#hskdskjebfef this feels kind of ooc

[xxwithlovefromfaexx]

YOU and HIM

I’m out here bringing my shooters for mc, fuck adam

I actually wrote this before looking back at the YOU and HIM fandom before I posted this and WHOO this one is like...the even worse end for that angst ask that was sent into the vn page imo. This is not a peace offering to adam sjkdbfebfk

Also I’m sorry if Adam seems sort of ooc??? I wrote this purely from a YOU perspective, so if it’s not quite in canon its more bc its how YOU percieve him (at least in this fic, and for the purposes of this one)

WARNINGS: violence, physical abuse (mainly threat of, but you are holding him down here), sadism, guilt, kinda reads like a revenge plot villian arc ngl??? DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT!!

Finally, you held the power. After humiliating yourself to him, servicing the man that held your mind captive for so long.

After giving your sanity to the man that took you from your normal life, stole away your freedom, tore a hole through your regular life just to carve himself into it, you could finally be free.

You could taste it on your lips. It felt liberating, and part of you wished to leave him at merely that. Just to walk out of his life in an instant, as fast as he’d gripped onto you and pulled you into his storm.

But you knew you wouldn't be fully satisfied with that. How could you?

That freedom felt more than liberating, to you. It was intoxicating. And for the amount of pain that he had rattled into your numb bones, this was a feast to your starving eyes. The look of disbelief and shock in his eyes sent you spiraling. You were far from finished. Far, far from satisfied. You wanted more of him.

You wanted his fear to ripple through your body and swarm your insides, coating you in a liquid pleasure. His tears would be a lovely touch, you thought to yourself as you licked your lips at the thought.

You wanted to see him break, just as he'd broken you. You wanted to bridle him and train him just to break him all over again, for daring to think he'd figured you out. Just like he did to you.

“I could forgive you, sure. But, I don’t know if I want to give you that side of me, y’know?” You could hear the smile creeping into your words as you dangled the words so carelessly in front of his calculating eyes. 

Nothing could stop the grin forming on your face now, splitting into the sides of your cheeks. You could tell why he so loved, adored, putting your through this pain.

This feeling...above him now, holding the power he would hold so closely to your throat. The otherwise silent and quick way out- one that he had teased and prodded at you for weeks, months, however long this cat and mouse game had gone on for. 

You had felt so helpless, scrambling for an exit, useless to whatever he had planned for you around the corner. And within it all, you had truly felt yourself give up. You had all but left your body in those moments. It was the only way you could've survived it, in hindsight.

Somehow, your body persisted. It had held strong for that one precious moment, where he finally let his guard down, enough for you to take control. 

For you to allow your mind to once again be present. 

To piece yourself together after every time he broke you. 

Enough for the glint in his eyes to glean with hints of a weakness, that weakness that he would silently admit to you within your most intimate hell. 

That one precious moment that you finally, finally grasped in the palm of your hand. A moment of control.

This feeling, it was...exhilarating. Overwhelming. Consuming. Your body was humming with energy, and you needed to expel it from you somehow.

“You...please...” the soft wobble in his tone was something you shouldn’t have picked up on, had you not been so close to him to hear it. And you wished you didn’t.

You should have been prepared for him to unearth some part of empathy you held for him in you. 

The look of shock had waivered into a look of...regret? As if he should’ve never plunged that knife into you long ago. You should have cackled at that. The two of you were truly past that by now.

It really wasn’t like you to be this...hateful. Resentful. You always tried to understand, regardless of the pain somebody put you through. Because even thought it would never take the pain away, it would make it a far easier burden to bear. Right?

That’s what you had told yourself. Time and time again. From traumatic experience to the painful memories of your past...maybe this was your breaking point.

If he was regretful, if he held shame on the pain and fear he’d caused to you ever since that fateful day...so be it. You wanted to cherish at least some part of that for yourself.

After all, it was him who made you this way. He'd thrust you into this. He thrust you into...this decision...into the actions you’d made, into the person you had become but could barely recognize. He did that to you.

Didn’t he?

No, you realized.

He wasn't capable of that. 

This was a person that you'd let him push you into. 

It was necessary, you'd admitted to yourself. There was no way your weakened mind could handle all of this before his incessant meddling. The high that you were on now was only something you'd achieved through letting yourself break to his will.

So you laughed. You let loose, embracing the shrill, howling laughter that echoed through you, that shook your body to your core. You could feel the vibrations it sent through his body. 

You pushed yourself deeper into his skin, deep enough to bruise. You pushed yourself down onto his elbows, and he let out a grunt in pain. You tutted at the sound, as let your voice drop to nothing but a sweet whisper in his ear.

“Maybe things could have been a whole lot different. If you never thought to put at knife into me, for one,” The growl that followed through with your words made him flinch at the sound. You smiled.

“If you’d never thought to hunt me down to the ends of my sanity. Maybe I’d even try to understand you. To love you,” Your eye twitched as you leaned down close to his, so close you could feel his shallow breath on your skin.

“I suppose I can forgive you. After all, you've given me nothing but time already. Don't worry, darling. I've been through your hell. Now, I think it's time I showed you mine,” You let out a dry chuckle, and sat back for a moment with a deep inhale.

That feeling of power was overtaking your senses, and your legs pushed him into a vice like grip. You couldn't get too cocky now; it would be embarrassing if he knocked you off of him when you were only just getting started here. You knew too well that even this was a vulnerable state to be in.  

You could get lost in it-just like he had, not even moments before.

Back when the tables were turned, when it was you fighting for your life and everything that you held dear seemed to be escaping your grasp like falling sand in your fingertips.

This time you weren't helpless to Adam’s unforeseen desires. Now it was you who held everything. And you didn't want to lose that. You wouldn't fall for the same tricks you played on him.

So where should you hurt him first?