#i also get to be like haha. little skye was fucking bad at this game. also this game is janky as fuck theres so many like. strange glitches

[goldiipond]

they gotta stop making new video games man these things consume your life (he is playing a game that came out in 2011)

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

-

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 

-

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

-

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

-

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

-

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

-

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

-

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

-

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

-

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

-

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

-

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

-

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

-

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 

-

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 

-

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

-

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

-

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

-

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 

-

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

-

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

-

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

-

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

-

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

-

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

-

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

-

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

-

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

-

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

-

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

-

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

-

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 

-

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

-

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

-

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

-

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

-

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

-

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

-

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

-

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

-

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

-

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

-

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

-

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

-

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

-

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

-

ema: can i fuck off now

-

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

-

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

-

“back in the old country”

...england..?

-

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

-

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

-

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

-

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

-

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

-

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

-

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

-

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

-

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

-

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 

-

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

-

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

-

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

-

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

-

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

-

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

-

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

-

why the fuck did he 

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL 

AW YEA

-

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

-

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

-

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

-

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 

-

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

-

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

-

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

-

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

-

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

-

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

-

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

-

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

-

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

-

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

-

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

-

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

-

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

-

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

-

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

-

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

-

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

-

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

-

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

-

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

-

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

-

Huh. 

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

:T

-

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

-

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

-

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

-

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

-

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

-

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

-

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

-

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 

-

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

-

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

o

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

-

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

-

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

-

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

-

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

-

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

-

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

-

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

-

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

-

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

-

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

-

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

-

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

-

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

-

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

-

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting 

-

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

-

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

-

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

-

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

-

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

-

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

-

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

-

oh wait

ah here we go.

-

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

-

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

-

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

-

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

-

what the fuck is his deal with being king

-

OH SHUT UP DURKE 

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

-

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

w

when

-

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

-

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

-

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

-

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 

-

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

-

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

-

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

-

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 

-

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

-

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

-

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

-

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 

-

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

-

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

-

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

-

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

-

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

-

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

-

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 

-

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

-

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

-

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

-

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

[akashiayakashi]

I finished playing SoJ last week and oh boy

[will contain spoilers]

I started playing the game with zero expectations. Gameplay-wise, I really didn’t like Dual Destinies. I felt like the fun from Ace Attorney was taken away and all the evidence and stuff was staring right at you. I finished that game in a day and a half and left it feeling like I blew $30 for very little satisfaction.

Not to mention, I felt like any development Phoenix’ character had from Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice had just disappeared. It’s like the maturity he gained from those years he wasn’t practicing law just vanished. 

On a side note (which is more on a purely preferential reason), my best girls Trucy and Ema had little to no role in this game so I found it even harder to appreciate. To be fair, I did see that they took a step back so that Athena’s and Apollo’s stories could be explored but while I liked the new charas like Athna and Simon enough, I didn’t love love them so eh

On the other hand, SoJ is probably my favorite game of the series so far.

The mix of all previous ace attorney elements (the psychology, the bracelet, the magatama, etc) and the whole seance system did wonders to make the gameplay so much more interesting. It reverted to how you have to be creative in using your evidence since the game is super specific in what it wants to hear. The only real complaint I have is that the game script is really long so it does feel frustrating to go thru dialogue that can be avoided if other evidence could just be presented right away (which is with all other aa games except dd but the script was really just so long).

Storywise, I loved how everything was connected right from the start just like Trials and Tribulations. And even better, the side cases were really good unlike the 3-2 and 3-3 which I will never speak of again. In any case (ha, get it?), the side stories just showed a lot about the main cast. You see Trucy worrying about her legacy and skill as a magician, you see Trucy’s and Apollo’s bond and Apollo’s maturity and growth as a lawyer. You see Athena’s growth as a lawyer as well and how she and Simon have really patched things up.

The overarching story was one hell of a ride. Case 5 in particular was full of parallels. I saw a lot of things coming but DHURKE’S FUCKING SECRET RUINED ME AND I CRIED FOR 30 MIN AT LIKE 1 AM IN THE MORNING BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU BUT HURT ME LIKE THIS. HOW DARE YOU DHURKE HOW D A R E

Anyway parallels~

Khu’rain sisters as the older Fey sisters (Misty and Morgan) and as the Hawthorne sisters.

I mean you have these two sisters competing for a seat of power where one is chill and the other is involved in murder in some way. You also have two sisters where one loves the other a lot and helps said sister despite it being a crime. SHIT GUYS HOW MUCH IT MUST HAVE HURT AMARA TO HAVE CHANNELED DHURKE. THINK ABOUT FOR HOW MUCH SHE LOVED DHRUKE AND THOUGHT THAT HE HAS TRIED TO KILL HER FOR 10 YEARS AND THEN LEARNED IT WAS HER SISTER ALL ALONG BUT SHE HAS NO CHOICE TO CONCEDE BECAUSE RAYFA. DhurkeAmara hurts me like it should all of you. Dhurke hurts me.

Nahyuta and Rayfa as the Skye sisters.

Prosecutor helps out big bad in order to protect younger sister...hmmm :)))

I’m also a lowkey Nahyutema fan so :))

EMA WAS BACK IN THIS GAME AND SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SHE ACHIEVED HER DREAM AND SHE LOVES HER FRIENDS AND I LOVE LIFE. She shits on Nahyuta but doesn’t hate him entirely which made their professional dynamic a pretty interesting one.

Nahyuta could definitely have been a better character but I still enjoyed him. There were moments in the 5th case where it didn’t look like he was forcing himself to support Ga’ran so it made the whole thing seem less believable that he hasn’t changed like Dhurke had kept on insisting. I think his sermons took a bit too much time and slowed down the pace of the cases but I appreciate the times when you can see how dorky he is. Like when he researches on smth and he just learns everything about it?? Cutie pie haha. And how he really appreciates science and how Ema helps him out. I default like someone who appreciates my bae soooo

Dhurke as Phoenix and Apollo

Dhurke parallels Phoenix no doubt with him having to stop practicing lawand adopting a child and raising them - but when he first appeared, I giggled so hard because he looked like Apollo from Dual Destinies. As much as I don’t like that game, I did enjoy the whole Apollo thing where he just went on to investigate on his own and etc and it did add a lot to his character.

Speaking of Apollo, the whole rollercoaster of Apollo’s development and learning about his past killed me. He is best boy no doubt but SHIT I JUST LOVED HIM EVEN MORE IN THIS GAME. WHAT A GREAT GUY.

Also Phoenix grew up a lot in this game? Or at least I felt like he reflected more of aa4 Phoenix than dd did, especially with the whole civil case. 

I missed Klavier tho. I know he’s in a dlc thing but I haven’t gotten around to playing that so eh. I was really looking forward to his chara dev’t since everything but I guess I’ll just need to wait for aa7. 

On a final note, I loved SoJ. It raised the bar for me and broke my heart to pieces. I want to not try and expect too much from aa7 but it’s futile at his point. I really hope we’ll see Apollo in the next game, as well as Klavier, and finally FRANZISKA and Gumshoe.

Okay that’s all.