#hmmmmm what would freud say about me

[monakisu]

once again grappling with my unfortunate and truly baffling tendency of developing stalkerish, satellite, one-sided, idol worship relationships with the smallest, nichest, most random internet users i literally know nothing about

[queenofnohr]

Dantes Interlude 1 - Nightmares, or Perhaps the Call of Love and Hate

I’m finally able to do commissions again, so here’s Dantes!

[the screen is completely black]

---I can’t see anything. Only blackness. Only darkness. It’s so very dark. I get the terrible feeling I’m somewhere no one can reach me. Can I not see because nothing exists? I don’t know. Even if I open my eyes, nothing changes. Where is this place? I don’t understand. I don’t even know if I’m sitting or standing. I try to speak. My lips to not move. My tongue does not move. No sound escapes my throat. Ah, maybe my situation is worse than I thought. After all, my body is so heavy……

???: ---How unfortunate, to have fallen so deeply into this place. No. If you are here, can I really say that? Welcome, Gudako. To the place where all ruins fall and sink, stagnating deeper and deeper, forever. …...Hmph. What’s with that face? Looking up at me with puppy-dog eyes is a waste of time. Even if time is inconsequential, seeing as it doesn’t exist here. Yes, this is that kind of place.

> ……………...Are you, maybe-

???: You think you know “me”?* No. No, you really don’t. Do you understand, Master? Gudako. I come from beyond love and hate. Thus I am different from the me that is close to you. ---Now then. It is almost time for them to arrive. You must leave this place. I am the one who burns away the dregs of darkness of that which has fallen. My flames will destroy your soul and your self, and I cannot guarantee your absolute safety. Forgive me. This is not somewhere you should be.

> I won’t go > I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t just leave you alone

???: ……I see. Then, do not lag behind my flames.

[Battle, then My Room comes into view]

Dantes: …...What are you doing there, Berserker? Nightingale: I should be asking you that. What business do you have in Master’s private room? It is already late into the night. Sleep is essential to keeping the human body healthy. Return to your own room and rest, Mister Edmond Dantes. Dantes: I am a Servant. As you are. Nightingale: That is correct. Dantes: …………. Nightingale: It’s about our Master. Our conversation hinders her going to bed. Right now, her breathing is quite peaceful. Dantes: Oho. Peaceful, is it? Nightingale: …...What is it, Good Sir.** Dantes: Oh, nothing. If she’s sleeping, then it’s fine. I was just a bit worried that some kind of influence was left on the surface of her consciousness, but--- No, it’s nothing. Forget about it. Nightingale: Mister Dantes. If I may ask a question? Dantes: Go ahead. Nightingale: This is something I’ve felt for a while - that there is an injured person in need of aid. Action must be taken before it is too late. Please leave it to me. I’ll treat the affected part. Dantes: ……She probably isn’t wounded or anything. It’s as you said, she’s resting peacefully. Nightingale: No. No, not her, Good Sir. Dantes: ---. Nightingale: It’s you. It is your spirit that is wounded. Action is required. Leave the amputation of the affected area to me. Dantes: …...What? I know you’re stern, but if you go this far for a joke, no one will laugh. Nightingale: That’s it. Right there. You may not be aware of it, but you make remarks that confuse me for another person from before. We must take immediate action. Yes, yes, indeed. You also said something cryptic in regards to Master’s sleep. Dantes: ………...Wait. Nightingale: No. I will take the appropriate measures. Dantes: You’re holding a scalpel in your left and, and a pistol in your right. At the very least, hold the scalpel in your dominant hand. No, what am I saying. This isn’t right. Why are you specifically looking at our Master’s sleeping face? It seems you’ve sensed some sort of abnormality. I don’t know if it’s your intuition or a sign of your magical power, but you come to the correct conclusion. You were able to accurately grasp the situation. Our Master’s soul is under the contract of a large number of Servants, so--- Nightingale: Don’t get carried away spouting thoughtless things. Dantes: ………...Mercedes. Nightingale: That’s another thing - my name isn’t Mercedes. You have an injured spirit. You don’t see me as a single Heroic Spirit, do you? Even though you’ve called me Berserker, you also mistakenly call me Mercedes. I am not her. I am not a woman who possesses that name. Dantes: It is only natural. Your spiritual foundation has the memory of those seven days. Nightingale: Just…… hearing that name, it’s strange…… It makes me feel like I am not within this body, but somewhere far away. But still, I am not someone who bears that name. I will take appropriate action, so. ---I will sterilize your spirit. Dantes: …………. Nightingale: Ah, it seems he’s escaped. …...How bothersome. I will definitely treat him next we meet.

[Part 2]

Mash: ---You had a dream that Nightingale was arguing with someone?

> It was something like that……… > I don’t remember it well, but……

Mash: What a strange dream. Oh, no, I’m not familiar with dream interpretation, but if you want to, we could access Chaldea’s database? Shiva and Trismegistus aren’t really meant for this, but it should be possible. Helena: You’re talking about dream interpretation, aren’t you? Then just leave it to me! Since ancient times, humans have been interpreting all kinds of dreams. Since the age of gods, so to speak. In contemporary times, Freud is famous for dream interpretation…… My dream interpretation is a bit different. Fufu. I call it--- Edison: Exciting Direct Current Dream Interpretation! Tesla: Exciting Alternating Current Dream Interpretation! Edison: Huh---!? The moment an alternating current flows to the brain, the scanners would go haywire! Tesla: Fuhahaha, you know nothing, Lion-el! It can do anything! It can observe cranial nerve transmissions! Let’s uncover everything about what’s happening in Gudako’s brain……! Like what her favorite food is! Of if she prefers alternating current! Edison: Hmmmmm, or what kind of clothes she likes! Or if she prefers direct current! Tesla: ……Direct current……? Hmph, Edison, I feel like you said something. But what you were talking about was total gibberish. Edison: WHAT DID YOU SAY, BASTARD---! Mash: T- They’ve started fighting…… It’s amazing how both of them squabble like children! But to observe the brain like that---

> It does seem a bit interesting, doesn’t it > The invasion of privacy is a bit much

Mash: S- Senpai! It really is interesting……! Those two could learn everything about Senpai’s cranial nerves, and then…… If that happened, with the amount of information there, would it be a problem or not…… There shouldn’t be a problem with finding out Senpai’s favorite food ………But depending on what it is…… …………T- That’s a problem! That’s right! There’s a problem with this! It’s not right to look into somebody else’s head without their permission! Helena: Well said, Mash. That’s it exactly. Getting secrets like that is wrong. I didn’t like where this went after those two walked in either. I think that’s enough talk of both Lemuria style dream interpretation and Mahatma direct transmission dream interpretation for today. Yes, mm-hm, that’s right. I’m sorry. And also…… You two geniuses over there! The Gentleman and the Lion***: Y- Yes. Helena: Don’t just start quarrelling as soon as you see each other’s faces. Honestly. If you have so much energy, get into the simulator! Twenty Soul Eaters and Spriggins in a row! Go let your feelings out with that! The Gentleman and the Lion: Uhhhhhm--- Helena: Reply properly! Where are your manners! The Gentleman and the Lion: YES MA’AM!!

[we’re back in the corridor]

Mash: ……Seeing that was amazing. They really went through twenty rapidfire simulations. Both of them had such incredible spirit, didn’t they. So, what was the impression you got from their display of bravery?

> I shall christen it “The Infinite Battle of the Electric Lion’s Pride” > I shall christen it “The Infinite Battle of the Electric Gentleman’s Pride”

Mash: Infinite…… They did indeed have a lot of vigor…… Senpai. You seem to be a bit unsteady? Amakusa: Oya, Master, Mash. Good morning. Mash: Good morning, Amakusa. And to you too, ummm, Jeanne d’Arc Alter Santa Lily. Jeanne Alter Santa Lily: Good morning! Um, if it’s a bit hard to say, I don’t mind if you call me Lily or Alter. Or even Jeanne! Mash: Then, Jeanne Alter, once again, good morning. Jeanne Alter Santa Lily: Yes…… good morning! Amakusa: --- Jeanne Alter Santa Lily: Teacher, how was that? Amakusa: Your cheerful smiling was brilliant. Even the sun rising in the sky cannot compare to its warmth. Indeed, it is wonderful. I felt it deep within my heart. Jeanne Alter Santa Lily: I- Is that so? Um, did I just get praised? Amakusa: Yes, of course I praised you. …...By the way, Master, is there anything new since we���ve last seen each other?

> Nothing in particular--- > Last night I had a dream about Nightingale

Amakusa: Is that so. No, if that’s the case, it’s fine. As expected, the demon of vengeance has only grown to a certain point. I’m relieved I seem to be doing my job properly. …...Nightingale was arguing with someone in your dream? Oh, I see. I wonder if it was related to that? That person is sharp…… No, it’s nothing. Please excuse me. Mash: …...Amakusa? Amakusa: No, it’s really nothing. I’m just talking to myself. Jeanne Alter Santa Lily: …… ……? Amakusa: ---It is a dream of that story. It will be a dream passing through a year of suffering.

[the screen is completely black again]

???: ---So, you’ve come down here. Good grief, you really are a curious Master. To stay within a peaceful dream or to drift softly within a dreamless sleep are both fine choices - but there is no reason to be here. Stop. Do you understand? Being here is too dangerous. This darkness is also one of your dreams, but it is one not meant to be seen. It should not be. “I” should also seem slightly different than the me you know. I will not treat you as a guest forever. Leave, and forget this place.

> Nothing looks different about you > You aren’t smoking cigarettes are you?

???: ……Heh. You’ve made me laugh! It doesn’t matter where you are, you never change, Master! I haven’t changed, huh. I see. It’s as you say. No matter how different “I” am from me, at the heart of it, I am the same person. I am an Avenger that exists within those seven days, as I am a Servant fighting alongside you. Yes, I suppose I am indeed both. But, if I must choose…… “I” am a different person in this place after all. It is in these depths that my true potential is reached, where when I affix my eyes to your soul, it shines like hellfire. …………Ah, that’s right. I don’t have even have even a moderate fire. No - didn’t I give it to you once before? Then I entrust it to you. My black flames of love and hate would turn this rare cigar to ash. Hm---. You are a clever Master. Even in the depths of a dream, you still entertain me. …………Tonight it will end. A swarm of ever growing noise. From being tied to many Heroic Spirits, your soul has accumulated shadows and illusions, and the wreckage of dreams. The depths in which they settle in the dark. In that regard, this is a dumping ground for you. Regret for enemies you’ve violently killed. Resentment. Hope. That’s right---. Again, “I” have no choice but to say this to you. Leave--- that’s all. This is “my” job. This is something you should not see. You have accomplished much by way of dreams through the memories of the many Heroic Spirits you are bound to. If you do things that way, it is fine. There is no need to reach out to the remnant of love and hatred.

> ---

???: …………But, just in case. Gudako. Perhaps, if you wish from the bottom of your heart---

> I don’t want you to have to fight all alone > Even so, I can’t just leave you!

???: Heh--- Aha- hahahahahaha! Very well! In that case, do not lag behind my flames! Else you will be abandoned, a single drop spilled, left to rot for all time! Without feeling even anger you will simply sink, continue to stagnate--- Burn until not even ash remains! The memories of the Heroic Spirits your soul continues to watch over, the remains of illusions that fought there - that is “my” prey! Heheh--- Well, I’ll make it easy to understand! That this person is also “me”!

[He reveals himself as Dantes]

Dantes: ---Come, together now. Let us cut down those that remain. Conquer them, Master. Take them beyond this place of love and hatred!

[Fight, then it’s Chaldea again]

Nightingale: ……So, we meet again, Good Sir. Dantes: Indeed. Nightingale: The Master’s room is just up ahead; do you have business there? It is already late - making her lose sleep would be detrimental to her health. Dantes: No, I don’t. I…… I simply enjoy taking evening strolls. And what of you, Berserker? The threat the King of Magic posed is already gone. What are you wary of? Nightingale: There is nothing I am concerned about. I’m waiting for you to lower you guard so I can sterilize your spirit. You wound the spirit. Your way of being is not correct for a human being. ……It is distorted. It is damaged. It is wounded. Dantes: ………...Heh. Nightingale: Did you just laugh? Dantes: Indeed, I did laugh. Why did I laugh? My soul is already far from that of a human being! I am the Cavern King. I am a demon of vengeance! I’ve already stopped being anything human! ……But, receiving your treatment is impossible. I am me, and I exist as “myself” within the 21st century. If Master so desires it, the Cavern King will exist. So long as there is fighting, she wields that power. It is as you say. Even if you tried amputating the spiritual wound, it cannot be separated. My spirit lies at the ends of love and hate, and madness - so long as that holds true…… There isn’t anything much to do but exist. Nightingale: You aren’t making sense. Repeat yourself clearly and concisely. Dantes: Treatment is unnecessary. It’s fine, so just let it be. Mercedes - do not get close to me. Your straightforward way is similar to Gudako, and…… It’s just. A bit too dazzling for one such as me. Nightingale: …………? Dantes: Come morning, please go to see our Master. She could be quite exhausted in both mind and body. …………She’s probably having a bad dream.

*In Japanese, Dantes uses pronouns to refer to himself in both kanji and katakana. There’s no actual difference in what he’s saying, but the text makes it clear there’s a difference in meaning. Namely, he seems to use katakana (and so, in my translations, quotation marks) to refer to the self that lingers in this weird dream world. Please be aware, however, I only use quotations when he’s specifically making a comparison - I thought quotation marks might get obnoxious. **Nightingale actually refers to him as simply “Mister”, but calling someone only Mister in English is a bit weird, and the feeling it seems she’s going for is a kind of terse, formal, and distant way of address, which is why I replaced it with Good Sir at times Mister doesn’t read well. ***This is…… something I tried very hard to, but ultimately couldn’t translate into English. The words for Gentleman and Lion are pronounced the same in Japanese, and while it’s already sort of funny when both of them are talking, it feeds into the response gag since Mash wouldn’t know which you were referring to.