#how timid he was and my coworker went 'oh so hes not sick??' and i had to reassure her that not Every cat that sits still for a while is

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Patlabor fanfic WIP

Summary:  Shige has a cute moment with Noa.  Asuma is definitely not jealous.  Because this is SV2 and nobody ever has anything better to do, absolutely everybody gets involved.  Basically, Noa becomes the center of a (PG) harem comedy and has absolutely no idea.

Backstory:  I’ve been going through a handful of fanfic WIPs and story notes from the past few years, seeing if anything really sparks my interest / seems like it’s worth finishing up...and I really like a lot of lines and concepts in this one, but I also probably won’t ever finish it.

At the time (sometime in 2018), I never finished it because the ideas got more complicated than I felt like wrangling, and because the “she was actually just blushing over Alphonse all along” ending seemed so obvious that it didn’t feel like the shenanigans leading up to the reveal were “worth it”.

And now, I probably won’t finished it because at the time I thought Noa was in her early or mid-twenties, and that Shige was in his mid- or late twenties...but it turns out that Noa is 18 in the Early Days / TV timeline (and left SV2 by the time she was 23 in Patlabor 2) and that The Next Generation set Shige’s canon age at 59, making him fucking 45 during Early Days / TV.  8′)  Since part of the story hinges on Shige crushing on her, even though (or especially because?) it’s onesided, the age difference kinda squicks me out too much for me to want to write any more.  But again, a lot of the lines and concepts make me laugh, so I figured I might as well share.

If you like this but wish it had more terrible sex jokes and/or that it was just poorly written Shige/Sakaki smut, check out my AO3 page cus that describes the only two Patlabor fics I've finished thus far  X’D  (And I definitely won’t be offended if that’s not your cup of tea.)

And now, the story~ (+ notes)

“AHH—!”

Shige started, banging his head on the raised hatch.  It took a few moments of swearing and cradling his skull before he managed to straighten up and turn around.

Noa had her hand over her mouth, a fiery blush spreading across her face.  He hadn’t expected to see her—it was so late, and she was clearly dressed to go home.

“Oh, uh,” she fumbled, shuffling her feet a bit.  “S-sorry, I didn’t—didn’t mean to interrupt—”

Shige grinned, though the muscle movement made his head injury sting.  “No problem!  ’Sup?”

“I, uh...”

Another surprise.  The blush deepened, and—Shige had never seen her shy.  Hadn’t thought her capable of it, honestly.  Noa was the only girl he’d ever met who burped openly instead of holding it in.

Noa’s hand slowly rose up to point at—him?  Oh, no, past him, into the cavity of her Ingram’s leg.  The hatch on its shin had been opened and the curved guard over the ankle removed, exposing a tangled web of pistons and wiring.

“Hm?”  Shige blinked, then seemed to get it.  “Oh!  Oh, you’re worried about your ‘Alphonse’, right?”

“Oh, n-no, that’s not—”

“ ‘He’s’ just fine, Izumi-chan, cross my heart!  I’m just taking a peek at the ankle servos, you’ve been shifting to the left a teensy bit when you walk lately—not enough to interfere with the auto-balance, of course, but who wants to worry about maybe possibly potentially tripping over six-ton feet in the middle of a chase scene, right?  I’ll get ‘him’ back in tip-top shape in no time!”

“Ah, well, th-thank you, Shige-san...”

Shige grinned again, turned back around, bent into the leg cavity and picked up his toolbox.

Sound echoed in here.

He heard the slight whistling through his teeth as he tried to expel the tune stuck in his head, every little reverberating clink when his tools touched the mechanisms.

He didn’t hear footsteps.

More carefully this time—squatting further down instead of straightening up—Shige extricated himself and turned around.

Noa jumped, glancing away sharply, shuffling her feet again.  That pink in her cheeks looked utterly alien, but...very, very cute.

Shige swallowed.

“H-hey, c’mere,” he blustered, grin a bit more lopsided than before.  “Lemme show you.”

Noa hesitated—wow, shy was a really great look on her—but stepped forward.  There was only room for one on the awkwardly curved slope of the Ingram’s foot, so Shige slid off and gallantly helped her up, being extremely careful about the placement of his hands.  Noa’s fingers dug into his shoulder as she steadied herself, peering into the inner workings of the Ingram.

Shige pointed at things, his already-too-loud voice echoing throughout the cavern of the exposed leg.  He explained what was what, Noa nodded and “oh!”ed and asked all the right questions, her hand on his shoulder the entire time.  She glanced clumsily back and forth between the towering mechanisms and Shige, eyes bright, breath a little ragged.

It was Noa who almost slipped and fell climbing down, but Shige was absolutely dizzy.

---

“Sucks to be you, Asuma-chan~”

Asuma and a handful of the maintenance crew were crowded in the break room divvying up their Shanghai Noodle lunch orders.  He squinted skeptically.  Shige had been bursting at the seams with swagger and pride all day, and the tone of this latest remark implied a dramatic reveal.

But Asuma refused to give him the satisfaction of showing he was curious, and instead calmly dipped his chopsticks into his ramen with nothing more than an “Oh?”

“Izumi-chan’s got a crush on me.”

SSSSPPGHHHKHKG!!

Half the room jumped.  Shige crowed with laughter.  Asuma tried his best to hurriedly wipe the wet noodles off his vest and to look coolly aloof at the same time.

“So, what,” he grumbled, failing at the latter, “is this like the time you thought the mailman had a crush on you?”

“He did,” Shige retorted defensively.  Then he settled back in his chair again, arms folded behind his head, the picture of perfect smug serenity.  “But I caught Izumi-chan staring at my sexy ass while I was bent over the Ingram’s ankle servos last night.  You ever seen her blush?  Almost reminds you she’s a sweet young girl!”

“What makes you think she was staring at your ass?” mumbled one of the mechanics.

Asuma almost dropped the paper towel he’d been furiously wiping with.

“Yes.  Yes!” he blurted, then remembered he was supposed to be coolly aloof and crossed his arms (spreading the broth stains to his sleeves).  “I mean...it was probably ‘Alphonse’ you were working on, right?  ‘He’s’ the only ‘man’ she has eyes for.”

“Oh, so you think just ’cus she hasn’t jumped on you that she’s completely immune to masculine charms?”  Shige snorted, but he was already starting to go red at the ears.  “All you ever do is yell orders at her!  I’m the one taking care of her beloved ‘Pat-chan’ every day—nursing ‘him’ when ‘he’s’ sick—making sure ‘he’ always looks ‘his’ best—it just makes sense that she’d fall in love with—”

“Seriously?  By that logic, Noa’d be sleeping with the entire maintenance staff!”

All the mechanics in the room became very alert.

“Or Chief Sakaki!” added Asuma.

The mechanics instantly deflated.

“Whatever.”  Shige snapped up his bowl and dug in, pointedly avoiding Asuma’s gaze.  “You’re just jealous.”

A triumphant smirk played across Asuma’s face.  He sat back down, stain be damned.  “Aw, don’t worry about it,” he said soothingly, blowing on his own ramen.  “I get it.  You’re crazed with loneliness being cooped up with a bunch of sweaty guys day after day, right?  Of course you’ll take any smile from a girl as a—”

“I am not—”

“Shige-san!”

Both men nearly fell out of their chairs.

“There you are!” chirped Noa, though she gave a self-conscious start as she glanced around the room and saw just how many people were in it.  Asuma stared.  He’d never actually seen her blush before.

“U-um,” she went on, suddenly timid again but trying to smile through it.  “So, Shige-san...I just wanted to ask...c-can I, uh, hang out with you again after my shift’s over?  ...Like yesterday?”

“Absolutely, Izumi-chan,” said Shige smoothly, flashing a toothy grin at Asuma.  “Absolutely.”

---

Hiromi groaned.

“C’mon, c’mon!” Asuma hissed, shaking him.  Well, as much as he could shake the big man.  “You’re curious too, right?”

Hiromi groaned again.

“What?  It’s gotta be you, it’d sound weird coming from anyone else!”

Groan.

“You’re nonthreatening, man, you’re like a big teddy bear, you listen to people and care about their feelings and stuff!”

 ___

Notes:

Asuma bullies Hiromi into discreetly asking Noa cus Hiromi’s nonthreatening (like a big teddy bear)...Noa misinterprets & thinks Hiromi’s asking her out?

Ota thinks crush talk and/or dating a coworker is super unprofessional but now he can’t stop thinking about it either, is jealous that no one’s hitting on him?  Starts alternately peacocking & being really irritable? Demands Noa and Kanuka rate the men in terms of attractiveness and then immediately gets mad cus that’s so dumb?

Noa keeps hanging out w Shige after work, looking at Alphonse’s schematics...he tries to ask her on like an actual date and she’s disappointed? Goes anyways (& went with Hiromi too)?? Now everyone’s really confused??? Asuma asks her out too???

Kanuka’s stoically scornful, like “are you all that desperate for a woman?” (like they’re all crowding around Noa cus she’s one of the only girls they know, and/or comparing it to kids who don’t want a toy until they see someone else play with it)  Hiromi’s just really embarrassed and too shy to admit to Noa that there’d been a misunderstanding

Shinshi’s glad that everyone’s thinking seriously about their romantic futures

Shige & Asuma start getting weirdly competitive and start going on like trio dates where they keep one-upping each other and/or Noa thinks it’s a group hang and invites the others along

Eventually Kanuka just spells out to Noa what’s going on & she’s really surprised and embarrassed. Admits she was so shy and cagey with Shige cus she didn’t want anyone making fun if her for looking at Alphonse “naked” (since he was a mechanic, he’d understand the fascination)

[hua-fei-hua]

Chaos Theory

AO3 | FF.net

Word Count: 1,183

It was rare to catch Momo Yaoyorozu unprepared. Her planning was always meticulous and always accounted for dozens of potential deviations, so the idea of her forgetting something was practically unheard of (and if she ever did forget anything, she would simply make it with her quirk).

However, Yaoyorozu's plans always were geared more towards the bigger picture. Shoto had noticed in their years of knowing each other that for all her perpetual preparation, she would sometimes take the details for granted, resulting in circumstances that all but fell apart due to a tiny shift in the initial conditions. (Obviously, that never stopped her from saving the day with something new thrown together on the fly, but the fact still stood that this was a thing that happened sometimes.)

Weather was a classic model of this concept.

For example, today it was raining. It hadn't exactly been the day's expected weather, but with all the variables that went into its determination, meteorology walked a fine line between art and science. When the first the first few drops fell outside at the end of Shoto's shift, he simply sighed, brought out his tiny, spare umbrella, and resigned himself to a fate of damp socks and cold hands.

Yaoyorozu's agency was on the way to the train station, and Shoto often liked to stop and chat with her if they happened to meet. It was nice to keep in contact with his high school friends, even if it was usually just small talk. He'd actually become a little proud of his ability to small talk these days, since he was disastrously bad at it in high school.

Today, he found her standing in the doorway with one hand stuck out so as to catch the raindrops as they fell. She looked tired, washed-out even, and he wondered what was wrong. She didn't even seem to notice him approaching until he verbally greeted her.

She quickly withdrew her hand, blinking rapidly as she registered his presence. "Oh, hello, Todoroki-san," she said, just a little bit of life returning to her eyes. "How are you today?"

Shoto stared at her. He'd used her for practice in reading people and their moods back in high school, and as a result, he could tell within seconds what had happened. "Do you need an umbrella?" he asked.

Immediately, Yaoyorozu deflated into a mix of sheepishness and the resignation from before. "Yeah," she admitted. "It was a long day today, and I gave my backup to one of my coworkers. I was just waiting for the snacks to kick in and get me to a position where I could make a new one."

Shoto sighed, walked right up to the door frame, and held out the only thing he had. "Come here," he said.

Yaoyorozu's eyes widened, and she took a step back, into the building. "Oh no, you don't have to. I don't want you to get sick because you walked around in the rain. I'll be fine. I'll just be home a little later, that's all."

"We'll just share it."

Yaoyorozu looked away and said nothing, suddenly and strangely timid. Shoto sighed and took another step forward, holding out the umbrella again. He was lucky there was a roof over the agency's doorsteps, otherwise he would have been letting himself get drenched in the rain. "The number of creepers on the train goes up the later it gets."

Yaoyorozu looked away again, more pointedly this time.

Shoto lowered the umbrella and looked off to the side himself. "Look, just… let me see you home today. At least a part of the way. I don't want you to risk a bad encounter because you got on a later train." He kept his eyes on the ground for a few more seconds, then brought them back to Yaoyorozu. He held out his hand with the umbrella one last time.

Yaoyorozu's expression loosened. She stepped forward and stood straight again. "Okay," she said, her voice as soft as the smile on her face.

"It's a bit small, so you're going to have to stick close to me," warned Shoto.

"That's fine," said Yaoyorozu, slipping her arm through his so as to keep them close. "I think I like it this way."

(Then why did you hesitate for so long? Shoto wondered.)

Shoto hummed, buying himself a few seconds to get used to her sudden warmth. "Well, let's go then," he said, and they started off.

Sharing an umbrella was clumsier than he expected. They had to learn to walk in time with one another, bodies pressed together so as to minimize the amount of shoulder that got wet. Puddles in particular posed the unique challenge of synchronizing short jumps when they were too large for two people to comfortably go around, which was often.

It was actually a lot of fun. It felt like there was never a dull moment on the way to the train station, and Shoto felt himself becoming drawn in by Yaoyorozu's excitability as her liveliness returned. It was easy to smile, hanging out with her like this.

The train station was before them sooner than what felt normal, and before Shoto knew it, they were sitting together on the train, heading home.

Yaoyorozu yawned and rested her head upon his shoulder. It seemed that the day's exhaustion was catching up to her again. Shoto said nothing and remained still for her, moving only when they reached her station (and to occasionally glance down at her sleeping).

She yawned as they stepped onto the platform. "I'll be okay from here," she said as she formed an umbrella for herself. "Thank you, Shoto. I had a lot of fun."

"It was nothing," replied Shoto, already kind of missing her warmth and also wondering why she chose to call him by his hero name now of all times.

"I'm off this Thursday. Let me take you somewhere so I can pay you back."

Shoto shifted off to the side, looking at the ceiling. "You don't have to do that."

"Please? I want to."

With a sigh, Shoto faced her again. "All right, if it's important to you."

Yaoyorozu's face lit up. "I had my number changed recently, but I'll text you the details," taking his hand and writing on it with a newly-made pen. When she let go, Shoto felt his hand drop down to his side, feeling bizarrely dumbfounded.

"It's a date, then!" she said as she capped the pen. She flashed him one more giddy grin. "I'll see you Thursday, Todoroki-san~!"

Shoto watched her run off as though they were teenagers again. Was she speaking literally? He wouldn't have minded if that were the case, but she played the whole thing off so casually that he wasn't sure.

He pulled out his phone to update her number but paused when he noticed she had signed off with an obvious heart at the end. (There went the question of her intent.) He laughed to himself as he updated her contact information.

He’d fallen for her hook, line, and sinker.

[l0chn3ss]

Color Me Red: A MaStar Reverb, 2018

View Art by @happyisahabit​: [Artwork]

Read Story by @l0chn3ss​: [Read Here: FFNET | AO3]

Bonus Recordings by @fynneyseas ♪

Betaworks by @psychadelicrose ♥

Chapter 3: Crystal is the color of reflection, of intention [ x ] 

Maka entered the pharmacists’ office with Black Star trailing behind her. To her surprise, he had made it through an entire week of following her around without ever meeting her superiors. That needed to change, Maka thought, especially if he was planning to stick around.

“Over here,” she said to him, gesturing into another room to the side. “Past this point, only authorized personnel can enter so I’m not sure--”

“As the young prince’s page, I’m allowed anywhere that he is,” Black Star grinned.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“I’m pretty sure it is.”

Regardless of if he was permitted or not, he brushed past her through the open doors without a care and despite her protests. As Maka found out earlier in the week, Black Star was as impatient as he was cocky, his first impression as tame as it got. She struggled to keep his ego in check, but in all honesty, she hoped that his encounter with her coworkers would humble him.

In character and without looking where he was walking, he collided right into a child who was running past the door, causing their head to bump into his stomach and then fall from the impact.

He yelped in surprise but was too late to catch them, watching them land on their bottom with a squeak. Everything went still for a moment as the shock registered, and she quickly moved passed him to get to the kid.

“Sorry for him, boss.” Maka squatted down until she was eye-level. “He’s my new troublemaker.”

“Boss?” Black Star blinked incredulously.

“Damn right, I am!” the little voice called out, tone not matching the squeak that came from her mouth. She rubbed her forehead where he hit her, rolling on her knees and clutching the edge of her dress with a small fist. “I should have you thrown out!”

Before Black Star could properly respond to that outburst, another child seemed to appear out of nowhere.

“You fell, Angie,” they said softy, tugging at the sleeves of the girl in an effort to help her up.

“No thanks to this idiot here.” She shot Black Star a look of disdain.

“Listen, if you hadn’t been in the way--”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” she exclaimed indignantly.

Raising her hands in a surrendering fashion, Maka said, “It’s no one’s fault,” before she was quickly interrupted by the girl.

“What are you even doing here?” she targeted at Black Star. “Authorized people only. Did you read the sign on the door? Can you read at all? I’m twelve and I learned how to read!”

Sputtering, he replied in a frazzled voice, “I-- I can read!”

“Then do you have a cut?” She paused to wait for his head shake before continuing. “An owie? Are you hurt? Sick? You got someone who is? No? Then you have no business here! Get out!” she screeched, stomping up to him and giving him a resounding kick to his nether regions.

Black Star’s eyes went glassy, and he bent over and dropped like a sack of potatoes, shaking. No scream managed to escape from his mouth, but his hands flew quickly to his crotch, face turning red before he buried it into the carpet below him.

It was time for Maka to step in again.

“Now now,” she began, “he’s actually here to meet you all.”

If the girl were a puppy, her ears would’ve perked up. “Meet me?”

“Yes, you, and Feir, and Lila, and Kilik.”

“I’ll go get him,” the other child said to no one in particular, sneaking away.

“Oh.” The girl flipped her short hair over her shoulder and returned to Black Star, looking down at him directly and sizing him up as he struggled to even glance in her direction. “I’m Angela Leon! The Chameleon Witch of Clarines! You can’t have an autograph but you can bask in my presence!”

It didn’t seem like Black Star heard her, so she repeated it again with the same amount of conviction. It took that second time for Maka to realize how utterly beat he was, so she stopped Angie from delivering her introduction a third time and instead helped Black Star to a lounge chair nearby. She patted his hand in pity until he regained awareness.

Only after his spirit re-entered his body did Angie grace him with the third round of the same statement, this time with a little less power than the others.

Maka further explained, “They--”

“Who’s they?” Black Star said weakly.

“They call her the chameleon witch because of how compatible and flexible she is with different medicines and procedures. There’s really no one else who is specialized in no specialty, so Angie is a kid genius,” Maka nodded to Black Star, checking in with Angie every so often for confirmation.

“You got that right! Good minion,” she patted Maka on the leg-- the highest she could reach without spending so much effort.

“So,” Black Star began carefully, “You’re the boss?”

“Y--”

“That would be me, not that little scamp,” said a new voice.

Maka laughed when Black Star jumped in his seat, following the voice to its owner, a young man in a white coat and black framed glasses. Behind him were two similar looking children who followed after him like ducklings, one a little more shy than the other.

“Ah, you were free after all,” Maka teased.

“Well, if Lila is the only asking me to come, then I can’t refuse her.”

The young child clinging to the young man’s left side was the same as before, a short girl who peeked behind his leg to look over at Black Star. She nodded at the sound of her name but didn’t come out from her hiding place.

“Did you say ‘Hi’ yet, Lila?” he asked, patting her back.

“Hi,” she said, sinking deeper behind the young man.

“What’s your name?” he urged once more, providing it only when she proved to be too timid to say herself. “This is Lila, and her brother is--”

“I’m Feir,” the second kid said, eyes wide and curious, already approaching Black Star in his seat. “Lila is my twin. Uncle Kilik is taking care of me and her.”

Black Star looked to their caretaker questioningly, “And I assume that’s you?”

“Correct, though they’re also my aids.”

“Is it safe for them to be around so many… poisons?”

Kilik hummed, “To put it simply, their mother-- my sister-- is currently filling in for the head researcher at Lyrias, so I think it’ll be fine.”

“O-oh.”

“Regardless, welcome to the Pharmacists’ office, Black Star. I heard you were looking after Maka as she trains. She’s mentoring with Angie,” Kilik nodded towards pharmacist, “and I’m the head of our department. The Young Prince already sent notice, so where Maka’s allowed, you are, too.”

“Ha,” Black Star said in stage whisper to Maka. “Even better.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t fight him. Instead, she could see that he was far out of his comfort zone, overwhelmed with the amount of new faces and the nature of their greetings. But if he were sticking around like he told her before, he may as well get to know the people who Maka would be working closest with. He didn’t look like he knew how to start or introduce himself, so Maka decided to do it for him.

Gesturing to him, Maka cleared her throat and announced, “May I introduce, Black Star, ex-assassin, page of the young prince.”

He stood up and added tentatively, “And appointed bodyguard of Maka, Court Pharmacist In-training.”

“Self-appointed bodyguard,” Maka sniffed. “And! Self-appointed page!”

Despite smiling at her ire, he seemed worried from his introduction. He didn’t know what to say after that, but instead of letting the silence settle in the room, Lila came closer to him.

In the way she did, she asked innocently, “Do you need an ointment for your penis? It’s maybe swollen.”

As though the ice had broken, Black Star turned pink and dropped his formal facade. He looked to Kilik before responding, “It-- I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Kilik said, concerned.

“Really-- I’m fine.”

Lila patted his lap. “Angie’s kicks hurt. Kilik knows, too.”

“No seriously, it doesn’t hurt anymore. My dick is good.”

Angie snorted, “We aren’t talking about a ‘Richard,’ you illiterate.”

Black Star snapped, “I know that--”

“You kicked an assassin, Angie.”

“He’s an ex-assassin because he sucks at his job, then.”

“I don’t--”

“Look!” Feir laughed, pointing at Black Star. “He’s as red as Maka’s hair!”

Looking over to check, Maka saw that there was some truth to the statement. What little they were able to see of Black Star’s face was completely flushed, and he turned redder at the attention that he gathered. What a poor guy.

“At least I’m not some five year old running around the office like a hazard!”

“I’m twelve, not deaf!” Angie screeched, swinging her leg back for another kick before anyone else could stop her.

<– Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 –>