#i do burlesque and it was shockingly hilarious to try to describe what i kept wanting to show

[ohthatbunnygirl]

An Anon requested Reylo Burlesque Drabble (song is You Know What I mean by Cults https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXeLGCxJwhw)

                                           _________

It’s not enough that Kylo made partner six months ago.

It’s not enough that he can’t remember the last weekend he had off.

Apparently, it’s not even enough that Kylo’s personally logged in over twenty hours this week on this client. No, obviously, none of that commitment matters because he’s been requested to provide the night’s entertainment for Mr. Snoke, to act like a first-year lemming. To sacrifice and serve as a powerful man’s personal concierge in a city that Kylo knows little to nothing about since he’s always laboring while so rarely enjoying any sort of fruiting.

Wedged under anybody else’s thumb was a position that didn’t suit Kylo Ren one bit, and he jerked his earpiece off with a groan.

Cursing under his breath, he yanked his tie loose to alleviate the pressure tightening around his jugular, but it was no good. It wasn’t his neck that he longed to lay his hands on, and so Kylo directed his fingers back through his hair. Messing up the perfectly gelled dark strands until a few hung over his brow, and even that upset him. No matter what he did, there wasn’t enough of him to pick and pull out that would calm the annoyance of being unable to even comfort himself by slamming down a phone after the order he’d received from Snoke’s assistant.

Why are phones too damn expensive to throw around these days?

Aggressively pressing down the intercom button on his desk, Kylo waited. Fingers tapping to time how many seconds it took his assistant Poe to respond as he craved an excuse to yell at anyone, but before he could get to two seconds the buzz came back. “Yes, sir.”

“Damn it,” Kylo growled under his breath.

“Sir?”

“Two questions.”

“Shoot,” his capable assistant answered back.

“How much does it cost for an old-fashioned work phone?”

“Are you asking because you’re angry again that you can’t slam your cell?”

“No,” Kylo indifferently disputed, but the half second pause gave him away. Leaning back in his chair, he positively glared at his ocean view outside as he heard a faint snicker on the end of the line.

“It’s only twenty bucks.”

“Good, buy one-”

“And your second question.”

“I was getting to that!” Kylo lashed out loud enough to throb a vein in his forehead.  After a twelve-hour day, the man’s patience for his assistant’s frequent case of impertinence clocked in at nonexistent. Leaning in closer to the intercom, Kylo schooled his tone back to professionally crisp, ”Where do I take somebody out for a fun night who’s old enough to refer to Eisenhower’s years in office as ‘The Good Old Days’?”

The longest beat passed before Poe whispered back, “Is this for pervy Snoke?”

“Yes,” Kylo snapped before he blanched in fear. “Shit! No, he’s- don’t call him that. Are you out of your mind? Did anybody hear you? Do you want to get fired?”

“Easy boss,” Poe’s far too chipperly answered back. ”Don’t start planning out my grisly torture so soon. Nobody was around, and since I’m about to make your night it’s probably best to tear me apart me later-“

"Poe,” Kylo warned.

“For your particular client, I recommend the Alexandria Hotel ballroom on the second floor at ten sharp. During the hotel’s prime, it hosted President Taft, Roosevelt, Wilson, and Charlie Chaplin hung out there. Also, Rudolph Valentino’s ghost hangs out on the twelfth floor if Mr. Snoke is into hanging out with shadowy ghost dudes.”

Releasing his finger off of the intercom, Kylo leaned back into his chair. Pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out the faintest chuckle. “He might be.”

                                     __________________

Seated at a table near a small stage, Kylo sipped on a dirty martini. Pure wasn’t his style, and a little head haze certainly helped block out most of his client’s gravelly insinuations. Unfortunately, Mr. Snoke was in rare form that night, and so Kylo was already three drinks in.

“I love Los Angeles,” Mr. Snoke croaked, licking the end of a cigar as his gummy smile grew. “Proud little prude city has an ordinance that tells me that I can’t smoke inside. It’s right in the books, but two hundred dollar bills slipped to that oaf manager, and look at me go,” he chuckled, lighting the end before gesturing to a redhead in the corner.” And look at that girl over there- she’s barely nineteen, and I bet she got in because she’s on some Disney show. I love it. Hot damn, do I love a city that’s light on integrity.”

Of course, that’s what you’d appreciate about it.

Not the perfect weather, or the opportunities, but the ability to pay enough for people to tolerate you.

Thankfully, before Kylo could do something foolish like speak his mind, the lights dimmed. Pale stars flickered along the low hanging ceiling as the audience clapped their hands, and every holler echoed since only the fans above were going. In the stuffy speakeasy, anticipation buzzed all around while Mr. Snoke casually puffed away on his cigar. Spoiling the air around them as a spotlight shined, and Kylo fidgeted with his cufflinks. Curious for whatever was about to begin, but even more eager for Mr. Snoke’s eventual call for his car to pick him up after his heartburn kicked in.

“Ladies and gentleman,” an emcee’s voice boomed out from the back. Parting the crowds with charm to spare, he strolled to the front. Flashing his million dollar smile as he crooned, “I am Finn, and you are infinitely lucky.”

“Tonight,” the handsome man continued, extending his hand towards the curtains behind him. “You will witness magic, hear music that’ll force the hotel’s famous ghosts to clap, and you will see gorgeous women who’ll make you long for a golden age of glamor. We will thrill you, we will fulfill you…enough, and what better way to start the sinning than with our sweetest desert rose. Please give a warm welcome to Miss-A-Rey.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.  

Some girl’s going to pull a bunny out of her hat and then Snoke’s going to pull my account out from under me.

As he sunk into his seat, Kylo’s panicked eyes darted towards the exit, all his famous bravado and confidence fleeing his system as he began organizing his lists of apologies for his client. Already abandoning a plan B or C for some groveling that would cost him more, he anticipated a brutal earful after they left. Knowing Mr. Snoke, the opportunistic bastard would gloat his way into a business discount while Kylo was left to blame his eagerness to get through the night for his lapse in reason. Less than an hour in, the night had already gone to hell, and Kylo’s lower lip pinched between his teeth. Nearly drawing blood as he internally kicked himself for not reading over at least one review about the night’s sure to be lame entertainment.

Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Poe’s judgment.

He wore a suit with polka dots once! What was I thinking?

Playing out every worse case imaginable, Kylo dropped his gaze to the bottom of his glass. Imagining diving in, or at least choking on the olive. Wringing his hands under the table, he barely kept from following through on his briny death plan as the cherry from Snoke’s cigar continued to flare in Kylo’s peripheral vision.

“Better be good,” Snoke’s thin laugh hissed.

Great. Great.

You’re nothing if not thorough, Ren. So I guess this just means you’re nothing tonight.

Crippling doubt wasn’t Kylo’s natural state, but he cycled from ticked off to worried to pissed off as the first performer sauntered up to the stage. Her features were lost in the shadows as she tipped her chin down, but something fluttered along the floor as she stood in place. A slow back and forth rustling that Kylo couldn’t place until the spotlight landed on her, and he sucked in a breath.

Stars above…

A timeless song played out over the speakers, and Kylo suddenly froze in the sweltering room. Everywhere you looked, the rowdy crowd stared in stunned awe along with him as the large wings attached to the performer’s back flared out. Hundreds of snowy white feathers moved in time to the finger snaps in the song, and loose bits of fluff drifted to the floor as light haloed above.

Everything about her otherworldly, ethereal.

Out of reach and tempting.

“I, I can’t take things slowly,” the singer drawled through the speakers. “Come let away, that’s what they all do. Help me, cause I’m feeling shaky. Tell me what’s wrong with my brain. Cause I seem to have lost it.”

Trailing a gloved hand along her chin, the woman slowly tipped her face up. Little by little revealing an angelic face with contrasting sinful red lips that parted suggestively as she swayed her hips along to the music. Playing up innocence as everything below her shoulders promised more.

“Cause I am afraid of the light. Yeah, you know what I mean. And I can’t sleep alone at night. Yeah, you know what I mean.”

Not in a million years would Kylo have knowingly dragged his most important client to a burlesque show, but he couldn’t spare a thought for business decorum when ivory silk wrappings hung off the slender woman’s frame. Gossamer strands all along her body practically begged to be unwrapped, and his lips twitched at the corner. In all her glory, she was the prettiest present he’d ever seen, and when her gaze landed on Kylo, she smiled. Trading a sly knowing look as though they’d met before, and then she was spinning. Unwinding from her bondage bit by bit until nothing but a long glove remained on one arm. Biting the satin between her luscious lips took care of that, and her free hand guided down the front of her bared corset as the melancholy singer’s voice tantalized them all.

“Lonely, that’s not quite my problem. I have all I need, haven’t quite lost it. I try so hard to be happy. Cause something goes wrong once again.”  

Every wing beat carried away Kylo’s breath, and the spellbound businessman leaned in. Unable to take his eyes off of her, unable to do anything beyond feeling his fingers splay across his knees. Tips to knuckles longed to reach out for a touch of the forbidden as the sensual dancer continued to glide around the stage, and awareness of her every move slammed into Kylo. Instead of a steamy bump and grind routine, she moved as smooth as liquid that he longed to taste.The next time her glove flung across the stage, his now obsidian eyes followed the path. Missing nothing, aroused completely by something simple that made his pulse wildly struggle against his throat to get closer to her. All of him lured in by her beguiling charms as she had every unclaimed soul eating out of the palm of her hand, and she knew it too.

“Please, please come and save me. Tell me what’s wrong with my brain. Cause I seem to have lost it.”

Spinning on her toe tips, she gracefully shed layers. Baring honeyed skin with every motion, but along her curves were thin strands of crystals and stars. Metal and moonlight spilling over her body. Delicate beads dangling from a laced bodice that offered up her pert breasts, but all those glittery rhinestones catching the light had nothing on her luminous eyes. This fallen angel who threaded her fingers through her pinned-up hair. This minx warring with herself as her fingers flexed, battling with tugging the strands loose. Pouting through her exaggerated torture before the pins dropped and she cooed in pleasure while leisurely looking up. Flirting her perky ass off as her free curls tumbled down her back, and she had the nerve to giggle as she slid into the splits.

“Fuck,” Kylo whispered, wetting his lips.

Brushing her fingertips up her shin, she then stared over one winged shoulder. Batting the feathers faster and faster. As lovely as she was fierce as the chorus picked up in volume,

“Cause I am afraid of the light. Yeah, you know what I mean. And I can’t sleep alone at night. Yeah, you know what I mean.”

Arching up into a backbend, the dancer ripped at the front of her bodice. Feverishly popping pearls into the crowd, losing control and shattering hearts as the song finished in a frenzy.  Passionately writhing around on the ground, she ended up on all fours. Crawling forward to tempt them all to hell as she tore off the flimsy skirt, and Kylo’s pupils flared. Wanting her, desiring the broken angel who provocatively touched herself as her hair swung. Lusting over the little devil unleashed as Kylo never wanted her to leave the dark side.

Although she was the one on her knees, every inch of this Rey girl seemed made for him to please. Without even closing his eyes, Kylo could envision how gorgeous she’d look when staring down at him. How beautifully her mouth would part for a moan as her dainty fingers scratched along his scalp while he feasted on her.

Of course, Kylo knew it was wrong to crave such a thing.

Her dance wasn’t about enticing him into her bed.

Her dance wasn’t about being exploitive.

Every last shimmy and shake was about taking control, and oh how he longed to give it to her.

Snapping her head up as if she’d read his mind, the dancer locked eyes with Kylo. All her attention fixed on the handsome man up front with plush lips she found downright kissable. Gripping the front of her sparkled bra, she gave her perfect stranger a wink before the last of her modesty was set free. Her breasts bared, her wings shed to the ground, and her smile beaming as she swung silver tassels.

“Cause I am afraid of the light. Yeah, you know what I mean. And I can’t sleep alone at night. Yeah, you know what I mean.”

At the last note, the crowd roared in response before she scampered off stage.

Seconds later everything was returning to normal as if a seismic shift hadn’t cut through the room to leave him ripped to shreds, but Kylo couldn’t wait for the next performer. As the rest of the whooping audience settled in for another treat, he leaned over. Rapidly explaining to Mr. Snoke in a strained voice, ”I’ll be back.”

Before his client could make demands on him, Kylo was cutting through the audience. Back turned on everything he didn’t want as he sought out all that he needed. Putting his wants first until he found her lingering at the edge of the backstage as though she’d known he’d follow. Waiting for him, holding out her hand as she invited herself back to his place so she could misplace her halo behind his bed.