#i also forgot about who the narrator is and when he started talking it jumpscared me

[warlordfelwinter]

endwalker replay more like i am going to make you all look at 800 screenshots of fiver making the same facial expression in different outfits and locations because i could stare at him all day

[thefatdrunkdragon]

The Worst RPer I have ever met (Nemo Saga Chapter 3)

 Okay, so let’s talk about the first worst RP and my worst Idea first. The Spooky RP.

 This idea should be on the list of unlikely and terrible crossover ideas ever. Simply imagine Spooky’s House of Jumpscares except no 1000 rooms, the layout is more akin to the Arklay Mansion and the spooky monsters that hunt you down are replaced with the Zeds from Killing Floor 2. This was during a time in my life where I had worse ideas in mind, and while I am not fully better, I’m slowly improving the ideas and concepts of something else before I end up doing the mistake of writting the “Life is Eldritch” Fanfiction... ANYWAY!

 The Plot of this RP I told to Nemo was that my Characters had taken over a small abandoned mansion and turned into an a haunted house attraction where an AI would sorta pick what monster comes out while a female character named Kate decides to do the voices to do some kind of a twisted warning about it. I told it to Nemo and he accepted it. Only because it had spooky and he was a big fan of Markiplier. And don’t worry, Markiplier doesn’t make a cameo.

 Anyway, we begin this RP tale in October 30th, where the next day would soon be Velora’s Birthday (yi-fucking-pey). After some random bullshit where some dude through coffee on Velora’s Face for no reason, Everyone goes to the Mansion near the Villa.

Short Explanation: The Villa is a small abandoned “Town” that was half finished and forgotten by the government. The few buildings finished are just the town plaza and the Mansion own by a man who’s name is forgotten. The mansion is the setting for this RP.

 Anyway, they go in, dressed as a bunch of Emo’s and are told the rules. Nemo thought he was being sneaky when he and his mommy sues brought guns but I counter acted this by telling them that the monsters were incapable of harming them and in having a gun, they deprive themselves of the horror of a Haunted Mansion.

 But then fucking suddenly, Anathalia’s Archnemesis, Adelie (Brothel Owner lady), shows up and takes Anathalia. But Nemo then handcuffs her and the police take her away.

This won’t be the last time this shit happens.

 Within minutes we show them the mansion and how it works. While he was trying to push me into having Exposition dumped into my face, I tried to introduce the RP’s Main threat, the Spooky Hologram (I’ll explain what the fuck I was trying to do at the end of the story, because explaining everything here is confusing.) Needless to say, I forgot to mention to Nemo that this RP, while taking the title of Spooky, was a complete diversion from the games but he is still convincing himself he played through this game and it’s nothing.

 So the objective of this haunted mansion thing was to have people choose a direction and try to go through with it. Think of it like an escape room, except you’re trying to escape the house from mutants who can’t fully hurt you but can give you one hell of scare with their wails and hissing. Nemo and Velora chose the Basement while Anathalia chose the Second Floor. And then the games started.

 Then fucking suddenly, Adelie shows up (No details about how the fuck she escaped) and asks around for Anathalia to bring her back the brothel (Because kidnapping a “famous celebrity”, and doing so is more trouble than it’s worth!) and Nemo decided to have Kate (The person that we both created and the voice of the Spooky Hologram) go and try to defend Anathalia. It was there where Anathalia decided to choose Kate as another candidate, but Aiden and Ruby (Aiden being a sort of avatar of mine and Ruby being an obvious nod to an artist I like and a Female Dragon) tried to defuse the situation but Nemo comes and tries to stop the situation by threatening Adelie with a gun (Yeah, dipshit ignored da rules of the mansion and somehow had another gun.) But before anything could go any further, The cops show up and she is taken to a jail in paris yet again. Making this whole conflict pointlessly unnecessary.

 Meanwhile, Nemo and his mommy sues returned to the Maze and he keeps brushing off minor things that aren’t being part of the game as part of the game. I know it’s a sort of method for us to calm the fuck down but he was so smug about how the “escape mansion” was just like the Spooky game. Until he reached the laboratory, where the Killing Floor Zeds were being stored and manufactured. He at first brushed it off, until the lights of the lab came on and he saw them all, these hideous freaks all moving around in their cages, waiting for an opportunity to tear into him like a lion on a gazelle.

 He still continued to brush it off, but it was there where the Hologram made it clear that No one in the control room is doing this, it is now running the show and will now unleash these freaks for its own amusement. But leave it to Nemo to try and deflate the scary moment by adding in fucking “bachata” music (Bachata being a sort social dance music for us latinos). I wanted to go with a sort of dark like tone and he just adds unnecessary BS like this and just ruins it.

 It is after that the spooky AI was going to decide to unleash the monsters on them and he would have to escape the mansion with his life. 

Big. Fucking. NOPE

 He teleports away to safety, ruining the conflict so bad that I argued for a re-do because it was that insulting. I know It sounds annoying but jesus christ! I shouldn’t have done this because all I did was prolong the agony further.

 Anyway, It was there where Spooky had tried to force Nemo and his Mary Sues to pick a path and stick to it. His mary sues had the attention span of toddlers because they ignore everything she says, asks her about what is it like being a ghost (Despite the fact I told him in the beginning it was a Hologram.) and then I decided to pull a Deus Ex Machina out of my Ass and just have her ZAP away their powers. Nemo’s Response?

 Nemo(From the Archived RP I had): Did you know you can't do that to me, right? I'm different.

 Ofcourse he doesn’t want to play fair. Ofcourse, OFCOURSE! He has to act like he’s such a SPECIAL AND UNIQUE Snow flake. I was so sickened by this that instead of teleporting away, he just rushed the scary moments of being chased by the Zeds and then he escaped to the control room. Where the dipshit begins to change the subject to an unimportant side plot about how Adelie found Anathalia. I won’t explain the details, but it had something to do with a Hot Topic employee being a spy for Adelie and such bullshit.

 I broke character as Aiden, so tired of this inane bullshit, decides to grab a rifle, arm Eddie and an unpaid janitor, to go down the basement and take care of the monsters before they get out and then, just because I realized how much of a fucking mistake both the RP and the attraction was, I would burn down the mansion. Nemo gets offended that we were going to destroy the mansion and tells us to leave. So we do, and Nemo then decides that the next logical solution is to MURDER MY FUCKING CHARACTER and throw his body out of the rooftop of the mansion, ignoring all the other characters trying to kill him.

 But it’s okay gais! Because it turns out it was a Demon call Jack, Who was making him do the bad thing and Nemo has the most anti-climatic battle. I wanna take this moment to take another quote from the RP. Because I never noticed it and now that I do, I find it so hilarious

His friends like Ruby, Anathalia and Kate are in shock. What will they do without (Nemo)? They'll never know.

 Well, I can tell you one thing. Ruby would not miss someone who just happened to have Killed their friend in cold blood when there was never a sign of this possesion to begin with!

 So after an anticlimatic battle that could fit in the confines of a tweet, Nemo defeats the Demon and the day was saved. And he swept away all the problems by reviving my character and had all of my characters go “Oh, It wasn’t Nemo, it was a demon! He was the good guy all along.” And then there was a party.

 Aiden, Despite being revived by his “Saviour” has not forgotten his goal. So I told everyone to get ready for a big firework display. And everyone gave their stupid recommendations.

 At first the house had a minor explosion, before the memories of that shitty night were erased in a massive ball of fire. Bringing a huge smile on my face and an angry Nemo on my character’s face. He got into some whiny bullshit about how he would buy the land and rebuild it for the Vampire Clan or some Bullshit, and since the Vampire Clan was so Big and Important to the government, I took it a step further by lighting the flag on fire and telling him “I’ll call you for a war declaration later.” He repeats how I’m offending the vampire overlords but I told him I never gave a fuck. And he just flipped my character off.

 and that was the worst RP I have ever had with Nemo, and it sure as Shit would not be the last.

And now... A brief explanation on what in the actual fuck was the POINT of the Spooky RP:

 The idea for the Spooky RP was inspired by my experience playing KF2 on a free weekend on Steam while also learning about Spooky’s House Of Jumpscares. So I had a thought: Why not have an RP where there is a sort of Spooky Esque character trying to narrate your “demise” while also being chased by zeds. Although not mentioned in the RP, the origins of the Zeds come from the Mansions “Laboratory” level below the Basement, and when Aiden and Eddie first found it, they were stuck down the for a day until they shredded their way out. It was there where Aiden had the bright idea of creating the escape mansion to make a quick buck. But since they can’t just go and kill them, the characters decide that the best course of action is to lead the zeds out of the basement, trap it and try to declaw or detooth them, due to how dangerous those parts can be. As the mansion was built and the AI was already created, the AI went through an “Ultron Phase” as I like to call it, looking through video footage of the somehow working cameras of the mansion and seeing both Eddie and Aiden harming this creatures for entertainment purposes. So it plotted their demise and its plan to release the creatures out into the streets of Puerto Rico just for giggles. How the “Spooky AI” spoke was by replicating a lot of Kates Vocals and then mimicking it in a same pitch and everything. Yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense but I tried to atleast come up with a good idea before it got ruined horribly.

I should’ve quit after the SteamPunk disaster but I guess I’m responsible for my own demise when it comes to bad RPs. And like a masochist, I just kept coming for more.