#i do want to write more of brucie being Crazy tho for sure

[cetaceans-pls]

Apologies if this is a repeat but I didn't trust tumblr not having eaten this ask before so: there's this image that's been living rent-free in my head and considering your 'DG quits the pigs cinematic universe' I think you'll find it just as funny. First some context. I don't know if you are aware but a while ago there was this girl who did a ticktock or smth about her not thinking djs had a ral job and then a dj did a remix of that that became a total hit while displayed the ticktock used to the crowd enjoying the remix. Soon after finding out that ilarious bit of pettiness I saw this tumblr fanart of Jay in full RH going into one of his rant at Bats abt how he only kills those who deserve it, only for Bats to cut in with "what are you a cop?" and Jay to look appropiately horrified as a result. And somehow those two things mixed in my brain until I realized he could have horrified more people as Brucie. Let me elaborate:

So Brucie is at a Gala and somehow Bullock and still-a-cop Dick are there too but the Gala does as Galas in Gotham do and get crashed by the ambitious bad guy of the hour so RH has to go fetch. During clean-up Jay makes the mistake of trying o engage Brucie in a talk about the morality of murder when Bullock and still-a-cop Dick are in hearing distance so -in full Brucie mode- he just says "what are you a cop?" literally all three other men are mortally offended and horrified. Bullock launches into a thin-blue-line speech that has both of Bruce's kids feeling VERY uncomfortable. At one point he realizes he's being recorded by Wayne, but when he asks about it Bruce just says "negative reiforcement" and encourages him to keep going. And yes that does end up in Bruce playing that recording whenever he's too tired to have That Talk with Jay again but unfortuantely for both his kids Brucie is sucha meme for all of Gotham that it could never have ended there.

As it turns out rich people's galas are filled with rich people's ridiculously expensive camera phones and rich people have friends in the artistic scene who know gold when they've struck it. Soon, "what are you a cop?" becomes a N1 hit; containing bastardized samples of Bullock's impassioned speach, Brucie's butal yet seemingly unintentional BURN, and a RH and Officer Grayson who seem to be wishing to be yeeted from their mortal coils. A ridiculously large number of people are now using it as their ringtones for either Jay or Dick and Bruce is just marveling that something so beautiful could have happenned in his life without him having moved a finger to achieve it.

Have a great day! 8D

hey anon! tumblr's been hardcore swallowing messages, it seems like, so thanks for repeating yourself :')

i'm not aware of the tiktok of the girl dissing a dj and then getting remixed to hell and back, but i am very much team #ACAB and i think it's very very funny to have bruce use that as a club when jason acts a little uppity!! it's also much much funnier for the killing blow to happen while bruce is in brucie mode, and dick and bullock catching strays just makes it a 11/10 scenario, no notes, oh my god.

the clip going viral and 'what are u a cop' being used as an insult (gotham man has his card swallowed by an atm machine and snarls what is UP with this cop behaviour) is the reality we deserve.... i didn't think much about the catalyst for dick of dick grayson quits being a cop cinematic universe fame, but your scenario is JUST that right mix of traumatising and so so so funny that i See it.

like jason i reckon not all murder is bad, but also i love the concept of bruce's greatest most positive impact on his kids is becoming an insidious voice inside their head (and on their phones) asking 'is this reasonably or are you being a cop about this?' i will henceforth ponder more scenarios where brucie metaphorically massacres ppl with his mouth.... gosh anon i've really been underestimating how much power my guy holds....