#i could and have written a hundred stories of ruben having quiet moments of trying to understand himself and grow

[thisstableground]

Thank you so much for being one of like 3 people on the internet who writes docs with Ruben in them!!! Could you write fluff with Ruben making breakfast?

[This isn’t fluff! I apologise! It was supposed to be but it turned into Ruben in a bittersweet but not unhappy introspection about four months into his recovery, having a nourishing breakfast with a side of slow but steady emotional healing. So, y’know, classic thisstableground content. Warning for PTSD things, implied past suicidal thoughts, and also for some kinda disordered eating talk.]

Also on AO3!

***

Ruben had always been under the impression that near death experiences were supposed to come with new appreciation of the life you almost lost. He had a whole run of them and only came away with a blurred recollection of what now feels like someone else’s rescue: he doesn’t remember having to be sedated for the plane back, or arriving at a Philadelphia hospital that thankfully wasn’t Independence Memorial. He doesn’t remember seeing his family again for the first time in months. The earliest thing he can recall from his return is that Ma was the one who was there to stop him when he tried to tear out his own IV and make a break for it.

“The doctor said you have to stay here for just a little while, sweetheart,” she’d explained, as he begged her to let him leave. “You’ve lost too much weight, and you have a fever. They want to make sure you’re going to be okay before you come back home.”

He remembers thinking, I’m never going to be okay. But they treated him for dehydration, fed him gritty-textured nutrition shakes and hospital food he had no appetite for till he started to put on weight again, put him on antibiotics for the infection from poorly-cared for wounds that had hit him with the fever, and after a few weeks they let him go back to live with his ma.

Near death hasn’t gifted him with a new lease on life so far. At best he’s been having life pushed on him while he passively lets it happen. When he wakes up hours before everyone else, he lies there with the day a vast, black expanse of vacuum and inside himself the same expanse, and wants to go back to sleep forever. Ma is the one who makes him get up, knocks on his locked door in the morning and tells him that she’s made breakfast so he needs to come downstairs and eat before she leaves. She does’t believe him when he says he eats while she’s at work, which is fair. He didn’t at first. Hunger has just been the background noise of consciousness for a long enough time he forgot what it meant.

From those early days he remembers her trying to grasp his thin wrist gently in one hand, and how she looked when he shied away from her touch, and her voice tearfully saying, “look at yourself, cariño, there’s almost nothing left of you”.  He remembers thinking, good. If there’s nothing left of him then there’s nothing anyone can take from him. If he’s nothing but hollow no matter what, then what could hungry even mean any more?

But he’d eat, only because it was easier than lying to Ma about it, and because it was easier than making her cry again. And life pushed on him pushes him to live: he goes to therapy. He exists. He wakes up in the morning, every morning, even though there’s nothing to wake up to when the trial in April is over, the now what of May and June.

In July he wakes up, and thinks about lying here all day, and thinks about the gnawing feeling of unfilled space echoing around his body, and thinks, I want arroz con leche.

What? Jesus. When was the last time he wanted anything?

Breakfast sounds…good, though. Good enough that it seems too long to wait for Ma to get up in an hour. Even though he’s got nothing but time it’s somehow a lot harder to let the minutes slip by when there’s actually something he could do about what he wants, so after fidgeting around restlessly for a while he gives into it and unlocks his door. Crouches at the top of the stairs to peek through the railings into the living room below, like he used to in their first house in Philadelphia when he was eavesdropping on Ma having whispered disagreements with his father about Ruben when they thought that he was sleeping.

Nobody in the living room, or in the dining room when he tiptoes down there. He leans around the doorway of the kitchen, nobody in there. Ground floor cleared for safety he can relax some, putting the rice and cinnamon sticks on to boil and opening a can of condensed milk to add later. As he’s taking a bowl out of the cupboard, he realises that when he woke up feeling empty his first thought was that’s probably because I’m hungry not that’s because I wish I was dead. He drops the bowl on the counter in shock: it clatters loudly but doesn’t break.

“Shit!” he curses, gripping the edge of the bowl tightly and trying not to let the sound fling him into fight-or-flight, and then repeats “shit,” when he hears the sound of a door opening on the floor above and then footsteps down the stairs. Ma’s room is above the kitchen. She must have heard him.

“It’s only me, Ma,” he calls softly.

“Rubén?” She comes to the kitchen. “¿Estás bien?”

“Sí, just dropped a bowl.”

“You’re up very early,” she says. Ruben’s pretty sure she means, you’re up at all?

“I’m making arroz con leche. You can go back to bed, it’s okay.”

“Do you need any help?”

“I got it.” Don’t be irritated. It’s a reasonable question. Still, he’s glad that she leaves the room instead of watching him, though he pauses to hear her footsteps and can tell she hasn’t gone back upstairs. She’s probably listening out for him from the living room. Don’t be irritated at that, either.

The rice simmers gently releasing cinnamon-scented steam and Ruben dips a finger into the can of condensed milk to taste it while he waits. Arroz con leche reminds him of sick days off school: insisting he needed to go in to stay on top of his work, but secretly relieved when Ma refused because it meant being able to stay in the quiet, just him and the one person he could always rely on, the way he’d always preferred things to be. She’d cook the rice while he went upstairs to bring his quilt and a pillow down to the sofa and then when he was tucked in comfortably she’d bring him a bowlful, that comforting mixture of warm and spiced and sweet but still bland enough to be easy to eat when he had no appetite. He’d feed spoonfuls from his own bowl to Paola and Mercedes when they were babies too, his way of letting them know sick days used to be for just me and Mamá, but it’s okay that you’re here now too.

When it’s ready he dishes out two bowls, puts raisins on Ma’s but not his own. Makes two coffees, both black with cinnamon, and takes one bowl and one mug on a tray into the living room. Ma is sitting on the sofa in her bathrobe, absent-mindedly pencilling answers into the newspaper crossword.

“Desayuno,” he says, putting the tray down on the coffee table.

“Oh, gracias,” she says, putting a hand over her heart. “What a nice surprise.”

It shouldn’t be a surprise for him to do something so simple as this for her, he thinks. He stands for a minute watching as she sets her newspaper down and picks up the tray. When he was growing up she always used to watch the news in the morning but they don’t do that any more after half the local news was him for so long. Ruben might be old news now but they still don’t watch it: there’s enough sadness in their lives without having to learn the sadness of the rest of the world too. What does she do to fill the time before work instead? Does she do the crossword every day? Does she sit in the stillness of the early hours listening out for him and the girls, trying to anticipate what kind of morning they might have? Psyching herself up to pull him out of his room to come eat, dreading how difficult he’ll make it for her today, and all while she’s got her actual job to go to afterwards. Does she think about him staying home from school when he was little too, and wonder like he does if he’ll be here in a second childhood forever, long after the girls grow up, just Ruben and her and long, quiet, empty days?

She didn’t sign up for this. She must think it, but she never says it to his face, never lets it show. He leans in to give her a tentative kiss on the cheek, and says, “I love you, Mamá.” It comes out a little pitiful.

“I love you too, cariño,” she says, patting his wrist. “Don’t forget to eat your own breakfast, now.”

In the kitchen, he covers the rest of the rice over so that the girls can have it when they wake up, and contemplates going to eat next to Ma on the couch or maybe the dining room, but instead end up sitting on the kitchen counter by the window because that’s the best spot at this time of day. The sun’s just coming up, spilling in clear and luminant across the windowsill. He’s always said Ma has a perfect spot to grow herbs there, but she’s never got round to doing it. Maybe he’ll do it for her one day, when he’s more certain of his ability to take care of something consistently. Maybe one day he’ll even have a place of his own again, a nice bright little kitchen full of herbs, drinking coffee and—no, that’s too much to think about for now. For now, he’s having breakfast on the counter in the growing sunlight by the window in his mother’s kitchen, and that has to be enough. Alive enough to remember that he can do nice things for other people, alive enough to remind his family that he loves them. He remembered how to feel that, if nothing else. He remembered how to make arroz con leche like Ma used to and that cinnamon and sweet and warm are all things that he can still feel good about. He isn’t ready to be happy that he’s alive yet. But at this particular moment, he’s glad he isn’t dead. That will have to be enough.

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Stomachache

Author’s note: This is one of my favorite chapters I have written in a while, especially because it is very deep-layered. It shows that even after all the years, Oliver and Felicity still make mistakes. Also, the life they lead doesn't go by without affecting their kids.

That being said, there are some details in here that will continue on through the rest of the chapters up until the very end of this Family AU.

Enjoy!

Chewing on the end of her pen, Felicity ogled Oliver from her spot behind the computers. She couldn’t help but feel perfectly turned on by the view he offered in his Green Arrow suit. The tight leather accentuated all the right parts of his body which was every part to be honest. It showed how broad his chest was, his tight the muscles in his shoulders and arms were. It made his legs look even more muscular and it did kind of show how well-stocked he was.

In addition to all of that and most importantly, it just screamed with everything it was that he was a hero. What was not to love about that?

“Do we have to expect anything extraordinary?”

At Tommy’s questions, Oliver shot a brief glance towards Felicity. Only when she shook her head, he answered, “No, I don’t think so. Everything should be quiet today. It’s just the usual patrolling to make sure it stays that way and to keep the usual criminals on the tips of their toes. I suggest that you keep an eye on the Northwest of the city. Laurel, you cover the south. I take the Glades and everything northern from it, so-”

Before he could finish his sentence, the alarm of Felicity’s computers interrupted him. Turning in her chair, Felicity hurried to call up all the information she needed.

“Someone broke into InnoTech.”

“InnoTech?”

“A startup that has just now bought a small building in North District,” Felicity explained, and she didn’t even have to call up information on that because she knew their CEO, and it hadn’t been that long ago that she had met him the last time. “Their CEO, Ruben Midas, is a bioengineer. He applied at Queen Inc, but I didn’t have a job for him. Only a couple of months later, he built his own company. He is working on developing high-functioning, lifelike robots. They are supposed to be as real as possible, going as far as having their own personality. The last time I read about the project, they have just discovered to use something close to real skin on those robots. That way, they even feel like human beings.”

“Really?” Tommy asked. “Science Fiction is really becoming real now?”

Felicity shot him a brief glance over his shoulder. “Science Fiction invented mobile phones before they became real. The same applies for helicopters or even tasers. They appeared in science fiction literature before they became real.”

Tommy puckered his lips, and Felicity could almost see the cogs working in his head as he considered asking her if this was true. Although he was relatively new to the Arrow family, at least compared to the other team members, he seemed to know by now that it was never a good idea to ask Felicity if she was real. She always knew what she was saying because she was incredibly smart and had the whole online world to gather knowledge from.

“These robots they are developing,” Felicity directed the conversation back to the subject, “are supposed to serve us housemaids in the near future, but the ultimate destination is to design them, so they can replace people in every area of life. If that happens, they will be able to take on every job we know of so far and make decisions based on the criteria they are programmed to. They won’t necessarily know much leeway, but-“

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, unsure what else to say about this. She couldn’t say that she herself supported this direction of technology. If it was up to her, technology was there to serve people. It shouldn’t replace them, and it shouldn’t be able to develop any kind of personality that would eventually progress to have a life on its own. Technology like that was way too dangerous to call into life.

“Gross,” Laurel agreed with Felicity’s thoughts, crossing her arms in front of her chest and stepping behind Felicity’s chair to look at the monitors of the computers. “What else do we know about the burglary?”

“Three guys broke in. They are still there,” Felicity explained. “According to the footage of the security cameras, they are trying to steal the current robots. They are trying to program them from the lab, I guess. I am watching the real-time protocol of their work. Those are not amateurs working on that. They do know what they are doing.”

“We should go there,” Oliver said firmly. “Now.”

Quickly, Felicity grabbed her tablet, got up from the chair and already headed towards the back of the bunker where their black van was parked. “I am coming with you.”

“Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.”

Before Felicity could walk past Oliver, he wrapped an arm around her stomach and held her back from continuing her way towards the van, making Felicity bite down on her tongue. She had hoped that she could spare herself to discuss this decision with Oliver first. She knew too well that he didn’t like her to be anywhere near any real danger. Apparently, she had been wrong though.

She saw Laurel nodding towards the van, giving Tommy a firm sign to leave the two alone. Their steps echoed against the naked concrete walls of their hideout as they distanced themselves from their friends. Felicity waited until those sounds had drowned out before she turned towards Oliver.

“Look, there is a lot of technology involved there, and I am pretty sure that InnoTech does have a really good security that can probably just be hacked if I am anywhere close, so I can find a secret door to get into their net before I find access to their main servers. That is why it’s the best if I join you there.”

To Felicity’s surprise, Oliver didn’t look as opposed to the idea as she thought he would. Usually, he would find a hundred reasons why she shouldn’t join them in the field within three seconds. Even if reason was on her sight, he would find excuses to ask her to stay back.

Putting his hands to his hips, he let that idea go through his head though. He frowned deeply, and Felicity could almost see him jumping over his own shadow to make this work. He nodded his head slowly.

“What about our agreement?” he asked after a moment, cocking his head. “We said we wouldn’t go into the field together anymore. Thea and Roy are still on vacation, and John is accompanying Lyla to some ARGUS-related event. We can’t call in either of them, and I wouldn’t like for Tommy and Laurel to go in there alone since they would be outnumbered. Should I call Barry and ask if he can join us?”

“That’s not going to be necessary because we won’t go into the field together,” Felicity replied firmly, straightening the posture of her body to show that she was firm on her stance in this. She doubted that Laurel and Tommy would have trouble defeating three guys together as Oliver had single-handedly taken out two dozen well-trained fighters more than once already, but she accepted his concerns. “I will wait in the van, while you catch those three guys. I will just try to make sure all doors will open for you and those robots don’t get in your way.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath, and the muscles in his chest tensed. She knew that this decision wasn’t easy on him. She could almost see that he wanted to agree with her decision, but had trouble to do so. After all those years that keeping her safe was his most important goal, it was not easy to deviate from that and try something else.

“Promise me you will stay in the van,” Oliver asked, narrowing his eyes on her slightly. “Whatever happens, you will stay in the van.”

“When there is no immediate danger that I can help with,” Felicity restricted Oliver’s demand because she wanted to be honest with him, “I will stay in the van. I promise.”

She knew that Oliver wanted and probably needed more. He needed her to stay safe no matter what would happen. It was just a promise that she knew she couldn’t give him, not without fearing that she might break it. If Oliver or anyone else on the team was in danger, she couldn’t sit back and just do nothing. She never would.

Oliver sucked in a deep breath, nodding his head once more. His jaws were clenched, telling her that this wasn’t an easy decision for him to make. He probably knew as well as she knew that she couldn’t just sit back and do nothing if any family member was in danger though. After all, they were quite similar to each other, and Oliver wouldn’t be able to sit back in a situation like that either.

“Alright,” he said eventually. Despite everything. “Let’s go.”

→ → → → →

Cowering on some free-floating ceiling beam, Oliver watched the group of criminals heading towards the back exit where Felicity had found their van. Instead of those three guys they had seen on the surveillance footage, there was a group of around fifteen people though. All of them were completely dressed in black, and they moved through the hallways of the building like a shoal of fishes on their way to the warmth.

Well, Oliver wasn’t really sure if fishes wanted to get to where it was warm. He was just thinking about that shoal of fishes in Finding Nemo. That was what this group of criminals looked like.

Oliver exchanged a brief glance with Tommy, who was leaning against a pillar in the gallery and watching the criminals from there. Tommy shrugged his shoulders too, so he guessed that Tommy couldn’t explain the increased number of criminals down there either. Glancing towards the ceiling where Laurel was watching the scene from outside the glass roof, Oliver guessed that they needed the smartest person on this team to tell them what was happening here.

Touching the suit right over his heart to activate the comms, he asked with an almost growling whisper, “Overwatch, what’s going on there?”

He could hear Felicity typing on her keyboard furiously. Oliver had no idea if she was trying to run her facial recognition project on these guys or if she wanted to hack the security cameras in here. He couldn’t say that he exactly cared either.

“Wow!”

Felicity’s exclaim made Oliver frown. “Overwatch?”

“We have really reached the highest level of science fiction now,” Felicity explained, “because they even fooled me which we all know isn’t easy and-“

“Overwatch,” Oliver interrupted her gently, “we need you to focus.”

“Right.” Felicity cleared her throat. “According to the footage of the infrared camera, those are robots. Hence, that have to be the twelve robots InnoTech has designed so far. According to the interview Midas gave last week, those robots have different personalities and were designed for different jobs. They are all supposed to work in small service jobs.”

“They are carrying weapons,” Oliver whispered.

“Maybe that’s supposed to make them look like one of them,” Felicity suggested. “If the police caught them, they could use the robots as a distraction.”

“Do we have to expect the robots to fight us?” Tommy asked. “Three against fifteen is quite the fight, especially given those weapons and the fact that we don’t know how capable those robots are.”

“Maybe my Canary Cry can-“

“No, the risk of components of the robots flying around and hurting you is too high,” Felicity explained. “It might cause explosions or anything like that. We don’t know how many high-functioning things are working together there to make this happen.”

“Do we other options?” Oliver asked.

“You can just ignore them,” Felicity explained. “For those robots to move, every single move hast to be installed by a written code in their software. I doubt that robots designed to do the dishes or work as a concierge have been programmed to shoot weapons. They can carry them, but I highly doubt that they can take an aim or even pull the trigger, and those three criminals aren’t bright enough to write those codes within the few minutes they had had. They didn’t even manage to switch off the security completely.”

“That’s a good point,” Laurel said. “Green Arrow?”

Oliver trusted Felicity more than he trusted anyone, so he agreed with Laurel. “We go down.”

As soon as he had said it, he and Tommy jumped down from their positions. Laurel used her Canary Cry to break the glass of the rooftop and followed right after them. They were so in synch in the field that they didn’t have to talk about it. Automatically, each one of them was taking on one of the criminals, trying to disarm them.

It wasn’t long until Oliver noticed that they had been wrong though. Those robots, despite all the good reasons against it, were pretty good at fighting. Their movements and quick and fluent. Their punches were strong and precise. Whenever Oliver thought that he had found a weak spot, something that made them vulnerable, they were increasing their effort. They seemed to learn their opponents’ tactics and developed a fitting strategy to defend themselves and attack harder.

Oliver knew that Felicity wasn’t wrong when it came to technology. When she said that robots like these needed differentiated orders, Oliver believed her. Apparently, these robots had been developed a lot better than InnoTech had made it out to be. He guessed keeping an innovation like this secret meant that there was something illegal about it. Since this were battle robots much more than service robots, there was probably a lot illegal about this.

“Our guys are escaping,” Felicity told them eventually as Oliver, Tommy and Laurel were too busy keeping the robots in check to have eyes for the guys escaping them right now. “They are heading south.”

“Neither of us can leave here.”

Oliver managed to throw the robot that had tried to attack him with a dagger against the other six robots he had been fighting. He knew that it wouldn’t get him a lot of time, but at least he could take a short breath and think. There had to be some way that they could take these down.

“These guys are heading towards the lab,” Felicity told him just when the robots pulled themselves together and attacked him once more. “If they steal the plans-“

“Overwatch, we have to find a way to get rid of these robots here before we can save the plans,” Oliver told her. “If we manage to fight these off, we will try to save the plans. Any ideas?”

“Try to outsmart them. Those robots are always adapting to your level of fighting. If you pretend not to be that good of a fighter, they will probably phase down their effort, and you should be able to take them out,” Felicity replied hurriedly. “In the meantime, I will stop these guys from taking the plans for these monsters with them.”

Oliver tried to tune down his acts, but it was anything but easy. All those years, he had always given his best because it was a life-or-death situation every time that he was facing a criminal in this suit. He never knew if he was going to make it out of that fight alive and well. Not giving his best was the opposite of everything he believed in.

He trusted Felicity enough to be willing to give it a try if his muscles decided to obey to it anytime soon. To his relief, he could see Tommy and Laurel having the same kind of trouble to just decrease the effort.

“Can you stop the guys from the van?” Oliver asked, figuring that maybe talking to Felicity would allow him to be distracted and make him seem like less of a fighter indeed. “Can you hack the lab and block it or delete the plans from the servers before-“

“No, the lab is secured really well. I don’t get into the servers.”

Finally, Oliver managed to slow down his movements, reacting less quickly to the robots attempts to hurt him. His punches became less hard and less precise. He even missed his target once or twice and let the robots hit him instead.

It took a moment, but he realized that Felicity’s plan was working. The slower he moved, the slower the robots moved. The more punches he failed to land, the more punches the robots missed too. The later he reacted to the robots’ movements, the later they reacted to them too.

Apparently, those robots still had some potential for optimization. It certainly was a good feature that they adapted to the opponent’s training level if they were designed as training dummies. Oliver was almost sure that this wasn’t the real reason they had been designed.

“Okay, I am in now.”

“I knew you could hack those servers,” Oliver said, pride audible in his voice. “Your plan is working by the way. The robots are slowing down. I just need to find a way to take them out now.”

“Good,” Felicity replied. “I didn’t manage to hack those robots though which is why I am inside of InnoTech and on the way to the Labs. I hacked into the electricity network and made sure our three guys get stuck in the elevator. They are currently climbing through the elevator shaft to get to the labs, but I will be faster. Focus on getting rid of the robots and then come to the lab to take down these three.”

“Overwatch, you go back to the van.”

Oliver’s voice was firm from tension. He felt his will to slow down his fighting fading. The fear for Felicity’s life caused every single muscle in his body to tense. There was nothing he wanted more than to get to Felicity, lift her over his shoulder and carry her back to the van where she was safe.

“That’s crap. I am almost there and-“

Felicity stopped abruptly, and Oliver felt his heart going out. His need to be where she was and make sure she got out of this safe was everything he could think about. If something had happened to her-

“Okay, these guys are on the other end of the hallway now, so I gotta shut up to focus on distracting them before they realize I am here,” she whispered, her voice so low that he could barely hear it over the loud noises of the fight he and the rest of the team was involved in. “Just trust me on this please. I know what I am doing.”

With that, Oliver heard the low sounds that told him that Felicity had logged herself out of the comms. His heart tightened in his chest even more.

Felicity had been in the field quite some times over the years. There were times that Oliver could deal better with it than others. Tonight, he hated the idea that Felicity was out in the field because it was against what they had discussed before. It was against their rule, and he couldn’t get rid of these robots easily to go help her either.

Oliver wished Hermione Granger was here to use that spell she had used on Ron at the end of the first movie to make him relax while he was held captive by those vines. Oliver hardly remembered that movie although he had seen it so many times already. Felicity had always been there with him and she had talked Nerdish with one of the kids while they had been watching the movie and that had been so much more interesting to be honest.

Thinking about the danger Felicity could possibly be in right now, Oliver had trouble to relax again. As much as he told himself that it was the key to get to her, he couldn’t do it.

All those times she had been in danger and he had nearly lost her flashed up in front of his eyes. He remembered how Cupid had tried to abduct her the night Felicity had been giving birth to Emmy, and how that crazy lady had planned on cutting Emmy out of Felicity’s body and leaving her there to die. He remembered almost losing her to Foster, her stalker from high school, when he had been working with Cupid to tear them and their family apart. He remembered how she had been attacked in the underground parking of QI when she had been pregnant with Millie.

And Oliver doubted that he would ever forget the call he had received just a couple of weeks ago when Felicity had been attacked in Gotham City. She had been at the other end of the US, far away from where he could protect her. She had almost ended up with a bullet in his head, and he wouldn’t have been there.

Oliver knew that nothing would have changed if he had been there with Felicity. The meta-human, who had attacked her, had wanted to make her suffer to make her half-brother suffer.

Oliver had talked about all of this with Dr. Rosario. He had told her how he had felt when Bruce had called him to tell him what had happened and all the time it had taken to go to Gotham. They had also talked about the unsafe feeling that had taken over when he had watched the video of the attack.

Finally, Oliver managed to calm down enough to slow down his fighting once more. It didn’t take long for the robots to adapt to what he was offering. As soon as their fighting was slowed down enough, he urged them into a corner of the hallway. Within less than three seconds, he took them out one by one then. They ended up with an arrow shot into the center of their hardware, right where the human heart would be.

“Black Bow, Black Canary,” he said and shot a brief glance in their directions. “I am heading out to check on Overwatch. Do as she has suggested. It works.”

Although Laurel and Tommy were still having trouble fighting these robots, Oliver let their sides. Laurel and Tommy were armed, and they did have quite some training in hand-to-hand combat. Felicity did not have any weapons with her, and Oliver wasn’t even sure she could or would use them if she did. Pulling the trigger of a gun was not something that was easy to come back from after all.

Oliver ran down the hallway towards the stairwell. He shot a grappling arrow to the ceiling and roped down the eight floors to the basement where the high-tech lab was located. Even through the leather gloves he could feel the burning sting in his palms, but he didn’t care. He just continued running.

The sounds of shots being fired made his heartbeat quicken even more. The sounds of blood rushing in his ears almost drowned out the noises of the shots and everything around him. His muscles were aching, telling him that he would have trouble moving tomorrow, but he still put a lot of effort into running even faster. If he didn’t make it in time, he wouldn’t get up ever again. One day without being able to move was nothing compared to that.

As soon as he had turned the corner towards the hallway that turned right towards the lab, bullets were fired at him. His fear for Felicity had made him blind for the dangers that he could run into. He moved back behind the wall, but a bullet hit his shoulder before he managed to do so. He didn’t even care enough to look at the blood that was probably running over his shoulder.

Clenching his teeth, Oliver grabbed an arrow from his quiver and stepped back around the corner. While he was sure that everything went impossibly fast, it felt like he was living through it in slow-motion.

Still turning towards the guy at the end of the hallway, Oliver noticed the two dead bodies behind him. The two had probably decided to run away as the situation was just getting out of hand. This one guy here hadn’t wanted to give up this easily, but he couldn’t have any accessories that could turn him in or blackmail him either.

He was now aiming his machinegun at the glass walls that separated the hallway from the lab. Oliver followed the aim of the machinegun, seeing that Felicity was the target. The same unsettling feeling that had taken hold of him when he had watched the video of a bullet being shot at Felicity and almost ending up in her head washed over him again.

He focused on the aim of his arrow, aiming for the guy’s eye. The break of a second before he shot, he corrected the aim. A second later, the guy was screaming as the arrow ran through his wrist and nailed it to the wall next to him. His gun dropped from his hand, slithering over the marble floor.

As Oliver’s fear disappeared now that the criminal was disarmed and captivated, his anger returned. He felt it forming a tight knot in the pit of his stomach. Once more, Felicity had been close to getting shot. This time, it wouldn’t have been a thoroughly planned attack that neither of them had seen coming. This time, it would have been on Felicity herself as she had just jumped into this danger headfirst to save some stupid plans that they would have certainly been able to find even if they had been stolen. These criminals had proved to be amateurs from the very start after all.

He turned his head to see that Felicity, probably alarmed by the criminal’s screams, was already looking in their direction. He looked at her angrily, unable not to after the fear she had just made him go through. To his surprise, Felicity was looking back at him just as angrily though.

What reason could she possibly have to be mad with him? He hadn’t gone into the field without backout and, with that, gone against the agreement they had had.

→ → → → →

Usually, when Oliver and Felicity returned home, he always did his best to be the perfect gentleman. He unlocked the door and reached into the entry room to switch on the light. Then he stepped back and held the door open for Felicity to go in first. It was the polite attitude his mother had raised him to and allowed him to flash around a quick glance around to make sure that their environment was safe.

Tonight, once he had unlocked the door, Oliver just headed right for the kitchen. He didn’t switch on the light as he didn’t need it anyway. He didn’t hold the door open for Felicity either. He didn’t even make sure that nobody was around to watch them.

Felicity slammed the door shut behind her. Without looking at her, because he simply couldn’t bear to look at her right now, he listened how she locked the front door again and went right upstairs. Her stumping steps told him that she was still angry.

Oliver went to the fridge, got out a bottle of water and drank it in one go. The cold liquid was running down his throat, cooling him from the inside out. It did nothing to calm the rage inside of him though.

They hadn’t said a single word to each other since their conversation on the comms when Felicity had told him that she was already inside of InnoTech. He knew that she had found the plans on the servers and destroyed them, so nobody else would find them as long as there were no copies of them. He only knew that because Felicity had told Laurel and Tommy about it when they had arrived.

While Laurel had offered to wait around until the police had arrived, so she could tell them about what had happened and what InnoTech had been working on these last months, Tommy had driven him and Felicity back to the bunker. Oliver had sewed his bullet wound there and changed back into his normal clothes. Then he and Felicity had left.

There were a thousand things that he wanted to say to her, but he wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. It had been a long time since they had fought the last time. He couldn’t even remember when they had had the last real fight that was about more than what they wanted for dinner or which movie they wanted to watch. His marriage with Felicity was incredibly harmonious, so he had never gotten used to fighting with her. The bare thought of seeing her and feeling the irresistible urge to yell at her made his stomach clench painfully.

After what had almost happened at InnoTech tonight, there were things that just had to be said. If there was one thing that was even more important in his marriage with Felicity than harmony was, it was honesty. Even if he wanted to, he knew he shouldn’t keep what he was thinking and feeling because it wasn’t who he and Felicity were. He needed to say them or he’d choke on them.

Setting the empty bottle aside, Oliver followed Felicity up the stairs. He could hear her walking around in their bedroom its door she had left ajar for him. When he stepped in, he noticed that she had already changed into one of the large shirts she was wearing for sleep. She had taken off her glasses and undone her ponytail. She had also tried to wipe away her make-up, but she had done it so poorly that she looked like he did after taking off his mask when all the grease was still around his eyes. Every other night, he would probably make fun about it.

Felicity went over to the small dresser and took out her ear rings. She only noticed him when he closed the door behind himself. Turning her head back over her shoulder, she glared at him angrily. The sight made him scoff.

“What reason could you possibly have to be mad at me right now?”

“Do you seriously have to ask that?” Felicity asked back, turning around towards him and grabbing the edge of the dresser like she desperately needed something to hold onto right now. “After all these years, you still don’t trust me.”

Her words didn’t sit well with him. Instead of being hurt, he only felt angrier though.

“Oh, no,” Oliver said, his lowered voice sounding more dangerous than any yell could. “You will not make this my fault. You will not make this about the trust issues we both know I had and probably still have because we both know that I trust you more than I ever trusted anyone else. Nothing has or ever will change that.”

It was no exaggeration to say it because it was true. Oliver had trusted Felicity with every single story about the island. She was the only one who knew everything he had been through while he had been there. She was also the only one who knew everything that had happened to him since he had returned. She knew about every single terribly bad choice he had made in the name of his father’s mission.

Oliver knew that he had made a lot of mistakes because he hadn’t trusted people around him and, most importantly, because he hadn’t trusted himself. This was none of those situations though. This was completely different because this wasn’t about trust.

He trusted each of his children because he knew they were wonderful little human-beings and had proved time and time again to be just great. Still, when they went into the pool together, he made sure that they were all okay and he checked that Millie and Addie were wearing their floaties. He also stayed close to hurry to the rescue if something happened. He trusted them to remember the rules they had laid down for pool time, but those rules didn’t protect them from every danger. There was always the possibility of something unexpected happening.

“You went into a building full of criminals and robots that you knew were out of control,” he reminded her with growly voice. “You promised me that you wouldn’t leave the van, but you did and-“

“I promised not to leave the van if there weren’t any immediate dangers, but-“

“That they wanted to steal the plans is no excuse. That was not immediate. We could have still handled it later, but you just jumped into it headfirst although you had no idea what danger you were getting yourself in.”

“I had no idea what danger I was getting myself in?” Felicity asked, her voice jumping at least an octave higher although she was speaking so very quietly. “Maybe you forgot that I am the one who is talking you through these missions. I am the one telling you how many criminals there are. I am the one telling you where it’s safe and where it’s not. I am the one who is opening every door you need to be opened and locks the ones that better stay closed. Don’t you dare downplaying my role in this.”

“I would never downplay your role in our mission.” Oliver took a step towards her. “You are a founding member of our team. John, you and I are the core of this team, the ones it all started with. That doesn’t change the fact that you took an unnecessary risk today, and it could have caused all of us to get severely injured.”

“I didn’t take any unnecessary risk which you’d know if you really trusted me.” The words came out almost like a hiss. “The glass walls in the lab were bullet-proof, something I checked on that to make sure it was true. I had reliable information on this. I knew what I was doing, or did you really think that I was going in there blind?”

For the break of a second, Oliver faltered. He hadn’t known about this although he was sure that he should have known about this. Felicity did know more about the locating they were going into than anyone on the team did usually after all. Thanks to her hacking, she had access to all the knowledge in the world.

“Still, you didn’t know what could have happened to you on the way there,” he reminded her because it was part of the danger that she had gotten herself in. “Laurel, Tommy and I were busy with the robots. You knew that, so you knew that neither of us could have come for you. You didn’t carry a weapon. You were just going by your instinct which isn’t something bad itself, but, in this case, it could have cost you your life. Adding to that, you endangered all of us too because I wasn’t able to focus anymore once I know that you were barging into this danger without any backup. You were reckless.”

Reckless. It was a word he had never associated with Felicity. It had always seemed more fitting to describe himself. Tonight, that was not true though. Tonight, Felicity had been the reckless one of them.

“I wasn’t more reckless than you are every time you go out in the field. I took a calculated risk, something that you should know very well as you have proved doing the same thing time and time again. You just didn’t trust my opinion on how dangerous these plans were and on how I could handle myself. You were just overprotective, trying to control everything and everyone around you, like you always are. You want to go out and risk your life happily to be the big hero your father told you to be, while you are making sure that everybody else stays in their lanes, just so you feel safe.”

Oliver stepped even closer to her. By now, he was so close that his chest brushed against her breasts whenever one of them was taking in a breath. Felicity had to angle her head far back to look at his face. Her eyes were still sparkling with anger, but so were his.

There was something intimidating about the way he was crowding her, almost encaging her between his body and the dresser. Subconsciously, he might have approached her to intimidate her because that was what the Green Arrow would do. Now that he realized it, he felt tempted to take a step back and give her the space he should give her, but he knew that it would underestimate Felicity’s strength and their relationship. Felicity knew that she had nothing to fear from him, so there was no way she could be intimidated by how close to her he was.

He wouldn’t step back.

“You almost got yourself killed tonight,” Oliver whispered, his voice so quiet now that it was barely audible over the sounds of their erratic breathing. “What do you think I would have been supposed to tell the kids? ‘Sorry, guys, mommy died because she wanted to save some stupid papers’?”

“Now you’re being unfair,” Felicity said, her voice a lot louder than it had been before, telling him that he had hit a nerve there. “How many times do you think I sat behind my monitors and wondered if I had to go home and tell the kids that you died? Oh, wait, I had to talk to William about it once after your good friend Malcolm Merlyn faked your death.”

“And this is fairer?” Oliver asked, speaking louder now too. “You know that Malcolm didn’t get a chance to take me out because I was reckless in the field. I wasn’t even in the field.”

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s in the field or not! Wherever you are, you are in more danger than I was in tonight because you could be attacked at any second because you are a billionaire and the mayor and the Green Arrow! Still, what I am doing is reckless, but you-“

“You cannot just go into a building full of armed criminals and compare it to anything else!” Oliver yelled now as Felicity had shouted at him before that too. “I-“

Oliver stopped, holding his breath. He felt a prickling in the back of his neck, something that made his heckles rise.

“You-?” Felicity asked loudly and frowned at him angrily. “You what?”

Instead of answering, Oliver turned around abruptly. He didn’t doubt that his eyes were still sparkling with anger because Millie, who was standing in the door with her stuffed elephant clutched to her chest, flinched as his gaze met hers. She tightened her arms around her elephant, lowering her face into the plush to press it into the toy and be comforted like that.

Flashing a look back over his shoulder to see Felicity rubbing her chest uncomfortably, Oliver crouched down. He smiled softly when he turned back to Millie and reached out his hands for her. Millie didn’t hesitate despite the angry glare she had just received and ran right into his arms. Oliver hugged her tightly and kissed her temple, hoping that she hadn’t heard too much of the fight he had had with Felicity.

“What’s going on, Sweetie?” he asked. “Can’t you sleep?”

“No.” Millie snuggled her face into the crook of her neck. “Can’t sleep.”

“Hm, what could we do there?” Oliver asked and pulled back slightly to look at Millie’s face. “Maybe we can tickle you to sleep.”

That being said, he started tickling her. Millie squirmed in his arms, kicking her feet and slapping her hands around. No matter how much she tried to defend herself against her daddy’s tickling, she was still giggling happily though.

Eventually, Oliver just wrapped his arms around Millie once more and got up. He peppered some kisses to her cheek and asked, “Who should put you back to bed? Mommy or daddy?”

Millie puckered her lips, thinking about it for a moment. She reached her hands out for Felicity then, smiling at her mommy widely.

“Mama!”

“Well, come here, Honey,” Felicity prompted and lifted Millie out of Oliver’s arms. “Mommy is going to put you back to bed.”

“Goodnight, Sweetie,” Oliver said and leaned over to brush another kiss against her temple. “Sleep tight.”

“Night, Dada,” Millie said with a tired yawn and already snuggled her head against Felicity’s shoulder as she carried her back to her room. “Night, night, night.”

Oliver smiled until the door was closed behind his wife and daughter. Then his smile faded from his lips quickly, and the easy feeling of tickling his daughter in the middle of the night wore off quickly. Millie might have interrupted this fight before it could have escalated even more, but Oliver knew that it wasn’t over. He and Felicity were both stubborn, and neither of them would give in easily.

Getting out of his clothes, Oliver walked into the en-suite bathroom. He brushed his teeth, trying to calm his anger, but he already knew that he wouldn’t be successful tonight. Maybe if he got a good night of sleep, he’d be able to see things differently tomorrow. That way, he might be able to take a step towards Felicity. He doubted it, but hope always was the last to die.

When Oliver got into bed, he glanced at Felicity’s side of the mattress. Except from some exceptions, he always slept on top of Felicity. Tonight, he really didn’t feel like doing so though. Instead, he turned his back towards her side of the bed and closed his eyes with a sigh.

It didn’t take long until Felicity came back. He could hear her faltering briefly, and he guessed it was a reaction to seeing him rolled up on his side of the bed that had barely ever been used. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he believed that he could hear her releasing a low breath of relief before she crossed the distance and got in on her side of the bed.

“Did Millie fall asleep?” Oliver asked quietly.

“As soon as her head hit the pillow.”

That was all that was being said before Felicity switched off the light on her nightstand, dipping the room into darkness. There was something incredibly oppressive to this silence which wasn’t something he was used to. It was unsettling and annoying, and it would certainly keep him awake all night.

Carefully, Oliver moved back a little in bed until his butt rested against Felicity’s. He could feel her tensing for a moment until she relaxed. With a low sigh, she scooted back a little too, making herself comfortable.

Neither of them was ready to talk or to take a step towards the other. Still, they both needed this contact. They might be angry with each other, but they still loved each other and needed each other. No fight could possibly change that.

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There was nothing that could possibly cover the dark shadows under her eyes, so Felicity decided to just give up. She closed her compact and put it back into the mirror cabinet.

As her eyes met her reflection in the mirror once more, she grabbed the edge of the sink and shook her head. She looked terrible which was fitting as she was feeling terrible too. She hadn’t caught any sleep last night, and the fight with Oliver was hard on her heart too. Both of it seemed to show on her face.

Almost every cell in her body screamed for her to just talk things out with Oliver. The sooner they solved this disagreement, the better for both of them. After all, neither of them was really able to function when they were fighting. Even before they had been together, it had been hard to just go on when they had been fighting. Now it was almost impossible.

Felicity sighed. If she was less angry with Oliver, she might actually reach out to him and suggest talking it out. Since she still was incredibly angry with him, she couldn’t do that though. She just wasn’t ready.

With an angry groan, Felicity turned away from the mirror and headed over to the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the mattress to put on her shoes.

She loved Oliver, and she knew that there was a huge difference between the man she was married to and the man under that hood. They might be the same person, but they were two very different sides of the same man. Although she knew that, it still angered her that he hadn’t been able to trust her when she had asked him to.

Felicity put her elbows to her knees and let her head hang between her shoulders, shaking her head slightly. Unable to sleep last night, she had recalled the entire situation at InnoTech again and again. She had tried to find a different solution that would have prevented a fight like this, but she didn’t see how that would have been possible. She had told Oliver she was going in, and she had asked him to trust her. She-

When the door opened slightly, Felicity lifted her gaze to see that Hawk was standing in the door, waggling his tail. She smiled at the dog and beckoned him to come closer with a simple move of her finger. Hawk complied happily and pressed his head against her stomach, letting Felicity pet him.

“Why can’t he trust me when we are out there?” Felicity asked Hawk like he could actually answer her. “All these years that we have been working on this mission together, I was offering ways in and ways out of buildings. I was the one telling them where the bad guys are, how many of them there were and what armor they were carrying if I got eyes on them which I always do thanks to the increased surveillance technology these days. Still, he thinks I am just running into a building blindly.”

Hawk made that noises that she always called his dinosaur-noises because that was exactly what it sounded like. It was like he was trying to be the best dinosaur-impersonator. Felicity had barely ever heard anything sweeter.

“That man is just driving me insane.”

With that, Felicity kissed Hawk’s nose and got up. He followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. The kids were already gathered around the table, enjoying the breakfast Oliver had prepared for them. Like always, it was a good mixture of healthy ingredients. The same applied to the lunchboxes he was just getting ready for them.

“Mama,” Addie called out and held out some of her apple slices for Felicity, willing to share her breakfast with her mother. “Take it.”

Humming, Felicity took a bite from the apple. “Yummy.”

“Yummy, yummy,” Addie agreed.

Felicity smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

When Addie just smiled at her happily and offered the rest of the apple slice to her too, Felicity kissed her cheek.

“Nope, that one if for you,” she told her. “You still gotta grow big and strong.”

At that, Addie pushed the rest of the slice into her mouth and chewed happily. Felicity pecked her cheek once more before she straightened up and looked at the breakfast of the rest of the family. Like always, William and Emmy were eating cereals with fruits. Tommy was eating some toast with eggs and avocado. All of them were eating happily. Just Millie was sitting in her chair and picking in her fruit salad.

Walking around the table, Felicity placed a kiss on the top of each child’s head. Since Hawk was sitting right between Millie and Felicity’s chair, she placed a kiss into his fur too. He lifted his nose and licked her chin, waggling his tail.

“Mom?”

Sitting next to Millie, Felicity looked at Emmy. “Yes?”

“Do you know what happened to dad’s face?”

Felicity frowned, shooting a look back over her shoulder to where Oliver was standing at the kitchen counter. She hadn’t yet seen him this morning, so she wasn’t sure what Emmy was referring to. Since he had his back turned towards her, she still couldn’t say it.

“What did dad say happened?”

Emmy looked back and forth between her parents and frowned. Felicity guessed that Emmy didn’t miss that her parents weren’t talking to each other. Felicity had only been in the kitchen for like three minutes, but it was already unusual for them. Oliver liked to put on a show about how much he loved her and how much he loved to spoil her. He was regularly making the kids giggle until one of them fell off the chair.

“Nothing,” Emmy replied, pulling Felicity back from her thoughts, and stared at her father’s back for a long moment. “He didn’t say anything.”

“We had some Green Arrow business to take care of last night,” Felicity explained, assuming that his face showed some bruises as the robots had put on a good fight. “It was a little tougher than we thought it would be.”

“That’s not necessarily the reason.”

The words came from Oliver in a growly grumble, just loud enough to be audible for anyone around. When he turned to face them, Felicity almost assumed that he was looking at her with his angry face. Instead, he was smiling softly as he was balancing the lunch boxes in his hands and pushing them into the kids’ backpacks.

Looking at his face intensely now, she saw the bruise at his jaw. She guessed it had indeed been a robot that had landed the first punch on him in quite some time. The bruise – a mixture of dark red, violet and brown color – reached from the edge of his jaw down to the middle of his neck and up into his stubble. It did look quite bad.

Felicity also didn’t miss that he was moving his shoulder almost robotlike – pun not intended. She could barely remember when he had been shot the last time. Oliver wasn’t an easy target after all.

The fact how badly the robots had hurt him told Felicity that she had made the right choice. Those plans had needed to be destroyed before they could have gotten into the wrong hands. Oliver would probably see that differently, but she wouldn’t change her mind. She had made the right decision, no matter what Oliver believed.

Almost instinctively, Felicity reached out to grab her mug of coffee that was always placed in front of her on the table when she came downstairs. This morning, it wasn’t there though. Her fingers just grabbed the empty air instead.

Frowning slightly, Felicity glanced at Oliver. She guessed that she wasn’t the only one who was still angry. Luckily, she didn’t exactly need him to fetch her coffee. She was a grown, independent woman after all.

Felicity lifted her gaze to get herself some coffee from the coffee machine. Her eyes met William’s briefly, and she could see in his eyes that he had seen what had just happened. His gaze flashed towards Oliver like he wanted to check if he might have just forgotten to fetch her a mug of coffee. There was no guilt and no sudden remembrance in his eyes though.

Smiling at William soothingly, Felicity got up. She did her best not to touch Oliver, who was leaning over Addie’s head and brushing a kiss to her hair. Since Raisa had her day off, Addie and Millie were going to daycare today. For them, it was always a highlight to get a lunchbox of their own.

While Felicity was pouring herself a mug of coffee, she took some deep breaths. If she could, she would just go to work already. Feeling this tension in her home that was usually filled with love bothered her. It wasn’t something she was used to, and it wasn’t something she wanted to get used to either. She wanted her lovely family idyll back.

She just didn’t want to take a step towards Oliver either.

“Okay, what is going on here?”

William’s voice sounded surprisingly adult. He was almost eighteen years old now, so it shouldn’t surprise Felicity that he was sounding this adult. It still did because she refused to get used to how quickly her kids were growing up. In her mind, they were all still wrapped into diapers. Even William, who had been long out of his diapers when she had first met him, was still a baby in her mind. At least sometimes.

“Nothing,” Felicity said quickly and turned around to them. Leaning against the kitchen counter, she sipped at her coffee. Babies didn’t need to know that their parents were fighting. “Everything’s fine.”

“You’re lying.” Emmy put her spoon down and looked back and forth between her parents once more. Although she was almost a decade younger than her older brother, but she did sound quiet adult right now too. “Why are you lying?”

All kids were staring at them, wordlessly demanding an explanation for what was going on. From the corner of her eye, she could see that Oliver had his jaw clenched and his head lowered. Just like she herself, he didn’t know how to deal with this. Fighting with each other was one thing, talking with their kids about the fact that they were fighting was something completely different.

Felicity already took in a deep breath to say some vacuous words that would hopefully satisfy the children until she and Oliver had found a moment to talk about how they wanted to deal with this. Before a single sound fell from her lips, Millie sniffled though. As Felicity looked at her, she saw her sitting in front of her full plate. She was crying, holding her stomach.

“Mama.”

“Hey, what’s wrong, Honey?”

“Stomachache.”

Quickly, Felicity put her mug down and hurried over to Millie. She lifted her from the chair and into her arm, holding her to her body tightly. Swaying her from side to side, she tried to hush her a little bit. Seeing Millie cry was another thing Felicity wasn’t exactly used to as Millie was mostly keeping those things to herself instead of sharing them.

Oliver was at Millie’s side too, brushing his fingers through her hair and placing a kiss to the back of her head. Felicity could see that he was worried because, just like she herself, Oliver knew that Millie didn’t cry easily. She had to be in real pain if she was crying now.

“Okay, I will put you back to bed, okay?” Felicity suggested, rubbing her hand up and down Millie’s back. “I’ll put you back to bed, and then we’ll see.”

“Should I call the office?” Oliver asked. “I have no important appointments today. They can all be delayed and-“

“Not necessary,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “I don’t have any appointments today. I can just work from home. It’s not a problem. I will call Emily after I have put Millie to bed. Can you prepare a heating pad for her?”

“Of course.” Oliver kissed the back of Millie’s head once more. “Everything’s going to be okay soon, Sweetie.”

They shared a long look, and there was the silent agreement that their fight had to be put on hold for a moment. They might have a disagreement as spouses and as partners, but they were still absolutely in tune as parents. No fight would ever get in between that. As children of parents who had rarely or in Felicity’s case never agreed on matters of parenting, they knew that they always had be cohere when it came to parenting.

While he turned to get the heating pad, Felicity carried Millie upstairs and into her room. She took off the jeans she was wearing and changed her back into her pajama pants, knowing they would be so much comfier for her. Putting her in the bed, she pulled the blanket over her despite the warmth in the room. Millie grabbed it and even tugged it up to right under her chin.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Felicity put her hand to Millie’s forehead. She might be running a little fever, but it wasn’t too bad. She checked her daughter’s temperature with her lips too, but she just came to the same conclusion. Maybe Millie had caught some infection when she had been on a friend’s birthday earlier this week. Wherever a lot of toddlers were gathering together, infections were destined to spread.

“What do you need?” Felicity asked her, glad that her daughter was old enough to voice herself. “What can I get you?”

Back when the kids had been too young to speak, Felicity had found herself trying to guess what they needed more often than not. The older the kids had grown and the more kids she had had, the easier it had become for her to know what the kids needed. Looking at a crying kid and not being sure what they needed had always been the worst part of being a mother for her.

“Heating pad,” Millie said. “And cuddles.”

Felicity pushed her arms beneath Millie’s small body and hugged her tightly. Millie was almost clinging to Felicity’s neck. She really had to be in pain, and Felicity felt her heart breaking a little bit for the little girl. When her kids suffered, so did she.

“Mommy is getting you the heating pad now,” Felicity suggested with lowered voice, “and then I come back and we cuddle, okay?”

“And you read me a story?”

“And I will read you a story.” Smiling, Felicity brushed her fingertips through Millie’s dark hair before she kissed her forehead once more. “I’ll be back in a second.”

With that, Felicity got up and hurried back downstairs. William, Emmy and Tommy were already on their way to the car as Oliver would drop them at school before he headed to City Hall. Hawk was accompanying them, running around them like he was trying to herd them. Oliver, on the other hand, was waiting at the foot of the stairs, Addie sitting on his hip and the heating pad resting in his hands.

“How is she doing?” Oliver asked and handed Felicity the heating pad. “Do you think she’s sick?”

“Maybe a little infection, I’m not sure,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe it’s better to take Addie to Tommy and Laurel instead of dropping her at daycare though. If Millie’s really sick, Addie might be infected already, and she shouldn’t infect the entire group.”

“I’ll take her.” Oliver nodded his head. “Will you take Millie to the doctor?”

“I think for now we can just wait and see. I will take her if it gets better or if it’s still lasting until tomorrow.”

“Okay, just call me if she’s getting worse or if there is anything I can do,” Oliver asked of her. “I can come back home spontaneously.”

Felicity nodded her head. “Okay. “

There was a long moment of silence as they just looked at each other. Most of the time, the silence spreading between them was a comfortable one. They had been married for so long and they knew each other so well that silence couldn’t possibly feel awkward between them anymore.

Until this morning it seemed. As much as Felicity tried to deny it, the silence was awkward because there were too many unsaid words that needed to get out. Right now and right here, it was just wasn’t the right time and place. They needed to find that tonight.

“I gotta go now,” Oliver said with a low sigh that told Felicity that he didn’t like the way they were parting today either. “The kids will be late for school.”

Felicity put on a half-hearted smile. “It’s okay. I promised Millie to read her a story, so I will just go back upstairs. I’ll text you how she’s doing.”

“Thanks.”

Oliver hesitated for a moment before he leaned forward and brushed a kiss against the corner of her lips. Felicity closed her eyes, enjoying the way his lips touched her skin ever so lightly and the delicious feeling of his stubble tickling her.

Oliver lingered there for a long moment, and Felicity was sure that he was remembering the same conversation that she remembered right now. He remembered that she had once asked him that they never left each other in anger anymore. For a long time, she hadn’t even dared to be angry at Oliver, thinking it could be the last feeling she had for him before he was taken from her.

Felicity’s stomach tightened painfully at the thought of how traumatized she had been, thinking the last words she would have said to her husband were that she wanted to hit him on the head with a shovel. Back when Malcolm had abducted Oliver and faked his death, Christopher Chance had impersonated Oliver, and Chance, pretending to be Oliver, had called her to tell her that he wouldn’t make it home in time for the conversation about his nightmares they had planned. Felicity had been incredibly angry and hung up the phone. If Oliver had really died that day, the last words she had said to him would have been something along the line of, “I love you, Oliver, but right now I really want to take a shovel and hit you on the head with it”.

When Oliver pulled back, their eyes locked instantly. The silent promise that they would talk to each other as soon as possible was graspable between them. While they were still angry, the blind rage had calmed down. They were ready to talk as soon as they found the right moment.

“I love you,” Oliver whispered. “Always.”

Felicity smiled and squeezed Oliver’s hand. “I love you too. Always.”

They continued looking at each other for a moment longer before Oliver turned around and headed towards the dog. He called for Hawk, who ran back into the house and right up the stairs immediately. Shooting a brief look back over his shoulder, he closed the door behind himself then and left.

Sucking in a deep breath, Felicity massaged the top of her chest. Despite their I love yous and despite the kiss, she wasn’t comfortable about the way they had parted. There had been no angry words and no angry looks, but there had been angry feelings, and if Oliver died before she spoke to him again, she would forever regret not making up with him. It was undeniable.

With a long sigh, Felicity pulled her hair tie from her hair and kicked her shoes off her feet. She couldn’t think about this possibility right now, or she wouldn’t make it through the day without breaking down. She couldn’t have that. She had a sick child to take care of after all.

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FQ: Millie’s asleep now. She’s still got stomachache, but it hasn’t gotten worse. After her nap, I will try if she eats something. Otherwise, I will call the doctor.

Felicity sent the text to Oliver before she grabbed her mug of coffee. She held it between both of her hands and breathed in the delicious steam that came from the mug. The few sips she had had this morning hadn’t been enough to satisfy her need for coffee. She felt like an addict that had tried to resist the urge to use for two days and was no longer able to withstand her need.

The mug was already lifted to her lips. Before the first drop of her personal drug touched her lips, the doorbell rang. She didn’t even get the time to decide if she should just ignore it because Hawk was already barking, probably waiting in front of the door to protect his family in case the person at the other side of the door meant harm to them. If he continued like that, he’d wake up Millie, and Felicity really couldn’t have that.

Getting up, Felicity quickly put her mug of coffee to the couch table and hurried towards the door. Just like she had expected, Hawk was sitting in front of the door already.

“Hawk, pssst,” she hushed him as she grabbed the door handle. “Millie’s sleeping.”

Hawk fell silent immediately though Felicity couldn’t say if it was because she was here to open the door now or because he remembered the sleeping toddler upstairs too. She shot him a brief look, but he was still completely focused on the door.

When Felicity opened, revealing that Tommy was standing in front of the door, Hawk got up and jumped up on him. Just like the kids, Hawk just loved all of the family’s friends. Tommy was definitely one of his favorites as he spoilt him a lot.

“Hawk,” Felicity rebuked him. “Don’t.”

She knew it was hopeless. Tommy, like most people, was just utterly doting when it came to Hawk. He cuddled him, telling him it was all okay. That really didn’t make it easy to educate that playful puppy inside of Hawk’s giant teddy bear body.

Once Hawk finally let go of Tommy, Felicity nodded her head to let him in. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and looked up the stairs.

“How’s Millie?”

“She’s sleeping now.” Felicity sighed. “Luckily.”

“It’s not bad?”

“No, I don’t think so. The kids often catch some kind of infection. Usually, it only takes a couple of hours for them to get better though. I hope it will be the same for Millie.”

“Addie can stay as long as she wants to,” Tommy assured her. “I guess nobody wants her to infect herself.”

“Luckily, the times the kids are infecting each other are mostly over now. I remember a time that Emmy and I continued to infect each other with the most terrible cold I ever had. I remember that Emmy stayed at Thea’s for a while, so Oliver could take care of me. I was crying in his arms because I had such a terribly earache. It was a nightmare.”

Tommy chuckled. “Oliver wasn’t infected?”

“No, that man has an immunity system that’s surreal,” Felicity explained and rolled her eyes. She quickly shook her head though. “What are you doing here by the way?”

“Addie needs some toys. Oliver dropped her off without anything, but you live next door anyway, so I thought I could just step by.”

“Of course.” Felicity headed to the living room and beckoned for him to follow her. “Addie dropped all of her favorite toys in the living room last night. She threw a temper tantrum when Raisa put her to bed.”

“Addie is a little wildflower.” Tommy smiled. “I wouldn’t want to be at the receiving end of her temper tantrums.

A wildflower. Felicity smiled at the words. When Oliver had furnished and designed Addie’s nursery, he had bought the photo of a wildflower. The words In a field full of roses, she’s a wildflower were printed next to it. The framed picture was still in Addie’s room now.

Kneeling down on the floor to grab some of Addie’s favorite toys, Felicity lowered her eyes. For most of the morning, she had been too distracted by taking care of Millie to think about her disagreement with Oliver for too long. Reminded of it now, she felt a little stitch in her heart. It really didn’t sit well with her that they were fighting.

“Everything alright?” Tommy asked, clearing his throat. “Between you and Ollie I mean?”

Felicity lifted her gaze, her eyebrows perked up. She considered lying and saying that everything was fine. Looking in Tommy’s eyes, she was she that he knew better though. He had been there with them last night after all.

“We… are going to be alright,” Felicity just replied, smiling half-heartedly. “We just gotta find some time to talk to each other about it.”

“If you need to drop all the kids-“ Hawk barked, scratching his paw along Tommy’s thigh, “and Hawk at my place, always feel free to do so. Laurel and I won’t mind.”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you, but I don’t think that will be necessary. Once the kids are in bed tonight, Oliver and I will talk, and everything is going to be okay again.”

“I hope so.” Tommy grinned. “You two are my marriage fix.”

“Marriage fix?” Felicity cocked her head. “You aren’t married yet, and you are already in need for a fix?”

Tommy chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. He moved his fingers through his hair, explaining, “I didn’t have a good example of married people growing up. I mean my parents were very much in love, but I was still so very young when my mom died. He jumped into bed with Moira as soon as her body was buried. I am not sure that he was grieving her, but the path he took after her death doesn’t exactly make it sound like my parents’ marriage was exactly healthy.”

Felicity released a low sound, a mixture of a sigh and a hum. “I am not sure what I would do if Oliver died.”

“You would carry on his legacy instead of shitting on everything he did out of revenge.”

As much as Felicity liked to think that Tommy’s words were true, she wasn’t sure of it. Back when she had believed that Oliver was dead, she had felt incredibly numb. When that numbness had passed, she had just felt angry. Blind rage had taken hold of her, and she would have done anything to find the person responsible for his death.

“Don’t worry. Oliver and I will make it out of this without any bad damage. We rarely ever fight, but, when we do, we do it big time.”

With that, she got up and put the toys she had gathered into Tommy’s arms. He took all of them, using his chin to make sure nothing would fall down onto the ground on his short way home.

“Okay,” he said with a low chuckle. “I am going to hold you to that. If you and Oliver don’t make it, I will believe that love is dead.”

Felicity smiled about his belief in their love while she was leading him back to the door. She hadn’t grown up with a role model of what real love looked like either. Since she had gotten married, she had taken John and Lyla as a role model for what real love looked like. They were here marriage fix.

“My offer still holds,” Tommy called when he stepped outside. “Just tell everyone to come over, and I will take care of them.”

“Thank you, Tommy,” Felicity replied, leaning into the door. “And give Addie a kiss from me.”

“I will.”

Watching him leave to his house, Felicity enjoyed the fresh air outside. It was warm today, but the cool breeze made it much more bearable than it had been these last couple of days. Maybe Millie would like to go outside and lie down on one of the beach chairs at the pool later today.

“Mommy?”

Surprised at the voice, Felicity turned around. Millie was standing at the head of the stairs, holding her elephant dangling from her hand. Immediately, Hawk ran up the stairs towards her and licked he face. Millie giggled, pushing him away. Felicity doubted that the toddler would be strong enough to push Hawk away, but he took a step back willingly.

If there was one thing that they had taught Hawk well, it was to respect the kids. Admittedly, there hadn’t been a lot they had had to teach him though. Hawk had been amazing with the kids from the first day on.

“Hey,” Felicity said softly and closed the door. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I am hungry,” Millie explained and put an arm over Hawk’s back. “My stomach’s growling.”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep with that either.” Felicity smiled and held out a hand for Millie. “Come on, Sweetie. We see what the fridge holds.”

“Can I have chocolate?”

“Chocolate?” Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Do you think that is the right thing to try eating when you have stomachache?”

Millie shrugged her shoulder and lifted her elephant in her arms. She clutched it to her chest, holding onto it tightly, while she was looking at her mother with her big, blue eyes. She snuggled her cheek against the elephant’s head and turned from side to side slowly. She looked at Felicity almost the same way she had looked at her last night when Millie had caught her and Oliver fighting.

If Millie wanted chocolate, Felicity guessed that it was worth a try. As long as she was eating anything, it had to mean that she was getting a little better.

“Come on,” Felicity prompted her once more. “I am sure we have some chocolate in the fridge.”

Millie hurried down the stairs and took Felicity’s hand. Hawk never left the little girl’s side either. He probably hoped that he would get some of the chocolate, but the kids new that Hawk didn’t get chocolate. Ever.

While Felicity was checking the fridge for some chocolate, she Millie stayed next to the kitchen island. She was humming the melody of some Disney song, but Felicity couldn’t say which one it was.

“Is daddy coming home?” Millie asked eventually.

“I think at around five,” Felicity replied and smiled with relief when she finally found the chocolate bar. “He’s got come appointments, but he comes home as soon as he can. He can read you your bedtime story tonight.”

Handing her daughter the chocolate bar, Felicity frowned slightly and thought about the question her daughter had actually asked her. She had thought that she had asked her when daddy was coming home because that the usual question she was asked when she was home before Oliver. Replaying the question over in her head right now, she realized that Millie’s question had been a little different.

Felicity watched her daughter unwrapping the chocolate bar and taking a huge bite. She chewed and smiled at her mother, obviously enjoying the chocolate.

It suddenly hit Felicity with force. She knew now what was going on with Millie, and she guessed that she had been blind not to know it before.

“Hey, Millie,” she asked and crouched down in front of her daughter. Putting her hands to her hips, she pulled her closer. “Do you want to play that game with the mice on the tablet with me?”

Millie nodded her head excitedly. Lately, it had grown into Millie’s and Addie’s favorite game. They always begged their parents and their siblings to play it with them although they usually lost against them. Their reaction just wasn’t as quick as the one of their other family members since they were the youngest. They were lucky that Oliver always let them win.

“Just go upstairs already,” Felicity suggested. “I’ll follow in a minute, okay?”

Again, Millie nodded. She placed a chocolatey kiss on Felicity’s lips before she turned around and ran upstairs. Felicity watched after her, feeling relieved and worried at the same time. She knew now that Millie wasn’t really sick which was a good thing. She just wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t have been easier to heal a little infection than a cracked heart.

Straightening back up, Felicity headed towards the living room where she had left her phone. It was resting right next to the now cold mug of coffee. Felicity grabbed it, seeing that Oliver hadn’t yet replied to her text although he had already read it. She guessed that he was caught in some meeting.

With that thought on her mind, she dialed the call-through to Oliver’s anteroom. She didn’t want to unsettle him by calling him on his phone where he would be available for her no matter where he was.

“City Hall, Mayor Queen’s office,” Becky took the call. “You talk to Rebecca Amell.”

“Hi, Becky,” Felicity replied and couldn’t help but smile because she was still proud of herself for finding Becky because that girl had been a lucky find for the position of Oliver’s EA. “It’s Felicity.”

“Felicity, hi.” Immediately, Becky’s voice softened. She knew that she didn’t have to be a hundred percent focused here for a second because Felicity wasn’t going to rip her head off. “Is everything alright with Millie? Oliver mentioned that she was sick.”

“It’s not that bad. She’s getting better,” Felicity replied honestly and cleared her throat briefly. “Oliver told me that he doesn’t have any important appointments today?”

“No, he doesn’t.” Becky didn’t even hesitate to give her this information. “I can tell him to come home immediately if you need him.”

“Just ask him to come home after the meeting he’s in right now, okay?” Felicity asked. “And please tell him that it’s not something too bad.”

“I will do so.”

“Thank you, Becky.”

“Of course,” Becky replied. “See you, Felicity.”

“See you.”

With that, Felicity hung up the phone. She sucked in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs for a moment, before she released it with a deep sigh. It was time to fix the mess she and Oliver had created last night.

→ → → → →

Tightening his fingers around his keys, Oliver took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed to do that to gather himself. All of those emotions that were still pooling in the pit of his stomach and mixing with each other to an indescribable and uncontrollable entity needed to be tamed before he went inside.

When his alarm had rung this morning, he had still been so very angry. All night, he had been lying in bed and trying to find something in Felicity’s behavior that would allow him to take a step towards her. In his mind, no matter how different her perspective on this was, she had taken unnecessary risks to save those plans. They could have still saved them later on. They would have still saved them later on, but Felicity had just jumped headfirst into the danger for reasons he would probably never understand.

He had hoped that preparing breakfast for his family would calm him down. Cooking always coming down. This morning, it hadn’t changed how angry he had been. No matter how hard he had tried, he had even been unable to make sure Felicity got her usual mug of coffee she always drank before heading to work. He hadn’t been able to.

Only when Millie had started crying, his anger had turned into worry. Millie hardly ever cried. If she did, it was a sure thing to say that she really was in pain, and he hated to see any of his kids in pain. It was not something he would ever get used to it, or at least something he never wanted to get used to.

While he had been going through one meeting after the other at City Hall, he had almost felt numbed by all the emotions flooding him. He had still been angry about Felicity’s behavior. He had been worried about Millie. He had been mad that he and Felicity hadn’t been able to hide their disagreement from the kids. He had been nervous about what talking this out with Felicity would bring. Most of all, he had been missing his picture-perfect family life though.

Oliver released a low sigh at that though. For the last years, he had been spoilt with living this perfect dream. He and Felicity had always been perfectly in synch with each other. The few times that they had been disagreeing on something, they had worked it out quickly. Whenever one of the kids had been not okay, it had always been a situation that could have been handled quickly.

Fighting with Felicity the same day Millie was falling sick was a lot to take after all that perfect happiness he had experienced lately.

Taking in another deep breath, Oliver finally unlocked the front door. Even before he had taken a foot over the doorstep, he saw Felicity. She was sitting on the foot of the stairs, holding a mug of coffee in her hands. From the lack of steam, Oliver assumed that the coffee was already cold. Still, the mug was still full. She probably hadn’t taken a single sip of it.

Their gazes met, and Oliver could see that Felicity was as conflicted about the different emotions she had probably been put through today as he was. Neither of them got to say anything though because Hawk came running from upstairs and basically threw himself at Oliver. He wrapped an arm around their dog, holding him against his body and slightly above the floor, and let him lick his face.

“Hi, Buddy.” He bent down enough for Hawk’s hind paws to touch the floor. The dog’s forepaws were still resting on Oliver’s shoulders though, and Oliver moved his fingers through Hawk’s full fur. “Did you take good care of our sick girl?”

“He was great,” Felicity replied since Hawk couldn’t speak for himself. “He cuddled with her all day. She enjoyed it very much.”

“I guess we have a winner for the steak in the freezer. I will defrost it for you for dinner, Buddy.”

With that, he kisses Hawk’s nose and gently pushed him down. Hawk snuggled to Oliver’s legs like a cat for a moment longer. It wasn’t long before he finally stopped and turned his ears forward. He must have heard something, probably Millie, because he was quickly running upstairs.

Oliver watched after Hawk, smiling to himself. Agreeing to have a dog was the best decision he had ever made. Hawk had enriched their lives more than Oliver had ever though was possible. The kids love him. Felicity loved him. Oliver loved him. Hawk was a family member like everyone else in this family.

Without Hawk being there to focus on, Oliver looked at Felicity. She had gotten up on her feet and was leaning against the newel of the handrail. She looked tired and exhausted which didn’t surprise Oliver because he knew that she hadn’t caught any sleep tonight either. Taking care of Millie had probably robbed her of the little energy she had had left.

“Hey,” he said softly. He lowered his eyes, watching his fingers dropping his keys into the bowl on the small table next to the door. “So, Becky told me you called.”

It was a stupid thing to say because he already knew that Felicity knew that Becky had told him. If she hadn’t told him, he would have stayed at City Hall for two hours more. Instead, he had left the office early and trusted Becky with the task of delaying the two appointments he still would have had today.

“Yeah.” Felicity released a deep sigh, making it sound like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. “We need to talk.”

Oliver nodded his head, more to himself than to Felicity. Taking off the jacket of his suit and dropping it to the floor like only Felicity did with her jackets, her purses and her shoes most of the times, he crossed the distance towards her. He put his hands to hers that were resting on the newel because thinking about it now it really didn’t matter who took the first step as long as one of them did.

“I know,” Oliver agreed with firm voice. “What I said last night-“

“What happened last night is something we have to talk about,” Felicity interrupted him quickly and pulled one of her hands away from under his fingers to rest it on top of his hands instead. “We will talk about that. I promise. Millie is just so much more important than we are right now.”

Oliver frowned. Becky had sworn to him that Millie was okay. When she had told him that Felicity had asked for him to come home, he had thought that something was wrong with their little girl. Becky had made him believe that Millie was okay though, and he had believed her because Becky had never lied to him before.

“Did you take her to the doctor?”

Even if he had tried to, Oliver knew that he couldn’t have stopped his voice from sounding strangled. He really didn’t like the thought of thinking that one of the kids was sick. He always felt so helpless when they did.

“No,” Felicity replied firmly and took in a deep breath, “because she doesn’t need a doctor. She needs her parents.”

Oliver’s frown deepened, not understanding what Felicity was trying to tell him. Of course Millie needed her parents when she was sick. That doesn’t mean that she didn’t need a doctor though.

“Millie’s not really sick.” Felicity sighed, moving her hand over the back of his slowly. “She’s just scared because of our fight.”

Oliver felt his stomach drop at Felicity’s words. The thought that it was their fault that Millie had cried this morning and had felt sick made him feel sick now. He knew what it felt like to watch your parents fighting, and he knew what it was like to see your parents acting weirdly because they wanted to hide that they were fighting. He had experienced it when he had been a kid too. He had experienced it way too often, and he had never felt comfortable about it.

His parents had made a lot of mistakes. When he had been a kid, he hadn’t seen all of them. Growing up, it had become clearer to him though. He had ignored it and distracted himself with parties because he hadn’t felt like it had been his task to talk to his parents about their mistakes.

He had ignored it until he had been caught on a rescue boat on the North China Sea, and his father had shot himself, asking him to right his wrongs. He hadn’t been able to close his eyes from their failures anymore, and he hadn’t been able to keep silent about it once he had returned from the island.

When he had become a father, he had made a promise to himself. He had promised himself to be better than his parents. He wanted to be honest with his kids. He wanted to be a good role model for them. He wanted to give them the freedom to find out who they were and still set rules to make sure they wouldn’t get lose on the way. He also wanted to make the world around them better the right way. He was still thinking back on that problem regularly, and he hoped he was living up to them.

There were still things that he was sure he didn’t know about his parents and probably didn’t want to know either. He had been so angry at them for so many things they had done already. He wasn’t sure he could take more.

“Why do you think that?”

Oliver knew that, if Felicity was saying their fight was the reason for Millie’s stomachache, she was right. He didn’t doubt her. He just needed more information to understand.

“She came downstairs an hour ago and asked for chocolate,” Felicity replied. “Then she asked if you were coming home today. Not when, if.”

Sucking in a deep breath to ease the tightness in his chest, Oliver nodded his head. He guessed he and Felicity had screwed up badly.

“We need to talk to her,” he stated, nodding his head once more. “Now.”

Felicity nodded her head in agreement and shot him a halfhearted smile. With surprise, he noticed that Felicity was lacing her fingers with his before she turned to head upstairs. He held onto her hand while they were walking to Millie’s bedroom where she was playing that weird game with the mice that she had gotten to know through one of her friends. Oliver could hear it from the sounds that came from her room.

“Hey,” Felicity said softly when she stepped into the room to get Millie’s attention. “guess who got home early.”

Millie lifted her gaze from the tablet. As soon as she saw Oliver stepping in, she dropped the tech device, got up on her feet and threw herself at Oliver. Her arms wrapped around his neck tightly, and her legs tried to wrap around his torso, but they weren’t long enough to encompass it. Hawk, who was lying at the foot of her bed, lifted his head and waggled his tail at the action.

Oliver chuckled, happy about the enthusiastic welcome. It had been a while since he had been greeted home like this the last time, and he couldn’t deny that he had missed it.

While he was happy that Millie seemed to be so much better, he also figured that her behavior confirmed what Felicity had suggested. Millie really wasn’t sick. She was just scared and maybe a little bit heartbroken.

Stroking his hand up and down Millie’s back, he shot Felicity a look. She had sat down on the edge of the mattress, switched off the tablet and put it to Millie’s nightstand. When her gaze met his now, she scooted over to the side of the bed that was placed against the wall. She lay down there and patted the empty space next to her.

“Millie,” Oliver said softly and kissed her cheek. “Mommy and I gotta talk to you.”

Millie pulled back to look at him. “Because I’m sick?”

“Yes.” Oliver nodded his head and lay Millie down on the bed next to Felicity. “That is what we have to talk about.”

Watching Felicity while she was moving Millie’s elephant over the toddler’s face until she finally started smiling, Oliver loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. With a long sigh, he lay down in bed next to Millie. He didn’t have much room to lie comfortable, but he didn’t mind. This conversation was going to be comfortable either way.

“Millie, mommy and I know that you have seen us fighting last night.”

He shot Felicity a brief glance, and she smiled softly. With a nod of her head, she prompted him to go on. Her fingers were rubbing over Millie’s stomach, the way Felicity always stroked the kids’ stomach when they were really suffering from stomachache. He rested his hand on top of hers there and smiled at the smile that spread on her lips in reaction.

“Mommy and I are a really good team,” he said gently. “We agree on a lot of things, because mommy and I are like this.”

He used his free hand to lift it in front of her eyes and cross his fingers. Millie smiled, mimicking him by crossing her fingers too.

“Like this.”

“And closer,” Felicity whispered, winking at Millie. “Daddy and I are so close, it’s almost like we are one person.”

“Right.” Oliver smiled at her briefly before he focused back on Millie. “Mommy and I agree on so many things, but there are a few things that we don’t agree on.”

“You know that, don’t you?” Felicity asked. “Sometimes, you don’t agree with you siblings either.”

Millie nodded her head. She wrapped her arms around her elephant tightly, clutching it to her chest. Although she looked a little nervous, Oliver could see that she was listening closely and trying to really understand what was happening.

“Sometimes,” Oliver continued, “mommies and daddies fight. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other though. It just means that, although it seems like they are the same person sometimes, they aren’t. They are two different people with different opinion. That’s not something bad.”

“Nobody leaves?”

“Of course not,” Felicity assured her. “Nobody will ever leave. Even if mommy and daddy fall out of love and we didn’t want to live together anymore, we would always be here for you and your siblings. Nobody will ever really leave.“

“Which won’t happen either,” Oliver whispered under his breath. “I’d tie mommy to the heating in the basement.”

Millie looked at Oliver for a long moment, and he could almost feel her gaze crawling under his skin and right into his soul. He got the impression that Millie wanted to make sure there was absolutely no doubt in his eyes. Eventually, she seemed to be satisfied though. She turned her head to look at Felicity and looked at her for just as long.

Just like with Oliver, it seemed like she found that there was no doubt in Felicity’s eyes eventually. She took in a deep breath and nodded her head.

“Okay.”

“You’re sure it’s okay?” Felicity asked, tapping her fingers against Millie’s stomach playfully. “Daddy and I want to be sure that you really understand. If you need some more time or daddy and I should tell you more, we can do that. We really want you to understand.”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay,” Felicity said. “That being said, daddy and I are very sorry that you saw us fighting. You shouldn’t have gotten into our fight. We promise that we will be better the next time.”

“There have to be a next time?”

Oliver smiled at Millie’s words. She shot him a brief glance. As much as he didn’t want to, he had to nod his head with a sigh. He wanted to be honest with his kids after all.

“It’s okay,” Millie repeated with a deep sigh. “But, Mama?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m hungry.”

Oliver and Felicity both chuckled at that. They leaned down at the same time and placed a kiss on Millie’s temple. She giggled happily.

“Okay, I suggest you and Hawk go downstairs and plunder the fridge,” Felicity told her. “I am pretty sure that I saw more chocolate there.”

“Cool!”

All stomachache forgotten, Millie jumped up on her feet. She climbed over Oliver and jumped down onto the floor. Without losing any time, she ran out of the room and down the hallway. Hawk only followed her when she called for him, probably already halfway down the stairs.

One he and Felicity were alone in the room, Oliver scooted more into the middle of the bed. He lay down with his back resting in the soft mattress and his head resting in the pillow. His feet were dangling over the foot of the bed as it was way too small for him.

Looking at the ceiling, Oliver released another sigh. It had been a crazily exhausting day, and there were still so many hours to go through. He guessed he would distract himself by cooking for the family later. All this trouble really screamed for a happy family dinner tonight.

“I guess we have to fight more often for the kids to get used to it. They shouldn’t suffer from stomachache whenever we fight because they think this family could break apart.”

“Really?” Felicity asked. “That is what you take away from this?”

Chuckling, she rested her elbow next to his head and rested her face on her hand. She was leaning over him, watching his face intensely. Lifting her fingers to his face, she brushed her fingertips through his stubble. Although she grazed the wound the robots had left on his jaw, he didn’t complain. Her touch was as soft as the brush of a feather.

With a sigh, Oliver turned his head to look at Felicity more. He could see that her anger had passed as much as his. Their worry about Millie and their shame for how their fight had affected them had washed away all anger.

“I am sorry.” Although his voice was lowered to a whisper, there was no doubt that he meant what he said. “There were things I said last night that I shouldn’t have said. I should have never let it escalate the way that it did.”

Oliver barely remembered the things he had said last night. He had been too blinded by his rage to really realize what he had said, but he knew that some hurtful things had been said.

“I am sorry too,” Felicity replied and snuggled up to his side, resting her head against his unbruised shoulder. “I know I have said some hurtful things too.”

Weirdly, Oliver didn’t remember what Felicity had said either. They had just tried to vent their anger. Last night, that had been what they had both needed.

“Do you think it was wrong to go into InnoTech?”

“Nope,” Felicity replied without hesitation before she turned her head against his shoulder to look at his face. “Do you think it was wrong to come save me although you should have known that I wouldn’t go in there blind?”

“No,” Oliver replied, not faltering either.

He lowered his gaze to lock eyes with Felicity. She didn’t look like she wanted to start fighting about this again. Neither did he. He believed in what they had said Millie. The fact that they were fighting was not something bad. They were two individual people after all.

“Can we compromise?” Oliver asked, taking Felicity’s hand and holding it to her heart. “I’d like to find a compromise, or we will run into this very same argument again and again in the next forty years, and I am not sure I can take it.”

“Okay,” Felicity said, nodding her head. “What do you suggest?”

“The next time something like this happens,” Oliver said slowly, “you will tell me what exactly you are doing and how you are secured, and I will trust that you can handle yourself. I will secure the situation I am in before I go to find you.”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow. “You really think that you can do that?”

“Maybe not at the first try,” Oliver replied honestly, clearing his throat, “or the second. Fact is that we have spent the last years talking about how I couldn’t do things alone because I am part of a family and part of a team. It’s hard to see the difference between me doing things alone and your solo adventure last night.”

“It wasn’t exactly a solo adventure,” Felicity whispered, frowning slightly. “Not really.”

Oliver agreed to some extent, but he couldn’t agree with this completely. Felicity had made the decision to go inside on her own, and she hadn’t had any backup because the rest of the team had been busy fighting those robots.

“I know that you think that you had to save those plans. I might not agree with that, but I understand that you really thought that was necessary.” Oliver sighed. “I just hope that you can understand where I was coming from too. I-“

“You were worried because you didn’t know that I was safe,” Felicity interrupted him, proving that she understood him just as well as he understood her. “You know that it’s never really safe in the field, but backup at least makes it safer.”

Oliver nodded his head, smiling quietly. “Exactly.”

There was something incredibly comfortable about having someone in your life that knew you so well. Oliver was very certain that one reason why his marriage with Felicity was so harmonic most of the time was the mutual understanding. They didn’t always agree with each other, but they always understood each other. Understanding was their key to forgiveness and making up.

“There will never be a time that you are in the field and I won’t be nervous,” Oliver told her, “but I can work on accepting that there will always be situation that you feel that you have to go into the field although you cannot wait for backup. If you feel you need to do that to maintain your peace of mind, I have to accept that.”

“I mean it’s not like I really enjoy going out in the field,” Felicity explained. “I do feel a lot safer behind my computers. Sometimes, I just have to leave my comfort zone to stop criminals from taking over this city and ruining all our success of the last years.”

“We all have to do that sometimes,” Oliver agreed with a sigh, “so we will just make sure you get a bulletproof vest and some other things that will protect you in those cases, and then I just pray you won’t ever have to use them.”

The corners of Felicity’s lips twitched in amusement for a moment before she couldn’t bite back her chuckle anymore. Oliver joined into it, tightening his arms around Felicity’s waist and pulling her on top of his body.

“I have missed you,” he told her, brushing his fingers through her hair. “I don’t even know how to function anymore when we aren’t in synch.”

“I hade it when we fight,” Felicity agreed, nodding her head. “Making up is nice though.”

Humming softly, Oliver traced the length of her spine with his fingers. Felicity put her hand against the top of his head and leaned down. She captured her lips in a gentle kiss and moved her tongue against his bottom lip until he opened his lips to her. Their tongue met in a slow dance, moving together softly.

Only now Oliver realized how heavy the fight with Felicity had been on his heart all day. Taking in a breath now, he felt like he could breathe so much more easily. The oxygen spread in every cell of his body, making at least some of the tiredness he had felt all day fade away.

“Making up sounds great,” Oliver mumbled against her lips. “How long do you think we can leave Millie and Hawk alone downstairs.”

“Not much longer unless we want Hawk to turn into a pot-bellied pig with all the food Millie is probably feeding him right now.”

“I always wanted to have a pig as a pet.” Oliver chuckled against her lips. “So that won’t convince me.”

He stroked his tongue deeper into Felicity’s mouth and let his hands travel down her body. Grabbing her butt, he pulled her hips down onto his.

“We have more time tonight,” she told him, the struggle audible in her voice as she really wanted to make up with him too. “So much more time for all of this.”

She deepened the kiss for a moment, sparking his imagination. When their lips parted, Felicity propped herself up onto her forearms and looked at Oliver with slightly narrowed eyes though.

“What?” he asked.

“If I get all those things to protect me,” she asked slowly, “does that mean I will get my own suit?”

Oliver chuckled, unsure if he was amused by the idea because he knew that Felicity really didn’t want a suit and a mask or because the bare idea made him nervous.

Either way, he fell silent again quickly and looked at Felicity seriously.

“No way.”

* * *

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