#holding hands with the most traditional goth girl i have ever seen in my life

[potato-jem]

i think a little part of me is healed every time i see a bubbly, pastel pink girl with a goth girlfriend

[kangtaebins]

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hi! A question for Maddie: how do u know ur a cis woman? I am an afab bi person and since i discovered i was bi my connection to womanhood became weaker (not that it was strong before). I thought i would identify more with other queer women but that hasn’t been exactly the case. I only see them online but they have too much “fem energy” so to say it for me to id with them and other nonbinary people seem too masc/neutral for me too. What does it mean to be a woman? Especially if ur queer

That’s a good question but I don’t know if I have a good answer for it.

How do I know I’m a woman? I guess just because I never felt like anything else? See, it’s not like I consciously walk through life always thinking “I’m a woman. I’m a woman. I’m a woman.” I guess I don’t actively think of that unless it becomes relevant in context. Also, when other people read me as a woman that feels right. Now, I’ve never been mistaken as anything else afaik - I’m petit and usually dress femme-ish so despite my buzzcut, most people will look at me and think “woman” and I guess the fact that I don’t mind that at all is one indicator for me being a woman. And I guess if someone else thought I was a guy it wouldn’t feel right?! The only context in which I ever had the thought that “I wish I was a man” (cisnormative speak for “wish I had a dick”) was in sexual fantasies I had as a teenager but those thoughts have vanished once I learned that strap-ons are not just being used by lesbians.

I don’t know if that’s at all helpful. I mean, I have been thinking about this more since getting involved with the queer community but questioning my gender always stopped in the moment in which I felt like “I’m a woman because I literally don’t know what else to be. This word feels the most accurate.”

Now, as for being a woman + being queer... I’ve definitely struggled with femininity when I was closeted, in the sense that I would totally over-perform certain aspects of what I thought women “should be”. But on the other hand I always refused other things which was hard if you’re the only closeted queer girl in a group of straight girls who more or less all perpetuate heteronormativity and misogyny. I guess it’s no surprise that the friend group I ended up joining was the goth and emo kids - despite not being part of either of those subcultures myself. But they were kind of “outcasts” at school and I knew that somehow I belonged there as well. Now, this was all probably more about my closeted sexuality but part of that was also about those goth and emo girls living a totally different femininity than the “regular” girls.

When I started coming out properly and accepting my bisexuality (which didn’t happen until my mid 20s) I also finally felt good about other aspects of my identity. It’s not that I hated being a woman before but I often felt like I wasn’t “doing it right”. But when I accepted that I’m queer and learned more about gender I realised that there’s nothing to “do”. I just am Maddie and I guess I’m a woman bc anything else doesn’t fit me as well as “woman” does; and how I behave and dress and exist doesn’t change anything about that for me. I am just authentically myself and that includes flower petticoat dresses and a buzzcut... and I feel very queer that way. And my queerness definitely is a reason for rejecting traditional gender expectations and gender roles. That doesn’t mean I refuse to wear clothes that are seen as “feminine” but I don’t do it because I think I have to as a woman. I do it because I like the way it looks. And then other days I dress like a Dickensian paper boy but not feeling any less of a woman, you know?!

This is probably all a very messy reply, I’m sorry. I have trouble explaining it. But aaaaaaall of that being said: I would recommend you take your time exploring this for yourself and also engaging with genderqueer people. I know the pandemic makes it hard or impossible to do this offline but once that’s safely possible again I’d say you should try to get more involved with that community outside of the internet. But until then online also offers more than what you have described so far. Maybe the “fem energy” queer women and the “masc/neutral energy” non-binary people are a bit more visible online (? just a theory, I don’t know if that actually holds true but it seems to be your experience) but there’s definitely more than that out there. And hey, maybe your gender is something in between or fluid. You don’t have to pick one static thing and stick with it. Genderfluidity is a real thing so maybe some days the “fem energy” feels relatable and other days it doesn’t. That’s cool.

Maddie

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Halloween Coutdown - Of Vampires and Witches

Summary: In the comfort of their home, Johanna and Maven celebrate the darkest night of the year. The Mistakes We Made Halloween themed ficlet

Notes: One, I repeat, one day to Halloween!!! This ficlet is set a few years after the end of The Mistakes We Made. If you want to read this fic and haven’t already, the link is here. If you don’t feel like it, just know that Maven and Johanna are finally out there living their best life after a lot of trouble

Read it on ao3

Spooky song rec: Black Is The Colour, by Celtic Woman

Johanna gazed out of the window, sipping on her tea as she watched all the happy children that were beginning to come out of their houses, all wearing costumes and smiling at the prospect of all the candy they’d get that night.

Halloween had never been too exciting in Trolberg. Their town was much too conservative, and even though there were a few parties every year, Johanna’s parents never allowed her to attend them. She’d never really minded it, since Maven had never been invited and she couldn’t imagine it being a lot of fun without her best friend. Ever since she’d rekindled her relationship with Maven, however, and especially since they’d moved out of Trolberg, she’d discovered that Halloween was, in fact, one of the best days of the year.

Right after Maven had graduated, she’d received an offer at a paid internship with one of Ericsonberg's smaller public libraries. The choice had been hard for her. All her life, she’d lived in Trolberg and the few extended family members she had all lived there, not to mention Mr. and Mrs. Kavindi, who had been such good friends to her when she’d needed them the most. But the city had never felt hers, and the opportunities she could get in Ericsonberg were simply much greater. Maybe she’d go back one day, if things changed, but after thinking her situation through the conclusion she came to was that her heart was not tied to a place. It was tied to people and this was the perfect opportunity to live closer to them.

Now, she was nearly done with her library science master’s degree, and couldn’t be happier with her choice to move in with Johanna. They still lived in the apartment her parents had rented for her when she was in college, but now, since both of them had graduated and had stable jobs, they were the only ones responsible for it. Johanna’s still short career as a graphic designer was doing so well, however, that they had set their gazes upon a house, small and far from the city centre, but with a garden good enough for Hilda to play on. They were certain that in some time, especially with Maven finishing her studies, they’d manage to get it. But whatever happened, they were together and that was more than enough.

“Mum!” Hilda shouted happily, running down from her room to the living area. “Look! I look like you!”

Johanna tilted her head, smiling at her daughter. She’d insisted on dressing herself alone. This was the first Halloween she was being let out to trick or treat with her friends without one of them accompanying her, and she was feeling adorably grown-up.  She was wearing a black skirt with a white button up shirt, with a cape that was red on the inside and black on the outside. Her friends had arranged to dress up as monsters, and as Johanna understood, Frida would be a skeleton and David would be a zombie. Hilda has wanted to be a vampire because of a movie she’d seen.

“Do I look like that?”

“Not you!” The child rolled her eyes playfully at Johanna. “The other mum!”

Maven laughed. She’d been taking notes on one of her textbooks on the table, and got up take a better look at Hida when the girl arrived. In the morning, Maven had taken her time honouring her ancestors and putting safety amulets around their home to protect them from ill-meaning spirits. When the night began to fall, she had put her offerings on her ancestor altar, and sat down to study after that, her usual Samhain traditions taken care of.

“I agree, you look really fashionable.” Maven cooed, holding one of Hilda’s hands to twirl her, so that her cape flowed around her.

The doorbell rang, making Hilda gasp and run to the door, knowing it was likely that her friends had arrived to pick her up.

“I think she just called you a goth.” Getting up from the sofa, Johanna put her cup on the table in order to pick Maven’s hand, both of them following Hilda to the door to see their daughter out.

“I don’t think I have any arguments to refute her.” Maven deadpanned, making Johanna chuckle. They watched the children hug each other and compliment each other’s costumes, Hilda proudly informing that she’d dressed up by herself and had even helped Johanna sew some black cobweb patterns on her shirt. Johanna realized her memory hadn’t failed her: Frida really was a skeleton and David, a zombie.

After kissing her cheek and telling her to be back early and to watch out for cars, the couple let her go, and went to the window in order to see her leaving the building, which she did in a few minutes. They were lucky Hilda’s hair was so flashy, it made spotting her, even from many floors above a lot easier.

They remained at the window even after she was no longer in sight, watching the movement outside and pointing out the things that called their attention. A group of adults dressed in black with skeleton masks and holding pumpkin lamps, a couple that was dressed as characters from a cartoon Hilda enjoyed, the amazingly elaborate costumes and even the downright lazy ones.

One girl especially caught Maven’s eyes. Her pointy hat was purple and she had fairy lights wrapped around it, shining bright as the sun lowered down on the horizon. She had a staff, and on its top there was a stone which also shone. It was probably all plastic, but still impressive.

“Wow, there are some really elaborate witches out there.” Maven said, her nose all but glued to the window, making Johanna chuckle.

“Jealous?”

Maven looked behind her shoulder to scrunch her nose at her girlfriend.

“Maybe a little. Her cape looks really pretty.”

Leaning forward, Johanna wrapped her arms around Maven’s waist and pressed a kiss to her jawline. Her fingers intertwined atop of her belly, locking Maven in her embrace.

“Don’t worry.” She said, her chin on top of Maven’s shoulder. “You’ll always be my favorite witch.”

Using her one hands to hold Johanna’s in place, she turned her face to nuzzle her nose against hers.

“I sure do hope so, madam.”

They kissed, hearing the sound of children enjoying themselves outside and feeling the scent of Maven’s candles inside.

Halloween truly was one of the best days of the year.

[anaomynous]

Kai Anderson P1

I looked outside the window of my dad’s station wagon, watching the familiar city of my teenage years, and childhood approach. I was silent, breathing on the window and drawing a heart onto it with my finger. My dad sighed deeply “You haven’t spoken since we left the airport, love bug! Aren’t you excited to be home for nearly 2 months? A nice get away from college?” I looked over at my dad and smiled “Of course, dad. I’m just, tired.” I lied, my dad obviously knew what wad on my mind: Kai. It had been 462 days since he last spoke to me. We were together since 8th grade, he was my first boyfriend, and he was supposed to be my last. My heart was still broken, I didn’t want to even hear his name. We had a life planned together, a future, dreams. I watched them burn up in front of my face, dashing and dividing like meteors in the Earth’s atmosphere that I wished on, over and over again. Hoping I could have him again, maybe hear the reason why he left me like this. I was supposed to have came back home many times… But avoided it, because I didn’t want to remember that it was supposed to be spent with him. We finally got to my parents home, they had recently remodeled it, it looked so different. Hard to believe this was the same house. I looked over to see my brother and my mom. My brother having grown at least 6 inches since I last saw him, towering over my mom. He was dressed up, with a leather jacket sporting traditional goth bands, and punk bands all over. His hair in a green Mohawk, and a pair of Doc Marten boots strapped on his legs. He looked just like me, I could see I taught him well. He smiled at me and waved, as my mom opened the door for me. Embracing me into a long hug, before letting me go, her familiar smell of cinnamon soothing me. My brother came up after and hugged me tightly, “Wow, Kat, you’re so short!” He exclaimed, a man’s voice coming from his throat. I chuckled into his hug, then pulled away when my dad began to struggle with the luggage I had. “Dad!” I yelled, running to him “Stop, you’ll throw your back out again!” I scolded, grabbing my bags from his hand. “Kat, c'mon, you’re supposed to be on a break from college! You shouldn’t carry your own bags.” “Knock it off, I can carry my own bags,” I said begining to carry them up into the house. “Stop it!” My mom said, grabbing my bags from my hands as my dad and mom dragged them to my old bed room.

As the night carried on, I laid on my bed, my mom hadn’t changed a thing. My eyes looked over to my desk that Kai had carved “ K + K ,” with a heart around it and felt a lump in my throat. I grabbed my phone, “Why am I doing this, nothing good will come from this,” I said before dialing his number, to my disappointment, which I didn’t understand why I would be surprised it went to voicemail. “Hey, Kai. It’s me, Kat. I’m in town for a while. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but I would love to see you. Um… I’ll be at my mom and dads.” I hung up the phone, and felt that familiar sting, like someone had stabbed me right in the chest. God damn it, Kai. Why the fuck would you do this to me? You were supposed to my forever. I began to sob into my pillow, that same sense of loneliness, overtaking me. Filling me with dread, heartache, and panic. Everything was bad, my grades, my eating and drinking habits. The thought that Kai may have met another girl, haunted me, I could not get the thought out of my mind. I hugged my pillow, dying to see him again. How could I allow myself to be this fucking miserable… I hardly recognized myself anymore. I was never the type to beg to die at night, and felt horrendous disappointment when I opened my eyes to feel absolute anguish. I would survive the day, by drinking myself stupid between classes, then pass out. Over and over again, my life was hell. With nothing, but a feeling of contempt for the people who were happy, or in love around me. I hated this world, but I was too much of a fucking coward to take myself out. Long I stared, at the bottles of bills, razor blades, cords, ropes. Even going so far as to walk to the top of the university, drunk off my ass, a vodka bottle in hand, looking down at the ground, letting my foot hang over the railing. It could be so easy… I could be free. But I was a coward… I grabbed my pillow and screamed as loud as I could into it, this pain… it was so intense and I couldn’t stand it. Why couldn’t he have stayed… Why did this happen to me? All I did was love, Kai.

The next day, my eyes shot open. I didn’t remember falling asleep, I rubbed my eyes, feeling that same emptiness that wouldn’t go away. “Day 463,” I spoke outloud, checking my phone to see no new notifications. I was still wearing the same clothes from last night, my boots still laced, my face itchy from my makeup being left on. I stood up, and walked down the stairs, the aroma of pancakes filling my nose. I walked into the kitchen, it recently having been remodled. The cabnits and floors, a stained hardwood. The stove a beautiful range top, and a high tech fridge. I sat at the table and rubbed my eyes. My mom, looked back at me with a smile. Her hair still messy from last night’s sleep, her tiny body drowning in a pink robe. “Goodmorning my gorgeous daughter! So lovely to see your face in my kitchen again.” I smiled at her softly, my mom was my best friend at one point. I am sure my distant behavior bothered her, but she was never one to pry. She walked over to me her slippers slapping on the floor, a plate in hand with 3 fluffy pancakes stacked on each other. She handed me a bottle of blueberry syrup and smiled. “I always remember your favorite, honey,” She said, grabbing a coffee mug. She sat down in front of me, taking a long sip of her fresh coffee, followed by a soft “Mmmm,” as she pushed up her shoulders. “So good on a cold day, makes you feel nice and cozy.” I nodded as I poured syrup over my pancakes, politely eating it. “You know, Kat. You can talk to me about anything?” I stopped what I was doing and stared at her, knowing what she was about to bring up. “Mom, don’t,” I pleaded “I’m just saying, I am here for you. We used to so close. I just… Miss you. I am here if you ever want to talk to me is all,” She said with a genuine smile, before reaching out and holding my hand for a brief moment. The kind gesture warmed my heart, reminding me that my mom did really care about me.

After breakfast, I decided to go explore the town I hadn’t seen in 2.5 years. Exploring the downtown shops, visiting places I hadn’t seen and familiar places I used to see. I arrived at an old book store, I used to go to after school. It looked exactly the same as it had before. I pulled open the heavy door, a chime echoing through the big store. “Kat!” I heard a familiar voice exclaim. I looked over to see Mrs. Wells, the book store owner. Her hair showing streaks of grey, tightly placed in a bun. Her half moon glasses, kept around her neck with a silver chain. She still looked eccentric, wearing her witchy dress that was a deep, purple, velvet. She pulled me into a hug, with that same smile. “Oh my favorite customer ! How is college?” “It’s fine,” I lied with a chuckle. “Well good! How long are you here for?” “Until New Years,” “Oh my goodness that’s while! I am so excited to see you here!” She said with a laugh. She walked over to the counter and smiled “Go ahead, pick a book ! I’ll be here if you need me.” She put her attention to her own book, letting me walk away. I walked up to see my favorite book: “Bram Stoker’s Dracula,” I pulled it out and smiled. This was definitely the book I used to read. A sense of nostalgia rushed over me, making me feel at peace for just a moment. I opened the book, to see my old signature, when horror struck me. I dropped the book like a hot plate, when I saw Kai’s name in the book, checked out not even a week ago. My heart pounded in my chest, my hands shaking. “Kat, are you okay?” Asked Mrs. Wells, looking at me from her desk in concern. “Yes, I’m fine sorry, I’m… Tired,” I lied with a fake laugh. I picked up the book and put it back, before rushing out of the store. “Bye nice to see you, I’ll be back,” I said before walking out “Okay, bye?” She said in confusion. I walked over to the alley way, right next to the building. I held myself against the wall, before starting to cry. I just wanted to forget him. Why couldn’t I? I slid down the wall to my knees, crying silently by myself. “Excuse me miss, you dropped something,” I heard a voice behind me. Fuck, how embarrassing. I stood up, rushing to frantically dry my tears. “Thank you, I’m sorry,” I apologized, as I turned around. “I’m a real….” I stopped what I was saying, as I stared up at the person who had came to give me back whatever it was I had dropped. Sporting long, blue hair. Different from his nicely kept, brown hair. He kept it somewhat longer than most men, however this was much different. His dark brown, sunken eyes staring down at me, his body now built and muscular. I held my breath as the world around me seemed to stop. “Kai?” I asked in no more than a whisper, a single tear falling down my face. He reached out his hand, and touched my cheek with his thumb, clearing the tear from my face. I stood there emotionless, not knowing what to say, as he acted as if this was entirely normal, or like I would be overthrown with happiness at the sight of him, his exoression smug, and smirking. I felt light headed, having to remind myself to breath. “Here,” He said putting a locket in my hand. I looked up at him, not knowing what it could be inside. I opened it, to see my most favorite picture of him. Immediately taking me back to the moment. The happiness, the hope, the feelings. I clentched my hand around it, and a flood of a million emotions ran through my mind. “Why?” I asked, choking on my tears, trying to speak. “To remind you that I still love you,” He spoke coldly. I scoffed, angry that he would lie like that. “That’s not true, at all. You wouldn’t have disappeared if you did.” I spoke, trying to keep composed. I kept my fingers on the cool silver of the necklace. “Listen, Kat. I want to explain more to you, explain why I did what I did, and perhaps even get your forgiveness, but I want you to come over to my house, so we can talk, could you do that?” I stayed quiet for a while, thinking about if I should walk away, even though I wanted nothing more than to embrace him, kiss him, hold him. Anything. Noticing my hesitation, he knelt down and put one hand on my cheek, and brought his lips to my ear. “However far away, I will always love you,” He whispered, before kissing my cheek. My whole body shook at his touch, after being so alone and aching for him. He pulled away from me, and looked down at me with a smile. “Will you be there?” I slowly nodded, and dried my eyes. Holding tightly onto the locket. “Very good, see you at 8:00,”