#hot jack harkness 2.0

[tragicbeancounter]

Ok so I've not really watched doctor who since mid way through the Matt Smith arch but I usually drop in for the regeneration episodes and I really have to know ... What the fuck? Like what have I missed? I can only pray to the Gods that there is some context from earlier in the series that I've missed because otherwise my only explanation is that the writers are on The Bad Drugs.

So without further delay, my here's my out of context recap of the The Power of the Doctor (spoilers):

There is a Rick and Morty style space train (this does not come back)

Cybermen can regenerate now which is cool as fuck

Cybermen have weird hats now which is not cool as fuck

Child slavery is also not cool. Who is this child, where did they come from, why are they cargo

"I'm the doctor I'll protect you" lol woops there you go

Omg a bunch of seismologists are going missing

Yes but also sometimes all the paintings aren't up in this gallery and there's no explanation "they're gone for scheduled maintenance" no explanation

Yes my missing people and your missing paintings are mystery's of equal value and also definitely linked

Oh yeah old DW actor cameos, like a lot

Why do the daleks have so much emotion in their voices now

The Cybermen too actually

"do you like my seismologist collection"

GCSE level volcano diagram

Unexpected and unexplained rasputin

Did they ever explain why Rasputin was in any way relevant? Did I skip that?

Russian doll cybermen which actually slaps if you ignore all the dialogue and explanation for it

Baldrick the cyberman

Disappointed in the lack of "exterminate" and "you will be upgraded"

The paintings have faces?? Why?? This was not explained??

Oh shit yeah there's like a whole extra planet in space thats also the deathstar, and also metal, and also powered by the child, and also the jokers tardis is there

But the child is actually sentient energy that's actually a laser space squid

Knock off Jack Harkness

Actually I take that back he was probably my favourite character this episode

The doctor is an unhelpful cybernetic ghost hologram

FORCED REGENERATION (I think you mean death)

No apparently it means you can possess another timelords body

What were those two fighting planets?? Why did he take time out of his busy schedule to say "mwahaha I'm the doctor and I did this"

Oh wait I forgot about the whole daleks drilling into the earth's core thing

I'm sure that was plot relevent but I'm still reeling over "do you like my seismologist collection"

The doctor is in limbo aka more doctor cameos

Oh yeah there was a dance break because the master is Rasputin again?

Seriously did I miss something earlier in the series? Why is he Rasputin?

I'm loving this guys acting but my god does it make so little sense in the context of the scenes he's in

Daleks exploding in a volcano is the cinematic masterpiece I didn't know I needed

This master is exuding extreme Sub energy

New Captain Jack is bae

They re-regenerate the doctor

Space squid goes wild

The doctor doesn't seem to really die but also regenerates?

The support group was actually really sad for me. Like can the doctor not just visit. They have access to an actual time machine it's not like they can't make time in their schedule

I'm actually not entirely sure what the doctor did to help anybody this episode

Was there a moral here I missed

In conclusion I don't know what happened but this was one of the most accidentally funny things I've ever seen and it keeps me up at night. By all accounts its a masterclass in bad writing but I'm not even sure I can bring myself to hate it. Would I watch it again, no. Do I wish I hadn't seen it, absolutely not.

Everyone should watch this so we can suffer together

[bluegraywilde]

Author Interview 2.0

tagged by the always lovely and brilliant @gingerchangeling​

And to spare the unwitting, I’ll keep it below the cut

Name: bluegraywilde here and on Ao3

Fandoms: You always remember your first and Doctor Who will always be that for me. But I’m a jack of all trades kinda writer (I don’t discriminate!) although usually the through line is Gay. 

Where You Post: Ao3 and v inconsistently on tumblr

Most Popular One-Shot: Brisk Runnings, a really, really dumb little one-off adventure that has Jack Harkness thirsting after the Tenth Doctor at the 2018 PyeongChang Olympics. I was just beginning to flex my fic muscles so it’s an odd little story.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter: Color Me Blue. After watching Love Simon (and then inhaling the book in one afternoon), I got the idea to remix the two stories and then tell them from Bram’s perspective. It’s highkey a self-indulgent way to give a fictional character the high school chance at romance that I never got and lowkey a self-insert (if the first person perspective wasn’t a dead giveaway :P)

Favorite Story You Wrote: Color Me Blue, particularly the vim and energy of the early chapters before the Plot completely took over, is still of one my favorites to revisit every so often. But I have to shout out the very first fic I wrote Dine and Dash. Inspired by a prompt from the bestie and co-custodian of our shared last brain cell, gingerchangeling, I have her meet the Tenth Doctor as banter and adventure ensue. The intended audience is definitely just her, so I get a kick whenever other people enjoy it. 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Can’t say I’ve ever been nervous per se to post anything. But as the hit counter and kudos rose on Color Me Blue, I did feel the weight of expectations, especially to stick the landing at the end. 

How You Choose Your Titles: Often song titles, but no hard and fast rules. Generally try to keep them short and pithy. And also can’t start a story until a title is chosen. It sets the tone and is a mission statement. 

Complete: mostly Cat and the Doctor Adventures, with OC totally not!mybestie adventuring through time and space (indicated with a *) Dine and Dash* Brisk Runnings Smith and Guyliner*- a birthday present crossover with Ouat Color Me Blue Weeping Fae*

Incomplete: I may not have updated in a year but I swear my Doctor Who Roman/Arthurian AU Flames baby will be finished eventually, just hit a case of missing muse. Meanwhile the Ouat Regency AU Hooked Swan is entering its endgame And my gay Spanish murder babies (technically not yet but later seasons of Elite may prove this wrong) continue to get hot and heavy and have Feelings as Matchpoint keeps the game afoot. Flames of Albion The Hooked Swan Matchpoint

Do You Outline: Always. I don’t like going into a story blind. That being said my outlines usually consist of a couple Big Things to happen in a given chapter so I have a sense of the shape of the story while giving me the freedom to mess with it as I go. 

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: Gilded Days: Thirteenth Doctor and fam face off against Cybermen at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair.  Heartlines: my love letter to the lovely but perpetually punching below its weight Merlin. It’s Song of Achilles-esque (because Merthur 4evur) Were the World Mine: the inverse of Heartlines, all angst and one sided pining (because while Merlin was impossibly gay, Arthur is also a straight fuck boi) Sekhmet’s Arrow- Cat meets Eleven, Rory, and Amy in their prime facing off against an Egyptian goddess loose on the Orient Express (in Space!) Paternoster Row- Eleven is a moody shithead Decorum and Seduction- Jane Austen, Twelve, Clara, and a certain Captain Killian Jones (because I know my audience) Degradation of the Daleks- Twelve, Bill, and Cat finally facing off against the Daleks Dusk- Clara, Ashildr/Lady Me, and Me face off against a mysterious creature Po Po No- Thirteen and fam face off against the Judoon (Chibnall beat me to the punch) River’s Eleven- museum heist with River Song and Eleven War of the Reds- Cat with Donna and Ten against the Ice Warriors Tangerine House- Cat, Mickey, and Martha vs Slitheen in the White House La La Land- Zygons in Hollywood with Nine, Rose, and Jack (and Cat!) Pandemonium- Martha, Ten, and Cat against a Lovecraft Demon beastie

Do You Accept Prompts: Never really been given any (no, person squinting at this suspiciously, you don’t count) but I don’t see why not

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Decorum and Seduction, it’ll be all wit and charm and I know at gingerchangeling’s hair won’t be the only thing red while reading it