#i do want to try chanko. at least once

[spraxinoscope]

Sumo is the best and worst sport there is

Champion Sumo Wrestler Hokutoumi by Kinoshita Daimon, 1985

I've been playing Street Fighter 6 and maining E. Honda, which is a gateway drug to learning about sumo, which is a gateway drug to watching hours of sumo wrestling on this 24 hour sumo rebroadcast twitch stream.

It's a fun spectator sport but it turns out that sumo is like American football but worse, because in addition to getting their skulls smashed together constantly, they also get all kinds of health problems from the stress, injuries, and diet. The average sumo wrestler lives to be 65 and is likely to get diabetes. It's inhumane. And it's backed by hundreds of years of tradition so they can get away with it.

...but, unfortunately, sumo is cool as shit. Here's why:

You lose a match by being forced out of the ring or getting knocked down. You win by being immovable. How do you become immovable?

By having more mass than your opponent, of course.

Every match starts with both wrestlers rushing together and colliding. All else being equal, the heavier wrestler has an inherent advantage at the start. Strength alone is insufficient; if he doesn't have the mass he'll just bounce off the other guy. If the match isn't decided in the first second, then it becomes a hellish grappling game, as they both try to figure out how to tip over a person who's built like the dog that cannot be tipped over.

So there's this arms race happening behind the scenes as coaches use the power of Dark Nutrition Science to try and make their guys heavier.

Every wrestler is trying to be heavier than average, so the average weight keeps going up. It's been going up since the 60s. Building and sustaining mass, along with doing the accompanying strength training to stay agile, is the challenge that defines a sumo wrestler's career.

This is the real game. The teams (which are called 'stables,' to give you a sense of why there might be a problem here) are competing with each other to win the title of Who Can Put The Most Calories In A Guy.

It's nightmarish, but if I'm being honest, it's also compelling. Like, this is what all pro sports do: relentlessly instrumentalize human beings into honed single-purpose machines. But in sumo the qualities being optimized for are moving fast, hitting hard, and being huge. And it turns out that a person can get really good at all three of those! It's impressive! Inspiring, even! It's just too bad that, you know, it eventually kills them.

Pro sumo is a dangerous, exploitative sport. It probably shouldn't exist. But as long as it does, do yourself a favor: Check out that stream, pull up the wikipedia page on sumo to read along so you can figure out what they're doing, and bear witness to a spectacular and deranged application of human ingenuity and drive.

It does help if you know hiragana so you can read their names. But, cmon, it's 2023. Learn hiragana already. It takes like a couple days on duolingo. The stream chat also has a bot that gives a short bio of any wrestler if you type ![their name]. If channel host sahairah happens to be there, and they often are in the evenings, they will patiently answer questions you have. but don't show up there and ask a ton of dumbass questions, because that would then be my fault.

[dunk-that-touchdown]

Tsuyoshi Kanamori Headcanons

So these were flagged on my other blog since it was littered with so many porn gifs, so I’m reposting them here! Hope yall enjoy em!!

Warning: Spelling mistakes/errors cuz OP doesn’t like to proofread 

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Relationship:

I’ll start this off by explaining the type of girl he would fall for because the love of my life has very specific tastes (but please know that he would fall for almost anyone, but what I’m about to explain is the type of girl he seeks out):

Okay, so physically, Tsuyoshi likes himself short girls. Yes, I know it’s such a cliche to have a tall man with a short girl but he can’t help himself. He thinks they are so cute and he loves the contrast of their heights. He likes the fact that he can just pick you up when he wants to hug you or kiss you and it absolutely drives him crazy when he holds your hand. It’s so small compared to his and he loves that his hand can clasp around your entire hand. It makes butterflies flutter in his stomach.

He also likes girls that are in the cute category. Once again, it’s a cliche but I will not change my mind on this. Girls with wide eyes, chubby cheeks, sweet smiles, and soft looking features are his weakness. This man would honestly fall to his knees in front of any girl like this because he just can’t handle how cute they are.

Im terms of personality, he loves a girl that has a sort of innocent and motherly kind of nature. There is a lot going on in Tsuyoshi’s  life which causes him a lot of stress. Being a captain of a school team as well as being a third year prepping for exams can really put a lot on his shoulders and he would love to have a girlfriend that would be able to help him relieve some of that stress and take some of his daily duties off his shoulders. Things like coming to help him with his chores, helping him study, giving him gentle reminders of when to take a break or go to sleep, helping him with his meal prep and schedule for sumo would be something he would absolutely love his girlfriend for.

He is also a sucker for innocent girls or at least innocent looking. In addition to wanting to be taken care of, he wants to be able to protect his girlfriend and having them look so innocent makes his drive to protect her even stronger. He would never let any harm befall his girlfriend and if she was ever in danger, he would be there for her as fast as he could.

Honestly, he would even beat up any person that dared to cause his girlfriend mild discomfort. You don’t mess with his girl and get away with it, okay?

Now onto some general relationship headcanons:

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better. He’s just such a sweet boy.

He’s very protective of you too. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to you at any point and will always go out of his way to make sure that you are safe. He even formed a protection squad for you comprised of all the first years of the sumo club and some other delinquents from his school. They escort you home when Tsuyoshi can’t do so himself, they watch out for you when you’re out with your friends in a sketchy looking neighborhood and they even come to your house to help you make dinner from time to time because eventually they are going to become your ‘sons’

To be honest, you’ll end up as he mother of the sumo club and no one questions it. They all call you mother and treat you with the utmost respect.

He is kind of shy around you but trust me when I say that it’s so adorable. Like in the beginning of your relationship he gets so flustered by the smallest things that you do. If you laugh at a joke he made, his cheeks will turn a bright pink and he’ll try to look away from you so that you won’t be able to see it but you would have spotted it and it’s just… so cute. If you tease him at all about it, he’ll just stutter and fumble around his words, only making him cuter.

He is such a sweet boyfriend. Like I know I already said this but it’s fucking true. Even though he looks like he could fucking kill you with his bare hands, Tsuyoshi is an absolute teddy bear and only ever wants to see you smiling and happy. Home boy honestly loves for your smile and if anything ever made you sad, he would be right there to help bring a smile back onto your face.

There is honestly nothing this man wouldn’t do for you if it meant seeing you smile. He would walk to the ends of the earth for you if it meant it would bring a smile on to your face. Whenever you’re feeling down, you can always expect him to come to your house with bundles of sweet goodies, teddy bears, and kisses to make you feel better.

He is also very much a gentleman. He treats you with the utmost respect and care and won’t let you waste your precious energy on anything if he has the power or opportunity to do it for you. So things like opening doors for you, pushing in your chair, paying for food, fixing your sink, or wiping your tears away when you cry are all the hints he will and wants to do for you. You are his everything and there is nothing that is going to stop him from providing for you. 

Now it’s canon that Tsuyoshi is a shy boyo. He gets flustered around women pretty easily and has a hard time talking them and when it comes to his girlfriend, he’s even more so, especially when it comes to forms of affection during the beginning of your relationship. He is afraid that he might hurt you or make you uncomfortable because his hands are so big and usually just waits for you to initiate any kind of physical affection because he just has too many worries when it comes to being the one to touch you first.

However, as your relationship progresses, he’ll be a little more forward and begin to imitate forms of affection first. He’d start off with simple hand holding or letting you latch onto his arm as you both walk together or sit beside each other. There is nothing this man loves more than just having you close to him and he’s always dreamed about you holding his hand and having it actually become a reality just makes him so happy. Eventually he will become a lot more comfortable with touching you and will go for bolder approaches to affection like kissing you, hugging you, and just overall touching you.

But honestly he’s a Slut holding your hand and kissing your forehead though. The gesture is just so soft and innocent and intimate and he just lives for it. He also just loves playing with your fingers randomly, comparing them to his and intertwining them and planting soft kisses on them. Compared to his, your hands and fingers are just so dainty and cute and he can’t help but admire them any chance he gets.

Actually, this guy just likes touching you in general. Tsuyoshi is he type of man that will want to be around you 24/7 because he just loves you so much and always wants to know that you’re doing well. Wherever you go, he will always have some part of him touching you, but like I said, holding your hand is his favorite thing to do. Other than that, it’s having an arm around your waist or linking your arms together when you’re walking.

He gets you flowers every other day with the cutest little hand written card that reminds you of how much he loves. Each bouquet of flowers he gets you always has a meaning to it and a card to match (even though his handwriting is a little sloppy). One day you’ll get a bouquet of Arbutus flowers to show that he loves only you with a heartfelt letter going into detail as to why he loves you. The next day you’ll get a bouquet of daffodils to show his desire to love you and how he wants to show affection at any given moment with yet another letter going into detail. However, the flowers he loves getting you most often are roses. It’s pretty cliche but he thinks they’re just as beautiful as you and they are such a universal symbol of love, though he never gets you them in a bouquet. It’s only ever a single rose and he always gives them to you in person along with a sweet kiss.

My husband is super sweet and cute, alright.

He’s the type of boyfriend that will take as long as it needs to understand you and how you’re feeling. The last thing he’ll get want is for you to be upset and will let you take your anger out on him if need be. He’ll sit with you for as long as you need, letting you rant to him and tell him exactly why you’re upset. If it has nothing to do with anger or sadness and you just want to talk to him about something that you’re not comfortable with or familiar with, he will be all ears for you. He wants to be someone you can go to to talk about anything, grounding you and keeping you comfortable and safe.

He’s also the type of boyfriend to do the most ridiculous or mundane things for you when you’re on your period. He will go to hell and back to get you something that probably doesn’t even exist because you mentioned it in your sleep or something. Yoshi just wants you to be comfortable and feel little to no pain when you’re on your period. If you need something to punch because your cramps are too much to handle, go ahead and punch him. He doesn’t mind. He would even suggest it. If you need to cry, he has two free shoulders for you to cry on as well as a vacant lap that you can sit on to cuddle up to him if you need. He’s just very accommodating and understands that what you are going through is painful and will do all that he can to help. If there is stuff he doesn’t know, you bet he’s going to do research if you complain about something he doesn’t quite understand.

Loves having you nap with him!!! Like listen, this man is the softest and warmest person on his team and cuddling with him is like a dream. After he’s eaten his chanko and it’s time for a nap, he’ll call you over just so he can have you in his arms, sleeping peacefully cuddled to his chest. It’s honestly the cutest thing waking up to him because he does that sucky thing in his sleep. Yunno what I’m talking about? Babies do it in their sleep when they don’t have a pacifier and they’re just sucking on their tongue or lower lip. Yoshi does that and it’s just so heart melting seeing him do it. (Though he will deny it if you ever bring it up)

Lunch dates are a must. Almost all your dates happen during lunch, whether or at school or otherwise. He is usually the one to make lunch and then take a bus or train over to your school and eat with you. He is a very good cook and always makes you your favorite foods and desserts and feels such a great sense of pride when you compliment his work.

However, he does have a certain fondness for the sea so he’ll take you on his father’s boat for a date. He likes taking you to different areas in the ocean and telling you all about it since he’s a bit of a marine biology nerd. He knows all there is to know about marine life and can identify almost any sea animal or plant. It’s so captivating seeing how passionately he talks about everything and you can’t help but blush when he answered a question you have for him in such expert detail.

He’s actually very in tune with sea animals as well and they actually like him back?!? So lots of dates where he takes you swimming with different types of fish and maybe even a dolphin or two. He loves the look on your face when you see all the different fish and tries to take as many pictures of you as he can whilst in the water.

Listen, Tsuyoshi is a big guy and being a big guy means he needs big clothes and his clothes are just always so warm and big and comforting, so it’s only natural that you steal them, right?

He just… he loves seeing you in his clothes man. It’s just so cute to him. If you wear his signature black shirt, he’ll probably die from how hot his cheeks will get at the sight of you. The way his shirt just engulfs your body and makes you look so innocent and angelic is just too much for him.

Speaking of clothes, you guys totally match! You were the one to convince him to do it and he actually really likes it. Whenever you go out on dates or to a get together with some friends, you guys always make it a point to match clothes with each other. It doesn’t have to be exact but matching colors and maybe shirts is something you both do often and everyone thinks it’s just so cute seeing you too like that. This big intimidating dude wearing a matching pink shirt with his sweet and short girlfriend is just a heart stopper for everyone.

Lives for your selfies. Every time you send him a picture of yourself, he always feels his knees go weak and his heartbeat flutter in his chest. You are just so cute and beautiful to him and he saves each and every photo you send to him. It doesn’t matter if they actual cute photos or ones with you wearing a face mask on after only having 2 hours of sleep, he is going to cherish each one.

However, he Doesn’t really take his own though. He isn’t really a photo taking kind of guy and always thinks he looks odd in pictures. It’s usually you taking candid pictures of him and sending them to him to have as well as keeping

You guys have the cutest pet names for each other! He loves calling you things like: “Muffin, sweetie, gumdrop, bright eyes, and sugarplum” he thinks those are names that fit you so well and loves using them for you. On your side, calling him: “(teddy) bear, babe, Tiger, Tsu-chan, and honey bear” are some names that both you and him like.

Tsuyoshi loves kids and babies but he is absolutely horrible with them, though not on purpose. Young kids just find him so scary looking and he almost always makes them cry when they make contact with him but he tries his best to make em smile again.

Often times, he gets a bit down when babies cry around him because he really does love kids and he’d like to have a few of his own someday with you.

When he gets all upset about it, you’ll have to come and comfort him. He just doesn’t understand why babies are so afraid of him when all he wants to do is play with em.

I can totally see Tsuyoshi having a bunch of girls and then a single boy. He would have at least four girls and a baby boy as his last child and he would spoil them all to hell.

His first born girl would be his absolute princess and for a while he would be wrapped around her finger, doing any and everything she wanted him to do. Though, she wouldn’t ever want much because she’s such a shy sweetie pie that loves her father to pieces.

He would then have twin girls that are just so rambunctious and energetic that he has a hard time keeping up with them.

His last girl would be much like her mother and yet again, he would be wrapped around her finger.

His son would be like a mini version of him and he loves it so much. He would teach his son how to protect his mother and sisters and how to treat women with respect and it’s just so cute seeing this mini Tsuyoshi waddle around trying to make sure all of his older sisters are okay and giving his mother tissues and hugs and kisses throughout the day to show his affection.

NSFW:

Okay, let's start off with this big boys dick. It’s fucking thick, okay? His cock is a little on the shorter side, being 5.3 inches long but holy shit it is too thick to be real. His cock could do some serious damage to you if you don’t properly prepare beforehand. Not to mention that he’s a bit of a grower too but not by much since it’s only 5.5 inches once fully erect. You can bet that he also has some pretty impressive veins on his cock too that are pretty sensitive~! The tip of his cock matches the girth of his shaft and it’s such a good feeling having it go inside you. It’s also full of rich pink tones that are honestly so drool worthy because it makes his cock look so pretty. A pretty cock for a pretty man.

He also has a lot of pubic hair though he shaves it in a way that you can’t really see it when he wears his mawashi belt but he doesn’t do it often. He doesn’t really tend to his pubes all that much because he just doesn’t really see the point in shaving it all away if it’s just going to grow back. If he has an important bout he is taking part in, then he will shave down a little bit just so that you can’t see much of his pubic hair, but he leaves the rest of it unattended.

He actually quite likes the way his pubic area looks with all the hair and thinks it’s a lot manlier than being completely bare down there. This goes for his girlfriend too. He likes his girl a bit bushier than the norm. It’s not a necessity, but he just thinks it makes his girlfriend a lot more natural and womanly when they have at least some pubic hair but he’s overall satisfied if she wants to keep herself bare or not.

Now like I said before, Tsuyoshi is a pretty shy man when it comes to women… but dude does have some experience under his belt. Mostly during his second year, Tsuyoshi was chased after by a lot of girls from different schools due to his performances in his bouts. Who wouldn’t love seeing that tall ass man and his thick thighs take down other men so easily? One or two girls would have been luckier than others by having taken Tsuyoshi to bed with them, but that’s about it.

With that being said, Tsuyoshi knows what he is doing and is going to treat you very well when he makes love to you. Yup, you heard me right. Home boy makes love to you. Rough fucking is good and all but what he really wants to do is take his time with you, let you feel him and how much he burns for you.

He is a gentleman in the streets but a freak in the sheets. He is a dirty man. Very dirty~! His sex drive is a normal for a man at his age, thinking about sex and women whenever he has a moment to spare. With being a part of the sumo club, he hasn’t really had a lot of experience with women (like I said, he’s only really been with one or two girls sexually in his life) but he has had a lot of time to think about some rather raunchy sexual fantasies he would just love to try out with someone he has really found a good connection with.

He is very skilled when it comes to using his tongue and fingers. He could honestly make you cum ten times over with just his fingers or his tongue.

His fingers are thick and long, good for reaching deep inside you and really giving your pissy a good stretch. All he ever needs is a single finger to really prepare you well for his cock because that’s just how fucking thick they are. Not to mention that they are pretty calloused too so the texture of them against your soft, wet folds is to die for.

Now this boy’s tongue… holy hell his tongue. It’s wide as hell and was basically made for eating out some good pussy. He likes to eat you or slowly, lapping up at you with long, slow livks that are bound to drive you insane. He enjoys taking his time to really taste you and build you up to a slow burning orgasm before you both get down to the real business.

Long, deep thrusts is what Tsuyoshi is best at. Sex with him is always pretty slow, but it’s incredibly intense. He wants you to be able to feel each and every movement he makes, feel his thick cock sliding in and out of you, how it stretches you and makes you moan. He likes to be able to bury himself deep inside you before pulling out and seeing if he can get even deeper. He thinks it’s the perfect way to have sex because the build up is so hot and frustrating but then the finish is so blissful and intense.

Tsuyoshi doesn’t mind having sex in the missionary position or whatever position you suggest, but a few positions that he really likes are:

Concubine - this is a type of doggy style position that allows for good penetration and lots of touching on the male’s part. Since Tsuyoshi is such a slut for touching you, it’s the perfect position for him. He can control the pace as well as touch you all over whenever he pleases. He can have his hands on your hips, holding you tight as he thrusts himself into you or he can leave forward a bit and cup your breasts and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he fucks you nice and slow.

London Bridge - this is a sex position that allows for lots of face to face contact and plenty of deep penetration. This is perfect or the both of you because in this position, once again Tsuyoshi can control the pace and tough you how he pleases, but he also has access to a special little place on you that he knows will drive you wild: your clit. When in this position, when you’re getting closer and closer to your climax, he will pinch and play with your clit slowly, helping push you over the edge and cum hard around his cock.

Eagle - now if you’re anything like me, you love having a man put his weight on you and this is exactly what this position calls for. Again, lots of deep penetration and clitoral stimulation and him controlling the pace. You both will be able to see one another and all of the pleasures faces you make as he fucks You into the sheets.

Time for his kinks!!!

Tsuyoshi is hella into biting! Now, he doesn’t like to do so roughly because he is afraid of hurting you, but he does like to nibble and bite you hard enough to leave light marks on you. He just needs to put his mouth and teeth on you when he feels himself sinking deeper into the pleasure that you are surrounding him in. However, when he does this, he doesn’t moan as much which really sucks because his moans are so freaking sweet.

Mutual masturbation is something he is into. He thinks it’s so hot being comfortable enough around each other to be able to masturbate in front of one another. He likes to watch you tend to yourself, showing him all the ways in which you liked to be touched as he does the same for you. This usually happens in the beginning stages of your relationship, but he still enjoys doing it when you guys are deep into your relationship or even when you are married.

Face sitting!!!! Face sitting drives this man fucking insane! He loves having his head between your thighs, your pussy sopping wet and waiting for his tongue and mouth. He likes feeling you shake and try to grab onto him when he eats you out like this. And the sounds you let out makes him so weak, he can’t help but let out long groans of satisfaction at each little sound you make.

Light spanking. I say light because he doesn’t really want to hurt you at all but he still wants to spank you a bit. The man has big ass, heavy ass, thick ass hands that are bound to leave more than just a little mark on you if he spanks you. He is very cautious when he spanks you and mainly adds it into foreplay rather than doing it during the actual act of sex.

He has a pretty big impregnation kink. He wants to cum deep inside you, giving you everything he has before pulling out and plugging you up with his fingers. He likes the thought of it potentially getting you pregnant even though he pretty much knows it won’t since you’re on a pretty good protection plan but he still likes to hope. It’s a huge turn on for him, having you carry his child. He doesn’t know where he picked up such a kink from but I’m sure it’ll never fade.

Did I mention he’s an ass man? This man just… loves your ass so much. He loves kissing it, biting it, spanking it, and dare I fucking say he likes eating it as well. Just anything to do with your ass, he wants to drown himself in it. Even out of the bedroom, he likes to lay on your ass or give it a little squeeze or a pinch every now and again.

Loves leaving love marks on your thighs and ass! Can’t forget that. It makes him so hot seeing all his little love marks littered over your thighs. He likes to place kisses on them after sex or run his fingers along them. Doing so almost always gets him back in the mood and ready to make some more.

How could I forget thigh riding?!?! Please ride his thigh, it’s so sexy to him. Especially when you’re desperate and needy to get off. It’s like his way of teasing you. He’ll have you sit on his thigh, completely naked and already dripping for him. He’ll instruct you on how fast you’re allowed to go and when you’re allowed to cum. As you’re riding his thigh he’ll play with your nipples, bringing one into his mouth and sucking on it as his hands fondle your ass or your clit. It’s such an intense experience, especially when he makes you look at him when you cum.

[asian-hero]

Is It Just Me Or Are We Soulmates? -4

;)

p1 - p2 - p3

here’s the link if you wanna read it on ao3 -> link

Shiro sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Pulling out his phone, he called his friend Keith to talk about his woes.

“Hello?” Keith’s voice came in through the speaker, tiredness clear in his voice.

Shiro smirked, amused by the other man. “How are you still sleeping? It’s almost twelve,”

“Don’t tell me how to live my life,” Keith grumbled before yawning into the receiver, “Anyways, what do you want?”

“Well, I found my soulmate on one of my tours,”

There was only silence. Before Shiro tried to say something the sound of someone falling broke the silence. Snickering, Shiro shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“Did you just fall?”

“You found your soulmate?” Keith asked, ignoring Shiro previous question.

Shiro smiled, a warm feeling expanding through his chest. “Yeah, his name is Lance and he’s amazing,” he felt his heart sink as he remembered what happened, “But I’m not sure if he likes me.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you two destined to be together?”

“Well we seemed to hit off at first, but then he started acting distant,”

Keith went silent for a minute before responding. “Maybe he’s trying to take things slow?”

Shiro huffed, unamused by Keith’s answer. “I’ve waited twenty-five years, how much slower could I possibly go?”

“I don’t need the sarcasm, Taka. I’m just saying that maybe he’s uncomfortable with immediately jumping into hand holding and kissing.”

“I didn’t kiss him.”

Keith sighed, slightly agitated. “Okay, think of it this way then: you’re at a level seven and he’s at a level two. So you just need to be patient with him,”

Shiro felt his shoulders slump. He didn’t think of whether Lance was uncomfortable, he was just too excited that he finally met his soulmate that he only thought about his feelings.

“I guess you’re right, so what should I do then?”

“I would just leave him be for now, you do have a job to do, after all. So just focus on your work and then talk to him about it after,”

Shiro nodded his head, a frown placed on his face. “Yeah, I guess,” He glanced at his watch, sighing, “Well, I should be getting back now, their tour is almost done.”

“Alright, see you soon.”

Shiro put his phone back in his pocket, looking out towards the palace. Maybe Keith was right, he probably had come on too strong, so maybe he should tone it down a little. He just hoped that it would make Lance happy, that was all he wanted.

------

“That tour was so boring!” Lance huffed as the entire group began to exit the palace.

Hunk rolled his eyes playfully, amused by the other’s reaction. “It was boring because you didn’t have any eye candy to stare at,”

Hunk laughed as Lance began to defend himself, saying that the tour guide for the palace was just boring and kept going on about things that didn’t really matter. Before Hunk could tease him any further they had reached the bus, where a smiling face greeted them.

“Welcome back! We’re leaving shortly for lunch, so please hurry on,” Shiro said, ushering them back onto the bus.

Lance didn’t look him in the eye, instead he hopped on the bus, taking his seat. Hunk sent an apologetic smile to Shiro before entering the bus.

“You know,” Hunk said, sitting down next to Lance, “You could say thank you, or hello, it’s kinda rude to just ignore him.”

Lance felt slightly guilty about just ignoring Shiro, but he couldn’t help but feel insecure after reading his fortune.

“I’ll talk to him later.”

Hunk gave him a blank stare. “When? Are you gonna wait until the last minute? C’mon Lance, you’ve been waiting for years,”

“It’s not like I don’t know who he is, okay?” Lance looked at the ground before responding, “Everything’s fine.”

Hunk placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “I just don’t wanna see you pass up an opportunity to be with your soulmate,”

Lance shrugged his shoulders. Att to get the spotlight off of himself, he pointed at Hunk’s arm.

“Have you talked to Shay?”

Hunk nodded, a small smile appearing on his face. “Yeah, she has her finals tomorrow,”

Lance raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. “How do you know? Did she tell you to stop bugging her?”

Hunk shook his head, lifting up his right arm, which currently had tons of purple pen scribbled on it. “She’s been writing her schedule down,”

Lance snickered, slightly envious of Hunk and Shay’s relationship. Before he could tease his friend further, the sound of the bus door closing and the speaker crackling to life filled the bus. Soon Shiro’s smiling face appeared.

“Hello everybody and welcome back! I hope you enjoyed the tour, I would’ve accompanied you but I’ve seen this tour six times in the past week and there’s only so much a guy can take.”

Some people laughed while others were silently laughing. Lance felt confused. Shiro would’ve gone with him even though it would bore him out of his mind. He couldn’t help but feel even more guilty.

“Anyways, I’m sure that all that walking has made you guys hungry, so now we’re heading over to Hananomai Ryōgōku where we’ll eat some chanko-nabe,” He smiled when he noticed some of the blank stares, “You guys might know it as sumo stew.”

Lance looked out of the corner of his eye, noticing his friend get more excited than he’s been on the first half of the tour. He sighed, a small smile appearing on his face. Looking at Shiro, he noticed that the guide had set down his mic and slumped into his seat. Lance looked down at his arm, expecting another note to appear on his arm. Instead, he was shocked to find that their conversations from earlier had been completely wiped away, only ink smudges remained. He felt his smile drop from his face before he looked back at Shiro, who was currently talking to the bus driver. Looking towards the window, he couldn’t help the sadness from growing in his heart.

------

The group had finally reached the restaurant, which was a blessing to Lance. He only had a small snack with Shiro at the temple, so he was starving. Him and Hunk practically rushed into the building, causing some of the other tourists to laugh at their antics. Once everyone was in, Shiro led them to a couple of booths, motioning for everyone to sit down.

“Everyone choose a seat. Sorry, you might have to make some new friends,”

Lance and Hunk sat together along with a very talkative British lady. She turned towards Shiro, a pleasant smile on her face.

“Shiro, come sit over here!”

He turned towards the table, his familiar smile plastered onto his face. He quickly glanced at Lance before waving his hands in a dismissive way. “Oh no, I don’t want to intrude on your fun,”

“You wouldn’t be intruding at all!” Hunk said, side eyeing Lance as he continued, “I’ll bet that you’re hungry too, so come and sit down with us.”

Shiro took a second to process, before sighing as he sat in the booth, across from Lance. Meanwhile, Lance was silently plotting the death of his best friend.

An awkward silence overtook the table, Lance and Shiro wouldn’t look each other in the eye while the lady and Hunk looked to each other for help. After a while the lady began to speak up again.

“So what brings you two to Japan?” She asked, motioning to Hunk and Lance.

Hunk smiled, eternally grateful for the nice lady. “Well, I’m a culinary student, so my school sent me on a trip across Asia,” he motioned at Lance, who was very interested in his shoes now, “And I thought that I’d take my best friend on the trip with me.”

The two of them kept up the conversation while Lance and Shiro listened in, politely smiling and laughing when appropriate. Thankfully, when there was a lull in the conversation, the food had finally been brought to the table. Shiro thanked the waiter and then turned back to the table.

“Well, good luck trying to finish it,”

Hunk laughed, patting his stomach. “I think I may have filled up on too much street food at the temple,”

Shiro huffed, an amused grin on his face. “Ah, a rookie mistake,”

The table fell back into silence as they ate, the occasional comment on the food or about the tour was made. Just as Lance was about to make a comment a couple of girls came up to their table, clearly not from their group. Shiro looked up at them, tilting his head.

“Is there something you need?”

The first girl seemed to have trouble forming a sentence, as the second one spoke for her. “We’ve just never seen someone so handsome before, so we thought we’d get a closer look,”

Shiro choked slightly, a blush slowly creeping up his neck. “Oh, well, thank you?”

The second girl gave a sultry look (or at least, that’s what Lance thought she was trying to make), then leaned in closer. “Wow, I wonder how far that blush goes,”

Shiro’s eyes widened, clearly trying to escape the conversation. Lance couldn’t help but feel a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. Was it jealousy or just heartburn? He was pretty sure it was jealousy. Looking towards the girls who were slightly inching closer to Shiro, he felt the fire grow in him. Yeah, definitely jealousy. Before he could act on his feelings, Shiro raised his hand in front of the girls.

“Sorry, I’m enjoying lunch with my friends right now, it was nice meeting you,”

The first girl seemed to get the hint, backing off slightly. Her friend, didn’t seem to get the message as she inched closer to him. “Wow, I didn’t know you already considered us friends,” She touched his shoulder, “Why don’t you come back to our table?”

As Shiro was about to decline, the British lady next to him spoke up. “If you didn’t get the hint already, he doesn’t want to be anywhere near you, so kindly step off and remove your hand,”

The girl glared at her before returning her attention to Shiro. She slipped him a piece of paper before winking at him and leaving with her friend. He sighed, slumping back into his seat. Looking over at the person next to him, he smiled.

“Thank you so much…”

“Allura,” The lady said, smiling.

Shiro nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much Allura.”

She shrugged her shoulders, laughing a bit. “My pleasure. Besides,” She pointed at Lance, “He looked like he was going to implode if those girls continued to speak.”

Just like that, lunch went back to normal, with the occasional grumble from Lance and comment from Hunk about how good the food was.

------

As everyone re-entered the bus Lance still couldn’t help but feel bitter about what happened. So as the bus began to move and Shiro sat down in his seat he decided to pull out his pen and write something to his soulmate.

Wow you sure liked the attention from those girls

Shiro looked down at his arm, slightly agitated and confused. Did he not see how uncomfortable he was? Or did he just not care? He rubbed his face and groaned quietly in frustration. Calming himself down, he decided to write back a message of his own.

No. The only attention that I enjoy receiving is yours

He could hear Lance squeak slightly. Shiro smiled softly before putting his pen away. Looking out the window he sighed, silently wishing that the tour would be over soon so he could ask Lance what he wanted to do next. He just found his soulmate after all, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t at least try to make it work.

[pretty-idol-hell]

PriPara Movie Everybody Shine! Sparking Star Live (the space one)

Welp, they abandoned plot again and went back to just rapid fire performances. Which isn’t that bad of a thing, it’s just that this is less of a movie and more of a theater experience so to speak. (It was made for cheering shows but the cheering shows in Nagoya are already overrr... still I’m glad I got to see it at all.) 

So it may be somewhat disappointing when it comes out on DVD since so many performances are reused and the other segments go by super fast. There was some new stuff towards the end, and I will put that under a cut. However if you have watched the anime openings or played PriPuz you already kinda know about it. (Still, I found I had a lot to say...) Also Idol Time preview at the end.

So this movie wastes NO TIME and opens with Meganii all ready to blast everyone into space. The formula for the first 70% of the movie is:

1. The characters land on a planet. 2. The planet is some terrible pun. 3. They have a very brief competition that makes no sense and then the “winner” performs a live reused from the show. 4. Repeat like six times. Haha but I mean, Amazing Castle... Mon Chou Chou... *shivers up and down* There really is nothing like seeing them in the theater... (it reaffirmed for me that Gaarmageddon and Tricolore are the true Grandprix finalists...)

So, and then finally towards the end it happens that... 

A giant umeboshi (pickled plum) crashes into them and small umeboshi people come out and tell Sophy she is their princess. (I think these guys are official characters for something else but I don’t know what. Anyway.) Sophy is totally down with it, but Laala (who is suddenly wearing the space suit she wears in her PriPuz card for some reason... no segway) and Mirei try to tell the umeboshi people that Sophy is not their princess. They decide Sophy should perform and that will prove it. 

Sophy comes down hanging from the ceiling out in that ridiculous bombshell dress (the one from her PriPuz card), but then changes into an umeboshi coord and performs AN AMAZING song called Red Flash Revolution. (I rarely like songs the first time I hear them but this one was awesome.) After the performance the umeboshi people are still convinced BUT then their real princess shows up (who is basically mini-Sophy) and apologizes for wandering off. 

You know, other than Laala and Sophy I don’t think anybody actually wears the outfits they had on PriPuz in the movie... (or at least not in this course).

Then everyone gets sucked into a black hole and although it’s not announced, this is where the different courses start. 

Alternate dimension Tricolore are space pirates and pick up jellyfish Sophy floating in space. As her thanks to them they tell her she has to watch them perform. 

So Hibiki course is basically just Tricolore in SICK PIRATE OUTFITS singing an original song called Neo Dimension Go!! on a space pirate ship. WITH SWORDS. 

IT WAS AWESOME. 

TRICOLORE SOUNDS SO GOOD TOGETHER OMGGGGGG. 

So if you watched the anime spoilers you may have seen Falulu tied up on a pirate ship? Well, if you were worried about that, she doesn’t actually get kidnapped. (This time.) That was just a bit from their making drama. 

Also if you watched the anime spoilers you’ll know the Laala course has a Laala and Nao performance and the Mirei course has Minami Mirei performing with her Idol Lawyer and Idol Prosecutor alternate egos.

Then the tour is over and everyone in is enjoying the success of the tour with a swim when suddenly the sun goes out for some reason. They made a joke about Chanko making a huge splash when she jumped in the water right before but I’m not sure if they actually had anything to do with it. 

EDIT: NO. ACTUALLY upon my second viewing, yes this was a Chanko fat joke. Her splash from jumping in the water goes so high that it puts out the sun. In the next few scenes Chanko is crying in the background. 

So Meganii tells them they have to perform well enough to make the sun shine again!

Everyone gets in their Puchu coords and they do a big finale song together. Almost everyone. Hibiki is not in it. Which is REALLY REALLY OFFPUTTING because Falulu and Fuwari were in it and there was even a space for Hibiki but she just wasn’t there. The only reason for this I can think of is they didn’t want to put her in the fluffy skirt of the movie coord. But a.) seriously they can’t just take a minute to design her some pants like before and b.) she is wearing this coord on the theater bonus PriTicket anyway. (Although you can’t see what she has on at the bottom.) This really upset me because Hibiki wasn’t in the PriParis finale, but she was still technically a villain in the anime at the time so I accepted it. This time there was no excuse.

So I don’t even remember what the song was like because the whole time I was like where is Hibiki. Where is she. Where. Hibiki. WHERE. And then she appeared on a couch floating in space. 

And then I saw my character in the credits so I forgot about this for a while.

Edit: Upon second viewing, the finale is a good song. But I’m still mad. For the record, all of Ucchari BIG BANGS sits this out too because they also couldn’t be bothered to make a Chanko version. But it’s still more distracting that Hibiki is not there because there is literally an empty space for her.

Perhaps this is more proof that Takara Tomy really does secretly read my blog. “We don’t have enough time to redesign this coord for Hibiki so she sits out. OH SHIT we’re gonna make that one girl mad, QUICK throw her character into the credits.”

Speaking of Hibiki’s clothes, before this there is a segment where everyone is in bathing suits. Rantan also appears without her pumpkin head and we see she has short red hair! But they put Hibiki in long pants and a long sleeved button down white shirt. (...possibly with her chest bound?) I felt bad for her. Her gender/clothing preference does not work with the beach... (and excludes her from fucking performing apparently...)

Anyway. And that is basically the movie. 

Except for one thing. 

After the credits we get a “Danpara” (boys PriPara) preview. And I think it was the most bizarre and sexual thing I have ever seen in PriPara.

Reona and Meganii meet in an alley or something. They acknowledge “the time has come”, Reona says “I’m ready” and then they both zip down their clothes in front of one another pretty much down past their navels, exposing their boy chests. The next thing we see is Reona on the stage at Danpara with male voices hooting “IIIZE!”. 

Um. 

WH--- 

Okay putting everything else aside, is... is Reona really going to go to Danpara? I... don’t know... if I am OK with that.... 

Reona and Leo from King of Prism are gradually melding into the same character in my mind. 

(Oh yeah and we see Yui going up to a soon opening Prism Stone too but whatever.)

Somebody needs to do their gender studies thesis on PriPara. I know it will happen. I once heard someone doing one about Sailor Moon.