounced the words when suddenly a piercing pain ran through him. Every cell of his body seemed to burn, his whole body bent and he screamed loudly. As fast as the pain had come, it vanished and Sirius could hear the crazy witch's nagging laugh.

"Watch your language, little cousin. Didn't Auntie Walburga teach you?"

"What do you want from me?" Knowing that Bellatrix would torture him any time just for pleasure, he asked her the question because something told him that this time there was more to it than just her usual hatred for him.

"Well, actually it's not about you, but much more about that little blood traitor slut you love to spend time with. What was her name again? Marlene?"

"I swear to you, if you get too close to her I will-," before he could finish the sentence, he lay screaming on the floor again, the pain even worse than the first time.

"Then you will what? I doubt that you are capable of doing anything at all at the moment. So back to your little girlfriend. Where is she right now?"

"Do you really think that I would tell you anything? If so then you are actually even dumber than I thought. You can torture me as long as you want, but you will certainly not get any information from me," Sirius didn't know what reaction he expected, but to his surprise Bellatrix just started to laugh.

"Sweet, naive Sirius, I'm not going to torture you for this. I will torture you, yes, but certainly not because of that, what would the point be. But there are some nice other methods to get what you want to know," she took a little break. Her face had become a grimace as she pointed her wand at Sirius. "Imperio. So again, where is Marlene?”

Sirius felt his head getting heavier and heavier. His own thoughts suddenly seemed unimportant and the only thing he could think of was the question he had just been asked. His mouth opened a little when a voice in his head yelled loudly at him not to do it. Slowly he understood what he was about to do and tried to free himself from his trance. Bellatrix seemed to have noticed this and pointed her wand at him again and the next moment it was all blurry again.

"She is… She..." he tried frantically not to say the words, but her magic was so strong that he couldn't help it. "She is with her family. They are all at home with their parents.”

As soon as he had said it, he understood what he had just done, despite his still very foggy senses. The whole thing was only made worse by Bellatrix. Her eyes sparkled in psychopathic euphoria and a horrible mad laughter echoed from all corners of the room.

"See, it wasn’t that hard. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I should pay the little one a visit. After all, she almost belongs to the family thanks to you."

Compulsively Sirius tried to free himself from the magic spell that kept him from any movement, but it was impossible. Swearing, he shouted at Bellatrix, who found his hopeless attempts all too amusing. The show of her blood traitor cousin falling apart at the thought that he might lose Marlene gave her a new idea. And even for the disturbed witch, it made even some of Bellatrix's previous cruelties look like a bad joke.

Happy laughter was carried outside through the open windows of the living room. Lately, it has become increasingly rare for all McKinnon siblings to gather at their parents' and spend time together. Nicolai and Iliana, the two elders, had moved out many years ago and even had children playing outside in the large garden. Kagan was busy with his ministry work almost around the clock and rarely had a day off. Cole wanted to see as much of the world as possible before settling back in Scotland and thinking about his future. And Marlene was busy almost daily with missions for the Order in these difficult times. All this made the carefree moments like these, when they could just laugh together, all the more precious.

But everything beautiful must come to an end and unfortunately it was time for this one to. A red bolt of light shot through the room out of nowhere and hit Mr. McKinnon right in the chest, causing him to tip over from the chair as if frozen. The rest of the family pulled their wands as fast as they could. Nicolai and Iliana ran into the garden with their partners to get the children to safety as quickly as possible.

Another flash, this time green, shot into the room and only missed Marlene by a hair's breadth. Tense, she stared out of the window and tried to find the origin of the whole thing when she was under fire again. She fended off the spells as good as she could, but it seemed to her as if they were getting more and more.

From the part of the garden she couldn't see, she heard loud screams and could clearly hear the voices of her siblings, brothers-in-law and nieces, all panicked and confused. The rest of the family wanted to rush to them, but at that moment three Death Eaters appeared. Luckily, they were able to take on them with their combined strength. But as soon as that was done, they heard footsteps in the room above them. The two remaining brothers made their way up to take care of the Death Eaters there.

Again Marlene and her mother tried to help their family outside and were again surrounded by Death Eaters. This time there were not only three, but six. Each of the McKinnon women tried to take on three of them and were separated from each other until Mrs. McKinnon had finally completely disappeared from the room and her daughter's field of vision.

By that time, Marlene had already managed to take out two Death Eaters. The last one, however, was much more persistent than his two fellow combatants and so he managed to disarm Marlene in an uncovered moment. Her wand flew through the air and landed at the other end of the room. The Death Eater pointed his wand at her again. Panic spread all over her body and at the same time it was as if her heart stood still and maybe it did for a moment. She heard the spell being called before she saw the bright light. Although she wanted to fight, although she wanted to live, she was already prepared to die.

She didn't know what she was realizing first. The fact that she in fact wasn't dead or the fact that it wasn't the Death Eater in front of her who had just cast the spell. Logically, she should have heard immediately that the words were being spoken behind her and that the bright light was flashing past her from behind. And yet it was only the motionless body of the Death Eater that fell hard to the ground, that made her realize that she was not dead, and only then came the realization that he could not be the cause of it.

Jerkily she turned around and to her great joy saw her father standing in front of her with his wand raised. Although he still had to lean against the table with one hand, he seemed to be doing well by and large. Relief spread to Marlene. Her father also seemed relieved that his youngest was well. He just opened his mouth to say something when a green lightning hit him and this time he finally went down.

Marlene gave a terrible scream. Every inch of her body was burning to run to him, to scream at him to get up, but the small rational part in her head prevailed that advised at her to see where the danger had come from. She turned her head in the direction of the stairs to the upper floors to locate the source of the curse and looked into the face she unfortunately knew all too well. Bellatrix Lestrange.

"I'm sorry to just barge in here, but a little birdie told me I'd find you here and what could be a better way to meet my baby cousin's newest whore?”

"Better than killing my family? Yes, I'm sure for you there's nothing better. So are you going to just kill me with avada kedavra now or are you just going to keep talking and hope I die because you're wasting all the oxygen?"

"I'm supposed to kill you? Oh, no, where's the fun in that? He'll do that for me," another figure appeared on command, and when Marlene realized who it was, it made her blood freeze.

"Sirius?"

But there was no answer. He just stood there as if in a trance, his gaze stubbornly directed at her and yet he didn't really seem to look at her. His face was completely free of emotion and his movements resembled those of a creepy puppet when he reached for his wand and pointed it at her.

"Sirius, no! Don't do this! She manipulates you. Snap out of it! SNAP OUT OF IT! SIRIUS!"

But no matter what she screamed, nothing seemed to reach him. Her screams became louder and louder, more and more desperate. Tears began to flood her face. Her screaming became more and more a plea, a hope to reach the part of him that was his true self.

"Sirius, please," it was only a small whisper, but it was all the strength she had left and in the next moment she saw the green light coming towards her.

---------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it, there will probably be a second part in which Sirius realizes what he did.