#hmm. poast

[captorations]

okay so re: lobster immortality there's got to be a way to crack this. like, they've done half the work already, yeah? they don't age, they grow until they are no longer able to muster the energy to shed.

i see three issues. the first is the square-cube law. proportional growth becomes exponential for volume and surface area. if allowed to grow indefinitely, a lobster will quickly find itself overly burdened by gravity. this can be fixed by launching it into space. an orbital aquarium, perhaps lunar as a temporary measure.

secondly, as the creature grows larger, it will likely require more nutrients than it can feasibly absorb. this is easily fixable through cybernetic implants, adding new methods of intaking nourishment as necessary.

and finally, the molting. the thing is that you can't just, like, help it molt when it can't do it by itself. it has to initiate the process, form an exoskeleton under its current one, or breaking its shell will kill it. you have to make its metabolism think it has enough energy to molt, then provide at least enough energy for it to actually manage the first part while you handle the second. the solution here is obviously cocaine. or the lobster equivalent of cocaine.

of course, a lobster under these conditions would still very likely take hundreds of years to grow. it would not be a project a single human could see through. unless they did something crazy like transfer their consciousness into the lobster's brain. but that's veering just a bit too far into the hypothetical.

so what i'm saying is that a cocaine-fueled cyborg titan lobster deployable from orbit may not be a benefit of being a marine biologist, but it *may* be a benefit of being a marine biologist's great-great-great-great-great-grandchild.

[kingspade]

rico rizzo will forever and always be exactly what i envision as soon as i think about human spamton by the way. both failed conmen with crazed dreams of escaping to somewhere brighter and sunnier. look at this shit

[elksewer]

[themetalvirus]

hmm allow me to check the tags on this poast i made to see if it passed peer review

all the tags: OUAUHGUGUGOOUUUAUAHAAHHHUUUUUUUUU

yep its good post

[nonsensechemicals]

hmm. it is time for me to make a Pinned Poast

[squishysphealgirl]

im not reading all of ur pokemon poasts cuz theres like a day worth but i want *you* to tell *us* what pokemon we are. at least do carrie and izutsumi. challenge mode is do all of us. also ur *worst* pokemon other than mr mime would be bronzor i think. also also i think u would be a reuniclus i think that would be good for you especially if u were like a big one

not reading all of them? fake fans. unfollow me now

ok. hmm. pokeymons. i cannot do all of you for i am only mortal but for carrie i'd say alcremie :] maybe swirlix for izutsumi perhaps sneasel? or zeraora... or arbok....

a bronzor would indeed be awful for me. not good at all :[

and yeas i would love to be bige reuniclus :D god's happiest little goop-dwelling animol

[deermouth]

3, 4, 11, 25

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Hmm. I always get kind of apprehensive about these questions, as though I'm entering into some kind of pact instead of poasting on my blog. I'm just going to go with 3 of my currently most-rewatched. Annihilation, The Wicker Man, In The Earth. There's a theme, huh.

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

The first actual house some of my roommates and I rented, back in 2015-16, was a real piece of shit. The bathroom caulking had all this brown stuff on it, and I wanted to know if it was mold--if we needed to be concerned. So I went to ask siri to google it for me. Crucially, what I said aloud was "Brown spots on caulk." You can imagine. Caulk mentions in our household are forever a reminder of that.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Oh gosh. Making time for one another. Communication. Flowers. A healthy mutual interest in the sublime. Learning what positive touch means for each other. The ocean at night. Jazz in the summer. Eating together. Blood (in certain contexts).

25. fave season and why?

I have accepted that for me personally it is now summer, not autumn. The heat can be hard to endure when it spikes, but I love the fullness of growing things, long days and slow nights, green green green, thunderstorms...

[chthonicgodling]

(I can only poast here cause Fenixe’s not really here anymore) CLEARS THROAT I have one more big wishlist fun and horrible thing to do to EeL during this whole saga of events - which I am rapidly running out of time to do on account of. fenixe and I are both busy aND SUPER EASILY DISTRACTED.but I am. just now looking at my calendar like oh. oh. OH—

I do have slightly more time than you might think on account of sure yea this baby is due at the end of October - however, can I, november Scorpio, resist creating another november Scorpio??? do you think he wasn’t going to end up overdue from day one?realistically I’d like to fuck up the timeline and push to the end of November but then that’s a Sagittarius and what’s actually more important to me HMM AAHHH

anyway prayer circle. this is guessable, I think. Canonically we HAVE established that this baby’s been making Loki’s powers all fucky wucky. he’s been glitching more than he would like to admit and hasnt had as tight a control over his magicks basically since he got pregnant. well Hm! what could that possibly lead to. I wonder.

at this rate I’m going to be drawing meticulous Elysium comics until like. December

[wernerwartzhog]

me: Hmm my dash is feeling a bit empty What Da HelIs going on

me a few moments later: oh right two thirds of my mutuals left this site five hundred years ago and the rest seem to have made new blogs or changed their urls so i can't identify them anymore

I feel Old And Confused but This Shall Not Stop Me From Finding New Cool and Nice 🅱️eople to Interact™️ with. Keep it Fræsch. Maybe Start Getting Used To actually sharing things again and not just incessantly reblog funy poasts. That Would Be Cool.

[folimoli]

hmm love reading a poast about computer hardware thats wrong and gonna get ppl to waste their money

[n-bunz]

hmm, I know I just posted about how being off tumblr is great and that was one day and five reblogs ago, but just to clarify and continue the gloat, Poasts hit different when you're not endlessly refreshing tumblr. I've enjoyed the last 20 minutes of scrolling but now I'm going to go early vote & visit the farmer's market with my friend.

[morganpdf]

hmm. i should tag the boop poasts

[absul]

kindof a continuation on my tags on that last poast bcoz i don't want to unintentionally yap in OPs ear any more than i already have but. i just think it's funny. how ppl will scrutinize us(nonbinary ppl) if we don't dress 'right.' if we don't look 'right.' and by that i mean 'impossibly androgynous for the majority of the population' and by 'impossible' i mean thin, i mean pale, i mean conveniently attractive by european standards. bcoz that's what those ppl basically ALWAYS mean when they say androgynous. they mean both man and woman, except not TOO woman bcoz then you're just a woman, and mostly man but also not TOO man bcoz then you're just a man.

and isn't it funny how they will do this all while also saying we aren't 'technically' trans for whatever bullshit reason they pull out of their ass that day. meanwhile garden variety bigots will say the exact same to any trans person, no matter their specific identity, nonbinary or not. and isn't it funny how we basically ALL go through this scrutinization, even if it might be in ever so slightly different ways for each of us. or not so different ways.

almost like….the trans community was made….to include ALL of us….for some reason…….. hmm i can't quite put my fingie on it. hmmmmmm. it is such a mystery

[halflifesilly]

hmm. maybe i too will post some old hlvr poasts <3

[misssunshineandseafoam]

Log into tumblor

Look at cat

Look at notes from sleeping boyfriend

Realise I have become the poast

Hmm

Very good

Make tea

Been living with my gf for a good year now and every night still feels like a sleepover with my best friend

[omegalomania]

i think more people could stand to examine the insidious racism behind the compulsion to discredit fall out boy’s lyricism as inherently nonsensical and therefore somehow bad.

i think more people could also stand to examine the insidious racism behind the compulsion to make every single thing pete wentz has ever wrote to be about a perceived attachment to their white dude of choice.

i think maybe not enough people consider how fucking yikes it is to consistently pull that shit with a black artist’s work