#human resources are finite okay. the people are still important no matter the cause. there is no cause worth sacrificing ppl's health over

[leaving-fragments]

the transition from knowing something in theory vs knowing it through lived experience stays a surprising experience every time

[jatamansi-arc]

so, the second time i watched annihilation, i have a lot of feelings about it. like a lot lot. and i’m not sure if anyone else will agree with me, but i’m gonna fucking dump all my notes here so i can come back to them here and see how i feel about them in subsequent viewings.

i really love the movie, though. i liked it the first time, but i loved it this time. so much. definitely one of my favorite movies ever. maybe actually up there with everything is illuminated with being my actual favorite.

spoilers, y’all.

the first time you watch this movie, you walk away blown away, going AAAAaaaaAAaaAHGFJ about it. the second time you watch it? they aren’t kidding when they say everything has double meanings. literally everything does. i think that’s half the reason that makes it so much fun to slowly dissect.

annihilation isn’t a story about depression, though i can see how it’d be read that way very easily. there are tons of elements that would lead you to that conclusion. rather, i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s one about the competition between our tendency for self-destruction and our capacity to forgive. it’s a love story.

the most important thing that annihilation repeatedly touches on, is really playing with philosophical and allegorical extremes and dismantling them. the question of whether something is a scientific proof or a sign of faith is posed to lena several times in the film, and the question is never answered but carefully balanced. and it’s shown time and time and time again, in sweeping scale and in minute details. for example: ventress, the pinnacle of the rational and higher thought, has a name that draws its source from a term meant to show someone’s ability to take brazen risks. she takes her notes when talking to lena with artist grade sketching pencils. ventress’ mask is good, but she is desperate dreamer who wants to see what lies beyond the shimmer before her body takes the chance from her.

all of the main characters’ names, however, were picked very specifically. 

lena: short for helena, which can be taken to mean ‘torch.’ there’s the whole thing about helen of troy eloping and causing the trojan war to bring her home, too. but more importantly, i firmly believe it’s also a play on the hela cell line.

anya: ties to anna, a prophetess of the bible, who preached of redemption and experienced deep loss early in her life.

cass: short for cassandra, another prophetess, but one who was cursed so that her words wouldn’t be heeded until it was too late. she was also connected to troy.

josie: josephine is the feminine form of joseph, and the father of jesus is the patron saint of contentful death, and is almost always displayed surrounded in his field by flowers meant to represent purity and resurrection.

kane: from o catháin, which means war like or battle. 

everyone in kane’s group had a surname that has been shared among three kinds of famous people in every instance: a scientist, a religious scholar, and an author. it was weird enough to note.

area x is in an area that’s remote and has alligators, but the thing that makes it interesting, is that bears and alligators don’t have much overlapping territory. this means if it wasn’t already a giant red fucking flag to begin with, our furry friend is a composite from the shimmer.

the shimmer may be alien or it may be biblical; the reality of it doesn’t much matter. what it does, is take the cells of the dead and dying and recycle them. when ventress talks about how a shark and alligator are clearly intermingling genetically and lena dismisses it, lena isn’t wrong, but lena’s error is that she’s not thinking broadly enough.

cass is the first one to drop the hint, right after we get lena talking about the bruise that she gets with the fight with the alligator. it’s where the tattoo would eventually be later on -- except there is a hitch. cass is also clearly skeptical of this, and it reads easily on her face, before she talks about her daughter dying of leukemia and how she died, emotionally, with her. it’s a hint that lena’s cells immediately begin to mutate once this happened. whatever the shimmer is, it takes hox genes, which are what hold the entirety of our genomes, and is trying to manipulate and recode what it can with what’s available. this isn’t evolution, but a sort of intelligent design with very limited resources and a finite understanding of what it’s doing. it’s creating immortal cell lines, though, and the hints are dropped about five thousand times over.

the man that kane and his crew kill likely had cancer. look at how prolifically his cells were mutating before he died, and his complete lack of reaction while being otherwise vivisected. what’s even more interesting is that ventress, who otherwise never gives a fucking shit about anyone, is visibly shaken for the only time in the movie. she was the one who was in charge of area x. she knew about everyone going in there. it’s much more likely she’d have an investment in knowing what happened to someone else who was ‘self-destructing’ for a similar reason to her.

once she has her answer, it’s straight back to business.

the reason the bear is tragic -- and ultimately horrific -- is because it was spliced together from bits and pieces of dna by a being that has never seen a fucking bear besides the hyperstylized one that was on kane’s chest. it wanted to build what it saw. it was curious. it looks like his tattoo; look at it closer when you get a chance.

it’s furthermore meant to represent kane’s fear. absorbing cass’ voice as its call is only meant to really drive the metaphor home, and to make josie’s decision in the next arc all the more poignant.

the symbolism behind the bear, by the by, is a lot of things. most important is the duality of the male and female. it’s one of the rare animals that represents both sexes. bears also represent a desire for answers and, again, resurrection. 

and when looking for cass, lena sees two deer, who are again another rare animal who represent both sexes and are oftentimes portents of death and a hope for a return to life after that death.

anya’s role in these scenes is important because they’re allegorical. the implication that lena’s and kane’s addiction to their careers is what kept them apart is certainly clear, and it’s not just casual happenstance that anya self-destructs in a house that’s a carbon copy of kane’s and lena’s home. anya’s death is meant to represent breaking the cycle of addiction (even if you’re terrified) and the beginning of the resurrection of kane and lena’s relationship. she was the paramedic, after all.

she’s also meant to stand in for kane here, because her words are meant to be accusatory towards lena, as if it were kane saying them about her cheating. 

“ you don’t get to ask that question, you lying bitch! you get to answer it!”

“what we know now -- what we know, is that lena is a liar.”

^ that one is really fucking important okay

who delivers the death blows against the bear is important. it’s josie. young, doe-eyed and fresh faced josie who is full of life and has dedicated her life to studying the science understanding the interactions between matter. who eventually gives her life over to the entire process, but not before saying something really important to lena:

‘imagine dying in fear. i wouldn’t like that at all.”

THAT’S GONNA BE RELEVANT HERE SHORTLY HANG ON.

by the by: lena finds out her humanity is slowly leaving her at the same table where we see kane time and time again. kane’s self-destruction is external while lena’s is internal, at least at the time. 

josie, anya and lena are not impacted in the same way that kane, vertress and other clearly sick people who have gone into the shimmer are. or, at least, not at the same pace. it makes me have the theory that lena thought kane learned that she was cheating, but kane was perhaps hiding something much worse. there could be a lot said about what guilt does to people, on both sides. they may have both been hiding things. it really twists the whole plot to an interesting angle if the reason kane was sitting, so melancholic and distant, was not because he knew about lena and daniel, but because he was angry and upset at himself for not being able to tell his wife that he may have been seriously ill. it may also be why the clone of him suddenly crashed once it’d been outside, in the real world, as well?

it further tells an interesting tale if you read that dying in the shimmer causes a far faster progression of mutation and, in a sense, almost a sort of dementia. kane may have lost himself entirely over the course of what felt like 10-12 days, knowing very little in the end other than he truly loved lena.

regardless of my theories on it, the shimmer is still literally kane’s feelings of adoration towards lena on display. if you debate me on this point i will fucking fight you.

coming back to allegory: kane’s self-immolation was meant to represent genesis and the big bang. lena’s fight with clone!lena is a battle with what’s meant to be the perils of knowledge (and forgiveness/grief, I think, honestly) and her eventual departure from what’s clearly meant to be a garden of eden metaphor. the phosphorus grenade, the second time around, is meant to be the fruit of knowledge.

it was clone!lena that survived imho, because original!lena didn’t have the tattoo by that point. clone!lena did the instant she was made. and the instant whatever lena did survive made it outside, she pulled down her sleeves.

when she’s being asked questions at the end, she literally mimics clone!kane to perfection. she even drinks the water, with the hint in the glass that two become one via the pooling on the side of the glass. it’s, furthermore, a throwback and lead-in to the next scene, serving as a reminder to the very beginning of the movie when lena talks about how cells reproduce. one becoming two, two becoming four, etc. but as one of my friends said, sometimes two need to become one first. GOOD POINT IT WAS A GOOD POINT.

in the end, it really didn’t matter which lena survived, because lena’s an unreliable narrator and ultimately lying to get exactly what she wants. if they knew the reality, they’d never let them be in a room together. the book talks about biological imperatives a lot and the movie deviates pretty strongly from it, but this was an instance where you definitely get exactly that vibe. this is adam and eve on a whole new, cosmic scale.

when she asks kane if he’s himself and he says no, he returns the favor. lena doesn’t answer the question. kane’s facial expressions are very telling, but i’m not going to tell you what they are if you didn’t see them. then we get the shimmer eyes and it makes me very happy okay.

the amount of fucking times the immortal life of henrietta lacks is referenced in this movie DRIVES ME BATTY but in a good way??