#i am fully aware he's one creepy son a bitch that will not hesitate to tear into you...

[cypaira-the-skeleton]

Trick or Freak!

I know Halloween has passed, but it's still spooky week for me so enjoy this story I whipped up!

Fair warning, I really did my best to interpret one specific character that I started to like, and I must say I enjoyed writing his role as well.

Anywho, enjoy!

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T'was the night of Halloween. The streets were filled with Spooky decorations, Carved out Pumpkins, and almost an army of dressed up children going Trick or Treating with each passing house. Some where dressed as classical monsters, while others got creative; even a couple of not so scary characters roamed around. This year's spooky season was also being celebrated by a certain "Living possessed doll" with red ruby eyes, who goes by the name of Raven; Which decided to dress up as Annabelle. She roamed House by house excitedly exclaiming 'Trick or Treat!', receiving many kinds of sweets into her plastic shaped Skull bucket. Of course she wasn't alone, but was accompanied by her fathers.

Victor had dressed up as Michael Myers. Unfortunately, he spent a month or so searching for a mask that could fit him, but all of them where too small so instead of a mask he resorted to painting his face white; at least he was fortunate enough to find the jumpsuit he needed, albeit a bit sour for the lack of mask. As for Roger he decided to dress up as Freddy Krueger. Luckily for him he knew someone that possessed the iconic glove and borrowed it, his hat was taken from his own personal collection, and he coincidentally already owned a red and green striped sweater. Surprisingly enough they both got the attention for their costumes and some adults and teenagers even requested photos with them. Victor was quick to decline, but Roger took pleasure in posing in Krueger's creepy poses and malicious grins.

While walking to the next available household Raven has heard of an abandoned house, not too far from the neighborhood they're in, from a group of grown up kids. They described it as being maybe Fifthy years old, slowly falling apart, and presumably... something or someone is living in it. Upon hearing such details, Raven was pretty much eager to go visit this creepy old house. It is Halloween after all, it's the perfect occasion for the perfect month! There was only one small problem; neither of her fathers would probably allow her to go visit it. Why? Many of the reasons she presumed would be: A) It's Dangerous, B) It's probably a waste of time, C) Ghosts aren't real, and D) She doesn't need any sleepless nights over some "spooky house". She can ask, but what's the point if she knows the answer?

Now usually she never disobeys but an exception has to be made sometimes, even if it means that by the end of the night she'd probably have all the candy she collected revoked. By some strike of luck a couple of adults stopped to talk with Roger and Victor. Generally she'd be forced to wait for them to be done chatting, but instead she took the opportunity to slowly walk away, and bolt her way to the direction of the house. She just ran, not looking back once, knowing that at some point they'll notice her absence. It felt tempting to just turn back and not to worry her parents, but exploring a possibly haunted house was more intriguing! Raven kept running for maybe a minute or two, until she arrived at a dimly lit neighborhood. Not much houses were around, which made the street she's in more creepy, until at the end of the road she saw the infamous abandoned house.

The other kids were right, it really does look fifty years old and falling apart! It only begs one question: Is there really someone or something living inside? Although eager to find out, she couldn't help but shiver in fear of what could be in there. Raven was thought that Monsters and Ghouls are mostly fiction, and the real threats she's aware of are dangerous adults; but to think that some other wordly creature is actually roaming the place makes it a worthwhile experience. After gaining some courage, she roamed around the building finding for an entrance, since the rest of the house is boarded up. Thankfully she managed to find a hole on the side and crawled in.

Upon standing up from the dusty floor she was instantly met by a pitch black room. Good thing her fathers convinced her to bring a small flash light incase of an emergency. Reaching into the half filled bucket of sweets she found the flash light and turned it on, revealing a creepy, white sheet, cobweb coverd furniture of what seemed to be a living room. "Oh great, cobwebs! The last thing I want is a creepy spider crawling over to me" she sarcastically exclaimed to herself in displease of the discovery. The exploration was on. Slowly and carefully she walked around the room, discovering all sorts of forgotten items like creepy dolls and statuettes, and torn out books. The next room she stumbled upon seemed to be a kitchen. Similar as the previous one, run down and coverd in dust and webs; luckily no knives were around, but she did see a few innocent rodents!

The floor creaked with each step she took, debris floating in the air, and the sounds of rats scattering around made the experience even more ominous. A child her age would have already ran out in fear, but being used to living in the streets and forced to search for run down places for shelter, this experience wasn't as bad. Once the lower floor was scouted for good, her eyes trailed to a staircase. Pointing the flashlight upwards, a sudden chill went up her spine. Usually that's a sign of danger to her, but she blamed it on fear. The steps groaned loudly while making her way upstairs, despite that shes very light. As soon as she got off the last step, a shadow suddenly ran past to a room. Raven yelped in surprise, holding her only source of light with both hands, "Hello? Is someone there?" Her voice quiverd in fear. At this point she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand straight, and goosebumps quickly formed as well. Something felt off.

Gaining more courage, the little girl cautiously walked to the direction of were the shadow went. She peaked inside before slowly walking in. It appears to be an old bedroom, devoid of a bed, wallpaper and nightstand, the dim light of the moon soft glowing through a somehow intact dirty window. Maybe it was just her imagination, she wondered; that's until she heard rattling coming from a closet. Her body jolted in shock, freezing as she stared at the enclosed compartment. She practically had to force herself to even move from her spot and to very carefully approach one of the closed doors. Her hand trembled as she went to grasp the handle. Just as she was about to turn it, the doors flung open, and out emerged a horrifying being roaring at her. That instantly sent Raven to the floor screaming in fear and backing away. All of a sudden, she heard laughing. A dark sinister, and sadistic laugh. She scrambled for the flashlight she dropped and pointed it at the being, revealing it's appearance.

Infront of her stood a...man? He looked human but, apart from his almost ginger coloured, long and greasy hair and humanoid shape, he looked almost like a living creepy doll. The forearms, lower legs and around his lower jaw seemed to be skinless, revealing it's fabric looking Dermis. Screws seemed to be attached to his joints, toes and fingers seemed to resemble more like claws, holes almost littered his whole body, his teeth baren with laughter were long, thin, and sharp, but what was more odd was the fact that he seemed to have two black buttons for eyes. His clothes looked tattered; light blue shorts and a faded green shirt with what seems to be a hole in his thorso.

The creepy man's laughs started to lessen as he straightened himself back, releasing a deep satisfied sigh as he composed himself, "Ahhh~ I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time!" His voice sounded deep like a man in his early thirties and a bit raspy. Raven couldn't help but just... stare. The living "doll", after turning his attention back to her, approached the little girl with a toothy grin, "And what do we have here~?" He asked with a dark, intruiged tone. It was quite a surprise for him to see a child enter this old decrepit building without turning her heels back out. He had to admit, she had the guts to even follow him. Without warning the small girl sprung back to her feet, inspecting his presence with wide eyes, "Oh...My....God.....That's so cool!"

".....Eh?" The creepy man confusedly exclaimed at the sudden enthusiasm of the red eyed girl, "That is the coolest costume I've ever seen! How did you make it? It's so creepy!" Raven said as she circled around the creepy living doll, impressed at his appearance, "Wait- what!?" Now he was truly confused; costume? Did she really think he was wearing some scary disguise? "You're not....scared of me?" He asked. Once addressed with the question, Raven replied, "I mean, you did scare me quite a lot! But I obviously know you're just wearing a costume! Who are you supposed to be though? Is it someone from the movie 'Coraline'?" The man quickly replied back, "Okay okay okay! I have no idea what you're talking about! But for your information, I, am Robert! The god of Chaos!...and you are?"

" 'Robert god of Chaos'? Never heard of that! Oh, I'm Raven! I'm dressed up as-!"

"Yea yea yea I don't really care what you're dressed as" Robert rudely interrupted, "Sooo...You think I'm...fake?" He asked as he slowly came face to face with her. Truthfully, Raven couldn't understand why he asked that, "I know you're real as in... Living! But I know monsters don't exist! I'm well aware you're an adult trying to scare me! My parents always tell me that whatever I read or see on TV isn't always real. So no, I'm not scared of you!" Raven finished off confidently.

Interesting, Robert thought; this little girl is either bold...or really stupid. The toughts in his head were quickly silenced as Raven kept awing at his appearance, "How do you manage to see through the buttons? It must be difficult! And those teeth! Wow...how did you manage to make them look so realistic?"

Let's be honest, Robert stationed himself in this rotting building just so he could maybe aquire the perfect victim, especially since it's Halloween people would think it's a costume, thus gaining confidence and trust until he attacks. So far, all of the above has actually worked! But a child? The most supposed gullible and cowardly being? He expected some silly ghost hunters or a bunch of teenagers talking to their cameras. Instead he's met with a weird looking girl with the courage of a lion, and possibly the naivety of an idiot. Although, he could use her huge interest in his appearance as an advantage. She might not be enough, but he's up for a quick snack, "I impress you that much, huh?", the creepy man aksed, to which Raven quickly agreed. "How flattering!~ You see, it sure wasn't easy to...make this up" The god of Chaos played along, "and hearing you compliment my efforts makes me truly happy!".

He crouched down to her level, getting as close as possible to her, "Say, how about a hug as a sign of my gratitude?" He offerd with a not so convincing innocent smile. At this point on, Raven's instincts started to kick in pretty hard. His behaviour had changed from sadistic, to rude, to suddenly really kind. She also noticed how close he was getting to her. His arms positioned in a supposed 'hug', but his claw like hands seemed to be in a snatching position. She didn't know this man, and she should probably find an excuse as quick as possible, "Uhh... Sorry but... I'm not really a fan of hugs". Robert could feel she's starting to avoid him, so he pushed on, "Why not? You seem like the kind to love hugs~ Just a quick one, I promise" His voice was getting more sinister than ever as he kept playing innocent, "I'll even let you take a feel at my 'costume'! Especially my teeth....~" he finished his sentence as he idly licked his fangs with his slender long tounge.

Red flags blared in her head as her fight or flight instincts starting to kick in as well. Cautiously, she started to back away, "L-look, Mister Robert, I'm not really supposed to be here! I'm supposed to be with my parents so...I think it's better if I leave". She did manage to walk away from him, but the god was faster as he blocked her path, "Leaving so soon? You've just came here! Why don't you stay over for a quick bite?". She had to leave, fast! "I'm being serious, sir! I have to go back out before my parents become more worried sick!" In the blink of an eye she was suddenly pushed to a wall right beneath the window, with Robert having a good hold of her, "Alright little kid I guess that's enough games now.." he dropped his facade as he glared down at her, "Do you know how long I've been in here waiting for some schmuck to walk right into my trap? Long enough that I was tempted to eat the rats roaming around!"

"I-I'm sorry t-to hear that but could- coud you please let me go? You're really scaring me now..." although confused at his statement, she couldn't help but fear for her wellbeing. "Ohhh~ Now you're scared? I thought you where impressed by my appearance! Did you change your mind?" And once again, he's back to his condescending behaviour.

What does this man want from her? Her mind wondered. Having to unwillingly stare at his face she now noticed the huge stitched scar around his neck and more stitches around his lower jaw, almost seeming as if he was stitched together from separate parts. A part of her desperately wanted to believe that they're fake...but they looked so real. At this point, Raven was doubting if she was even facing a human.

Being already screwed up, she decided to tempt luck one last time, and clawed at the stitches on his throat; at least in hopes of escaping. Two audible pops were heard as her fingernails grabbed onto the couple of thick strands keeping his head on his shoulders. Robert automatically recoiled as he held onto his throat and hissed in pain, "Arrgh! That hurt you little shit!". Now she's definitely done it. Why the hell did she do that?? While keeping her pressed against the wall with his left hand, Robert used his right hand to practically "sew back" the loose stitches. Thankfully no blood was spraying about, but that definitely confirmed that what she's facing, was never human. She watched as he gruesomely poked his claws into his skin and tied back the loose strands. The skin looking overly stretched, almost threating to rip apart, "You're..... you're a real monster..." Her voice barely heard while her little frame shook with immense fear.

"Well not a 'Monster' per say...." He replied with a smug grin, "But I'll definitely be the last thing you'll see~" A deep dark chuckle emerged as drool started to drip from the corners of his mouth and almost drenching Raven, "Please.... don't hurt me", her soft voice begged. "Ohh don't worry I'm not gonna hurt you..." He paused, "I'm going to eat you!". That was even worse. She looked around for any means of escape, but she was cornered. "You might be skin and bones..." He pointed out as he trailed his thumb over her collar bone and the base of her neck, " and you're probably not gonna be filling enough..." Robert kept pondering as he slightly tapped his finger like claws over his stomach, "But! You should satisfy me enough until the next idiot that comes through this place. Now before I dig into you I need to remove whatever crap is on your face. I want to taste flesh, not pigments and chemicals" he mentioned at her make up as he tore a piece of Ravens costume revealing red shoes and a pair of jeans underneath the gown, and started to roughly remove the colours off her face.

She groaned in discomfort as he wiped off her blush, lipstick and eyeliner with a very harsh manner. Once done he creepily smiled as he threw the fabric aside, keeping a good hold to the back of her head and her shoulder while drooling with anticipation "There we go. All ready~". All that Raven could do now, was stare. Her body was too frozen to react, her voice was restricted, and life started to flash before her eyes as tears slowly trailed down her cheeks, probably going to serve more as additional taste to her flesh, "You don't need to cry, little Raven, I'll make sure they'll at least be able to find your bones; unless I "accidentally" eat those too" claimed the twisted god in a narcissistic tone. That was it for the girl, her life was over. She wondered if she said ' I love you ' to her parents that morning, if she had a chance to give them a hug as well, letting them know she's glad to have them in her life. The row of yellow stained teeth parted ways as a cavernous maroon maw was revealed. Spit flowing as it drenched her even more, the slick sound of the slithering tounge was just sickening to hear, and she swore she could spot more teeth on the back of his troath. It got closer...and closer...her head almost engulfed...the tounge trailing around her face....waiting for the bite to happen....

"RAVEN WHERE ARE YOU?!"

A familiar voice suddenly pierced the eery quietness of the neighborhood, halting the living creepy mannequin mid way from his task. Hope suddenly rushed through Raven's soul, recognising the voice of one of her beloved fathers. It was Victor, and it sounded like it came right outside the house! Robert growled as he retreated from the girls skull, hissing out a curse, "Ohhh for Fuck Sake!". The little girl didn't hesitate to call for help, "Da-!", but was quickly silenced as the man's hand wrapped around her mouth, "You shut your trap!". To avoid being seen he peeked out the window as he kept a hold of Raven.

Once the absence of Raven was noticed, both fathers instantly got into panic mode. Was she abducted? Did she get lost? Did she stray away with another group of children? The options were endless, and waisted no time looking for their daughter. Minutes into the search Roger started to have an odd feeling of were Raven could be. It might have been a distance, but he could feel that 'someone' was lingering in the human world, and she was headed to 'their' direction; which now brings us to the moment Raven was temporarily spared as soon as Victor called out for her, "Are you definitely sure she's here? It's not like I'm doubting due to your blindness but..." The giant man expressed his worries to his equally worried partner, "No offense taken...I just Know she's here, and she's very close", Roger claimed with a concerned expression. While Victor took the opportunity to search on the other side of the street, Roger just stood there... evaluating his surroundings.

"What the fuck is 'he' doing here?" Robert silently aksed to himself. He looked at the blind man that he somehow seemed to know, and the blind man, stared back. Once his blue eyes met with Robert's button ones a sharp chilling feeling crawled up his spine. The sinister smile had long faded away, and was replaced to a worrying look. He instantly turned his attention to the little girl as he uncovered her mouth and tugged onto the collar of the dress, demanding some answers, "How the hell do they know you?" Although confused and still scared, she replied, "They're...M-my dads...". Her answer seemed to have stunned him, "Even the blind man?? How's that possible??". It's really odd how all of a sudden he seems to be scared, "Roger ....he...he adopted me".

"..... Fuck this!" Suddenly Robert stood up, forcing Raven onto her feet, "I am NOT in the mood to fight, or get into a quarrel, or even be punched around!" He grabbed Raven from her arm and forced her to walk downstairs, making sure he doesn't dislocated a shoulder or else there'll be consequences. Once arrived at her point of entrance, he let go, "You're right. You are absolutely not supposed to be here! So you should get the fuck out, Never come back, and if we meet again, YOU. DONT. KNOW. ME!". So many questions flodded Raven's head, but wasted no time to crawl back out from the hole and sprint to her fathers, "Ddaaaaadddd!" She yelled as she hurled herself onto Roger, almost knocking him over while simultaneously knocking the air out of him as her little frame wrapped tightly around his thorso. Victor quickly noticed as well and made his way to them, "Raven we've been looking for you all over the town!" He exclaimed with relief as he approached.

Even if she was busy crying, she looked to them both with tears just running down here face, sobbing loudly as she spoke "I'm s-sorrryyyyy *hic* I shouldn't have do-done thiissss!!". Personally, Victor wanted to hug her, at least to show he's glad she's back. As for Roger, he hasn't really said or did anything, he just let Raven cry, waiting for her to calm down. Once the cries lessened, and the girl finally decided let go; leaving Roger's sweater drenched in tears, she aksed, "Are you...*sniff*..mad at me?". Victor wasn't sure what to answer despite it being a resounding 'Yes', but Roger spoke up first, "I'm not mad.... I am beyond Livid!" His once gentle voice soon turned brash and loud, "Just what on earth did ya think ye where doin' walking off from us like that?! Do ya even realise how irresponsible of you that was?? Of all places you wanted ta be it had to be here! What if you where taken hostage or worse killed?? And what if that house decided ta crumble over? Ya would ave' been stuck under the rubble! I just can't believe you would have the guts to get yerself in danger like that! I don't care if you're just a kid, yer old enough to know what's wrong from right! And THIS was NOT Right!!".

Both Victor and Raven were left speechless. How was it possible for a man like him to be This mad? Roger huffed with exhaust for how much he yelled, and Raven was hesitating if to cry again at his sudden outburts or avoid getting him more...livid, "I said I'm sorry..." She replied with an obvious guilty tone as she avoided his eyes, " 'Sorry' won't save ya from getting in trouble, Missy!" He sternly replied with crossed arms. At this point Victor felt to intervene as he lowered himself to Roger's level and whispered, "Look Roger, I know we're both upset at her for disappearing on us, but don't you think you're being a bit too harsh right now? I mean, she came to us crying! We don't even know what happened to her!". Although he's got a point, Roger made it clear that to love, you sometimes have to be cruel, "Just because she came ta us crying doesn't excuse the fact she risked her own life. You shouldn't let tears make you too soft in situations like this". He was the one with more experience in raising a child after all, and Victor, despite having the role of a father as well, still had more to learn.

"Once we're home, you're in for Loonng lecture of why you should never walk away from us". Raven just knew this would happen; maybe not as much but still! She knows it's her fault that she risked her own safety just because curiosity took the best of her. She was almost eaten alive, and all because she thought it was a costume! Disguise or not, she should have left the moment she spotted Robert's shadow running by. "First things first..." Roger chimed in as he reached out to Raven, pulling her into an affectionate tight hug. The red eyed girl was puzzled at first, that's until her father continued with a softer tone of voice, "Don't you ever do that to us ever again. Do you understand?" He almost sounded like he was about to cry. Yes, he acted a bit harsh, but it doesn't mean he didn't love her! As crazy as it may sound, if Victor was worried, Roger was twice as much! He feared to never hear her voice again, he was scared that she'll never come back. He wouldn't have forgiven himself if they didn't show up in time! He's been with her the longest, did everything to give her a future and life she truly deserved...all his attempts would have went to waste, and his wish to be a father would be short lived.

Raven slowly hugged back, and shyly asked, "You still love me though.... right?" The blind man redirect her gaze to him as he gently pressed his forehead to hers, "Ohh you can't Even imagine how much I love you. And just because I'm upset doesn't make me hate you or love you less". It felt relieving to hear him confirm it, but she just couldn't forgive herself to worry him like that, "I truly am sorry...I mean it" she repeated. He knows she is, but further discipline will come later. He gave her a long kiss to her forehead as he shortly stood up a moment later, "Let us go home now. It's getting late". That was Victors cue to pick up Raven and give her a big hug as well as carrying her back home. While Victor walked off, Roger gave one last glare at the window, were Robert was looking through with now raised arms as if saying 'I swear I'll never attempt to hurt her again'. With his hand, Roger pointed two fingers at his blind eyes, to then pointing them to the god of Chaos, simply warning, 'I'm keeping my watch on you', and went to join the rest of his family.

Once gone, Robert rested against the wall as he finally let out a sigh of relief, "shhiittt what a night! Guess I will be forced to eat rats after all" he claimed with a grudge. He barely took four steps as he kicked something plasticy and spilled it's contents over. Looking down he realised it was the girls bucket of sweets she came in with! He kneeled down as he picked up a bar of wafer covered chocolate. He barbarically tore off the top wrapper with his teeth, and proceeded to take a bite. He slowly chewed as his taste buds received quite the new flavour that wasn't raw meat. He sat down, and proceeded to take another bite, "Eh, much better than the rodents" He shrugged to himself. Although he never got to have a new prey that night, he at least wasn't going to spend it hungry.

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Ngl it was a blast writing this story 😁, and I also did insert references to Roger being The Impossible God and obviously being aware of Robert, I just wanted to make it interesting.

Lill Robert, Roger Willington, and Victor Bellman, all belong to @horrorartist23

[regiqoa]

Why Chara Is Evil and You Need To Shut The Fuck Up About Them

So recently I’ve been seeing so many videos, texts, essays and even blogs by the UT Fandom defending Chara, making some of those Character Defense Squads, saying that they’re actually good and that there’s much more to them besides how they’re portrayed in the Genocide Run and it’s honestly becoming a hassle, if not worrying. I am familiar with Tumblr’s habit of going out of its way to look deeper into things just for the sake of erasing an evil character’s traces and dark tendencies and thus turn them into a pure sweetie who did nothing wrong and it’s honestly annoying me. You guys are having sympathy for a character that’s supposed to be a PSYCHOPATH. And before you come saying “Chara is good, the player is responsible for the Genocide Run! The PLAYER is the real villain!”, the hole is a bit lower than that. Just because the player is indeed responsible for the Genocide Run doesn’t mean Chara isn’t evil. Bear with me. Let us begin then. Let’s look into the arguments people use to defend Chara as a “good” character and I will turn them around and, trust me, there’s not much you’ll be able to say to defend them after this because the logic in those arguments are HORRIBLY flawed.

“Chara was only laughing away the pain when Asgore got sick and nearly died after eating that poisoned Butterscotch pie made by them and Asriel!”

While laughing away the pain is a huge theme in Undertale (Hell, Sans does it all the time), I HIGHLY doubt they were laughing at stress. Let’s look into the VHS tape where this situation is mentioned and talked about by Asriel:

Asriel: Howdy, <Name>! Smile for the camera! Ha, this time I got YOU! I left the cap on... ON PURPOSE! Now you're smiling for noooo reason! Hee hee hee. What? Oh, yeah, I remember. When we tried to make butterscotch pie for Dad, right? The recipe asked for cups of butter... But we accidentally put in buttercups instead. Yeah! Those flowers got him really sick. I felt so bad. We made Mom really upset. I should have laughed it off, like you did... Um, anyway, where are you going with this? Huh? Turn off the camera...? OK.

So Asriel playfully tricks Chara, they start laughing and all of a sudden they just remember how they nearly killed their dad along with Asriel, right? In those circumstances and context, it means Chara remembers poisoning Asgore as a prank, something funny to laugh about, the same way purposefully leaving the lens cap on was for Asriel. So, yeah, they weren’t laughing any pain away; they were sadistically laughing at the pain Asgore was in and how probably they were rubbing their hands together while cooking up their little plan to use Asriel to destroy humanity under the guise of “freeing everyone”. This tape also really goes to show how different Asriel and Chara are, as Asriel also mentions how he felt so bad at the incident. I should also mention how Chara smiles creepily at Flowey’s distress when they make him scared of them when he realizes Chara would never hesitate to kill him if he got in their way and they are also shown smiling when we see them for the first time after killing Flowey at the end of the Genocide Run. Also, isn’t it Flowey himself who comments Chara has a "sick sense of humour”? Hell, many many Monsters comment on the protagonist’s “creepy smile” or "strange expression" throughout the Genocide Run, not to mention the =) face that appears instead of the exclamation point (!) atop the protagonist’s head before they fight a monster starting from the Waterfall area is highly associated with Chara. They’re HAPPY to be fighting the Monsters they come across and hunt, they’re happy to kill.

“Chara is clearly uncomfortable with the player the second time they do the Genocide Run”

This argument likely stems from that one line of Chara’s during their monologue if a Genocide Run is done twice:

"But you and I are not the same, are we? This SOUL resonates with a strange feeling. There is a reason you continue to recreate this world. There is a reason you continue to destroy it. You. You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality. Hmm. I cannot understand these feelings anymore."

I’d say “impatient” is the right word, not “uncomfortable”. At this rate, the player’s and Chara’s motives and desires are different. The reason the player continues to recreate and destroy the world is to satisfy their completist desire of wanting to find out every single thing there is to know about Undertale (or any game, for that matter), even if it means traversing the Genocide Run more than once, which is exactly the “perverted sentimentality” Chara is referring to and, considering how much of a real pain in the ass it is to complete it, it’s no surprise that Chara calls such an action “perverted". So they don’t understand you anymore, your desires are not the same anymore. The same is commented by Sans during his fight:

“i know your type. you’re uh, very determined, aren’t you? you’ll never give up, even if there’s uh… absolutely NO benefit to persevering whatsoever. if i can make that clear. no matter what, you’ll just keep going, not out of any desire for good or evil… but just because you think you “can”. and because you “can”… you “have to”…”

Chara on the other hand desires to go out and destroy humanity (and the Monsters, too), which brings me to my next point: The post-Genocide Pacifist Run. Chara is dead and thus lacks a physical body to do anything, so they know the only way to escape the Underground is through Frisk, the character the player controls. Have any of you ever paid attention to what Chara says after what I just put above?

"Despite this. I feel obligated to suggest. Should you choose to recreate this world once more, another path would be better suited."

Chara is suggesting the player “tries another path” and is thus manipulating them into doing the True Pacifist Run so they can go out and destroy both the Humans and the Monsters that now reign the surface.

“Chara didn’t destroy the Humans and Monsters of the surface in a post-Genocide Pacifist Run, they’re bringing justice to the player! They care about the Monsters and is thus punishing the player!”

No, it’s NOT Chara punishing the player, that’s the game itself doing this. One of Undertale’s main messages, especially the Genocide Run, is that your actions have consequences. The only thing that happens at the end of a post-Genocide Pacifist Run (or Soulless Pacifist Run) is that Chara fully possessed Frisk’s body after the player sold them their SOUL and now, with the Barrier separating the Humans from Monsters destroyed, Chara can now go out and destroy both species that live in the Surface. I mean, DAMN, Toby Fox said it himself in his Twitter when asked about the Soulless Pacifist Ending. There is absolutely NO “justice” in Chara’s side. If they were REALLY a good and pure person who loves the Monsters then, well, I’m sure they wouldn’t have to kill them just for rubbing it in the player, right?! Seriously, don’t ANY of you realise how pathetically contradictory this argument is?!

“But Chara is just a child!”

Bitch, have you ever watched two movies called “The Good Son” and “Child of Rage”? Go watch them, your argument is once again invalid. I will also mention how these two children are psychopaths. Also, the youngest arrested and condemned killers of the 20th century were brought to justice when they were both 10 and their names are Robert Thompson and Jon Venables, who kidnapped, tortured and killed 2 year-old James Bulger. So yeah, with real-life evidence, children like Chara are completely capable of being psychopathic murderers.

“Chara is the narrator of Undertale! They nicely narrate every enemy and object to you!”

No, it’s not canon. It’s never said anywhere that they are. The narrator through the ENTIRETY of Undertale is completely up to speculation. Have you ever heard of something called an “omniscient narrator”? Hell, it could be Frisk narrating stuff to you in a Neutral or Pacifist Run. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to say it could be the player themselves, considering the amount of 4th Wall Breaks in the game and how Flowey is aware that there’s people that watch gameplays of Undertale out there. The only pieces of narration that are clearly narrated by Chara are the ones in red in New Home in the Genocide Run (which are written in first person). This is also the very same place where Flowey talks about him to Chara the most, should I add. This argument likely exists because the narrator in question is always saying “you did <insert action here>”, in third person as if talking about someone else. Well, the same thing happens in the Genocide Run. There are TONS of entries in the Genocide Run narrated in third person.

“Papyrus is sparing you”

“You punched the dummy at full force. Feels good.”

“Glad Dummy lets you go”

“You took the Snowman Piece”

“You took the key and put it on your phone’s key-chain”

“You feel like you’re gonna have a bad time”

“You feel your sins crawling on your back”

It’s also worth noticing how darker and crueler the narrations both in first and third person get the more the Genocide Run progresses, right? It’s because the more you kill, the more you allow Chara to posses Frisk and the more they can manifest themselves.

“Chara lectures the player when the world is completely destroyed”

Yes, that is true but that still doesn’t make them good, they’re merely acknowledging the reality of the player’s actions. They sound completely cold and stoic saying those words and asking the player if they’re above consequences, which shows they’re neutral about this, not sad or bothered, not to mention it is them who destroy the world REGARDLESS of the player’s choice. I should also remind you that, right after that, the player is left with no choice but to make a literal deal with the devil (as Chara calls themselves “the demon that appears when people call its name”), giving Chara their SOUL as a deal to make them bring the world back. Chara also calls the player a “great partner” if they agree to destroy the world with them so its plausible to think that this is yet another form of manipulation.

“Chara may call themself a demon but Asriel calls himself the ‘God Of Hyperdeath!’"

Exactly. Asriel is the GOD of Hyperdeath. “Of Hyperdeath” is merely a name and a very obvious one, considering Asriel inherited his father’s trait of being terrible at naming things. However, think about this: A God is a creator or recreator, a deity, a divinity. When you look at what he says during his fight, this name makes perfect sense:

“You know, I don’t care about destroying this world anymore. After I defeat you and gain total control of the timeline, I just want to reset everything! Then we can do everything all over again!"

Asriel’s intentions are not remotely bad, even. He does not wish to harm anyone, he only wants to reset the entire timeline and redo what he and Chara did wrong, even if it means killing the protagonist to gain their Determination, for the greater good.

“Chara forgave Asriel for his betrayal!”

Dude, WHERE do people get this from?! Chara clearly DIDN’T forgive Asriel for betraying them and is clearly merciless to him at the end of the Genocide Run. They inclusively mention his betrayal when talking to the player:

“At first, I was so confused. Our plan had failed, hadn’t it?"

When Flowey is talking to Chara in New Home, they make him scared of them the moment he realizes that they would never hesitate to kill him if he got in their way, not to mention Chara is the one to make Flowey realize that his “kill or be killed” philosophy does not work, he knows Chara is much stronger than him. Hell, Chara clearly doesn’t care at all for Asriel as they, not the player, CHARA completely MUTILATES Flowey right when he reveals his true identity as Asriel after killing Asgore in one shot. Also, speaking of which, it is clearly stated on the books in the “Librarby" that the stronger the will to kill a Monster a human has, the more damage their attacks will do. One more thing worth mentioning is this parallel right here which pretty much speaks for itself:

Asriel, in the second True Lab VHS tape: Okay, <Name>, are you ready? Do your creepy face! AHHHHH!! Hee hee hee! Oh! Wait! I had the lens cap on... What!? You're not gonna do it again...? Come on, quit tricking me! Haha!

Flowey, in New Home: S-s-stop making that creepy face! This isn’t funny! You’ve got a SICK sense of humor!

The real thing that goes to show that Chara is evil is their relationship with Asriel/Flowey. Asriel was never comfortable with Chara’s plan, to the point that he cried at the thought of having to hurt or kill anyone. Flowey (who is equally evil), on the other hand, understands and even admires Chara for their murderous genocidal tendencies when he talks to them at the end of the Ruins and in New Home, not to mention Flowey only recognizes the protagonist as Chara if the player is doing the Genocide Run. It’s also worth mentioning that it was because of Chara that Flowey acquired his “kill or be killed” philosophy. Hell, Asriel even comments that Frisk and Chara are completely different from each other despite their very similar fashion choices and that he was only projecting. Hell, he’s the one who admits and recognises that Chara was never the greatest person.

Now on to something to top it all off: The Sociopath Flowey and Psychopath Chara theory. What you’re about to read now is a written adaption of a video in Portuguese explaining that Chara is a psychopath, whereas Flowey is a sociopath.

So, as you’ve probably gathered, there’s not much data about who Chara truly is but the they are just enough for us to understand their mentality and perspectives throughout the game. Chara was the first human to fall down Mount Ebott after the war that separated humans from monsters. Upon falling, they are found by Asriel, Toriel and Asgore’s biological son, and is adopted by the Dreemurr family as a family member. However, when Asgore gets awfully sick after eating a pie prepared by Chara and Asriel, Asriel feels bad about everything that happened, yet Chara LAUGHS in relation to that (I already proved your little “they were laughing away the pain” point wrong so shut the fuck up). Instead of putting “cups of butter” to make the pie, Chara uses Buttercups, poisonous golden flowers in the recipe, causing Asgore to fall horribly sick. Seeing the potency that the flowers have in Monsters, Chara starts to cook up a plan. Chara then gets terminally ill (too) and, before passing away, they ask Asriel to take them to see the golden flowers of their village in the Surface. Throughout the game, it is revealed that Chara had poisoned themself intentionally so that Asriel could absorb their SOUL and thus cross the barrier so that they could kill humans together and harvest their SOULs. So, yeah, Chara INTENTIONALLY poisons themself so that they have the chance to kill humans (which they succeed with the sole exception of Frisk that they posses depending on the ending we achieve in-game). But anyway, upon reaching the Surface, Asriel is attacked by the humans, for they have thought Asriel had attacked and killed Chara. This causes Chara’s desire to kill humans to manifest into their fusion and put it in a state of hatred but Asriel is able to resist that and let the fusion be attacked. Asriel then returns to the underground horribly wounded and both Asriel and Chara thus die. This story takes us to the story of Flowey; when Asriel died, his dust was spread across Asgore’s garden of golden flowers. Later, Alphys, doing experiments with Determination, injected the first flower that bloomed after Toriel left Asgore with Determination. The initial experiments didn’t work, which made Alphys return the flower to Asgore to be replanted in the garden. However, the flower woke up alive in the garden and thanks to Asriel’s essence from his dust in the garden, Flowey retained Asriel’s memories, but he also noticed that he din’t feel any emotions since he didn’t have a SOUL and thus was unable to feel love, joy or compassion. Those, dear readers, are all the information available about these two characters, so now let’s move on the psychological part. All of these informations affirm that both Chara and Flowey suffer from psychological problems, with Chara being a psychopath and Flowey being a sociopath. Now let’s analyse this a bit; many people assume amiss that psychopathy and sociopathy are the same but that’s wrong. Indeed, both disorders are very similar but there are a few details that set them apart so let’s see what psychopathy and sociopathy have in common, first:

Both are “antisocial personality disorders”;

Both lack empathy;

Both despise and disobey rules of social behaviour;

Both do not feel remorse or guilt;

Both are violent and hurt people;

Now that’s where things change. Differing from a sociopath, a psychopath possesses the following symptoms: The origin of their disorder is in the innate condition of their existence. According to a research made by the International Institute of Minnesota, 60% of psychopaths are psychopathic by heredity, meaning they were simply born this way. Now:

A psychopath has GREAT chances of being a nice and well-mannered person with a good professional career;

A psychopath possesses a very controlled temper and behaviour;

A psychopath is highly manipulative;

A psychopath is completely incapable of creating (real) bonds with other people;

A psychopath is generally very smart, intelligent and carefully calculates and plans their actions and risks, leaving the least amount of evidence as possible in their crimes;

Whereas a sociopath is very different. The origin of their disorder has great chances of being generated due to the environment they live in. Researches show that great part of sociopaths have become sociopathic due to their precocious institutionalisation, meaning they were NOT born this way. Now:

A sociopath has difficulty in being polite or well-mannered and generally cannot maintain themselves in a job;

A sociopath has a behaviour of loss of control that generates hate and anger;

A sociopath is impulsive and spontaneous;

A sociopath is capable of creating bonds with other people or an individual group;

A sociopath is spontaneous and thus leaves marks and evidences in their crimes;

Now it’s when we analyse how Chara and Flowey fit in those profiles, starting by Chara. Chara is a psychopath: If we analyze their story enough, we’ll see that their story is indeed based in a frenetic impulse of psychopathy. Like I said above, a psychopath is usually a well-mannered person and gets very well socially. Chara was very well-seen by the Monsters while living in the Underground, so much that they say they “filled the Underground with hope” and therefore had great capacity of interacting with others. However, when we look into the manipulation thing, Chara is an extremely manipulative character, both while living in the Underground and at the end of the Genocide Run. Their attitudes in relation to the player at the end of the Genocide Run testify that: They induce the player to erase the world and is thus manipulating them by doing exactly that. They are intelligent, they know they need you to escape to destroy and kill everyone, so they need you to do their bidding, which is exactly what happens at a potential post-Genocide Pacifist Run. The same way they manipulated Asriel: to take him to the Surface as a SOUL inside him and carry their own dead body so the humans can see and make the mistake that leads them to attack him. Chara is clearly manipulating him by doing that. Chara also does not possess sympathy or empathy for anyone; When Asgore eats the poisoned pie and gets sick, Chara sadistically laughs at what happened and thus does not feel remorse before that. Another example of Chara’s lack of empathy towards anyone is how they didn’t care for how clearly uncomfortable Asriel was with their plan, they literally have to convince him through guilt-tripping and manipulation when he’s CRYING to go along with their plan:

Asriel (fourth True Lab VHS tape): I... I don't like this idea, <Name>. Wh.. what? N-no, I'm not... ... big kids don't cry. Yeah, you're right. No! I'd never doubt you, <Name>. Never! Y... yeah! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone. I'll go get the flowers.

This tape really goes to show how Chara clearly despises weakness, chastising Asriel for being “weak" and only cares about gaining more power, not caring a thing in the world on how other people feel. Remembering that Chara does all of this calculatedly, planning everything step-by-step, the same way a psychopath would do. Now, it is said by Asriel that Chara “hated humanity” and people just assume that this somehow means that they are actually depressed and abused and jumped on Mt. Ebott as an attempt of suicide, right? Well, that’s unfortunately NOT the case. The real reason why Chara “hated humanity and felt very strongly about it” is NEVER stated out loud and Asriel even goes to say that Chara never said why they felt this way. That’s right, Chara has no reason to hate humanity, they do what they do because they want to and because they LIKE hurting and killing. Like I said above, psychopaths are born psychopaths; They just want people to die and suffer by their hands and they leave it as less evident as possible, to the point of using Frisk as a physical vessel for them to kill Monsters and they only reveal their true colors and their plan to erase the timeline at the very end of the Genocide Run. Not to mention the way they fell down Mount Ebott is a bit suspicious to me. The intro of the game shows them tripping on a vine then falling on the hole leading to the Underground so it isn’t really a stretch to say that they’ve been lying to Asriel to gain his sympathy (another form of manipulation). Now on to Flowey. Flowey is a bit more different. Yes, Flowey also has the very same destructive impulses to destroy everything and everyone, but differing from Chara, his attitudes and motives to do that are different. First off, Flowey doesn’t have that much of a good capacity to interact with other monsters, as his explosive temper and his urge to attack everything he comes across turn Flowey VERY distanced from the others. Indeed, Flowey usually resides in an place that’s excluded from the Monster society, the Ruins. Flowey also isn’t very polite, his way of speaking is very different from the others. His signature “Howdy!” is southern slang, the way country people speak, whereas Chara, should I also add, politely greets the player with “Greetings”, a very formal way of saying hello. All of Flowey’s explosive behavior and lack of control towards Frisk, especially at the beginning of the game, shows that he doesn’t calculate his attitudes or his actions and is impulsive, the same way a sociopath acts. Also differing from Chara, Flowey has and had bonds, with Papyrus and possibly many others after he found out about his power to reset, save and load and, of course, with Chara. Flowey constantly feels like he has to do Chara’s bidding and even apologises to them at one point, showing that he is capable of bonding with someone, different from a psychopath. Flowey’s acts of violence are also very clear; he doesn’t do it all in secret like Chara does, he shows it in your face that he is indeed an antagonist. Who else makes crimes leaving marks behind? A sociopath, obviously. And surely, Flowey wasn’t always a sociopath, he became one, he is what Asriel became after being manipulated by Chara, Chara made him a sociopath (if not the boredom he felt after seeing all the Underground has to offer but you get my point). Indeed, Flowey/Asriel only turns evil and sociopathic due to the manipulative influences of Chara, Chara made him this way, Chara was the starting point for Flowey to start having those attitudes of violence in the game. To sum it all up: Chara was born a psychopath, as they have no reason to hate humanity, and Flowey is a sociopath because he was manipulated by Chara as Asriel. He doesn’t do what he does because he wants to, he only wants to satisfy Chara.

Conclusion (Chara=The Player/Character Analysis): Now, it is indeed a bit difficult to explain this line of thinking. Every RPG has in its essence killing and defeating your enemies, getting stronger, winning new equipments, gaining experience to evolve in levels and going to face new challenges. But that’s different in Undertale. This game values every single character it has, from simple enemies to NPCs, killing and defeating is not a necessity. Indeed, the more you kill, the worse your (most precisely Neutral) ending becomes. It really goes to show how being stronger than everyone else doesn’t necessarily make you better than anyone else, and in Undertale, the exact opposite happens, it makes you the worse. It completely goes against the idea that the more you kill, the better you are, without caring about anyone else, without the least bit of remorse, being the very best at every cost even if it means killing everyone around you. Chara is never met in person at all in every other route of Undertale besides the Genocide Run, and that’s because every EXP and every LV you gain gives them power, thus causing them to grow stronger and mentally posses Frisk. Why do you think Chara is the embodiment of the feeling you get every time your statuses increase? Why do you think you’re supposed to name them after yourself as the player (as stated by Toby Fox himself)? That's because completing a Genocide Run would be just like completing an RPG like any other and Chara is that feeling we have inside of us every time we gain more power, when we feel nothing upon seeing people get hurt, upon seeing the news of terrible things happening in the world and feeling nothing at all. They’re that evil voice whispering “kill them, you have the power” when we’re clutching a knife in our hands just about to cause pain and suffering for those who hurt you instead of feeling empathy and learning to forgive. Have you noticed how Chara is the only character in the entire game that we don’t fight? It's because Chara, being the feeling of only wanting more power and feeling no empathy for others at all, can only be defeated by doing good to others, by forgiving, by making friends and not using or manipulating them into doing what only YOU want them to do. Chara only resurrects at the very end of the Genocide Run, when everything and everybody are truly destroyed and only for wanting more power, they tell you that your “human SOUL” and your “Determination" are what brought them back to life, meaning that, upon wanting to become more powerful, you as the player, acquired their traits. HP. ATTACK. GOLD. DEFENCE. EXP. LV. Every time time a number increases, that feeling, that's Chara. With your guidance, Chara has finally resurrected, they could have never done this without you and have finally realised why they’re back to life: power, and that’s exactly what Chara represents. As that old saying says: “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely”. The player needs an equal, a representative in-game to represent their thirst and lust for power, their want to be the best at every cost and to kill everyone in their way if needed. Chara is a separate entity that lives in all of us, our thirst and lust for power that, if one lets it grow, can destroy worlds regardless of one’s choice, because YOU are never in control. Chara takes the game's control away from the player more and more as the Genocide Run progresses and, towards its end, more and more and more Monsters do not recognise Frisk as human anymore. That is because, as you kill, you literally strip yourself of your humanity. Is it really you in control of your actions, or your greed? Are you really the one making the rules, or your selfishness? Is there really anything more than just your ego and your futility that keeps you going? Are you leaving good things to the people around you or are you just an asshole wishing to manipulate everyone and have an easy life? Are you a true true friend or do you manipulate your friends and steal their attention, their empathy and sympathy with lies just so they can all cater to your needs and whims? In other words, you inner Chara? Soulless monster, you have no excuses to say you haven’t been warned, for when there is nothing nor nobody around you, do not complain that you did not know where you were going to.

I am open to discussions and will ignore flames.

[i-may-have-a-point]

Chicago Chapter 5

Here is chapter 5!  I rewrote this chapter at least three times.  I wanted to try to balance the angst and happiness, and I think this is the best version of the three.  Just know there is a very dark and twisty version of this chapter saved on my computer that I may pull out for a later fanfic.  But because of the lack of Japril on our screens, I decided not to go that dark.  Thank you all so much for reading, and as always, please let me know what you think!

The room felt much smaller with Dotson in it, as if it had shrank and there was nowhere for her to move that wouldn't feel too close to him.  April wills herself to stand up.  "What - What are you doing here?  You aren't supposed to be here," she focuses on keeping her voice calm and steady.  She couldn't let him know she was afraid.  He wanted to feel powerful and she wouldn't give that to him.  

Dotson chuckles smugly, "Not supposed to be here?  I work here.  Besides, we never got the chance to finish our meeting.  We were just getting to the good stuff."

He doesn't know, April realizes.  He has no idea that Jackson and Catherine are ransacking his office right at this moment.  If he did, he would be angry. But no, he is just as creepy and arrogant as the day before.  

"I have nothing else to say to you."  With a deep breath, April heads for the door.  Dotson is directly in her path, however, and as she goes to step around him, he grabs her wrist and yanks her back.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"  His face is so close to hers and she can feel the anger radiating from it.

"Let go of me."  She pushes her fear down, tries to control it.  The pain in her wrist is making that difficult, but she refuses to let him win.  

His grip on her wrist tightens.  She tries to pull free but can’t.  She starts to feel panic rising in her stomach but the feeling subsides when the door opens and Jackson, Catherine, and their lawyer step inside.

Dotson immediately releases his grasp on April’s arm and steps back from her. Dotson turns towards Jackson, holding up his hands as if to calm him, "Listen, Avery, this is not -"

"You son of a bitch..."  Jackson has no interest in hearing anything he has to say and quickly crosses the room grabbing Dotson by the collar and slamming him against the wall.  

"Dr. Avery, don't!"  The Avery's lawyer calls out to Jackson.  "If you assault him, that could damage April's case.  Do not hit him!  Let him go!"  

Jackson doesn’t loosen his grip on Dotson, and the doctor braces himself for the inevitable pain, but it doesn’t come.  The room is still for a moment until Jackson speaks, “Call the police. Now.  Because the longer I have to see his face, the more likely I am to kill him."  Their lawyer pulls out his phone and steps in to the hallway as Jackson continues, his tone softening, “April, are you okay?”

“I am now.”

The rest of the afternoon is a blur.  April recounts the events of the past two days to the police while Dotson is handcuffed and escorted from the room by police.  Catherine is on the phone with board members, giving out orders on how to deal with the fallout.  Each of them give their official statements to the police, and finally, they are free to leave.  Catherine tells Jackson and April to go ahead without her as she has more phone calls to make and April needs to rest.  Jackson begins to offer to stay and help, but one look at April changes his mind.  She is upset and exhausted.  He reaches out his hand to her, and when she takes it, he pulls her in to his chest and wraps his arms around her.  He leans down, pressing his face into her hair.  

“Your mom’s right.  Can we leave?”

“Of course.  Let’s go.”

The car ride back to the hotel is silent, each of them fully feeling the exhaustion of the past two days.  Jackson simply holds her hand and that is enough for the moment.  

They step off the elevator and on to the floor of April’s hotel room.  She digs through her purse and finds the key card to her room.  Before opening her door, she turns to Jackson.

"Um...do you want to come in?  I mean, you don't have to.  If you just want to go to your room and get some sleep I totally understand."  April isn't sure exactly how to say what she wants.  She wants him to stay.  He makes her feel safe and warm and like everything is going to be just fine, and she really needs that right now.  But she doesn’t want to pressure him.  He spent the entire day helping her already and maybe he needs a break from that.  

"Well, that might be a problem because I don't have a room." Jackson smiles when April looks up at him confused.  "When I got here this morning, I just wanted to see you, so I came straight here."

"Oh."

"But I can always go get one.  If that would make you more comfortable..." he trails off waiting for her to decide.  After Montana, he assumed he and April would be repairing their relationship, but maybe this trip to Chicago had changed that.  He couldn't ever fully understand what April has been through, so if she needed space he could give that to her.  Reluctantly, but he could.

April paused for only a moment before answering him. "I want you to stay."

Jackson paces the lobby, waiting for the Chinese food he ordered. Why was the driver taking so long? April said she was going to take a shower while he grabbed the food, but he hated to leave her alone for too long. She was strong, but this had shaken her. When they first got to their room he had wanted to talk to her, comfort her, but he wasn’t sure where to begin or if she even wanted to talk, so he didn’t push.  He decided to give her some space and time to herself and since they both love Chinese food, that was the perfect excuse.

The driver finally arrives, apologizing for getting lost, and Jackson heads back to the room.  April changed into her pajamas and is curled up under a blanket on the bed, clearly lost in thought.  Jackson isn’t even sure she was aware he came back in the room.  

Trying not to startle her, he softly says her name, “April?”

He can’t tell if she hears him.  

“April?  Are you hungry?  Do you want to eat before the food gets cold?”

He sets the food on the table and walks to the bed sitting down in front of her. She keeps her head down, tracing the stitching on the blanket with her fingers. He strokes her cheek with his hand and lifts her chin until she meets his eyes. “Hey.” He whispers.  

He sees the tears in her eyes that are waiting to fall. “Hey.  He’s gone.  He’s going to prison.  Our lawyer will make sure of it.” She nods but doesn’t respond.  “You’re safe.  You know that right?”

She scoffs and shakes her head.  “That’s just it, Jackson.  I’m not scared or worried.  I’m angry.”

“You’re angry?”

“You know, I was so excited about coming here, touring the Avery Trauma Center, learning from the doctors there…and now?  Now the only thing I will remember from this trip is being trapped in that office with him.  He ruined this experience for me.  He saw something he wanted and had to have it.  He wouldn’t take no for an answer.  And why?  Because he needed to feel powerful?  Because he’s jealous of you?  Because he felt threatened by me?  God, Jackson, why do some men think they can do things like this?  I mean, should I have seen this coming?  I keep replaying the whole thing over in my mind thinking, maybe there was a sign, if I just hadn’t gone to his office...I had a bad feeling, I should have listened to my gut.  But no, I was worried about being rude.  Seems pretty stupid now…”  The stitching on the blanket has come undone now and she winds the string around her finger while she talks.

“April, this is not your fault.  You know that right?”  April nods, but he is not sure she actually believes him.  “Dotson had a stack of complaints in his personnel file.  If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else. You did nothing wrong.”

She stops winding the string to wipe the tears from her face.  “Then why do I feel like I did?”

“No, April.  No, no, no. Do not, for one second, think that you did something wrong.  You stopped him.  Because of you, he is sitting in a jail cell right now and he won’t be able to hurt anyone else.  You did everything right.”  Jackson moves to sit next to her and pulls her to him.  He holds her, rocking her gently back and forth, for as long as she needs.

April sits up suddenly, pushing away from him, “Oh my gosh, the food! Jackson, I’m so sorry!  It’s probably cold by now.”

Jackson shrugs, “Don’t be sorry.  You know me, I’m not turning away food, even if it is cold.”

While they eat, they Facetime Harriet, Ben, and Bailey to check in. Jackson gets an update from Bailey on Diane’s clinical trial, and Ben assures April that the residents haven’t destroyed her ER.

“I miss her.” April says as she clears the remnants of their dinner from the table.  

“She misses you, too.  I can tell.”  Jackson calls from the bathroom.  He decided to change his clothes and get ready for the night in there so April didn’t feel as if he were pressuring her for anything.  

April laughs quietly, “What do you mean you can tell?  She’s a baby.  She makes like five noises over and over again.”  

“She follows you with her eyes when you walk into a room.  She was doing the same thing tonight.  Even when I feed her in the middle of the night she keeps looking to the door waiting for you to come in.  She loves her mom.”

“So, what you’re saying is, I’m her favorite?”  April asks teasingly as Jackson emerges from the bathroom.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”  He says smiling, “She probably just loves to eat.  And we both know who she got that from.”

They both laugh and make their way to the bed.  April hesitates for a moment and then sits down on the side opposite Jackson.  Sensing her hesitation, he says, “I can sleep on the couch if you want.  I know this is all kind of new again, and then, after what you’ve been through – I just – you know I’m not expecting anything, right?”

“Please don’t sleep on the couch.  I want you here, next to me.  I trust you more than anyone.  And besides, if you sleep on the couch, I would probably just end up coming over there to lie next to you, and that couch is not big enough for the both of us.”  

Jackson laughs at the thought of them trying to squeeze on to the tiny, hotel couch.  He is happy to hear her joking again, to see her smiling again.  He reaches up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.  “Good.  I know we talked on the phone the other night about you moving in to my room at home. I just wasn’t sure if you still wanted that.  If you need more time or anything, I can give you that.  I want to do this right this time.”

April looks a bit unsure as she asks, “Do what right, exactly?”

“This.  Us. Everything.  April, I’ve been fighting it ever since I signed those papers, but I can’t anymore.  And I don’t want to.  I have never stopped loving you and Montana showed me why.  I’ve been awful to you lately - snapping at you, not supporting you at work – all because I was stressing about dealing with my dad.  And you stayed by my side the whole time. You knew exactly what I needed even when I didn’t.  If you weren’t there I don’t know if I would have even had the courage to confront him. And Caroline – God – I don’t even want to think how that would have turned out.  You were my rock.  And I want to be that for you, too, for this if you need it, for everything.  I want us to try again.” She gasps at hearing him say those words, and her hazel eyes are wide with shock.  He needs to know for sure, though.  He needs to hear her answer. So, he takes a deep breath and asks, “Is that what you want, too?”