#i decided to make this a regular text post bc it’s funnier

[dormiveglia-dreamer]

“Hello, my name is AIDA Agnes Kitsworth Radcliffe-Fitz, and I have long brown hair with green streaks in it and brown eyes like drying blood and a lot of people tell me I look like Madame Hydra (AN: if you don’t know who that is get da hell out of here!) I’m not related to Leo Fitz but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a robot but my blood is red and thick. I have pale white skin. I’m also a part of hydra and I work at the Triskelion in dc where I’m the leader. I wear mostly green. For example today I was wearing a green jacket with black boots and navy pants. I was wearing green eyeshadow and black lipstick. I was walking outside the Triskelion it was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was happy about. A lot of shield agents stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them.

[henry-hart]

The Danger Begins s1 ep1

I’m so glad I decided to rewatch this because it made me so happy!!!! (also, to keep you guys from getting uber annoyed with me, i’m just gonna lb on one big post like this from now on lolol)

first off

s1 henry was the cutest thing to ever exist. ever. my heart couldn’t take it bc he’s so grown now but in that first ep he’s this adorable little baby chick ajdksjslk

it was so incredible to see Siren on my screen. Like, within thirty seconds BAM there she was. i felt blessed, like she blessed my laptop

PIPER. MY OVERDRAMATIC DAUGHTER. I miss her “I am NOT okay!!!” catchphrase akdjlsj 

her “so we’re living like animals now” reply to being told to wait for her video to load---same girl, same.

Henry at 13 was a million times more proactive about the whole job search than I have ever been and I’m 22 sksjskjsk

his whole “I’m not good at anything. I’m a big ball of average”---I feel that lol

“No special skills needed.” “That’s me!!” 

okay one of Char’s first lines was “One day when you two are cleaning my pool bc you failed this algebra test...” and it doesn’t get more iconic than that

GOOCH. I HAVE MISSED YOU. 

Ray just coming in with all these ridiculous questions lolol poor Hen

“I’m 13. I’ll be 14....on my next bday.” ajskjsksljk

“Ah, so you’re aging sequentially. I like that. The name’s Ray.” “Nice to meet you, Ray. I’m Henry.” “You ask a lot of questions.” “I....don’t think....I’ve asked any questions...????” loved it

I laughed when Ray changed into his uniform and the zipper got stuck (that never happens again????)

“Did you have to melt my phone???” Hen, sweetie, hate to break it to you, but your phone gets broken.....preeeeetty much every ep (need me a bank account like that where I can steady get new iphones)

WhAt Do YoU mEaN nO sPeCiAl SkIlLs HeNrY???? yOu NoTiCeD tHe TaToO!!!!!! u smart lil cookie

Ray was all “I’m getting old. I can’t do this forever.” Two things: 1) RAY DID YOU JUST REFER TO YOURSELF AND OLD IN THE SAME SENTENCE??? 2) why is this never mentioned again??? Like, Ray got a sidekick to pass the mantle onto someone younger to keep protecting Swellview when he’s done. We’re like 4 yrs down the line, and they haven’t even hinted towards CM retiring??? (I know that would mean the end of the show, but they could at least bring it up every now and then)

OK. hated the toddler then. hate him now. 

Props to the props department (ha ha get it???) for all the junk in the store. It’s all so strange and doesn’t make sense and fits the show so well (also it seems like each ep has diff junk??? that’s impressive)

“They seem like nice kids.” “Yeah, they’re names are Jasper x Charlotte. I’ve known them ever since--” “Get rid of them.” “I’ll get rid of them.”

DAWWWW Jasper x his buckets :’))))

“I told you Canadian money upsets ppl!!!” Ah Char (I wonder if Riele comes up with some of these Canada jokes??)

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HEN’S HORRIBLE TEST WARDROBE. IMAGINE IF THEY HAD KEPT ONE OF THOSE IDEAS AKSJLKSJ (there really wasn’t any need for a whole test wardrobe tho--just style an outfit to fits Ray’s. His obvs works out well for him) (I know that’s what they ended up doing lolol)

Okay, Ray’s “Oh man. I ate a lot of fruit.” line KILLS. ME. bc when i first watched this ep, every time the scene changed and Ray was shown w/ a diff fruit, I was like, “Why...is he eating so much fruit????” bc they’re all diff and he even eats a whole pineapple--outside peel and all. BUT I WAS THINKING IT AND THEN HE SAID IT AND IT MADE IT ONE MILLION TIMES FUNNIER.

LIL BB HEN IN HIS SUIT FOR THE FIRST TIME. I CRY. HE’S SO TINY AND HAPPY

“Chew gum. Blow bubble. Fight crime.” Ray wrote those instructions. I just know it. aksjskl

“And what does a single flashing light mean?” “Just to shoot me a text, you know, whenever.” aksjklsk

HENRY JUST GAVE HIS PLEDGE. THEN. HE. SAID. THE. ICONIC. “FEELS GOOD” FOR. THE. FIRST. TIME. I’M CRYING.

Hen not knowing how to get the tubes to work and just jumping up and down making noises aksjlsk

“Affirmative.” “That means ‘yes’.” “I got that.” and so the sass begins lolol love it

“Awwww no! That was my favorite bridge!”

“I hate my life and I am NOT okay.” i feel u Pipes

the sass is strong in those Hart kids. Siren x Jake can’t catch a break aksjslk

Siren. Hart. Is. So. Beautiful. her hair just looks so good this ep

“I’ll run away. I’ll do it.” ajskjskl Pipes chill

Jake....Siren...that’s....your son on the tv screen...like.....that’s literally your child’s face.....the product of both of your genes is right there.....plastered on the screen.....how do u....not....recognize him?????

“Two ppl said they might come.” “Who?” “Sidney Birnbaum and Oliver Pook.” “Ew.” “Those guys eat bugs.” “So? They’re people.” I just love the kid’s line delivery here lolol

I just want everyone to know that s1 Henry is the cutest. I already said it, but I’m saying it again. 

Henry panicking bc he doesn’t want C x J to keep reading about KD but he also doesn’t know what to do so he just throws a glass and smacks C’s phone out of her hand and clean across the room ajskjslk SAME

Jace was so.....twitchy in the first two seasons. He’s really mellowed---which I understand it happens when you get older---but it’s just so funny to see this little bean with all his crazy expressions and loud outbursts and rapid movements lolol

Hey Lelani? You’re hot (give me ukelele lessons pls)

“The toddler’s men stole 5,000 packages of diapers. Can you guess why?” “Uhhhh???” “To bombard the diapers with radioactive zenite particles.” “.....I would not have guessed that.”

also Ray getting lower to the ground as he talks and Hen just following is so funny to me. Ray was really extra in that first ep 

RAYMOND MANCHESTER HOW DARE YOU GET MAD AT HEN FOR WANTING TO GO TO HIS BFF’S BDAY PARTY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING CRIME. HE IS 13. AND YOU WOULD LATER CALL HIM UP WITH THE EMERGENCY ALARM PAST 12 AT NIGHT FOR CORNDOGS, SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

“Okay. Okay. It’s cool. You go to Jasper’s party. I’ll handle the toddler by myself. Don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah. I’ve battled the toddler alone before--almost killed me, but whatever.” and u still want to take a 13 yr old out there??? Ray.

“No, I’m not bringing the muffins!” but u said u would

okay, but the news jumping from CM’s kidnapping to a report on why squirrels love nuts???? TOO tru (they really do that “here’s something serious. kids are dying. now here’s this pointless and meaningless crap” lolol)

“I can’t talk! I’m naked!” friends anyone??? (“You can’t come in. Ross is naked.” “Why’d you tell her I was naked???” “I couldn’t tell her I was naked. She’s allowed to see me naked.” “Why does anyone have to be naked???”) (sorry i just love friends akjslkjs)

I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE SIDNEY X OLIVER ON MY SCREEN. I LOVE THEM. 

I hate u toddler. just in case you were doubting.

Jasper unknowingly saving the day by downloading that sound effect app on Hen’s phone *claps for him*

Henry just....completely kicking butt on his second day???? That’s my son.

“Captain Man!” “Henry!” “It’s Kid Danger.” :))))) I’M SQUEALING. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. HIS LIL POINT TO RAY AND THAT SMALL SMILE. TOO. CUTE. (also Ray just namedropping like they don’t have identities to protect)

“How do I get you out of there?” “I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve been stuck in a baby bouncer hovering over a bottomless ball pit.” CALL SUPERHEROES OUT, RAY. all these extravagant traps they’re caught in and they just....know what to do??? Doubtful. (bottomless pits are impossible, but you know lol)

Ray swinging around everywhere in that baby bouncer was hilarious alkjdlksj

that spitting device is the literal WORST thing i have ever seen. i freaking hate spit.

God, i wish the toddler had stayed tf down there in that ball pit. i wish that bottle had blown him to the center of the earth. (sorry i just really don’t like him akdjslj)

“What do we do with this? (the bottle bomb)” “We give the baby his bottle.” “Ah. Good call.” “Hey.” “Suuuuup.” “Hurry.” “Oh, right.” aksjlsksjl there are some really good moments in this ep

Ray shielding Henry was <33333 (it would be really messed up if he hadn’t considering he’s indestructible, but I like to think that he chose to)

AJKSJSKLSKSJLK HENRY’S FACE WHEN RAY TOLD HIM “GOOD JOB” WAS SOOOOOOO PRECIOUS. He looked so shocked. Like, “CM thinks I did a good job????” 

It’s like, Henry’s second day on the job, and they’re just namedropping right and left. Why be careful???? It’s not like they have secret identities or anything.....(they steady use their real names. i guess they don’t really have to worry. C must be the only smart person in Swellview bc no one else seems capable of figuring it out. I mean, not even his parents recognized him ajksjslk)

If you need any proof that Ray is a good guy, just watch this ep. His willingness to show up to J’s party despite only knowing Hen for like two days is a solid testament to his character. This is the Ray I know and love.

awwwwww poor Jasp. your party isn’t a flop. It’s about to be lit af because your bff is HENRY FREAKING HART, THE SWEETEST BOY TO EVER LIVE.

Ray, your excuse is horrible. “My van broke down across the street so I decided to come into this house and into this basement.” alskjlskj what is that????

“You’re CM!” “Thank you.” “You’re my hero!” “Of course.” oh Ray

Henry’s just watching J freak out over CM, watching how excited and happy J is and knowing he did that for him, and it’s just----my heart is all ajkdjlsjks

Char is the cutest in this ep. she’s fangirling over CM, and it’s so weird bc now she can’t stand him lolol

Hen x Ray pretending they don’t know each other. SO. PRECIOUS. Ray’s face is so sweet and they share this secret smile and just GAHHHH

J asking CM if he can hit him w/ a bball bat alksjlk “Remember kids: never do this to anyone but CM bc regular ppl could be badly inju--AHHHHHH.......I wasn’t done talking.” “Did that hurt?” “Yeah. But I’m okay.” the way Ray says yeah cracks me up bc it’s like, duh it hurt. it was a bat hitting my head lolol

“Hey, CM?” “Yes, boy?” “Would it be ok if Jasp texted a few friends and told them you were here at his party?” “Suuurrreeee. I love being used.” Ray kills me. cooper x jace have some of the best line delivery/comedic timing akdjslkj

*J is shaking CM’s hand* “Thank you so much! This is the best day of my life!” “Ha ha, are your hands always this sweaty?” “Yes sir.” “He takes medicine for it.” “Wellllll, it’s not working.” *wipes hand on J and leaves wet mark* ajsklj poor Jasper

Henry brought the muffins after all <33333 “Muffins.” “Yeah.” (you can tell Jace x Sean were already good friends. so cute.)

Hen x Char got Jasp the bucket from the shop that Gooch wouldn’t let him have. Dawwwwww

“For awhile there, I thought you weren’t gonna come.” “Come on, man. I’ll always be there for you.” then. they. hug. they’re. so. cute. i. love. solid. friendships.

HENRY’S LAST LITTLE LOOK AT THE PARTY BEFORE HE LEAVES IS THE BEST THING EVER. THE LITTLE NOD HE MAKES LIKE, “YEAH. THIS IS GOOD.” LIKE, HE’S PERFECTLY OK WITH MISSING OUT SO LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING FUN. AHHHHHH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. :)))))) <3333333

that was a perfect way to end an ep

<3

I’m glad I watched this. I’ve forgotten most of the earlier episodes which is a crime because they’re so good. It was hard to see Jace so little when he’s so grown now!!!!! My heart couldn’t take it. But lil Henry is precious and I love him. Stay tuned for more rewatches!!!! xoxoxox