#i am also usually not this liberal with italics but god i couldn't help it lskdfjlkdfjdsd

[laudsimogen]

Resurrection

Imogen shook as she knelt at Laudna’s head in front of the Sun Tree. She’d been shaking for damn near a week now, as if every part of her body had become unstable without Laudna to keep it still, but now it seemed almost worse. Now would be the defining moment of whether she would ever stop shaking again, whether she would ever feel whole or happy again. Whether Laudna would get another chance at the life she deserved.

Her friends had gone first, taking turns kneeling by Laudna’s side and telling her how they love her, how they miss her, how they want her back. Their words resonated with Imogen, and she felt them amplified in her chest as she stepped up to take her turn.

What to say? What did she have time to say? She’d been thinking it nonstop since she watched Laudna fall, the words swirling in her head in an infinite loop, too much to say out loud. How could she possibly sum up in a few moments the horrible, crushing ache she felt, the ache that would destroy her if it lasted much longer? How could she explain that this world was pointless without Laudna’s light in it? How could she find words for the gaping hole in her heart that could only be filled by hearing Laudna’s voice again?

Imogen reached down to cup Laudna’s cheek in her hand, tears already brimming in her eyes, and bowed her head to rest her forehead against Laudna’s. She could do this. She had to do this. And it had to work.

“Laudna,” Imogen said, choking the name out around the hard lump in her throat. “I don’t know where you are right now. I hope it’s nice. I hope you’re not…in pain.” She paused and managed to hold back a sob, but her tears still fell onto Laudna’s face. “But I—I need you to come back to me. Please. I can’t do this—I can’t do anything without you. I’m lost. And I can’t…”

The shaking was unbearable now. She couldn’t hold her own weight, and she collapsed against Laudna’s still form, tucking her head into the crook of her neck and curling her fists into the fabric of her shirt. All she felt she could do was lie there, sobbing, but she had to keep going. There was still more to say. She couldn't break yet.

“I never told you,” she started. “Or—I didn’t make it clear enough. I don’t know. Laudna, I love you. I know you know that, but I love you so much it hurts. You’re my heart. You’re everything. Everything. And I know it’s selfish. I know it is. But I can’t live without you. All I could ever do is wait to join you. So please, please—for both of us—come back.”

There was a long, heavy silence as Imogen finished her plea. Was it good enough? Was anything good enough? She thought again to nobody and to everybody, I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything. Anything. Just let her come back. Take me instead if it’ll help. I don’t care. Just bring her back.

Her heart pounded so heavily in her ears and her silent bargain filled her head so completely that at first, she didn’t hear the music. She didn’t hear a thing until she felt a cool, gentle touch on her arm, and suddenly it flooded in: the warm tones of Laudna’s mind, the peace of it, like dust motes caught in a ray of sunshine, and Imogen’s breath stopped.

“Imogen?”

Laudna’s voice broke the floodgates in Imogen, and she clutched Laudna tighter, sobbing again, but this time with relief.

“Darling,” Laudna said, her voice tinged with concern now. “I’m here. It’s all right. I’m here.”

Imogen nodded and pried herself off of Laudna until she could see her face, her beautiful face. It was a bit drawn with exhaustion, but it was her. She was back. She was there. She was alive.

She helped Laudna sit up, deaf to the cheers and relief of their friends. All she could do was stare at Laudna, her heart melting as a bashful smile crept across Laudna’s face.

“My,” Laudna said with a short laugh as she glanced around. “Is all of this ruckus for me?” Her eyes fell back to Imogen’s, and her expression softened further. She reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Imogen’s ear, then gently wiped the tears from her cheek. “Thank you.”

Imogen let out a breathy laugh. “You know I couldn’t leave you,” she said. “You’d’ve done the same for me.”

"Of course," Laudna said, and she paused for a moment as if she didn't know what to say. Imogen couldn't tell through the haze of her tears, but she almost thought she saw just the barest hint of color to Laudna's cheeks as she said, so quietly, "I love you, too, Imogen. Just as much. I will, as long as I can, always come back to you. I promise."