#hope you enjoy pain and mommy issues and bodily fluids

[laurelwinchester]

Fic: How the Light Gets In (Dean Winchester/Laurel Lance)

I’M ALIVE, Y’ALL!

Okay, let’s get this horror story on the road.

Additional warnings for this chapter: Honestly, there are so many additional warnings for this chapter that I urge you to just read the list of warnings at the top of this chapter on AO3. There is going to be a lot going on in these next few chapters when it comes to horror and also when it comes to motherhood.

Also, if you already have a phobia of birds, things are going to get a bit dodgy from here on out.

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Chapter Twenty Two

Milk

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''You left town to lead Edie away from us,'' he says. ''She's back now and so are you. It's a moot point.''

''Dean, you know it's not just about - ''

''Relax,'' he cuts in tersely. ''I'm not asking you to come home.''

She knows that she has no right to be upset by the dismissal, but she is. ''Oh.''

''But you're back in town, you seem to be sticking around, and Mary needs you,'' he says. ''She needs to be able to see you and hear your voice. I get that you're not ready to come home and I'm trying to respect that, but it's been over a week since you got back and if this separation is going to last however long it's going to last, we have to figure out a way to get you to her. I know you're worried about Edie and what could happen, so it's - I mean, I'll be there too. If you feel like something's about to go down, I'll get her out of there. But she needs you.'' He is steady as he says this, resolute, determined, but calm, like maybe he has practiced this speech, thought long and hard about it. But she likes to think she knows him pretty well by now and she knows how to hear what's simmering underneath. There is desperation in his voice.

Something has spooked him.

That makes two of them.

''Laurel?'' His voice is gentle, but exasperated. ''You still there?''

''I'm here,'' she says. ''I'm here. I'm just, uh, a little...'' She drops her head into her hand briefly, palm pressed against her forehead. ''What are you thinking? Like a... a supervised visitation kind of thing?'' She lifts her head and looks up at the ceiling, shaking her head, pushing away the tears.

Last month, they were in California, just the three of them, their little family, walking the beach at sunset, taking five thousand pictures of Mary in her puffy blue coat over her purple sparkly dress making sandcastles. They listened to old records and ate good food and slept peacefully. The sun shone on them. They were the calmest they had ever been.

Last April, she was happy. She had moved past her birth trauma, she thought she had moved past her postpartum depression, she was looking forward to having more children, doing it all over again, moving into a bigger house, living the life she had always wanted with everything she could have hoped for. She was sober, employed, working hard at being a good mom, a good wife, a good person. She was, in a lot of ways, peaceful. She was working on a happy ending.

Now she gets supervised visitation.

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[patronsaintofprincesses]

every sexy ask with a 4 in it!

OKAY sorry it’s taken me so long, first day of classes had me in an absolute tizzy!  So this is Ask Me These Probing NSFW Questions because i’m bored, starting NOW! (:

4. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? honestly er well, the best sex i’ve had to-date has been angry break-up sex with my ex-fiance. i have never felt as deeply emotional and connected to one person as when i was pissed off and kissing our engagement goodbye.

14. How and when did you realise you weren’t straight? i think i was nine or so, perhaps younger, when i saw The Mask of Zorro and absolutely fell in love with both Zorro (Antonio Banderas) and Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones). 

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where? mm i don’t have stretch marks but honestly it’s only a matter of time with the way i lounge about

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose? well I’m definitely a daydreamer, but i’m going to go with the fact that this is an NSFW ask lol i definitely fantasize at the most inopportune of times.,,,,,i’m real thankful i’m not a man because i’d probably have random boners all over the place. I am gifted with being able to call a fantasy at will and also to be bombarded whenever/wherever. I’m not really a sexual being but i have a wicked imagination and i love to explore intriguing situations.

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy. oh my okay ahem so, i really like scent, bear with me, in my fantasy, they wore this cologne by Pitbull called Man that i really enjoy and would often go running in the morning with it barely clinging to them. i love the smell of hard work (lol sweat) and Man by Pitbull together it just gets to me so, they would run at a sinful hour, i’d still be in bed in a big tshirt or a corset depending on how the night went and they’d get up to run and i had the bed to myself. it’s early, the sun has not yet risen when they return and i can smell them when they come into the room to get to the bathroom. i’m warm and pleasantly aroused, still sleep mussed and my eyes have a hard time opening, mm but my heart is in my throat already because they’re there with their shorts kind of slung on their hips and sweat at the nape of their neck so i kind of detangle myself from the nest of quilts not gracefully and crowd them and just kind of inhale the way they smell, like lingering cologne and darling and you know natural earthiness yes sweat lol and it’s early so i’m still sleep heavy and all i want are kisses and to bite their face a bit mm so i do. i nip their lips and lick the shell of their ear and then have my way withthem lol preferably held tight skin close and joining them in sweating. that’s honestly the sexiest thing i can think of right now  

41. How do you feel about BDSM? love it, learn it, live it. i think that like everything there can be too much of a good thing mm but i really enjoy the nuances of it and of course safety is queen. i think that done right, practised and enjoyed, it can be something that nourishes the soul after all what is pain without a bit of pleasure and what is pleasure without a bit of pain? even yin and yang have a piece of the other within them.

42. What’s your most unusual kink? well i’d say corsets but really thinking about it mm i really enjoy breeding sex lol sans condom, dirty talk about being filled up, etc.

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it? both. i can be kind of a brat and sometimes i need a good bit of punishment but i’m also a princess and i get a lot of pleasure from dominating someone i really care for. it’s wonderful to be so loved that you can be a bit dark from time to time

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither? both i think im a switch. i can be a sub online pretty easily mm but in-person i have a hard time really tapping into that side of me, whereas in-person im bossy and willing to play the long game. i treasure my imperfection and as is the case with everything, if you’re not failing, you’re not learning. 

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience. god it’s been years since i’ve been actively bound, but the last time i had yards of red ribbon that held my arms above my head, crossed at the wrist and my not faux boyfriend had me belly-down and gasping 

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term? no mm i mistakenly referred to someone as ma’am for a few years ahhh it ended badly, i’m childish and terrible with dealing with other people’s issues. mostly i just call people darling and thats about it  

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, 😢, cum, etc.)? i love tears and occasionally i’ll fantasize about bloodplay mm i don’t think i’d actively engage but let’s say my stint with S left me a bit darker than i started off being. 

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively? not that i can think of. i treat others as i wish to be treated LOL or at least i thought i did FYI i’m still so bitter about her, i’m probably going to be so until the end of my 20s 

49. Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of? yeah i love roleplaying being a sex object/sacrifice/arranged marriage bride so there’s definitely some dubious consent play going on. never full on non-consensual play but i do love being held down and/or tied up. 

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched. well, i’m definitely a tit/ass kind of gal, i love to be groped and rubbed up against mm i prefer a steady circular motion against my clitoris, a come hither gesture with two fingers against my gspot and a scissoring motion in my ass. i will literally clench down upon a n y t h i n g inserted so i love plugs, fingers, dildos, etc but i’m also not really a sexual person.,..,,,, i’ve slept with four men and two women and that was within a ten year span, four of which were spent with my ex-fiance. 

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different? mm i love vaginas, i love performing oral sex on women because i’’m definitely far more comfortable with the parts lol penises are....strange to me and i find myself being kind of bad at fellatio. like no one has complained but im pretty sure they’re just being nice. 

74. Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little? it depends, like if i’m properly stretched then i can take a fair amount and if i have a plug and generous amounts of lube i’m usually soft and sloppy open the morning after. so yeah um a fair amount 

84. Do you enjoy 👀 your partner(s) having sex with others? sure um i’m not a jealous woman and i’m poly and a voyeur and an exhibitionist (as long as i feel sexy that day lol if not then no, i’ll be in my room in my pajamas reading).

94. Post your follower count. so many porn bots @---@ oh my god but there’s 400 and i think 12 are actual people *sad violin*

THANK YOU for asking um i hope these are the right ones otherwise i’m going to feel so awkward lol