#i can already feel the crush developing and i'm like please god no dont do this to me again

[honeynviscera]

it’s been a handful of days since i’ve last exhibited signs of insanity so i’m overdue. unrelated there’s this cute nonbinary person that works at the weed shop on the corner next to my buddy’s house and they’re sooo cute and little but tall and pretty and they have the sweetest brown eyes and they have cute crooked teeth and i want to do their makeup but um while straddling them and also bite them on their face :/ 

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4571

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: ALART ALART ARLART AL*ERT AL*ART!!!!!

TG: hugely important cornespondence

TG: paging doctor crocker

TG: rolal to docrock

GG: :?

TG: heh heh

TG: paging

TG: bet you would like to get PAGED huh jane

TG: *sweet innuendo

GG: I'm not sure that qualifies as innuendo at all.

TG: wonkwonkwonkwonkwonk

GG: I honestly think you misspell things intentionally more often than not, regardless of blood alcohol content.

GG: You just typed wonk five times in a row!

TG: i have only junst begun to wonk

GG: What is this urgent thing about, anyway?

GG: Is it about your boobytrap?

GG: Because you're too late. It already blew up my whole bedroom, thank you very much.

TG: no no

TG: i mean i still feel shitty about that but its not abiout that

TG: i know you already ran it i been talking to the shades

GG: Yes, me too. Right now in fact, and I'm in a bit of a hurry!

GG: What is this about? What are you even doing?

TG: im in the lab doing a thing with my cat

TG: but that doesnt matter i was doing some thingkin and was still feeling guilty about fuckin up ur computer and all of the sudden im in bff~ath mode here

TG: so i gotta tell you something u need to know before its too late

GG: Before what's too late?

TG: you and jake hookin up stupid!

GG: Oh my god.

TG: this is about turnin all your steamydreamz in to STEAMAY REALTITIES

TG: ***realities lolo

GG: This isn't happening now...

TG: whereins jc + je kiss & hug loads and start turnin out big heaps of wrigglers the old fashioned way<3<3,3,3<338O!!!!

TG: i cant decide whether this mental image porcolating here is hot as shit or cute as fuck......

GG: No! Cease your lascivious porcolating at once!

GG: Roxy, I can see you're set on just wasting more of my time.

GG: I understand if you don't wish to play this game, but please try not to interfere with those of us who do!

TG: no no im fine with playing just shut up

TG: this is serious you need to tell him how u feel VERY SOON

TG: or you might miss your chance

GG: My chance?

GG: What are you talking about?

TG: i found out today taht dirks gonna make a move

GG: A move? You mean, a romantic one?

TG: yes

GG: On you?

TG: omfffgggggg

TG: JANE GET A CLUE

GG: Um.

GG: On me?

TG: no

TG: no my dear sweet janey not on you

TG: ON JAKE!!!

GG: Oh.

GG: Ohhh.

GG: I didn't think...

GG: That...

GG: Hrm.

GG: Are you sure?

TG: p sure ask glasses if u want

GG: Well then.

GG: This is quite a development.

GG: Poor Dirk!

TG: what do you mean

GG: Well, surely when he reveals his feelings, Jake will...

TG: ??

GG: I mean...

GG: He couldn't possibly...

TG: wut

TG: repriprocate?

GG: Yes?

TG: why not

GG: Because Jake is not a homosexual!

TG: mm hm

TG: are u suuuuuure???

GG: Are you saying he is?

TG: nope

GG: Then what are you saying?

TG: im saying that

TG: i dont fuckin know

GG: But...

GG: I thought it reasonable to presume he takes a shining to ladies.

GG: He does speak fondly of certain females from his favorite films, does he not?

TG: true that

TG: but

TG: how much does that really mean here jane

TG: can you be totes sure on account a some dorky moive crushes

GG: Well, now I just don't know. You have me completely bamboozled about this.

GG: What do you think?

TG: all im saying is

TG: my gaydar is like the exanct fuckin poposite of urs

TG: which is to say it is better than completety nonexistant

TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters

TG: turns out

TG: all of those monsters are SO gay

TG: truth B)

GG: Okay. Then what does your acute seabeast scanner make of Jake, then?

TG: thats what im sayin

TG: i really have no idea

TG: kid is a goggamn egnigma

TG: hes as hard 2 read as fine print

TG: and how i do mean FIIINE ;)

GG: Oh brother.

GG: Then, your guess is as good as mine?

GG: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to conclude from this.

TG: youre supposed to concluce

TG: that you SAID you were going to believe anything i said today remember??

GG: Yes.

GG: But you just said you don't know!!!

TG: exactly

TG: therefore you must believe me when i say

TG: if dirk lets on all his feelins there is at least a CHANCE jake will go like DERP OK DUDE LETS MAKE OUT

TG: and that means poor jane is screwed without ever even throwing her filthy old fedora in the ring

TG: it is a ring i lke ot call TEH ENGLISH SPEEPSTAKES

TG: and if u dont youll regret it

TG: and i mean

TG: OFFICIALLY?

TG: i cant have a horse in the race

TG: wait bad metaphor ebcause of dirk and his fucking horstes n/m

TG: like you are both my friends and im not out to mess him up or anything

TG: but i kinda owe it to you as my friend to let you know whats up

TG: and also to get you to stop being such a WORLD CHAMPIAN TIGHTASS

TG: and let jake know

GG: Oh, not this tightass baloney again.

TG: jane

GG: What?

TG: jaane..

GG: ...

TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass

GG: No way!

GG: We settled this, remember?

GG: My prior resolution made it definitive; I was to be regarded as exceedingly permissive in certain respects!

TG: jane i am afraid

TG: that ur bottom

TG: is a stubborn clam

TG: guarding priceless treasure

TG: and a deadly secret

GG: So ridiculous. >:P

TG: im not saying be an idiot and start gushing at him incoherentry

TG: but do SOMETHING

TG: say how u feel

TG: or flirst a bit or ask him out on a date inside the fuckin game or such

TG: goddamn ANYTHING other that a bunch of bullshitty pining and tightassy NOTHING

TG: you have to do what i say u promised

GG: I promised to BELIEVE what you say, not DO it!

TG: those 2 things are

TG: prespicely the same shit

GG: If I agree to say something, will you stop tormenting me about it??

TG: yes

TG: but only

TG: because that will be impossible for me to do

TG: when u + him r snoggin hard in motherfuckin makeout paradise

TG: A K A SEX LAND

GG: Fine.

GG: But let the record show that this resolution has almost nothing whatsoever to do with your use of the phrase "SEX LAND."

GG: Just...

GG: I need to think of what to say, and wait for the right moment. Is that ok???

TG: sure

TG: just dont wait too long

TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles

TG: nor jakes...

TG: lets say

TG: open mindedness???????

GG: Well,

GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.

TG: yuuup................

GG: Omg.

GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?

TG: ur finally gettin it

TG: now go

TG: and jane im warning u

TG: if you dont say somethin to him

TG: i am personally entering the game specivically to FUCK UR SHIT UP

TG: *LOLLIES OUTIE*

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

[saikos-pleb]

2A 1B 6C cause I'm a sucker for the sweet fluff 🥺💕

writing prompts

2A: “you’re such an idiot”

1B: fluff

6C: friends to dating

[notes] this is for saiki (the person didn’t include that but i dmed them). so make sure to try and remember that lmfao

————————

you and kusuo have been friends for a little over 2 years. you were always a more extroverted sweet person while kusuo was an introverted ‘cold hearted’ (words from his dad) asshole.

complete opposites, but somehow you’re the only person kusuo can stand for long periods of time.

shun, riki, aren, kokomi etc bother him. but you never have. no matter how many times kusuo has tried to be annoyed by you he just can’t find any reason for it.

which annoys him so much, so much.

like everyone else on this earth bugs him, ffs even his own parents annoy the living shit out of him. so why don’t you?

you, him and the rest of the ‘friend’ group were hanging out at a ramen place.

“RIKI GIVE ME BACK MY RAMEN YOU WHORE” you scream as riki grabs your ramen and extends his arm the whole way up.

“i’m going to kill you i swear to god” you say, about to grab a fork. no one has seen you this mad since shun stole a few fries from you a few weeks ago: in conclusion dont fuck with your food.

“[name] calm down please don’t hurt nendo” kokomis soft voice says, gently rubbing your shoulder. “absolutely fucking not, i want my ramen b-“ crash

you look over to where the noise was coming from and riki was on the ground but your ramen was safe on the table.

“oh thank god!” you skip over to grab your ramen and then lean down and smack rikis head “don’t mess with my food again asshole”

you sit back down next to kusuo and you smile at him before finishing up your ramen.

after everyone was done it was time to go your separate ways. you and kusuo live right next to each other so you guys walk home together.

this is a normal thing but recently you’ve actually been avoiding walking home with him. you started to develop a teeeeny weeeeeny crush on him.

who am i kidding? you’re like in love with him. and you have been for awhile but you recently haven’t been able to control your feelings.

and kokomi likes him and you’re pretty sure he likes her back so you don’t wanna get in the way.

your thoughts are flooding by thoughts, doubt and all around kusuo. it’s never ending and it needs to stop.

you stop walking and kusuo turns around, and looks at you confused.

“listen.. kusuo, this is really hard for me to say but-“ “but what?” “let me finish”

you take a deep breath. “i.. like you a lot but i know you and kokomi like each other and i don’t wanna get in the way of it so i’m going to stop hanging out with you i’m-“ “you’re such an idiot”

you look at him with a weird expression “w-what do you mean i’m an idiot?” he sighs, “i don’t like kokomi.”

red covers your entire face. “w-well” you’re lost of words

kusuo starts walking away from you. you wanna go run after him but you’re already too embarrassed.

“oh and [name], i like you too”

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????