#his utter lack of self esteem also really feeds into his paranoia as well

[trianglesimpfordpines]

hmm. having some Thoughts about ford, specifically ford and apparent arrogance as a defense mechanism

ford grew up believing that he had no inherent worth. the people in his life were either hostile towards him, or only kept him around because they expected to gain something from doing so. stan, the one person he was close with growing up, (apparently) massively betrayed ford when he dared to express his own desires.

as far as ford is concerned, he is just inherently weird and annoying and if he wants anyone to bother being courteous towards him, he has to earn it. and in his neurodivergent, socially traumatized brain, that makes perfect sense. relationships are transactional and he can't just expect people to put up with his weirdness without giving them a good reason to.

...so when he works hard and accomplishes things and other people still don't like him, the unspoken contract is broken. ford wanting clout and attention and getting snippy when he doesn't get it is less "hey, can't you see i'm superior to everyone here, why aren't you worshipping me?" and more "hey, i upheld my end of the bargain, i'm being productive, why am i still a pariah?"

and it's so much easier for someone who's used to having vulnerability met with aggression to express these thoughts as indignance and grandiosity than to admit that he's lonely and exhausted.