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junkpoetic · 3 years

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Four

On the verge of his tenth mile, Elliot had a feeling like he had to urinate. With seemingly no shrubbery around he contemplated just going in his shorts. He figured by the time he’d reach the finish line the ratio of sweat to urine would hide the fact that there was any urine at all. When he made the decision that he was going to go for it, he slowed to a trot and attempt to release, but he couldn’t. There was only more feeling of having to go. He decided to ignore everything and began running faster again.

The wind and sweat made the road rash on his wrists and knees scream. On a whim he took a left at the next side street and slowed his run to a walk. Eventually he came to a complete stop. He found himself in a sort of rundown neighborhood that had a shoddy old shopping plaza in it vacant with more boarded windows than windows. For some reason he turned his microphone off. I did not realize this until we played back the tape later on, I was consumed in the bar lights with Juno Rafferty.

Elliot began walking door to door and pulling on them to see if any were accidentally left unlocked. He figured there had to be an old toilet somewhere inside. He doesn’t remember if it was the fourth or fifth door he tried but he noticed the board on the window next to it was loose. He looked around to make sure he was alone before climbing in. He was shocked when the light flicked on when he flipped the switch. The majority of the bulbs were burnt out but there was enough life in the lights that lit to allow him to see things clear enough. It looked like an old insurance company or doctor’s office, the smell of ink and paper still lingered among the dust. It was a room that sat stagnant, waiting for nothing. When he turned the bathroom light on the light flickered and fought before eventually burning consistently. He stood over the toilet waiting a lifetime to piss. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled before finally feeling a painful trickle. It looked more like apple cider than lemonade. Fuck he said beneath his breath. He attempted to flush but nothing happened, nor did the water turn on so he couldn’t wash his hands. He cranked the paper towel spool and unraveled a few sheets of hardened yellowed tissue and dabbed his wounds with it. Thankfully his cuts didn’t look as bad as they stung.

When he walked back out into the office the room felt dimmer. He wondered if more bulbs had burnt out while he was urinating. He pondered lightbulbs for some odd reason. He found it funny that when one burned out at his house, he didn’t change it right away. He’d just get used to dimmer light. He’d wait until enough burned out and change them all at once. There’s less flaw in dimmer light, he liked that. It leveled the playing field. He felt the same about the snow. Everyone’s yard looks the same in a snowstorm.

When he climbed back through the window, he gazed out upon the empty parking lot. The broken streetlamps, the dead weeds stuck between cracks in the concrete. The trashy graffiti that meant nothing to most people and everything to whoever created it. He tried to resurface from his cavernous mind, but something was off. He kept falling deeper. He stared at the graffiti for much longer than a moment. Stuck in gaze, he couldn’t make out what it said. A voice shouted startling him from his daydream. He didn’t hear what they said, he waved and trotted back toward the marathon course.

10.87 miles- Bloody. Brown piss. Delirium.

He didn’t remember to turn his mic back on until he felt the adhesive tape itching against his chest reminding him that he was wearing it.

“Paulie? You there?”

“Jesus Elliot, where have you been?”

“Took a fall, had find a toilet.”

“You alright?”

“I think so.”

He would never admit that he was not okay. He wasn’t even halfway through and so dehydrated. I told him to stop running but he kept rambling about lightbulbs and parking lots attempting to sound philosophical. It apparently made sense in his mind. I had to laugh because it reminded me of the first time we got drunk together.

“Call off the dogs E. I am worried about you now.”

“They’re so lonely and beautiful.”

“What?”

“Parking lots. They’re always waiting.”

“What?” I laughed but not really.

“Arrivals and departures. They’re stuck in between. Like an elevator if you pressed all the floors at once.”

“I am coming to meet you.”

He continued. “I have to show you the most beautiful parking lot I found.”

“Elliot, you need water.”

Total distance eleven miles. Total time one hundred twenty-five minutes and fifteen seconds. Split pace eleven minutes and thirty-seven seconds per mile.

Not long into his twelfth mile, his legs wouldn’t allow him to run. He struggled to walk for a short while before he couldn’t move at all. An ambulance arrived and took Elliot Knox away from the race. They took him to South Shore hospital and pumped him full of fluids. The last thing he said before turning his microphone off was “keep the clock running”.

I parted ways with Juno. She was kind enough to stay with my stuff at the bar while I took a cab to South Shore. The cab drivers name was Kingston and he drove like Jeff Gordon. It felt as if the tequila sodas I consumed were very disrupted in my stomach. He took sharp turns through back roads and went fifty miles per hour on straightaways. I managed to keep from vomiting but not by much. When I got to the hospital there were two other marathon runners awaiting a room, apparently Elliot was bad enough they booked him right away.

I tried to make sense of everything a I walked the long corridors of lights and glares pasts room that smelled of insulin and disease. He only ran eleven miles… sure he drank alcohol the night before and probably didn’t hydrate but Elliot seemed healthy enough to run at least a half marathon and possibly walk another half. It wasn’t until I arrived at his room and the doctor informed that Elliot wasn’t healthy enough to run a marathon nor was he healthy enough to run a half marathon. I felt dizzy and delirious much like Elliot sounded when he was talking about parking lots and light bulbs. Everything went blurry. I felt worse than I did in Kingston’s cab. I could no longer hold back the vomit once the doctor informed me that my best friend was dying.

When I went into his room, he was lying in bed smiling as the IV drip nursed him back to hydration. I did not tell him what the doctor told me. He’ll tell me when he’s ready. Suddenly the jargon about light bulbs and parking lots made much more sense.

Parking lots are places that no one ever talks about. They’re not glamorous. They’re often quite the opposite. They hold no address, and they’re left off maps, it’s like they don’t exist. So full of exhaust and the pollution of strangers constantly arriving and departing. So full during the day and so empty and lonely at night. Painted in bird shit, chewed gum, and cigarette ash. Full of Styrofoam trash, and paper cups of smoke, and they carry the weight of the happiest hellos and the saddest farewells.

I sat down in the chair at his bedside, and he insisted he was not done running. He brought up the time I saved his life. He always makes so much more of it than it was. I don’t think I really did much, but I suppose it goes to show how much we are affected by one another. Not just our friendship but people everywhere. The little things make a difference. The slightest detail can change someone’s everything.

“I didn’t save your life Elliot. I just happened to be there.”

“Yeah. You were there when I did not want to be.”

“It was Christmas Eve, I was just dropping off a gift.”

“Not just a gift. You gave me a Blonde On Blonde signed vinyl… possibly one of the greatest records of all time, signed.” He laughed.

“I didn’t realize you liked it that much.” I said.

“I don’t. I like that I was going to kill myself that night and you showed up with a gift.”

I didn’t know how to respond when he said that, so naturally I said. “How come you didn’t tell me that you’re dying.”

“Everyone’s dying.” He replied.

“You’re dying quicker.” I said.

“Imagine if I could apply my speed at dying to running a marathon.” He joked.

“Yeah.” I said not knowing what to say.

“Look, life is a marathon. I have been running my whole life. I’m tired Paulie. The outlook isn’t good. I want to enjoy whatever time I have left.”

“Did you enjoy running the Boston Marathon?” I teased.

“That was miserable. But I have to finish it.” He sniffed his nose toward me. “You smoke?”

“I smoked three cigarettes. Yes.” I replied.

“You’re a smoker now?”

“Does three cigarettes make me a smoker?” I said.

“Does eleven and a half miles make me a runner?” He replied.

“God no.” I laughed.

There was a resounding pause after that laugh that I’ll never forget. It was as if I could feel him coming to terms with his mortality even though he showed no signs of vulnerability. I guess when you know someone well enough you can see through them. It was difficult seeing Elliot be weak. I had only seen him week twice in my life, once that Christmas Eve night, which we never spoke of after, and then today on this October afternoon so full of gloom.

Later that evening he felt stable enough to refuse any more treatment. I called us a cab and lo and behold, Kingston was our driver. Elliot enjoyed the ride much more than I did. When we got back to the hotel, Elliot vanished into his hotel room for the remainder of the evening. I walked back to the bar hoping to God that she would still be there. I felt almost out of body as I reflected on the day. I felt a little guilty that my life back home hadn’t crossed my mind. I found myself wanting to smoke one hundred cigarettes with the Goddess of Light, Juno, on a sidewalk in the dark.

I pushed open the heavy door and walked in to find that she was gone.

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splenderai · 4 years

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What does it feel like being aro? Because I identify as demiromantic and lately I've been wondering if I'm just full aro. Like I've had crushes before and can imagine being in love but like actually being with someone??? Wouldn't know what to do or anything. Or am I just being paranoid because never in my 20+ years have I had a relationship?

Hello, anon ! This got very long (I apologize in advance !), so I'll be putting this under a read more.

It's... different.

You often feel alienated from everyone else. Everyone outside of the aro spectrum (alloromantics), whether they're straight, gay, bi, pan, or any other identity, experiences romantic attraction and can, on some level, relate to other alloromantics (the shared desire to fall in love, go on dates, maybe get married, etc.) That's not exactly the case for us aros. While some of us are okay with and can appreciate romance in theory, that's not true for all aros. Some have varying levels of repulsion towards romance. For me, I don't usually mind the idea of romantic relationships, but I'm repulsed by even the mere thought of being in one myself. I feel physically ill and uncomfortable at the thought of someone being interested in me in that way, and my mind completely blocks out the idea of me being in a romantic relationship with all the fixings. It's a complicated relationship with romance. While I can enthusiastically talk about, say, a couple in a series I'm watching and share that excitement with another fan, or I can feel real joy about a friend getting into a relationship and listen with interest about what that relationship is like, I can also be really repulsed with certain discussions of romance and struggle to understand certain kinds of relationships that are just not logical to me (like people who date who aren't friends or people who say they fall in love after a week of knowing someone). Society also puts a huge emphasis on romance and makes it seem like such an enormous and important part of your life. People around you are always talking about it starting from a young age. Television shows, movies, and other types of media are oversaturated with romantic plotlines. (As a result, representation for us in mainstream media is practically non-existent.) Romantic relationships are even placed on a pedestal and viewed by some as being more valuable and just overall better than platonic ones. None of it makes sense, and you feel a real disconnect from all these ideas and feelings that are just natural and commonplace to just about everyone around you.

It's tiring. Amatonormativity also leads to a lot of negativity and ridicule directed at single individuals. You're seen as immature if you've never dated before, and even in middle and high school kids will make fun of you if you've never had a significant other. If you're not married by the age of 35, people will assume you're undesirable, have a terrible personality, or something else of the sort. It's always assumed that there is a problem with you. A person who wants to live on your own with a pet makes you the Crazy Cat Lady who is someone you should avoid or never become yourself. When you try to tell others that you don't experience romantic attraction, they might say you sound ridiculous, that you just haven't found the right person yet (or worse, they might even see it as a challenge and try to pursue a relationship with you), that (especially if you're cis aroace or cis aro and heterosexual) you're just making it up so that you can feel special and weasel your way into the lgbtq+ community where you don't belong.

It's scary sometimes. Society tries to hammer into you (starting from a very young age) the idea that you're meant to find the love of your life with whom you'll spend the rest of your days. You'll have your 2.4 kids and spouse by your side, so you won't die alone. It's almost like there's this guidebook for the future, and yet you find yourself flipping through the pages trying to find the chapter or even just a footnote about people like us and what we can expect. Society tells us we'll be forever alone. Yeah, you have your friends, but they're likely alloromantics and at some point they'll be too tied up with their nuclear families or romantic partner(s) to fill that lonely void you'll have. Society doesn't have a positive outlook for people like us, so we have to forge our own paths.

There's usually a lot of inner struggle involved. Because of society's emphasis on romance and amatonormativity, there can be some internalized arophobia that some of us struggle with. Plus, a lot of us don't learn about aspec identities until later on in life, so we've spent many hours, days, even years distraught because we were under the impression that there must have been something wrong with us. I only found out about aromanticism and asexuality when I was in university, so I had my fair share of years where I just couldn't understand why I was so different from my friends, the people on TV, and all the others around me. I know some aros who would have panic attacks because they thought that they'd inevitably have to get into a relationship, have kids, and so on because they were led to believe that there was no alternative or that it'd be even scarier to live alone for the rest of their lives. A few of my aro friends and I (and I would think a lot of other aros) have talked about how we're all almost always going through these bouts where we doubt whether or not we're actually aro. It's really hard to know if you're outright lacking romantic attraction or if those people are right and you're just a late bloomer or haven't found the right person yet. Like I could be demiromantic ? I can't really be sure, so there are times where I think I'm feeling something, and I have a crisis because it could be romantic attraction ? Or maybe it's just indigestion ? I've also gone 20+ years without being in a relationship, so I can understand your concern there. Unfortunately, there is no easy answer.

It's a lot.

But it's also really liberating and something that a lot of us are very proud of.

When you're able to climb past the internalized arophobia and learn that you can absolutely live a very fulfilling and happy life without being in a romantic relationship, you really start to see life through a new lens and have a much more positive outlook on the future. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live alone, with a pet, with a close friend or friends (this is especially important !!! it's often looked down upon and people will insist that there must be something going on between two friends living together but that doesn't have to be the case !!!). All of these are options available to you. You're never truly alone, either. A lot of us have really great relationships with our friends and family (blood or found), in part because we don't put romantic relationships on a pedestal and tend to spend more time with them since we're just not involved in romance. There are interest groups out there (both locally and long distance like on the internet) that you can join to meet new people and do or talk about something you really enjoy (ex. a dnd group that meets weekly). Maybe even get to know your coworkers ! In most cases, you see them eight hours a week, five days a week, and it can be nice learning about these familiar faces (some of my closest friends have been current or former coworkers). There are communal housing initiatives out there where you can have your own space, but you are also surrounded by neighbors (similar to dorm life in university). You want kids but don't want to have a romantic partner or spouse ? You can adopt and coparent with a close friend ! There are so many possibilities out there, and I hope that one day they will become more accepted and even commonplace in society.

It's a lot to consider, and these are only my own experiences and those of my friends and others that I've read about over the years. The best way to figure out whether or not you're aro is to talk to other aros, read the accounts of other aros to see what their own concerns, experiences, and thoughts are on their own identity, and read through some helpful resources on aromanticism ! This blog is a really nice place to start, and this is also a really great resource (that I found on the aforementioned blog). If you're still unsure, that's totally valid and understandable ! If you feel more comfortable using the aromantic label in the meantime, that's absolutely okay, too ! Just like with sexuality, romantic attraction can be fluid, too. If the you today feels closer to aromantic than demiromantic, then you can identify as such. If you realize that you are demiromantic or even something else later on down the road, that's also okay ! You're just as valid either way. Remember that, anon. It's okay to be aro, it's okay to be arospec, and it's okay if that changes down the road. At the end of the day, you're you !

#i hope this helps out in some way anon !#i ended up rambling a lot...#thank you for the ask and please feel free to reach out if you have more questions or want to talk more about this !#asks with min

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24hourchampagnediet-blog1 · 5 years

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DAY BY DAY - Midland Reporter-Telegram

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/day-by-day-midland-reporter-telegram/

DAY BY DAY - Midland Reporter-Telegram

Healthy habits keep these Midlanders on the right track

Updated 4:21 pm CDT, Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

In recent years, Midland seems to have been claiming its healthy side. For every big box gym such as TruFit, Planet Fitness and the soon-to-be open Crunch Fitness, there are even more specialty and boutique gyms and studios. Health food has made its way into the restaurant and food scenes with meal prep services, food shops and menu options.

Whether it’s the influence of transitional residents to the area who may come from health-conscious cities such as Austin or Dallas, or just a natural trend to embrace heath and wellness, Midland is increasingly steeping into it. A healthy community can mean a healthy city, and there are so many options.

These Midlanders have incorporated daily habits that have led to healthy living. They’re not trainers or super athletes, either. Fighting the daily grind of work like most everyone else, they show that a healthy outlook can be a good thing.

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet…

ERICA MANN, health coach

Erica Mann, 44, may offer craft cocktails at her lounge, the Blue Door, but her healthy outlook is far away from maraschino cherries and sugar syrup. Before her days as a business owner, the Houston native was a high school counselor at an at-risk charter school and ESL tutor for adults. She is also an advocate for the spaying and neutering of cats in the community. She is in the process of becoming a health coach, but at the same time enjoys a bourbon old fashioned, a bold cabernet or a reposado tequila with Topo Chico.

A MENTAL START LEADS TO A HEALTHY DAY

Mentally, it is important that I start my day with calm and intention. I make a cup of coffee, sit down, and allow myself 30 minutes to an hour to sip, read whatever interests me in the moment and go over my goals and plans for the day.

I eat primarily paleo, mainly filling my plate with quality protein, vegetables and healthy fats. I keep my fridge and pantry stocked with nutritious items that make these quick meals easy and convenient to put together.

I also attend spin and weight-lifting classes at the YMCA four days a week. Choosing a healthy lifestyle that works for me has elevated my energy levels in ways I never thought possible; I have more energy at 44 than I did at 24.

EARLY HABITS STICK WITH SOME ADJUSTMENTS

I grew up in a house that valued a healthy lifestyle, and I was an athlete through college, so it has always been part of me. However, what I view as healthy has changed over the last four years. I grew up during the non-fat, grain heavy, margarine-is-better-than-butter, fake-sugar era. This approach to health left me exhausted, bloated, anxious and prone to shaky hands and blood sugar swings. Once I switched to a diet based on real food, that welcomed protein, good fats and loads of vegetables, everything about the way I felt changed. Once you feel good after feeling so bad, going back isn’t an option.

MAKING IT WORK WITH TIME MANAGEMENT AND PRIORITIZING

As far as meal times, I take an intuitive approach to eating, and only have a meal when I’m hungry. There are many times when it is technically “time” for my first meal of the day, but if I’m not genuinely hungry; I push it off until I am. I’m able to do this on a consistent basis by planning out my meals in advance and focusing on dishes that will only take 10-30 minutes to prepare.

I schedule workouts into my day, just as I would an appointment, work, or happy hour with friends. Doing this signifies that my physical health is just as much a priority as every other “to do” on my list.

CLEAN EATING IS SIMPLE MATH

I cook at home for almost all my meals, but I typically keep it very simple and quick. Protein plus veg plus fat, is my usual motto, but if I am physically craving a carb, I’ll add something like half a potato or a plantain. I cook without recipes much of the time, but when I do use them, the blog Defined Dish is my favorite source.

What I choose when I’m eating out depends on the circumstances. If it is a special night out, I pretty much order what looks good to me, but I’m mindful not to select something that will make me feel terrible. While a big plate of pasta might taste like heaven, I know that I will feel awful later; instead, I might order a side of gooey mac and cheese and split it with the table. I still get the yum, without sabotaging the rest of my night.

For a regular random day of eating out, my go-tos are bunless burgers or big salads topped with some sort of protein. You can get them almost anywhere, and I never feel like I’m missing out; both options are delicious and filling.

CHEAT? NEVER!

My philosophy is that if you eat nutrient-dense foods most of the time, then an occasional plate of Tex-Mex or a big chocolate brownie isn’t a cheat; it is just food. No need to feel guilty or punish yourself on the treadmill tomorrow; enjoy it, then do your normal thing the next day. A friend said it well: that there are always foods and sometimes foods.

HAVING AN INFLUENCE

My approach to food and working out has been influenced most by Mark Sisson who wrote “The Primal Blueprint” and “The Keto Reset Diet.” Based on the feedback I get from my health-based Instagram account, I have even influenced others. I believe this so strongly that I have become a certified Health Coach and a 21 Day Sugar Detox Coach so that I can begin helping on a wider scale.

LAURA METZGER, martial arts practitioner

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Actor Laura Metzger has worked as a stage combatant and fight choreographer, which align with her interest in martial arts.

Actor Laura Metzger has worked as a stage combatant and fight…

I wake up early before the rest of the house gets busy and I do a focused study. I read my Bible and I also read inspirational and motivational literature and select a portion I can apply to that day. Maybe not so quick to react? Which comes in handy in current Midland traffic, or how can I better someone else’s day?

I’m a list-maker, so in the morning I create a list of daily goals in order of importance, and as I go through the day and tic off my list, I feel accomplished:) My “sigung” (technically a master’s master) Monica Morse of Matthews Martial Arts taught me the importance of continuous goal- setting. I wouldn’t be wearing a third-degree black belt without it.

YEARS IN THE MAKING

My son and I began on a journey in martial arts almost a decade ago, I was spurned to do so because I missed doing stage fight choreography and was seeking an activity my then-young son would love. We started doing the martial art Kajukenbo as an activity and the dojo (school) became our family. He now has his black belt, and my 9-year-old daughter is a green belt.

We get a ton of physical activity, but the mental activity is just as gratifying. Martial arts is kicking and punching but it’s also mental control. When you have to put your fist or foot through a board, you have to believe you can. When you have to take down a person twice your size you have to know the technique and believe you can.

Our art has a saying, “Nothing is impossible to a willing mind,” and it’s true. The body is capable of doing anything if the mind allows, so we get a double workout, mind and body!

FINDING THE RIGHT CHANNEL

When I started martial arts, I had no clue how to channel my energy. After years of training, I’ve learned from my sigungs Monica Morse and Jason Matthews how to eliminate the things that were pulling me away from my goals and well-being and stay focused on my vision for my life. What a concept.

MAKES TIME TO GIVE TIME

Ultimately, martial arts are fluid. You can train twice a week, or you can be up there every day.

I use 30-45 minutes for my morning preparation, and I’m currently training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at our dojo every Monday for an hour to hour and a half. Then I give back, which is super rewarding. I teach our “little dragons” throughout three 30-minute classes ranging from age 2 to 7 years old. Then, if I can make it, I like to hit the ladies’ martial arts class on Wednesdays.

Many times, I find myself walking through a form, or kata, while waiting for dinner to cook, or my kids might go through self-defense with me. We recently confronted a bullying issue and precepts of martial arts helped me guide my child through it. It’s this physical and mental marriage that’s also an individual and family activity for us.

BURN THROUGH THOSE CALORIES

I have tracked my food since college, but nowadays I track my food and water intake. I cheat just like everyone else, but the best part is, I can go spend time at the dojo and it doesn’t seem like a workout and it burns huge numbers of calories.

I could always do better with snacking, but my recent addiction is Skinny Dipped Almonds. They’re a desert and healthy snack in one.

We are a busy family, so we do get takeout; however, but with my tracking app I can figure out my healthiest options. We love to use the grill or small smoker for less fried foods. If I just want to indulge, I love Luigi’s. The restaurant is a staple here in Midland and they have a killer White Russian — and I love a good White Russian.

FROM DOJO TO STAGE

For my influences, Sigung Monica Morse taught me how to prioritize my life and keep doing so, while Sigung Jason Matthews taught me how to fight for what I want.

CAITLIN MILES, dancer

Caitlin Miles, 30, is a human resources representative for Kinder Morgan Inc. Originally from Post, she grew up in Midland. She is a graduate of Lee High School and West Texas A&M University with a degree in musical theater. She and her husband, Jared, share their home with two cats and one golden retriever. She’s active on stage and choreographing with Midland Community Theatre and Summer Mummers. Dance has helped with her theater pursuits and has been a foundation for her physical fitness.

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Caitlyn Miles has been dancing since she was 2-years-old; last year she incorporated yoga into her exercise regimen.

Caitlyn Miles has been dancing since she was 2-years-old; last year…

A NEW EXERCISE IS NOW A REGULAR THING

Yoga has become a huge part of my healthy lifestyle. I had taken classes intermittently for years; however, I chose to make it a regular part of my exercise regimen last year. Not only has it benefited me physically, yoga has helped me alleviate stress and promote relaxation and peace of mind.

A YOUNG START DEFINED MILES’ NEEDS

My mother put me in dance classes when I was 2 years old, and it’s been an important part of my life ever since.

While I played other sports like volleyball, basketball and softball, the artistry of dance truly spoke to my soul and kept me motivated to keep pursuing it. I minored in dance at West Texas A&M University. I’ve continued it with shows at Midland Community Theatre and taken adult dance classes offered at Midland Festival Ballet and Dance Elite.

Because I grew up with an active lifestyle, I have a built-in need for physical fitness. But, just like with sports, regular exercise classes and machines can’t hold my interest. Yoga has been a great substitute and supplement for dance. It combines fitness, flexibility, and the movement and flow of it is beautiful and dance-like.

MELTING AWAY DAILY STRESS

Yoga has definitely helped me reduce tension and stress from work and life, in general. Yoga gives me a chance to step away from my phone, focus on my breathing and follow a guided meditation session at the end of each practice. I’ve tried different types of yoga styles, from Yin Yoga to Vinyasa Flow, and I always feel refreshed and revived after every class, no matter the intensity.

DAILY GOALS HELP WITH AN ACTIVE LIFESTYLE

Sometimes it’s hard to justify making time for exercise. I have to tell myself that if I have time to binge-watch a show on Netflix, then I definitely have time for healthy habits. It’s easier to manage when I make health an integral part of my day. Plenty of studios and gyms offer classes throughout the day to accommodate anyone’s schedule. I aim to do some sort of physical activity every day, and that might mean that I go to a class right after work or during lunch (I just can’t wake up early enough to go to a morning class; kudos to those who do!). I also don’t skip weekends. When I’m dancing in Summer Mummers that is a good workout and covers the weekends. Midland Yoga Works has fantastic classes during the weekends. I love their Vinyasa Flow classes and Aerial Yoga.

A COOKING COUPLE KEEPS FOOD ON CHECK

My family loves to cook, and I grew up eating a lot of home-cooked meals. I’ve always been able to bake; however, I didn’t think I had inherited the cooking gift. I could make pasta, but I overcooked or burned a lot of other dishes. Recently, I decided that I wanted to improve my cooking skills, and a work colleague suggested that I try Blue Apron. My husband and I have so much fun making dinners with home delivery meal kits. We love having all the ingredients we need delivered directly to us, and we’ve made a variety of meals that I never would have attempted on my own.

We don’t frequent restaurants often, but, when we do, I see them as a treat. If I’m craving a burger or pizza, I’m going to eat what I want. I’ve found that if I deny myself something I want because it’s “unhealthy,” then I’m only going to desire it more and make myself miserable in the end.

THE RARE FOOD COURT INDULGENCE

I love Stir Fry 88 at the Midland Park Mall, and it’s so perfectly placed near the Great American Cookie. My favorite thing to grab is the Mandarin Chicken with half rice, half noodles, and a fudge brownie for dessert.

FRIENDS INDEED

I don’t mind working out by myself, but I love when I can go to class with my friends. I’ve gotten some of my friends into aerial yoga, and I love laughing with them while hanging upside down from silk hammocks.

I also find that working out is much more enjoyable when I get to participate with my husband. He doesn’t mind trying some of the less intense yoga classes with me, and we both participate in Summer Mummers. We also just started playing golf, and it has been really fun struggling with learning a new sport with him.

CHRIS STONEDALE, super dad

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Chris Stonedale, resource development director for the Boys & Girls Club of the Permian Basin, works out daily and eats a healthy diet so he can keep up with his kids, daughter Harlowe, 6, and son, Burke, 3 months.

Chris Stonedale, resource development director for the Boys &…

Chris Stonedale, 36, serves as the resource development director for the Boys & Girls Club of the Permian Basin. The Arlington native moved to Midland more than a decade ago and has been involved in nonprofits either on staff or on boards and committees. While he works to raise funds and awareness for Boys & Girls Club, he also is a coach at Midland Christian School. Health and fitness are a daily habit for Stonedale and his wife, Cassie, but mostly, he sees it as a tribute to his family that includes his daughter Harlowe, 6, and son Burke, 3 months old, and two dogs.

ROUTINE IS CRUCIAL; TEAMWORK HELPS

That is one of the most important things for me regarding staying active and with my food choices. My wife and I count our macros and limit ourselves to a calorie count each day. That forces me to make each meal and snack deliberate; it also keeps me from accidentally polishing off a whole can of Pringles in a sitting.

Being active is also a super important part of my day. The older I get the easier it is to be more and more sedentary. I try and spend my lunchtime at the gym rather than eating out. This allows me to recharge both physically and mentally at the midpoint of the day and allows me to come back strong in the afternoon.

At the end of the workday my wife and I then work out together. We motivate and keep each other accountable in our fitness goals. The couple that lifts together, stays together. It’s also very important to me to spend some time at the end of the day in prayer and silent reflection. Just taking that moment each day to get your mind right, think about all your blessings and forget about all the trivial things that pop up is paramount to mental and spiritual health.

FAMILY LED HIM TO A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE — AMONG OTHER THINGS

Old age and old injuries had started to catch up to me. Add in bad eating habits, and I was seeing my mobility and energy levels suffer. I realized I didn’t want to be that dad and husband watching his kids play and have fun, but rather be out there running and playing with them. I owe it to my family to be as active and healthy as I can.

HEALTHY LIVING HAS REAPED BIG REWARDS

I have seen that even as I get older, my energy level has stayed pretty high. I love the opportunity to run around with the kids at work and do fun things with the family. The diet and the counting calories aspect are awful, but a routine makes it easier. We also have gotten involved with our fitness community like working out at TruFit and being part of a macros-counting community on Facebook. That has made everything easier and fun.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

You absolutely have to make time. As my wife constantly reminds me, you make time for things that are important. If that means going to the gym late at night or early in the morning because you have a scheduled lunch meeting, then that’s what you have to do. With a newborn baby in our house, we have had to do some pretty imaginative scheduling. But it is important for us to keep ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually healthy.

DINING OUT? NO PROBLEM

Unless we are deciding to cheat on our diets, which will happen occasionally, we use websites to plan out what we are going to get before we arrive. There are so many sites and available resources now that you can plan your macros and calories for almost any local restaurant.

HOME IS WHERE THE INFLUENCE IS

The biggest influence for me has been my wife. She truly pushes me to be the best possible version of myself. That doesn’t mean she expects me to be 2 percent body fat or have an amazing physique. She expects me to be healthy, live a long time, and be good example of spiritual and mental health for our family. In that aspect, we push each other. It’s definitely important to have that kind of mutual understanding for the importance of healthy lifestyles.

JASTIN TAYLOR, pro wrestler

By day, Jastin Taylor, 36, is an adviser with the Texas Health and Human Services Commission. By night, or rather on certain dates, he’s body slamming opponents in the squared circle. Jastin “The Living Proof” Taylor is also a professional wrestler who has worked locally with OSW Wresting as well as with World Wrestling Entertainment. He has wrestled in Canada and throughout the U.S. He has to keep his body strong and in shape for those matches, which requires him to pursue a life of fitness and strength.

SIMPLE HABITS

I drink a gallon of water a day. I exercise five to seven times per week. And I always try to end the day with something I like doing whether it’s playing video games, watching a film or catching up on America’s current events.

Jastin Taylor is a professional wrestler. His daily routine includes working out and drinking plenty of water.

Jastin Taylor is a professional wrestler. His daily routine…

THE RIGHT CHOICES

Speaking from the perspective of a professional wrestler, you have to have a good amount of athleticism, power and stamina to perform at a high level. So, for me, the healthier choices are necessary for me to accomplish my goals.

Plus, it’s about the quality of life. Life is harder when you are fatigued, stressed and have no outlets of release. A healthy lifestyle allows you to combat those things with activity, stress-relief and the positivity of knowing that you accomplished something daily.

MAKING A COMEBACK

Not too long ago, I was in a darker place, I lost a special person in my life and things weren’t quite going my way as far as wrestling is concerned. My eating habits got worse, and my time in the gym lessened. For that two to three months, I noticed a real difference in my mentality. I secluded myself from others and invited negative thoughts into my world. As a result, my body suffered, and my confidence waned. I know from experience how much harder life is when you live like that. Now that I have rediscovered that part of my life, I feel more motivated and stronger than ever. It’s really amazing how much of a difference physical and mental health make.

LIVING LIFE IN THE FASTING LANE

I am currently using a technique called “intermittent fasting,” which means I have a limited window of time to eat my meals for the day, and then the rest of the day I’m fasting or not eating. Based on my fasting schedule, I can’t have my first meal each day until 2 p.m. It definitely affects my entire schedule at work, and I go almost my entire work day without eating. Since most people lunch around noon, I still can’t eat at that time. But, that allows me to utilize that break to go to the gym instead. Every day I can at least hit the gym once because I know that is basically a free hour for me. That small change has led to gym consistency, which is really something you need to stay on track.

MAINTAINING COOL WITH FOOD

At home, most of my food sits in the freezer instead of the refrigerator. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I was unhealthy, that was the opposite. Since I am cooking most of the time, my salmon, chicken, veggies and steaks completely fill my freezer. My fridge, on the other hand, just contains water, liquid egg whites or fruits. It’s sometimes a pain to have to cook all the time, but the Foreman grill at least makes it easier!

When I go to restaurants, I try to pull from the healthier options. I try to do a sweet potato if I need a carbohydrate, and I tend to stick with steaks or salmon dishes. I also will order an unsweet tea and a water for my drinks, that way I can add stevia or something low-sugar to the tea and I have a water there to limit the number of refills I ask for at the table. For me, it wasn’t about making drastic changes, but you make small changes and build upon that. It’s getting a regular meal instead of a supersize meal, doing a can of soda instead of a big bottle. Practicing these habits helps when you go to restaurants or stores as well.

CHEAT MEALS ARE WELCOME

I’m constantly traveling for wrestling, and Midland doesn’t have this restaurant called Raising Cane’s, which serves primarily chicken fingers. I absolutely love to go there and will often save my cheat meal for when I can get to one of those. The better question might be: what won’t I eat on a cheat day? I’m a typical American guy. so I love pizza, burgers and chicken fingers.

PEER PRESSURE

If anyone has influenced my choices it would just be wrestlers, celebrities or just people who have gotten to better places with their consistency. It’s inspiring to see your peers working hard and showing discipline to be where they are. Just when I think I can relax, I see someone posting about a workout or flexing in a photo and I will immediately say to myself, “I guess I could be doing more.” Staying motivated is key when trying to change to a healthier lifestyle. m

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fuckyeahtattoogirls-blog1 · 5 years

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DAY BY DAY - Midland Reporter-Telegram

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/day-by-day-midland-reporter-telegram/

DAY BY DAY - Midland Reporter-Telegram

Healthy habits keep these Midlanders on the right track

Updated 4:21 pm CDT, Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet consists of vegetables and proteins

Erica Mann, owner of the Blue Door and a health coach, normal diet…

ERICA MANN, health coach

A MENTAL START LEADS TO A HEALTHY DAY

EARLY HABITS STICK WITH SOME ADJUSTMENTS

MAKING IT WORK WITH TIME MANAGEMENT AND PRIORITIZING

CLEAN EATING IS SIMPLE MATH

CHEAT? NEVER!

HAVING AN INFLUENCE

LAURA METZGER, martial arts practitioner

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Actor Laura Metzger has worked as a stage combatant and fight choreographer, which align with her interest in martial arts.

Actor Laura Metzger has worked as a stage combatant and fight…

YEARS IN THE MAKING

Our art has a saying, “Nothing is impossible to a willing mind,” and it’s true. The body is capable of doing anything if the mind allows, so we get a double workout, mind and body!

FINDING THE RIGHT CHANNEL

MAKES TIME TO GIVE TIME

Ultimately, martial arts are fluid. You can train twice a week, or you can be up there every day.

BURN THROUGH THOSE CALORIES

I could always do better with snacking, but my recent addiction is Skinny Dipped Almonds. They’re a desert and healthy snack in one.

FROM DOJO TO STAGE

For my influences, Sigung Monica Morse taught me how to prioritize my life and keep doing so, while Sigung Jason Matthews taught me how to fight for what I want.

CAITLIN MILES, dancer

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Caitlyn Miles has been dancing since she was 2-years-old; last year she incorporated yoga into her exercise regimen.

Caitlyn Miles has been dancing since she was 2-years-old; last year…

A NEW EXERCISE IS NOW A REGULAR THING

A YOUNG START DEFINED MILES’ NEEDS

My mother put me in dance classes when I was 2 years old, and it’s been an important part of my life ever since.

MELTING AWAY DAILY STRESS

DAILY GOALS HELP WITH AN ACTIVE LIFESTYLE

A COOKING COUPLE KEEPS FOOD ON CHECK

THE RARE FOOD COURT INDULGENCE

FRIENDS INDEED

CHRIS STONEDALE, super dad

Photo: Tim Fischer/Midland Reporter-Telegram

Chris Stonedale, resource development director for the Boys &…

ROUTINE IS CRUCIAL; TEAMWORK HELPS

FAMILY LED HIM TO A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE — AMONG OTHER THINGS

HEALTHY LIVING HAS REAPED BIG REWARDS

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

DINING OUT? NO PROBLEM

HOME IS WHERE THE INFLUENCE IS

JASTIN TAYLOR, pro wrestler

SIMPLE HABITS

Jastin Taylor is a professional wrestler. His daily routine includes working out and drinking plenty of water.

Jastin Taylor is a professional wrestler. His daily routine…

THE RIGHT CHOICES

MAKING A COMEBACK

LIVING LIFE IN THE FASTING LANE

MAINTAINING COOL WITH FOOD

CHEAT MEALS ARE WELCOME

PEER PRESSURE

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davidastbury · 4 years

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The Couple

I had a feeling that things would not go well for them. Everything looked fine; they were young and radiated happiness and optimism - he, doing well at his firm; she, post-grad in Russian Lit and offered a permanent position - you couldn’t find a nicer couple. But I had this feeling and it coloured the way I viewed them.

Impossible to put into words, of course. It wasn’t anything that I could explain - utterly intangible - to the point that I suspected myself of projecting some inner malice - some grudging resentment - perhaps some unconscious jealousy.

Only later, when hearing from friends, did a faint perception begin to dawn. There had been too much of ‘something’ about them. I didn’t know what that something was - I still don’t know what it was ... but that ‘too much’, which had illuminated their happiness and optimism, became the ‘too much’ which broke them.

Heart To Heart

In the gentlest way she was reminded of how life can upset the most careful plans and how our affections and wishes sometimes change. It is difficult for young people to appreciate this. There can be massive personal changes when careers and locations and ambitions are being settled. It needs to be carefully thought over. As if to consolidate these important points it was also mentioned (again in the gentlest way) that the commitment to love doesn’t always survive physical impairment or the loss of features that may have played a big part in that love.

She replied - ‘I would never, never give up someone I loved. It wouldn’t matter what happened to him; I would love him the same as I always did. It wouldn’t change my feelings at all - nothing like that would change my feelings - I would love him just as much - I would love him more!’

Young people eh?

1964…..A Fine Romance

She:

She used to sit on her boss’s knee and flick his tie – she took part in beauty contests and had been on TV – she was stalked by a footballer – she was assaulted by a dentist – she went to the Lucy Clayton school of modelling – she liked pubs and would order pints of beer and leave them – she couldn’t cook – she enjoyed dancing by herself – she didn’t mind men ‘trying it on’ – she loved her German shepherd dog and she wanted to live in New York.

He:

He wanted to marry her.

Up the Stairs

He didn’t actually lie to her, but he often raised her hopes by saying that he was thinking of making a move - and that they might live together - but nothing definite - nothing specific. She would cautiously try to draw-out more information, but he would change the subject, as if it wasn’t very important to either of them. And time passed, and he visited her erratically - when he felt like it. She was always waiting for him in her cramped top-of-the-stairs flat - waiting for the phone to ring - rehearsed in subjects that might interest him - keeping the ingredients for his favourite meals - ready to change quickly for going out, whatever he wanted - but always waiting.

She knew he was seeing someone else; her friends told her. It hurt dreadfully, but she didn’t blame him - instead she blamed the girl and felt like killing her. It wasn’t his fault - he was just a fool - too good-looking for his own good - too stupid to realise that no one would ever love him as much as she did ... never ... not ever.

American Literature

A friend invited me to go along with him to an open lecture at Manchester University. The subject was ‘The Modern American Novel’ - my friend was actually studying fluid mechanics but wanted to ‘broaden his outlook’.

About twenty of us turned up - bunched together on the first three rows of the lecture theatre - mostly students but also a few lost souls needing to pass a few hours somewhere warm. The lecturer gave a long introduction of the area to be covered - lots of names - Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck and so on. And then he asked us to name the writer who had done most to create our understanding of the American psyche and the American way of life.

Working along the line the names were trotted out - mostly what you would expect - but a girl near me said ‘William Burroughs’ and the chap with her called out ‘Jack Kerouac’. I tried to be honest - after all I was only eighteen years old - I didn’t want to sound pretentious and I was prepared to be laughed at.

I called out ‘Grace Metalious’.

This Morning

Dead fox lying at the side of the road. Hit by a vehicle but had somehow made it to the pavement. Hated by everyone - hunted by toffs on horses, shot at by farmers, gassed by the men from the ministry - living a life of hiding by day and searching for food at night.

I once fed a fox all through a winter. Every night I put food in a dish and every night the fox came. One day, in springtime, this same fox came to the garden with her cubs. She let me get near but wouldn’t allow me to touch them. Friends thought I was being fanciful when I said that she had come to show off her family, but I didn’t mind. They sometimes tried to cut through my illusions by asking - ‘Do you know what happens when a fox gets into a hen-house?’ My only reply was that hens should not be crammed into sheds like that - you cannot blame the fox - it’s not likely that he would take a single portion as if in Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Anyway ... it’s all over for this one. Lying on his side, eye open, lips pulled back in a snarl. That snarl says it all - his final comment on the whole rotten lot of us.

Night Visiting ... Winter 2009

The top floor flat was always full of visitors – all refugees from Iraq – men leaning against cushions drinking tea, women endlessly cooking and children swarming everywhere. We would shout to them and faces would appear at the top of the stairs, peering down to see who it was. The women would wipe their hands and the children would jump about - squealing with happiness. The men would get up and rush to help us. Pat struggling up the narrow stairs with bags bulging with gifts and me behind, staggering with a sack of Basmati rice.

She keeps busy - supporting many social issues - animal welfare, children in central Africa. She attends all sorts of committees, and being competent in bygone office skills, takes minutes and types reports. An active church member, skilful and good humoured In ecclesiastical politics; she has served a long line of encumbents and keeps contact with many of them. She achieved newspaper prominence in the 1960s as a champion for coeducation - speaking of the benefits of educating boys and girls together. Perhaps she was remembering her own mixed schooling - the creative aspects of competitiveness - the happy knockabout for those who didn’t have brothers or sisters - the blossoming confidence in dealing with the opposite sex - the buzz and thrill in remembering those wonderful years, all neatly packaged in her memory. But one aspect she keeps to herself - (but who am I to say that?) - is how quiet the school was within minutes of the final bell - the noise of her shoes on the corridor - the sunshine - the smell of polish - the boy waiting for her in the bicycle sheds.

Summer ... 1958

A hot afternoon. Unable to decide whether to stay or go. Russell looking at me - those eyes - as biologically close to Caroline’s as it was possible to be. And she was in the next room practicing at the piano. I could actually hear the thud of her thumbs and imagined her splayed fingers - stabbing through the octaves - wrists arched, skin stretched. And the noise - it couldn’t be called music - the noise made my head spin until I had no thoughts at all - just the start of a strange, painless ache that would never get any worse - and would never go away.

A Fall in Winter - 2015

A fabulous winter day; all things bright and beautiful - the muffled crunch of snow under your feet and a low sun shining right into your eyes. Very cold indeed - the road is frozen and will remain frozen.

He was walking too fast - worse than that he hadn’t adapted his way of walking to the new conditions - he wasn’t using the required slow, flat-footed walk - instead he was striding quickly along the pavement as if the ice didn’t exist.

So he fell. Quite a balletic fall - not at all slapstick or silent-movie funny. He landed with a thud and lay still, looking at the ground with an immediate self-consciousness of having done something silly, and yet staring down as if blaming the pavement itself. At the same time he was cautiously testing his injuries - you cannot fall like that, with such a thud, and get away with it - despite the pain there appeared to be no fractures.

So he lay in the snow - feeling very odd, trying to get over onto his side, wincing. Several people had rushed over - passers-by who had seen the old man fall. They crouched down around him - so many of them that it became like a tiny room opened up to the sky. So many questions! He tried to tell them that he was fine - that he wasn’t hurt. And then he started to apologise; he wanted them to know that he was sorry for having fallen and taken up their time. And then he felt a choking gratitude at their kindness - these total strangers who had been going about their own business but had put that aside - like the woman who pressed her gloves over his hands as if he belonged to her family.

Learning Our Lesson

Whatever she wanted we got her. We got it and doubled it. Whatever one of us got for her the other one added to it. Whenever she wanted our time, time stood still for us. Whenever she needed specialist help we begged the services of friends, some of whom, wearied by our persistent requests, dropped us.

There was no end to what we would do for her, but there was an ending of sorts - and we still don’t really believe it.

People now say - not with words but with their tone of voice - ‘Well, we warned you - I hope you’ve learned your lesson’. ’ And we nod our heads at their wisdom - knowing damned well that we will do exactly the same again.

Old Photograph

The photograph is from the winter of 1963. Two young people standing in the snow. That winter was one of the coldest on record; the snow came and the snow stayed. The photo shows the two of them, smiling, holding hands, with snowflakes in their hair and icicles dripping on the railings behind them.

It��s interesting and rather dramatic; the couple are in dark coats - creating a sharp contrast to the absorbing white everywhere else. They have a strong presence - you cannot stop looking at them.

So what happened? The snow eventually stopped. The ice thawed. The two young people no longer held hands and smiled at each other ... everything melted away ... back in 1963.

Visiting the sick ...

I heard from someone that the Rebbe was ill, but the doctors had allowed him home. Our friendship was slight - I enjoyed making myself useful, driving him to appointments, helping him with shopping bags in the street, things like that - and I decided to visit him. So ... holding a basket of fruit, I rang the doorbell and one of his students took me to his room.

He looked very frail - his face as white as his beard. I gave him the fruit and he smiled and thanked me. I must have given the impression that it was no big deal; it was just a basket of fruit - but he quickly put me right.

‘No, no!’ he said. ‘This is important. You have given me the opportunity of fulfilling a mitzvah. I am going to say a Blessing over this fruit and then I am going to eat. The fruit is physical, it belongs in the physical world, but saying the Blessing will transform it - it will no longer be simply physical. This is not something insignificant - this is something very important. This is a miracle and anyone can do it.

Say the Blessing with me and together we will do this miracle.’

Then

She had been his girlfriend for a few weeks and the boy decided to introduce her to his parents. They liked her instantly and soon she was frequently calling at the family home. More than that, they got along so well with her that the girl visited when her boyfriend was away - working in other cities and sometimes overseas.

When he was home, he invited his dad to meet up with the two of them in a nearby bar. They spent the evening talking - talking about everything. And then, this became a fairly regular thing; the three of them at a little table, drinking and endlessly talking.

Once, he said to his dad - ‘We’ll see you later as usual’ - and his dad replied - ‘No, you don’t want me around. Let it be the two of you’.

The son replied - ‘Of course we want you to be with us!’

And so the dad did as he was told.

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limejuicer1862 · 5 years

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Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Lydia Unsworth

is the author of two collections of poetry: Certain Manoeuvres (Knives Forks & Spoons, 2018) and Nostalgia for Bodies (Winner, 2018 Erbacce Poetry Prize). She has two pamphlets forthcoming in 2019 from above / ground press and Ghost City Press. Recent work can be found in Ambit, Litro, Tears in the Fence, Banshee, Ink Sweat and Tears, and others. Manchester / Amsterdam. Twitter@lydiowanie

The Interview

1. When and why did you start writing poetry?

I think I was always trying to. I would spend time anagramming, writing ‘lyrics’ to songs, reading, copying down sentences I liked, playing any kind of board game with words in it, watching improv comedy. Since I was a young adult, I was always more interested in the book at sentence level than the narrative as a whole. I liked novels full of tangents, and I was (still am) a big fan of underlining parts. I suppose I just didn’t know what poetry was properly, beyond the very traditional, or what it could be until much later. I think I was writing poetry on my art degree, although even at such a late stage, I still didn’t really know it was poetry. I knew I liked poetic language, poetic prose, form as concept, but actual Poetry, I think I still thought of that as quite an old, dead thing. I wasn’t around other writers in my real life, and the writers I was reading (prose writers or visual artists), when they did reference poetry, likely only confirmed that ‘old, dead’ belief. When I was 14 or so I found The Desiderata as the epigram in a series of Dean Koontz novels: I liked that. I printed it out and put it on my wall. Learnt the word ‘perennial’ from that piece.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

I drifted towards it via visual art. Though I was writing throughout my art degree in sorts, but it was probably another ten years before I realised that the writing was the crux of the matter and before I found a path in to actually reading poetry proper. My prose reading habits were getting poemier and poemier. Years passed. Then I moved to Poland and wrote to someone whose blog I found funny (Socrates Adams) and he sent me his novel-in-progress in increments. It was the first time I’d had dialogue with another writer and I started writing again there, in my chilly attic bedroom, properly, long after the visual distractions had fallen away. I was writing poetic-prose or experimental prose or something: I had a few pieces published and a novel shortlisted, then it fell away again, and again. It was always there, but I was always waiting until later, trying to accumulate knowledge (not realising how much of that knowledge was ephemeral and slips away completely unless you do something with it in the moment – which is one thing I love about writing poetry now, just slapping the fleeting, contorted-to-fit, down on a page). Anyway, after some more years passed, and I was writing on and off (by now some actual poems, although I still wasn’t reading any), I was given a sum of money that allowed me to do a Masters degree in Creative Writing, and I knew I was at risk of losing much more time unless someone ‘in the know’ actually verified me, so I did it, and they (Scott Thurston) did, and what I wrote at the end of that year became my first published collection of prose poetry. It was a ten-year voyage from the land of art to poetry on a small lump of driftwood with an intermittent internet connection and a changeable breeze.

2.1. What do you mean by “My prose reading habits were getting poemier and poemier”?

I was reading for the language, not the plot.

2.2. Why did the language become more important?

I think it always was, it just takes a while for a chain of reading to lead you to certain places. I was always looking for sentences I liked. And I guess the more I read, the more I grew tired of some of the rest: the same shapes of novels, certain cliches, techniques, wrapping-up of narratives, representations of women, predictable metaphors. It takes more to be surprised, I suppose. Or a different way of viewing something to find what is, or can be, surprising about it.

3. How aware are and were you of the dominating presence of older writers traditional and contemporary?

I think I’m more aware of the what-seems-like-class of a lot of writers than the age. I don’t mind people being older per se, they might have worked for it.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

As much as possible in any possible sliver of a gap! I often pinch lines overheard from my environment as a starting clay, or some image from something I’m reading, whether that be a book or simply a strangely worded sign, so I try and store all these fragments until I have a fifteen-minute or more gap, and then I write. I do my longer bouts of refining and building and editing in the evenings at least a few times a week, preferably when everyone else is asleep.

5. What motivates you to write?

A desire to communicate everything that is interior and, by the very nature of its interiority, alone. It’s a reaching toward. And it’s the same thing that motivates my reading: knowing the strangenesses and possibilities of ‘the other’. That, and the ability to sculpt a piece of language-music from the environment you find yourself in, whether that be internally /externally /in real time /via memory.

6. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

They altered my outlook on life and have given me the foundations for my ongoing philosophy. It’s unshakable really. I think of Kafka and Beckett in particular, and I do still look for that melodrama and highfalutin despair everywhere in art, and when I find it, that very specific kind of comedy, then I do feel so terribly comforted. I’m reading The Milkman by Anna Burns in between questions here, and she’s also doing it in a way – it’s very funny, but serious-funny, bleak-funny. Like Catch 22 or Stewart Lee, just make the joke (or, following the same rule, take the emotion) and keep making it. I like that. The joy of repetition.

And I guess the writers you read at a certain age sort of raise you. So it’s good to stay fond of them. Helps you understand yourself.

7. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

Anyone writing in a void, without a support system, or in scraps of stolen time, who manages to tread water long enough to burst through the surface. Anyone who doesn’t give up.

8. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

Write. Write without thinking. Write until your body hurts. Change position. Do it again. Keep writing until you end up some place that surprises you. Edit.

9. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

I’m working on a full collection, which seems to be spilling over into two collections. I have a pamphlet I’m trying to make ready, based on a bunch of poems I wrote as part of the Tupelo Press 30/30 project back in June. And I am nearly finished preparing another pamphlet (‘I Have Not Led a Serious Life’) that will be coming out with above / ground press later in the year. I’m mainly trying to keep momentum up around work and child-raising and physical exercise; it’s easy enough to write a poem, but harder to see which ones belong where without spreading out a hundred pieces of paper on the floor of a large empty room. I am grateful for my writing friends and our ad-hoc collaborative editing relays.

Thank you for these questions, Paul. It’s been a pleasure!

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Lydia Unsworth Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

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