#i am so severely unhealthy obsessed with these little faggots and their little fruit cake activities

[sonny-d]

yes i cried over merlin s2ep9 and i will admit it bc i need to talk abt it to express just how much it was bc im so emotionally traumatized that there are only two things that will make me cry literally only two in very extreme amount but this shit right here did it for me anyway

i saw somebody a while ago say smth abt merlin definitely actually wanting to leave a few times freya being one of them bc hes been so repressed that just being allowed to be himself without hiding anything makes him fall in love with a girl in two days so much that hes gonna abandon his destiny and his friends to go live with her and be who he is, they are the ‘holy shit for the love of jesus christ our lord and savior get me the fuck out of here’ to each others ‘literally please im so lonely im surrounded by ppl but they all would want me dead if they knew’ and that is just beautiful it is a whole new level of crazy to someones crazy it is going insane to someones going insane and that is magnificent

also the part where she recognizes him while shes a beast tormenting the town that she runs away they need to save each other so bad that it can fuck up some old roach’s curse

AND THEN thats right im not done AND FUCKING THEN at the lake when merlins holding her and shes all like “oh u save me i am loved now i die good ehe” then she dies like that its so heartbreaking bc its like yeah she got saved bc she got to die with that but what abt him she just fucking left him like that to keep livin la vida loca (bad) with all the shit he almost managed to run away from

AND THEN (last one) when merlins doing stuff for arthur and he walks in and sits next to him to see whats up (literally beautiful that a prince would sit his royal ass on that floor next to his servant to make sure hes ok) and he has no idea abt freya so he treats it like a normal ass situation so merlin kinda acts different then falls into normal rhythm

(new paragraph it woulda been too long i have so much to say abt this) i was thinking abt how merlin handles certain situations bc like how is he not literally imploded rn then i realized the way id handle that shit is sit and think abt it but he doesnt do that, hes actually rly rly smart he just goes thru too much shit to actively and consistently be smart so he does like he did in this one and falls into a routine so that he doesnt think he just goes and keeps livin la vida loca and doesnt even worry abt it cuz hes not thinking abt it bc thats how he copes is not thinking abt it cuz hes smart

so i think arthur unconsciously knows this which is why he just comes in and fucks with merlin a lil bit then lists off the things to do so merlin definitely feels better bc it helps him not think but at the end when hes like deciding a facial expression hes thinking then and hes thinking “shit man im never getting out of here i gotta fuckin live like this goddamn that sucks ass” bc he knows its gonna be years till uther dies and years after that till arthur accepts magic and all that time he has to keep hunting his own kind and being an ally in the war literally against what he is and keep being praised for it (reference to s2ep8) and doesnt have a choice bc as hes recently learned fate will not let him run away with a girl and give up his destiny so he can live a good healthy life