#hopefully it makes sense and it's not all gibberish lmao

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Hey so I wrote this chapter of a shitty story I might be continuing? idk how much I will update this, just remind me of it. Anyway. I’m putting the first chapter under the cut (hopefully, I don't really know how this works). I’ll start writing the second chapter now. Enjoy I guess? Oh yeah, this chapter is for 69 followers but the next one more so. Haven’t really edited this either, so if there are any mistakes then feel free to point them out!

The Five Fingers

Chapter One: I Can See a Man With a Baseball Bat

It was a late night on the 6th of September, or rather, an early morning, and Hubert Cumberdale was curled up in his bed, lying awake and waiting for just the right time. As the seconds ticked by, Hubert felt himself fill with more and more anticipation. His hands were shaking as he leaned over to grab his phone resting on his bedside table. He carefully unlocked it and opened his Instagram app. He checked the time and went into the group chat he had with his friends Marjory Stewart-Baxter, Jeremy Fisher and Milford Cubicle.

“420 blaze it lmao”, Hubert carefully typed into the chat.

“Go to sleep Hubert you’ve got to have energy for the movie release tomorrow”, quickly replied Marjory.

“You’re no fun, goodnight MUM!”

“Goodnight Hubert.”

After reading Marjory’s reply, Hubert made sure his alarm was set for 10 and put his phone back down and fell asleep.

 As sleep took over Hubert’s tired body, his mind was filled with a bright light, and then coming out of the smoke was Morgan Freeman. Morgan invited Hubert to sit and he did so. Morgan stared into his eyes and said with utmost certainty “You know I had to do it to em’”

Hubert spun around and saw him. Glowing. He spun back around to find Morgan gone. He woke up to his alarm.

He grumbled and turned off his alarm when he remembered. Today is the day. After quickly showering, he walked over to his closet to pick up the outfit that he had laid out the previous day. It was a simple white shirt with blue sleeves that went up to his elbows, and brightly coloured blue jeans. He walked over to his mirror and began to style his hair. He took two pieces at the front and make them stick up and then fall down, much like dog’s ears.

Hubert still had an hour and a half until he had to leave, so he decided to watch Bill Wurtz’s latest video. Before it, a 30 second ad started playing. Hubert decided to pay attention to the ad to see if it could give him any life changing advice for the day.

“Has you really been far, even as decided to use, even go want to look more like? Call 985-655-2500 inside the details for. Go further and even more decided to use! You can really be far as decided twice as much to use and go wish for it. When you decide far even once to use and even go want then get really far, even as decided to use and look more like and go after. It’s just common sense! Apply today.”

These few words held so much meaning to Hubert, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around as to why. He simply shrugged and went into the group chat and sent a message to see what his friends were doing now. Milford was still on his shift at Bunnings, Marjory was at the shops getting snacks and Jeremy had just woken up and was very annoyed.

Hubert decided this was the best time to go to the museum. They just had this new exhibit in that he was very excited to see.

After grabbing his coat, Hubert set off for the museum. It took 12 minutes and 250 seconds to get there, so if he stayed in there for 5 minutes he should be able to make it to the movie just in time.

When Hubert inside the lobby of the museum, he realised he needed a gummy snake to enter the museum. He didn’t bring one, so he walked outside and saw a kitchen table sitting on the road. He figured it would work just as well and walked over and picked it up. He walked back into the museum and gave the table to the receptionist.

“Funny looking gummy worm,” said the receptionist. Hubert merely grunted and took note that he had a nametag which read “Harry”. “Eh, whatever, it’ll do I guess step right in.”

Hubert stepped into the museum and started to make his way over to the new exhibit. He was in a rush, as consulting with the receptionist had taken 10 seconds of his precious time. It was lucky that the theatre was right next to the museum, so he didn’t have to waste time doing such mundane things like walking.

When Hubert neared the new exhibit, he started to smell a strange scent. It smelt of rotting meat. But something about it was different, almost foreign. When it came into sight, Hubert was in shock. It was one of the best things he had ever seen in his life. It was a meat dragon. Something seemed different about this meat dragon in particular. it was different to all the meat dragons he’s seen. What was different became apparent as he neared it. The sign said was entirely made of orphan meat. Truly original.

Then, out of the blue, he saw Harry advancing towards him. Oh god. This couldn’t be good. Then Harry started talking to him. It seemed like gibberish. Then Hubert started paying attention to what he was actually saying, and started to make sense of the nonsensicals.

He looked at his watch and it said he had been here for 2 minutes! Great Scott! He threw a pillow at Harry who ate it up gratefully, and Hubert began quickly running towards the exit, cursing under his breath about how Harry had kept him for 2 minutes. Two minutes too long I’d say! Doesn’t anyone know that no one cares if your pet tardigrade has a child?

He ran out of the museum and bolted into the cinema, coughing up red water. One of the staff members came up to him and offered a candle to help the coughing, but Hubert declined as he was going to be late for his movie. He made it in to his seat with only an hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds and 32 milliseconds left to spare. He let out a big sigh and wondered where his all his friends were. He was sure they were going to be late!

20 minutes and 4 seconds later, Marjory entered with a 666-kilogram wheel of cheese. Ah, good old Marjory, you could tell she was from Wisconsin just by looking at her.

Hubert was getting worried, there were only 10 minutes until the movie started and Milford and Jeremy still hadn’t arrived. Then, in the blink of an eye, they came bursting in through the cinema doors, panting like doggos.

“Sorry we’re late, there was a lot of traffic so it took an extra 4 seconds,” breathed Jeremy

“You should’ve accounted for that, hurry up and take your seat the movie is about to start”, replied Hubert.

They took their seats as they eagerly waited for the movie to begin.

[kangdan101]

questions tag :)

tagged by @hwangminyeo :’) lmao im sorry my life is so uninteresting but it was fun to answer these still heh

THE LAST

·        drink: water! Recently I’ve been trying to drink more water bc I am extremely dehydrated; i tend to drink like 1 cup a day (lol) stay hydrated kids

·         phone call: this morning!

·         text message: like one min ago I was just arguing with my friend whether or not our math teachers first name is jose or not (update: I was right, it IS jose xD)

·         song you listened to: ENERGETIC BY WANNA ONE!!11

·         time you cried: maybe like 15 min ago…????? Lmfao I was watching wanna one sing always and I got emotional (i cry about everything)

·         HAVE YOU EVER

·         dated someone twice: it’s hard to date someone twice if you’ve never dated someone at all lol (motae solo like minhyun)

·         kissed someone and regretted it: no

·         been cheated on: no

·         lost someone special: yes :’(

·         been depressed: yes. This last year was really really hard for me. Balancing dance and school and everything made me super stressed and I started to pull myself away from ppl :/ tbh produce kinda got me out of it lol and im 100% ok now

·         gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (lol bc I’ve never drank before hahaha theres so many things I haven’t done)

·         3 FAVORITE COLORS

·         Baby blue

·         Mint green

·         Peach pink ;)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

·         made new friends: yes

·         fallen out of love: no 

·         laughed until you cried: literally I laugh way too much for my own good

·         found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so :o

·         met someone who changed you: yes, many of them! (esp kangdan tho)

·         found out who your friends are: yes :)

·         kissed someone on your Facebook list: yikes no

GENERAL

·         how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: mostly all my fb friends go to my school but I don’t actually know some of them? So I’d say like 70%

·         do you have any pets: I’d like to think my little brother Anthony is secretly a dog bc he resembles one and can get hella wild sometimes lmao

·         do you want to change your name: my name is legit the most basic Chinese name ever I know like 3 other people with the exact same first and last name and alskdjgowaei;lskdfj it gets on my nerves sometimes I always liked the name lilia / lily but in 7th grade I met this girl whose name was Philomena and its now my favorite name ever

·         what did you do for your last birthday: lmao I studied bc I had a hUge test the next day and your girl’s serious about her grades man

·         what time did you wake up: LMAO I woke up twice this morning: first time at 4:40 to catch WANNA ONE DEBUT and then went back to sleep @ 6 am; woke up again at 7:30 am for class

·         what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on tumblr watching everyone hype about wanna one it was gr8

·         name something you can’t wait for: finishing junior year + SAT shit :/ lol my junior year hasn’t even started yet but im so nervous I hope I don’t screw up and thinking about it is making my heart beat faster yikes (wish me luck guys hopefully im still alive by june)  

·         when was the last time you saw your mom: a few min ago~

·         what are you listening to right now: my little brother Anthony is singing shape of you and its not pretty lol (he’s eleven)

·         have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t really remember

·         something that is getting on your nerves: the SAT omygod I just really want it to be over and im SO NERVOUS also anthony’s singing is starting to bug me (he changed songs and now he’s singing gibberish and it’s very distracting)

·         most visited website: probably youtube/fb/tumblr

·         hair color: blackish-brown. my roots are black but the ends seem to be browning a lil? Probably since it’s summer now and the sun is working its magic 

·         long or short hair: medium length! Like halfway down my back???

·         do you have a crush on someone: nope & haven’t had one for like two years

·         what do you like about yourself: my monolids? But my mom wants me to get surgery lmfao also i like that i have a naturally high foot arch bc its helpful for dance :)))

·         blood type: a… I think?

·         nickname: name: sarah; nicknames: sawa, sala, salad, swisso (I promise this makes sense in context), moon, moonmoon (these make sense in context too lol)

·         relationship status: single mom of my 98 produce children and always have been lollll

·         zodiac: capricorn

·         pronouns: she/her

·         favorite tv show: descendants of the sun, suspicious partner, I hear your voice, once upon a time, produce aka a horrible show that hurts u in all sorts of ways (pls rec me some bc I wanna binge some tv shows before school starts)

·         tattoos: none atm but maybe when I’m older I want a tiny star, or a tiny moon, or maybe my Chinese name?

·         right or left handed: Right

·         surgery: I got eye surgery done when I was rly young bc the gland between my eyes and nose was blocked which basically made me cry ALL THE TIME (like even when I’d be staring at nothing)

·         sport: I dance! And I used to do rhythmic gymnastics but I had to quit bc school was getting too busy I miss rhythmic gymnastics so much u have no idea

·         vacation: I think I’m going to go out touring colleges along the east coast near the end of august!!!

·         pair of shoes: I wear my converse a lot as well as my nike free runs. But other than that my shoe collection is p limited rippp

·         MORE GENERAL

·         eating: just finished dinner

·         drinking: nothing atm xD gdi in the beginning of this tag I wanted to be more hydrated and look where I am now lmao

·         I’m about to: wash the dishes that we used for dinner

·         waiting for: the day I graduate high school so I can go to college and take classes I love and alskdgjaowlfkdsfj (lmao im such a nerd im sorry)

·         want: to eat some ice cream (I love ice cream)

·         get married: that would be a miracle tbh

·         career: high school student / summer school teachers assistant  THE KIDS I TEACH ARE SO LOUD AND WILD theyre legit animals everytime I step into the classroom i can’t believe these 8th graders are capable of such chaos

WHICH IS BETTER

·         hugs or kisses: I luv hugs and I luv kisses

·         lips or eyes: both???

·         shorter or taller: taller (its not hard to be taller than me lol)

·         older or younger: older

·         nice arms or nice stomach: I think…. Arms 

·         hook up or relationship: relationshiip

·         troublemaker or hesitant: jesus idk I’ve never dated so I really wouldn’t know alskdjgoalkdsfj (but i mean troublemaker is a gr8 song??)

HAVE YOU EVER

·         kissed a stranger: no that sounds scary :0

·         drank hard liquor: no

·         lost glasses/contact lenses: I LOsT MY GLAssES IN FLORIDA ONCE agldkgjaosdfkj I swear I put it down on the airport seat and when I turned around THEY WERE GONE I spend a good 2 hours looking for them but they legit disappeared :/ to this day I am still wondering where that pair of glasses went

·         turned someone down: yes

·         sex on the first date: no 

·         broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not 

·         had your heart broken: no

·         been arrested: no

·         cried when someone died: so many times

·         fallen for a friend: lowkey yes but they still don’t know about that

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

·         yourself: I try to

·         miracles: yes or else what will happen to me in the future I need miracles to carry me bc my luck is trASH

·         love at first sight: no

·         santa clause: maybe for the first few years but then I caught my parents

·         kiss on the first date: no

·         angels: idk actually… I guess?

OTHER

·         eye color: brown; I feel like my eyes have been getting lighter over the years bc the outside of my iris is like brown but near the pupil its more of a hazel

·         favorite movie: I have so many omg I luv spirited away, howls moving castle, the book thief, and I recently watched wonder woman (pls rec some movies too im always in the mood for one :D) 

im tagging anyone who wishes to do this!