#i cant get darth vader/anakin screaming his name

[swan-orpheus]

Cause of death: the Obi-Wan finale. 

This shot is so gorgeous. The rocks, the moon, their sabers in the gloom. This is so Romantic, this obsession of theirs in a gothic romance, it’s poetic rather than strictly sexual sort of a way. The genre of Romance in the old sense, atmospheric and melancholy and a bit extra. 

I’m thinking of all those folks who were speculating that there would not be another confrontation after Ep 5 and just laughing my ass off. I knew there would be something big, but I was wondering how they were going to top the pure serotonin of the Prequels flashbacks. Well. 

They really went this hard. They really really did. The pain and the tragedy of it. 11/10  I will never be over this. 🖤🖤🖤

[merrysithmas]

cant get over how PERFECT that killingblow was to Vader. "then my friend is truly dead... goodbye, Darth."

obiwan is a mf General of War. he didnt strike him down physically but he obliterated Vader into tiny, shattered pieces with that one perfectly crafted line. engineered. precise. piercing.

you wanna go that way? say goodbye to me forever.

unwinding, unspooling Vader like a surgical thread, leaving him there wheezing, gasping, dying.

alone.

alone.

alone.

screaming his name. frantic. pathetic. pieces.

that's obiwan turning his back on Darth, obiwan daring anakin to come home.

that is how obiwan says i love you this time.

to his anakin, and himself.

[monamourbladie-mb]

Redemption - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

“If you’re up for ideas, I have one for Anakin Skywalker! The reader is under his training and they end up gaining feelings for each other. When Anakin is slowly turning to the dark side, he begins having nightmares about the future. His last dream was about the reader in TROS. In the dream, he saw that Palpatine returns and tries to lure her into the dark side. He had the same vision as Rey did when she saw herself joining the dark side, only this time, it was the reader instead of Rey. He wakes up after she says, “Don’t be afraid of who you really are.” That’s what stops him from going to the dark side.” REQ: @originalposter96

Warnings: Slight angst

Words: 2k

Extra info: The majority of this takes place in third person POV but in Anakin’s dream. On occasion it’ll be confusing cause there’s two Anakins.. one in the dream and the one dreaming it. But just keep in mind that anything italicized is the dream, and anything not is real life. italicized bold are Ani’s thoughts. I added onto the idea to include more of Ani’s downfall, so I hope it’s what you had in mind!

~*~

The Clone Wars were dark times. Death and destruction across the entire galaxy - murder and mayhem in every corner. The Jedi were doing all they could to stop the Separatists and Count Dooku, but they could only do so much.

It seemed that, almost every battle, they would lose another Jedi Master. Of course, this was painful to say goodbye to a friend and fellow Jedi, but it hurt nobody more than it hurt Y/n L/n.

Young Y/n had been trained since she was 7 years old. She was a young orphan - and her parents were criminals. To say that the Jedi saved her life was to say the least.

Her first Master, Master Yindos, was the one who originally found her. She brought her to the Jedi Temple where the Masters agreed to start her training, since the Force was so strong with her.

Sadly, when Y/n was 14 Master Yindos was killed by Dooku during the battle to rescue Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi Wan Kenobi. She had to be reassigned to a new Jedi Master, Master Ornell, whom trained her until she was 17. He sadly was killed as well during the beginning Clone Wars.

Y/n felt cursed. Each of the Masters she had both met the same fate - Masters Yindos and Ornell had both died. She begged and pleaded for Master Yoda to not give her a new Master, and to let her train to join the Jedi Service Corps. Instead, he assigned her a new Master - Master Skywalker.

Although Anakin was very adamant to accept a Padawan, he eventually warmed up to her quickly and the two became inseparable. Of course, the two of them being only a few years apart in age did complicate things a bit - because both of them thought the other was very attractive.

It wasn’t until the first time Anakin saved her from dying that they realized their feelings for each other. They tried to hide them - but eventually gave up and decided to date in secret instead.

And now, for almost a year, everything was perfect. Y/n felt that the curse had been lifted and she would finally become a Jedi Knight with Anakin as her Master.

Everything had continued to stay perfect - until Anakin’s infamous nightmares started to come back, and he started to become suspiciously close with Chancellor Palpatine.

He’d lay awake at night for hours after one, trying to figure out what they meant. After his mother’s death, any dream he had he took very literal. He wasn’t going to risk any more lives if something happened in his dreams anymore.

One night, Anakin thought he was having what seemed like a peaceful dream. But it felt different. It felt... foreign. And he wasn’t sure why.

“The wayfinder has got to be here somewhere...” a foreign voice said. “I know. I just don’t know where it could be,” Y/n replied to her. Anakin turned around and saw Y/n standing with a young girl who he did not know the name of. She wore what was reminiscent of a Jedi’s clothing, so he assumed it was a Jedi.

“I think I found something,” Anakin spoke, turning back around to a hallway from the strange ruins he was at. “I’ll go down with you, Anakin. I think the command center is down that way...” the girl spoke, nodding for Anakin to come with her.

“Keep him safe, Rey,” Y/n nudged “Rey” and she laughed lightly. “Don’t worry...” she pulled out her lightsaber and Anakin’s eyes widened.

She had his lightsaber. He touched his lightsaber hilt and picked it up, realizing it was the same as his. How could she have his lightsaber?

“He’s safe with me,” she smiled and attached it back to her hip. “C’mon.”

Anakin turned to Y/n, “Are you going to be alright angel?” he asked her, afraid to leave her. She nodded, giving him a thumbs up, “I’m fine! It’s just the ruins of the Death Star, Anakin. Everyone who worked here is long dead.”

Anakin nodded and reluctantly followed Rey.

Y/n hummed to herself softly as she looked around the dark, cold ruins when she passed by a triangular object. She gasped lowly and walked forward, grabbing it from it’s invisible hold and moved it between her fingers. She grinned, about ready to shout to Rey and Anakin when she heard a lightsaber ignite. She turned around and froze still in place, barely able to believe what she saw in front of her.

She saw herself - wrapped in a black cloak wielding a dual-edged lightsaber, smirking. She twirled the lightsaber between her fingers before speaking simply, “Y/n... don’t be afraid of who you are.”

She dropped the Wayfinder and instantly brought out her lightsaber as the dark version of herself swung to attack, blocking it. The two started dueling with each other, blocking over and over until finally Dark Y/n pins the other version of her against a wall, holding the saber threateningly close to her throat.

She struggled against her grasp as a she heard the labored machine-like breathing of a dark, looking figure. He stayed hidden in the shadows behind Dark Y/n and crossed his arms, “Good job, my sweet apprentice,” he spoke lowly. “We shall take her to the Emperor.”

“Think she knows who you are yet?” Dark Y/n smirked. Y/n gulped, what if this was the Sith Lord?

“I would hope so...” he answered, walking into the light. The tall, cloaked man stood beside Dark Rey and the sight of him fully sent chills down her spine. Half of his mask was broken, revealing half of the face of the wearer. “I would hope she would know her own husband.”

Y/n struggled more and Dark Y/n pressed the saber closer to her skin, starting to burn her neck slowly, “A-Anakin-!” she shouted, completely confused as to why her husband looked like that.

“What did you do? What happened to you?!” she choked out, screaming in pain from the burning. Anakin rest his hand on Dark Y/n’s shoulder and she moved the saber away.

“Like I said, Y/n. Don’t be afraid of who you are,” she spoke again.

Instantly, Anakin’s vision began to blur. All around him the Death Star ruins began to disappear and everything became hazy, but the loud mechanical breathing of the Dark Side Anakin blared in his ears.

The sceneries quickly switched and he was on Mustafar, alongside Y/n and Obi Wan.

“I don’t know you anymore. Anakin, you’re breaking my heart!” Y/n started to cry, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow!”

“Because of Obi Wan?” Anakin replied. He was so... angry. Anakin didn’t know why, and it scared him. He hadn’t been this angry since his mother died.

“Because of what you’ve done! What you plan to do! Stop now, and come back! Please! I love you...” her voice was so broken, so worried and scared that it frightened him. What could he have done that caused her this much pain?

The Anakin that’s stood in front of her snapped once he noticed Obi Wan Kenobi from the ship behind them, “LIAR! You’re with him! You brought him here to kill me!”

“No, Anakin-“ she started to say, then she squealed when she was lifted up and started choking. “N-NO!”

Anakin tried to scream but he couldn’t. He was frozen in place watching him choke his lover.

Then, the scenery changed again, and this time he was in a metal room with robots surrounding him. Instead this time he wasn’t a spectator in the dream - he was looking through the eyes of a charred man, laying on an operating table.

Anakin tried to look around but he couldn’t - then suddenly a searing pain ripped through his entire body. He screamed and started to flail around the best he could, but he was strapped down. He was able to look down for a moment and saw his legs had been chopped off - and replaced with metal legs. His arms were both robotic, and his head felt dizzy from all the pain he experienced at once.

He felt it all - every tool drilling through his skin, every piece of charred skin being ripped off. He felt everything.

Even after that tormenting, it did not prepare him for what came next. He looked up and saw a black mask get lowered down onto him. He tried to move but he was immobile, and the mask drew closer to him.

It covered his face and before it could lock he mustered all his strength to scream out, “Y/N HELP ME!”

But it was too late. The mask sealed, and the same horrifying mechanical breathing from earlier emitted from the mask. Anakin had just become Darth Vader.

Then, as quickly as he arrived, the world around him began to disappear again. Everything grew hazy.

Anakin tossed and he turned until suddenly, “NO!” Anakin screamed, sitting up and breathing heavily. “T-that can’t be true...” he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, “i-it cant be...”

Y/n ran back into their bedroom, fixing her robe when she saw his panicked face. “Ani? Sweetheart, what’s wrong? I heard you screaming...” she walked over and sat beside him, resting her hand on his thigh gently.

He sighed heavily and pulled her into a tight hug, fighting back tears, “I know what I have to do now.” he moved away and cupped her face with his hands, stroking her cheek gently as he looked at her with a worried expression, “I know you know I’ve been different. And I’m ready to talk about why.”

“Anakin, you’re scaring me...” Y/n frowned, holding onto his hand, “Whats going on?”

“I... started to be tempted. To fall into the Dark Side,” Anakin looked down, barely able to look her in the eyes now. “Because I wanted the power to save you from dying. Chancellor Palpatine had promised me that he would teach me that power, and he revealed himself to me as being the Sith Lord. It was him the entire time...” he sighed.

“Oh my God...” Y/n was stunned, “What are we going to do? He has total power over the Senate!”

“We’ll worry about that later, my angel. What’s important right now is the fact that I was almost fully seduced to the dark side, blinded by his lies... and the dream I just had made me realize that.”

“What happened in the dream?” she scanned his blue eyes, and noticed how scared and worn out he looked.

“You and I were looking for something called a Wayfinder. We had to go to a ruined spaceship called the Death Star to find it, and we were accompanied by a young Jedi named Rey. You found the Wayfinder, and you saw an evil version of yourself. She fought you and almost...” he looked down, taking a deep breath, “she almost killed you. And then a man in a black suit came out. He was so cold... so evil,” he winced, “...and he was me.”

“Anakin-“

“Then... I-I choked you. Nearly to death. I think, I think I did kill you, actually,” Anakin gripped the sheets with his metal hand, sighing. “I cant put you through that pain to watch me turn into a monster. I won’t let myself go down that path, and you too.” he held her hands and squeezed them gently, “I love you too much to let both of us go down a dark path.”

“Anakin, I promise none of that would ever happen.” she smiled and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips, “You won’t lose me to the dark side. And you won’t ever turn into a monster, Ani. I promise.”

He nodded and simply held her close to his chest, all the thoughts he had about joining the Chancellor fading away. That dream made him realize how evil the dark side really was - and all his recent dreams made sense now.

Rey was a recurring character throughout them, as were strange people by the names of Luke, Leia, and Kylo Ren. Their stories were affected by Anakin’s choice to become that man, and he was going to make it absolutely certain that he would never, ever turn into that monster.

[samanthasroberts]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

SEE ALSO: Here’s how the ‘Star Wars’ droids could help you survive the holidays

11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/

[adambstingus]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

SEE ALSO: Here’s how the ‘Star Wars’ droids could help you survive the holidays

11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/168171128242

[allofbeercom]

Jar Jar Binks, Watto and more most annoying things in the Star Wars universe

Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

Weve been through a lot together, Star Wars fans, from pod-racing to Kylo Rens lightsaber. We’ve dealt with Liam Neesons luxurious hair and Ewan McGregors luxurious hair and Harrison Fords luxurious hair and Adam Drivers luxurious hair.

While most of the journey has been an exciting trip to a world we wished we lived in, there are some notable pain points hate-inducing enough to make even the most loyal of fans curse George Lucas name. Whoose you thinksa Im talking aboutsa?

SEE ALSO: ‘Rogue One’ director justifies reshoots: ‘Star Wars has to be fantastic’

Below, 13 of the most annoying things about Star Wars.

13. Baby Boba Fett

This one tops a lot of lists of worst Star Wars characters, but it’s only because adult Boba Fett is so universally adored. Maybe its the unexciting revelation that he’s a clone of Jango Fett, the Mandalorian warrior who is also cloned for the aptly named Clone Army, that upsets people, or its that their favorite character is unveiled as a dumb kid who spends most of his scenes glaring and silently brooding. He might as well not have been there and maybe it would have been better that way. The mystery was one of the most alluring aspects of Boba Fett to begin with.

12. Ewoks

This is a touchy one. For the record, I do not have a problem with Ewoks. I also, since ceasing to be a 7-year-old kid, see how they could upset some people. Leia meets an animate teddy bear in the woods who threatens her and then immediately needs her help walking through the woods hes supposedly lived in his whole life. Its a stretch for us to believe that this species would have made it through the evolutionary wringer, let alone take down a legion of the most trained, feared and technologically advanced military in the galaxy.

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11. Luke Skywalkers Maturity Level

When you watch A New Hope as a kid, Luke Skywalker is your hero. When you watch it again as an adult, you realize, Oh, wow, this guy is a kid.

At the storys beginning, Luke Skywalker is 16 and he acts like it, whining about chores and wishing he could instead go to Tosche station to get power converters. The first thing he does upon entering the Millennium Falcon is moan about what a piece of junk it is. He then interrupts the adults to scream, WHATS THAT FLASHING THING?! while trying to press all the blinking buttons on its dashboard like a spoiled toddler. Luckily for us, and the series, Luke grows up.

10. Nute Gunray

Image: starwars.com

The Neimoidian Viceroy of the Trade Federation and Separatist leader is cowardly, dumb and boring, all the while boasting an offensive Asian accent. Gunray is so bafflingly useless and obviously two-faced, the intelligence of all characters who trust him is immediately suspect. We would rejoice when Darth Sidious orders the newly named Darth Vader to do away with the Viceroy and his buds, but honestly we keep forgetting he exists each time he exits the screen.

9. Boss Nass

Gungans are already hard to love. So when their leader rolls in refusing to cooperate with our heroes and spraying saliva like a bad Richard Nixon impression, its especially hard to get on board. Maybe fans would have hated him less if the good Gungan name hadnt already been soured for so many by a certain Mr. Jar Jar of Binks.

8. Padawan Braid

Image: composite, all photos by starwars.com

George Lucas can call them Padawan braids, a symbol of rank in the Jedi training, but we all know what they are: rat-tails. Its tough to associate the single, long, skinny braid with the calm and enlightened Jedi order when so many of us associate it with that kid down the street who tried to steal beer out of peoples garages. Give us a bearded and long-haired Obi Wan, or No-bi Wan, please.

7. Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band

Barf. Barf. Barf. George Lucas claimed he always wished this musical interlude at Jabbas palace in Return of the Jedi could have been an extended sequence, and in 2000, the extreme hubris of the digitally remastered versions gave him his chance. The new CGI iteration of Sy Snootles, lead singer of the Max Rebo band, turned a strange but charming alien into an uncomfortably sexual one. It even threw in some anachronistic backup singers for good measure, along with a loud creature named Joh Yowza screaming in huttese directly into the camera. The tone is completely wrong for the setting, and frankly, its hard to watch. Even more cringe-worthy? The new song theyre singing is called Jedi Rocks. Woof.

6. Young Anakin

You know, maybe the character of Anakin Skywalker was doomed to fail. Maybe nothing could have ever matched our expectations. Darth Vader had been too perfect. He was the baddest baddie we had ever seen, how could his backstory ever have lived up to his future? Or maybe its that George Lucas has seemingly never interacted with a child, so for research, he watched Dennis the Menace and Leave it to Beaver and wrote down a few one-liners before calling it quits so he could spend more time planning Jar Jar Binks hijinks.

The resulting Little Ani is a cloyingly innocent 1950s cartoon character, practically on the verge of saying, Gee Whiz, Mister Qui-Gon! in every scene. Any evidence of his future capacity for deep emotion, any whispers of darkness that might be hidden in his heart, any foreshadowing of the towering villain he is to become is deafeningly absent.

When we saw Voldemorts childhood, we saw the events that led him to mature into an evil mass murderer and it enriched our fear of the villain, making it more confusing, more real. When we saw Darth Vaders childhood, we saw a bunch of lame jokes, a plain personality and pod-racing.

5. Jabba the Hutts Tongue

OH GOD. OH GOD NO. PUT IT BACK. PUT IT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH. I CANT LOOK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN ITS OVER. IM PUKING. IM PUKING RIGHT NOW.

4. Watto

Image: starwars.com

There is nothing to love about Watto. Hes a slave owner. He constantly flies around on flimsy wings that couldnt possibly support his bulbous, lazy body. Hes smarmy, arrogant and unintelligent. Oh, and hes a monstrously racist stereotype. Greedy, slimy, with a large nose and a middle-eastern accent, Watto feels like every false anti-semitic caricature come to life. The Toydarian junk-dealer takes up way too much space in The Phantom Menace, and honestly, his body looks so fragile its a shock that none of his slaves swatted him to finish him off. I know plenty of fans who are up to the job.

3. Cheesy Dialogue

Now that Im with you again, Im in agony. My heart is beating hoping that a kiss will not become a scar. Love wont save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it. Yes. It’s you, Leia.

Groaaaaaan. Look. George Lucas. Its OK. We all need an editor. Use one.

2. Midi-chlorians

The biggest knife in the back to die-hard Star Wars fans? The introduction of midi-chlorians in The Phantom Menace, answering the enormous question that no one was asking: How does the Force work? Qui-Gon tells us that midi-chlorians are little, microscopic life forms, living inside of cells that are the conduit for the Force.

The thing is, we already had an explanation for the Force from Obi Wan in A New Hope. Retroactively adding details about microscopic life forms living in your body doesnt totally fit with Obi Wans explanation, making our image of the Force messier instead of clearer. Midi-chlorians reduce a beautiful cosmic connection to something physical and less cool. Instead of expanding the Force, they narrow it. People have been frozen in carbonite for less heinous crimes.

1. Jar Jar Binks

Image: starwars.com

While many of the above offenders may be worse than the most notorious Gungan, nobody could take home the gold without me receiving a flood of death threats, so here you go! The worst part about Star Wars is Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jars biggest crime is over-exposure. Maybe a measured amount of meesa so dumb dumb moments, executed with surgical precision would have, in fact, been a welcome distraction from an otherwise boring plot. Unfortunately, well never know Jar Jar Binks as anything other than the bumbling moron who pretty much laid out the red carpet for Palpatine to take over the Senate.

Kids loved him. Adults wanted to rip their eyeballs out of their skulls and shove them deep into their eardrums to keep from ever hearing him again. Intended to be lovable, actually unbearable, Jar Jar Binks blows and thats all there is to it.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/04/jar-jar-binks-watto-and-more-most-annoying-things-in-the-star-wars-universe/