#i didn't proofread this post so please excuse any typos lmao

[luminecho]

Hello Echo, question. Do you still have Four brainrot? Follow up question. Do you have any songs that you associate with Four? Thanks bestie <3

Answer 1: Steel, I ALWAYS have Four brainrot <3

Answer 2: I am literally SO FUCKING GLAD you asked, you have no idea how excited I got seeing this holy shit. HELL YEAH I do!! Take a few songs from my playlist

If I include more than 3 Sleeping At Last, Of Monsters And Men, or The Oh Hellos songs on any given playlist or list of songs you may be entitled to financial compensatio-- *looks at this list* oh whoops

1) Crystals - Of Monsters And Men - this might as well be Four’s theme song for all I associate it with him. It’s so good. So so so good.

2) Call Them Brothers - Regina Spektor - Obligatory Call Them Brothers mention. This is not original at all I've seen so many other people talk about this song with Four and-- yeah they're right this song is about Four JKHEHBFDEKF.

3) Bad Blood - Sleeping At Last - I'm biased. If you know me then expect way too many SAL songs from me in any list of songs ever because I will never shut up about SAL and they have a lot of songs I like. So there's 4 SAL songs on this list, deal with it jhkwewjkwjkfh. Anyway Bad Blood gives me so many Four feels. 11/10

3) Soap - The Oh Hellos - THIS SONNGG. Ouugghh. I could probably dissect this song if I wanted to go over every little thing in it that makes me think of Four & why but I already exhausted my song infodumping capacity on the last song on this list so perhaps some other time HDEGJDDEKF. Just. The vibes AND the lyrics. Mannn

4) Forgive Me Friend - Smith & Thell - I have both the original and the acoustic version saved to my Four playlist because I really like both versions hwdfjefke but. There's so many ways this song could be interpreted w/ Four and tbh I'm just gonna leave it up to everyone else because every time I listen to it I think of something else lol.

5) Meteor Shower - Cavetown - I don't have much to say about this one other than thinking about this song gives me a LOT of emotions jhqkdhwbefjk. Just,,, it has a lot of self-acceptance vibes to me when I listen to it in this context and I think I'm drawing those comfort vibes from the melody? Idk but they're there for me lol

6) Glitter & Gold - Barns Courtney - Someone did a mini AMV to this song w/ Four a while back for the LU zine and I've associated the song with him ever since hwdkjgefhkfev. I like the vibes. Reminds me of the forge.

7) Lakehouse - Of Monsters And Men - Idk what it is about this song. It has a mix of homesickness feels and storytelling feels and something about that makes me think of Four. Also there's a line about breaking trust in here somewhere heehee hoohoo Vio go brr.

8) I Dare You - Bea Miller - my brain can't decide if I actually like this song or not for some reason buuuut it has big Four vibes regardless lmao. Mostly in the lyrics. Definitely in the lyrics

9) No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine - based more off the vibes of the song than the lyrics. i don't really have an explanation for this one, it's just always given me Four vibes for no reason hdwkjfgeh. Shadow too. I have it one both playlists

10) I Have Made Mistakes - The Oh Hellos - probably self-indulgent but this one has the self-acceptance and self-forgiveness vibes than go hand and hand with Four as a character so <3

11) From The Ground Up - Sleeping At Last - something about the line "in an effort to remember what being mended feels like" shakes me to my core. Am I allowed to slap the "self-acceptance" label on this song and call it a day? Cause,,, yeah the self love in this song. Ough. Also the themes of growth and being somewhere that's truly home.

12) Overture III / Awake - Sleeping At Last - Bestie this one's so self-indulgent. This song is pretty new and when I tell you that I latched onto it the DAY I first heard it FTHDGHWJKEFG. I connect so deeply with this song and I can and will project every emotion I experience ever onto Four which means he gets this song too. <3 Also it once again has themes of self-acceptance

13) September 15, 2017: Cassini - The Grand Finale - Sleeping At Last - OH MY GOD *VIBRATES INTO THE FIFTH DIMENSION*

Alright alright alright. Listen. This song is entirely instrumental. So why do I associate it with Four, you may ask?

WELLLLLLLL.

First of all, happy anniversary to the event this song was written about! Or-- well, it was the anniversary when this ask was sent djwhfkhjdewjhke. I took a while to answer it. BUT still. Happy anniversary!

Second of all, strap in cause I’m about to infodump the hell out of this song on my way to explaining my reasoning behind why I associate it with Four. It might seem irrelevant at first but trust me, I’ll get there.

(All the stuff I mention here is all explained in a much better fashion by the artist behind Sleeping At Last on his podcast episode about the song here. I'd absolutely recommend giving it a listen if you're interested!)

Cassini was written about a satellite with the same name that was built with the intention of exploring Saturn. On September 15, 2017, its journey was complete and its course was set to crash into Saturn in a brilliant grand finale. Hence the name of the song.

This song is a medley of four of Sleeping At Last’s songs, written as a mirror of the exact flight path of the Cassini satellite. (SAL has songs about each of the 9 planets + our moon.)

The song starts and ends with Saturn. The beginning is a chorus singing the tune of SAL's "Saturn" and the ending is that the song on the "Astronomy, Vol. 1" album leads straight into SAL’s "Saturn" to symbolize Cassini crashing into the planet. Cool, right?

After the opening the song crescendos with SAL’s "Earth" to represent Cassini’s launch. Cassini passed by Venus twice in its flight, so the part of the song immediately after that is from SAL's "Venus". The next part of the song (and ofc the next part of Cassini’s flight) is Jupiter! It’s very faint and distant since Cassini only passed by the planet. Aaand then finally it reaches Saturn.

Now what does any of this have to do with Four?

Welllllll, it's all a bit of a stretch but LET ME HAVE THIS hdgjhkjdwef.

I mentioned that Cassini is a medley of 4 different SAL songs.

Venus could easily be associated with Red! It’s a love song and love of course comes from the heart and all that. But it’s also a song that reflects wonder and awe and I feel like that’s a very Red feeling.

Jupiter is a song I associate a lot with Green, not only because of the song itself but also because of the planet and Green’s wind element. Jupiter is well-known for its storms! So it seems fitting for Green. Jupiter is one of the songs I have on my separate playlist for Green too. It has vibes of instinct and wanting to make things count and make a difference which I feel like fits him.

I feel like Saturn and Earth are interchangeable with Blue and Vio. I’d probably tentatively assign Blue to Earth and Vio to Saturn for now despite Earth being Vio’s element and me generally associating that song with him a lot more than Blue anyway. Saturn is a song about loss and trying to move on and I think Vio encompasses that feeling and experience. It’s very melancholy and slower-paced too, which fits Vio more. Whereas Earth is a very powerful, somewhat explosive song (which fits Blue’s vibe) about ignorance and possibly arrogance. ALSO if you go with Blue as Earth then it works even nicer because Earth and Venus are woven together very closely in Cassini. Which could represent how Blue & Red are both the "heart" of Four compared to Vio's mind and Green's instinct.

And ALL of these songs are packed into Cassini into a convenient little medley. Four songs blending seamlessly into one another creating a whole song that makes me want to throw my hands in the air and weep.

And how perfect that the day Steel sent this ask is coincidentally the anniversary of the day the song is about. jhkqdwfgehf. It was meant to be :>

[vampiricgays]

Elemental

AIR

It was almost instaneous and not. Jacob saw Benjamin the same second Benjamin saw him, their eyes connecting for the shortest time. It was the briefest of glances, the ghost of an introduction, the smallest of moments to try to keep held tight in your grip.

Jacob felt like all the air in his chest had been let out, that there was a hole in his lung and he couldn’t catch a good breath again. Instead of oxygen, the strangest sensation filled his chest and spread to every limb, trying to choke him and keep any sort of greeting or word stuck in the back of throat. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what it meant, just that he had never found scarlet colored eyes to trap him under their gaze with no spiders going down his spine, had never found someone so obviously vampiric so alluring. It shook him down to his core, his thoughts turning to mush and confusion.

When their moment is interrupted by someone wanting to speak with Benjamin, or speaking at him, Jacob isn’t sure which, he feels like he’s been given back the ability to be able to move and think. He doesn’t move, but he does think. He observes and turns it over and tries to figure it all out when it’s staring him the face. He stares at Benjamin, careful to keep a practiced expression of neutrality on his face. There was something boyish yet confident about the vampire, he looked a bit washed out from being, well, dead, and his eyes were a testament to his diet without having to ever inquire about it. He stood with a straight spine, a crooked smile, he was dressed warmly to blend in with the rest of the folks on the continent trying to survive this winter. He smiles wide, for a moment, and the corner of his eyes wrinkle up and Jacob can’t seem to remember what his own name is muchless why it’s so important to make note of everything he can about this boy. He doesn’t have to speak with him to know there’s an easy air around him, inviting and open. He sees it in the faces of who he’s speaking with, in the way he can hear his voice and finds it almost relaxing to listen to.

Benjamin continues to take the breath out of Jacob with every glance they may share. He’s pretty sure he hears a chuckle out of Edward at some point, which he pretends not to hear but can’t help but see what face the most annoying of the Cullen’s is making. Edward just looks amused, looking at Benjamin but something tells Jacob that he’s laughing at him, and not the new comer. Jacob crosses his arms, taking a moment to remember that Edward can hear his thoughts, and tries to picture and project the largest image of a middle finger he can. He hopes maybe that will drown out the thoughts he pretends to not notice, the ones focusing on Benjamin’s hair and wondering what it would feel like to run your fingers through it, the curve of his lip as he speaks, the way he seems to use the softest touch when he reaches out for someone’s shoulder while speaking. 

Jacob pretends he doesn’t know what these thoughts mean. It would never work out anyway, they were so different. It wouldn’t...Jacob doesn’t finish the thought, because there was nothing to think about. Benjamin was just good at stealing all the air in the room and keeping it for himself and Jacob was just confused.

EARTH

Jacob is shown a small demonstration of what Benjamin is capable of a few days after his arrival. Benjamin shows off a little, moving a boulder, making a flower grow in his palm and tossing it at Jacob while deciding to to wink and finger gun him, fire coming from his pointed fingertips. Jacob finds himself so in awe, he almost doesn’t catch the flower before it hits the ground. When he looks back up, Benjamin is grinning, and everything seems to stand still for just a moment. 

“Do you trust me?” Benjamin asks, a glint in his eyes. Jacob’s stomach jumps and twists at the sight of it. 

I want to, Jacob thinks bittersweetly. I want to trust you. But everything he’s ever been taught tells him not to. “Depends on what you mean,” he says instead, trying to keep his tone light and his voice steady. Something about Benjamin keeps him constantly shaken, constantly on the edge, perilously teetering from known and unknown. 

Benjamin laughs, the sound like wind chimes and music and somehow, like comfort. Jacob tries not to beam at the sound, to chase it with more half-jokes, half-desperate attempts to say something in hopes to get a laugh out of the captivating vampire. Benjamin extends a hand to Jacob, something curled into three of his fingers. 

“Your hand, please.” Jacob wishes there was a bone in his body that could have said no. 

Jacob extends his hand and is met by the cooled touch of a vampire, but there are no alarmed goosebumps, no red alerts going off in his head, no fight or flight response. Instead the raised flesh on his arms is from the exact opposite, the hair on the back of his neck is raised high because Benjamin just does that to him, sends electric shocks down his spine with just a glance. He pretends, for the millionth time, to not notice it, or what it means. 

Benjamin curls his fingers in towards Jacob’s palm, letting them separate in the middle for the briefest instant and then close again. Jacob feels something hard inside, something almost warm and completely solid. Benjamin releases it and Jacob’s hand all at once, grinning ear to ear, stars almost visible in his eyes. 

“Take a look.” Jacob turns his palm over, fingers curled protectively around whatever it is Benjamin has gifted him. Inside is a hard piece of stone, molded into the shape of a bat. Benjamin laughs so hard he almost doubles over at Jacob’s surprised expression. “It’s me, you see. So you can always carry it with you.” 

Jacob’s heart leaps at that, eyes hurriedly moving to Benjamin’s face, taking in the curve of his shit-eating grin, the wrinkles by his eyes, the way his hands tuck away into the pockets of his pants. He hopes to find what he wants to see, something soft and warm and visible to the eye. But, he can’t quite make it out. Something seems to still be missing, so he pretend he wasn’t looking in the first place. 

“Thanks,” he says eventually, having spent just a moment too quiet, and still unsure of what to say. “That was really impressive.” Benjamin continues to beam like sunshine, so proud of himself. 

“I’m glad you think so, I do hate to disappoint.” 

FIRE

It’s winter, so of course the nights are so cold that if Jacob were still like any normal human being, his teeth would chatter so hard that they might crack. But, that isn’t the case. He dresses warm anyway, keeping up with everyone else who still decides to dawn coats as they sit around a warm campfire, telling stories from long ago and some only as far back as ten years. Jacob never feels so young as when Carlisle tells stories from his “youth”, just a hundred years old and still learning, or so the doctor had said. 

Benjamin sits nearest to him, the space of two people between them. Jacob spends most of the evening trying to pretend he didn’t wish the space was much smaller. He pretends to no notice the way Benjamin will occasionally glance at him, the way Benjamin will smile when their eyes meet, Jacob almost always the one getting caught staring. The vampires dwindle down, some going in and out of the house, others leaving to hunt. When it is just a handful of vampires and Jacob left around the campfire, Benjamin scoots closer, closing the distance to about six inches. 

“I could make a much more impressive campfire,” he says, “if you were looking for a show, or needed help staying warm.”

Jacob chuckles, “I don’t get cold, not anymore. But thanks for the offer.” Jacob keeps his eyes on the flickering flames, the logs burned black and charred. “You could still put on a show if you want, I doubt anyone here would complain.” 

Benjamin smiles, “Now, why would I care about anyone else when I asked you?” Benjamin glances at the fire, and it shifts and melts. It seems to make inside it’s heart a dead space, leaving a lone, small, flickering flame in it’s hollow middle. Benjamin toys with it, turning it into shapes. First, it takes on that of a circle, or the sun, Jacob is corrected when Benjamin whispers to him what it is and flames lick off it’s sides. He turns it into a hand, making all five fingers move to wave at Jacob. The flames melt into a wolf then, it jumps around, chases it’s tail for a moment before “howling”, flames instead of sound falling from the wolf’s muzzle. 

“Is that supposed to be me?” Jacob asks, unable to help the giggle and smile that follows. 

“Could be, I’ve never seen you as a wolf, though I am fond of the idea of seeing your second form. I bet you could put on quite the show yourself, maybe even out do me.” Benjamin lets the fire swallow it’s hollow middle, the wolf melting away, only for the campfire to grow, higher and higher until it’s near four feet. The other vampires don’t move, unalarmed, as it had not grown wider, just up. A couple watch Benjamin curiously, and some in awe. Jacob knows the feeling. 

“It’s not that impressive,” Jacob shrugs, “not compared to what you can do.” Jacob peaks at Benjamin from the corner of his eye, afraid of what he might be tempted to do should he turn and face the boy. 

“Don’t sell yourself quite so short, you’re something extraordinary, I know it.” Benjamin puts a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, squeezing softly. “You’re a showstopper, just as much as any of us are.” 

Jacob fights the urge to flinch from the touch, not because it is unwanted but because it was so wished for he’s shocked it happened. Surprised that the vampire was so easily able to casually touch him, surprised his instincts did not scream out to turn and attack the hand and the person attached to it that rest on his shoulder. Something about Benjamin’s touch wasn’t quite cold, either, Jacob takes notice. Sure, it is chilled, feels as cool as any other vampire that had ever laid a hand on him, but there seemed to be a lingering warmth under it too. Something that spread soft and slow from his finger tips and spread inside Jacob until it had reached all parts of him, until it had all but consumed him. 

“We’d make a pretty good side show, I’ll give you that, we’d probably go viral.” Jacob can’t look at Benjamin, can’t look at the hand on his shoulder, and can’t even really breathe without worrying he will give it all away, the secret he pretends to not notice lingering in the back of his mind. The secret desire of what he wishes he could say to Benjamin, could do. 

“We’d make millions,” Benjamin agrees, smile still obvious in his voice. “What a pair we would make.” 

Jacob feels warm all over for the rest of the evening. 

WATER

It’s late one night, close to dawn, when Jacob decides to walk into the woods to clear his head. Everything is close to coming to it’s boiling point and he needs air. He walks towards the tree line and keeps walking. He hears a familiar stream run and unconsciously heads toward it, following it’s winding path through the trees and vegetation. He kicks a couple rocks so hard they skyrocket, going high to reach the sky and blink out of sight for a moment against the canopy of trees before plummeting back down. 

He hears voices, all familiar and his spine straightens on it’s own accord. He goes still, unsure if he should continue or if he shouldn’t. He pretends he isn’t trying to hear what’s being said, that he just can’t help how great his supernatural hearing is, but deep down he knows it’s a lie. 

“And you live happily like this? Satisfied?” Benjamin’s voice washes over Jacob like the stream, calming and soothing, relaxing. 

“Mostly, yes. We live like this because we want to, some of us for different reasons than others. We’re mostly satisfied, it doesn’t sit quite as well as human blood would, but it works and keeps us strong and well off.” Esme’s soft voice reaches Jacob’s ears, his shoulders relaxing even a bit more. 

“It comes down to personal choice, whether you want to put in the time and effort to make the change in diet or if you’d rather go on as you always have,” Carlisle says. “I’m sure it’s a very strange concept, to want to desire animal blood over human, but it gets easier the longer you keep it up.” 

“It’s not the strangest idea I’ve ever heard,” Benjamin replies, “though not the most appealing. I’m very intrigued by the way you and your family live, I’ve considered trying the lifestyle out for myself, for awhile at least, just to give it a try. Should everything go in our favor, I find myself wanting to spend a little while longer here in Forks, if you would be so gracious to appease my curiosities.” Jacob tries to crush down the overwhelming relief and joy that nearly explodes in he chest at Benjamin’s words. He had been so worried about saying goodbye, if they ever got the chance, and now...he didn’t seem to have to. He had more time, with Benjamin of all people. 

“You’re welcome here for as long as you like, Benjamin.” Esme’s voice is warm and assuring as always, Jacob doesn’t have to see them to know she’s smiling just as softly and her eyes like melted caramel. 

“If anything, you would only have Amun to deal with,” Carlisle pauses for a moment, “perhaps it’s best if you wait to have that conversation after everything has settled down.” 

“I believe you would be right, I wouldn’t want to risk any unnecessary conflict.” 

Esme and Carlilse exchange a few more words with him before heading back towards their home. Jacob never sees them as they run, only can tell when they’ve passed him and are closer to the Cullen’s house than he is. He continues on, wondering what Benjamin must still be doing, why he is so quiet. That is, until he hears the vampire up in the trees, just the softest of sounds to alert him as to the undoubtedly mischievous activity going on up above. 

Benjamin jumps down and pretends to prepare to pounce, giving off a noise to both alarm and alert Jacob. Jacob laughs rather than jumps, Benjamin fakes a pout, sad to not have surprised the taller of the two, and stands up. 

“How did you know?” He asks, walking closer to Jacob until he is closer than most would stand opposite of someone they had met a few weeks ago. “I was so quiet, I made sure of it.” 

“I’ve got a good vampire radar, and a good pranking radar,” Jacob explains easily, grin coming over his own face.

“How unfortunate for me,” Benjamin grumbles, “I will have to try harder next time.” 

“Next time?” 

“Oh, yes, next time. I’m hoping to stick around for awhile, get to know the Cullens and Forks a little more. I’m hoping to learn a great deal while I’m here, should everything turn out how we will it.”

Jacob’s heart swells, “It’s a pretty boring place, I don't know what keeps you here.” 

“Lots of things. I’m very curious about how Carlisle and his family live, I’ve only just started to get to know you. I’d hate to think of us as a missed connection, we’ve only just scratched the surface of this.” 

Jacob tries not to swallow his tongue or let his stomach fall out his ass. He tries, very hard, to keep his heart from beating even faster and louder than it always is. He tries not to let the color drain from his face, or the hope sprouting in his heart ever truly begin to live much less grow. He doesn’t think he could handle the disappointment of misleading himself. 

“This?” He eventually asks, “What..what do you mean by that?”

It’s Benjamin’s who know seems confused, eyebrows pulling together, “Oh, I mean this, us. We’ve been flirting, or so I had assumed we had been. Had I assumed too much? I was under the impression that we were courting the way the humans do now, you know, the back and forth before things really start.” 

Jacob can’t really think of much else to do or say or think. He tries to make his brain work, when all it seems to do is sort and shift through every interaction with Benjamin he can remember, and wonder where he had been bold enough to make this impression. Where he had misread Benjamin’s signs and not seen it as flirting himself. Where he had missed everything. 

“No, uh, no, I don’t think you assumed too much. I just...I didn’t think you knew that I...I didn’t think that you would be interested in someone like me.” He rubs at the back of his neck, “It took me a little while to admit to myself that I liked you. It just...doesn’t make sense.” 

Benjamin chuckles, “When has anything ever had to make sense? This is a world of vampires and werewolves, Jacob. Nothing ever has to make sense.” 

Jacob nods, “I guess you’re right.” He can’t help but to smile back at the grin on Benjamin’s face. “What do we do now?”

“I think, I would very much like to be able to kiss you now. We are, in fact, clearly stating that we’re interested in each other, and I’ve held back on the few other occasions the opportunity presented itself, but I would never act on something you weren’t comfortable with.” 

Jacob feels his stomach swirl in anticipation and anxiety all at the same time, nerves crawling up his throat and they dare to drag his tongue down his gullet. He fights to be able to speak anyway, unsure of how this will end or play out or even feel in this moment, but can’t find a good enough reason to not give it a chance. 

“Okay. I think I’d like that.”

Benjamin’s hand reaches up and his fingers end up in Jacob’s hair, Jacob can’t keep his eyes from flickering from Benjamin’s lips to his eyes. Benjamin seems keen on letting his eyes take in every part of Jacob’s face, his own finger’s in the boy’s hair, until their almost nose to nose, and he can’t help but look down, at the full lips he’s been wanting to kiss for weeks now. Jacob’s eyes close on their own accord once Benjamin kisses him, and the kiss sends small shocks through his body. The warmth Benjamin carries with him lingers most heavy in his lips, and Jacob finds once again all the air to be sucked out of his lungs by such a soft kiss. Benjamin’s fingers adjust for more grip, to tilt Jacob’s head just slightly so, the kiss still not yet heavy but still sweet and light. It just makes sense, Jacob can’t help but think, it just make sense to be here and to kiss him and to want this.

When Benjamin breaks it, Jacob finds his hand on top of the palm against his cheek. Benjamin’s red eyes seem to have stars in them again, a grin on the vampire’s lips makes Jacob feel like melting into the forest floor all the more. Jacob can’t believe how much he has been waiting for this until now that it’s over, the longing that he could almost have pretended didn’t exist now free and gone. He felt like an itch under his skin had disappeared, had left him and now joy and endearment lie in it’s wake. 

“That was worth the wait,” Benjamin says softly, a curious emotion crossing his features. “All these years, and it was still worth the wait.” Jacob knows the feeling.