#i don't care about the witcher much anymore but Hmm

[asweetprologue]

announcing that jaskier is bi as if that isn't the most obvious fact on the planet

[notemily]

The Witcher episode 6: THERE'S A DAGRON

"It's like a sexy goose." Jaskier wut

"You feel it just the same as me... That hole inside you." Excuse me?

I'm not sure what it is about the last team that makes Geralt agree to go on the jour--oh, is that Yennefer?

Well then.

He just leaves his horse there? Not even gonna pay anyone to watch her or anything?

Ok I really wish I knew what the fuck was up with the timeline right now.

"You're in love with her." Boring. "Or... The danger here isn't the dragon." More interesting!

"Geralt! It's one of your friends again!" Is Geralt friends with all monsters?

Brave noble knight guy just hacks away at the poor thing.

"I don't think it'll make me prettier, but I need sleep too." Hee.

I guess the conversation about the elves getting stronger is meant to fix us in the timeline. So we're not caught up with Ciri yet.

Green dragons, red dragons, black dragons... Gold dragons are a myth? Or are they?

Geralt is a good guy! He doesn't like to kill endangered species!

Fake Mousesack is getting fed up with Dara asking too many questions. Dara is suspicious for good reason, of course.

Jaskier is AGHAST that someone murdered the dude while his pants were down.

I do like that when Yennefer is like "do you think I'd make a bad mother?" Geralt is just like "clearly"

Geralt admits that he has a "child surprise" and Yennefer accuses him of cheating fate to steal a child, which is funny because like, he didn't even want to take ANY payment.

Fake Mousesack tries to take Dara's weapon but it burns his skin! Handy trick.

A short cut to DEATH! This is very Lord of the Rings, trying to cross Caradhras, but with less snow.

The dude falls, oddly poetically, and his goose girls follow him. I thought he was going to turn out to BE a dragon or something, with how the ladies kept talking about him.

Geralt is sad. Jaskier suggests getting away for a while.

"I quite like your nonsense."

"That scent, the moment I dread most every time you leave..." How many times have they even met? Two?

"They say Witchers can't feel human emotion." "They say whatever justifies despising our kind."

Geralt says he didn't have a choice over whether to be a Witcher. Yennefer admits she didn't have much of one over whether to become a mage either.

Geralt is falling asleep, not because he's bored, but because she calms him. Hmm.

She sure is wearing a fuckton of eye makeup.

Yennefer wants the dragon so she can cure her infertility, AGAIN. Gurl. I think you need a uterus before you can have babbys.

Ciri is rescued? By the black knight? Who is talking about the white flame, which sounds like some bullshit to me still. People who call themselves or their cults "The White _____" are usually on some kind of purity trip.

Oh but no, it's not Ciri! It's the Doppler again! What happened to Ciri???

Yennefer pauses the dwarves so she can get to the dragon's cave first. That's a good trick, like on "Out of This World." (A sitcom that ended when I was 8 years old, and yet, I still remember it. The powers of syndicated television.)

A dragon - with an egg! It has a baby! Well, now you can't kill it, can you, Yennefer?

The goose girls are back. I knew the dude was the dragon! Gold, just like he said.

The lady dragon is dead :( But the egg lives!

"Aard, now!" Yennefer kisses Geralt and he somehow yeets a bunch of the dudes away.

What the fuck is an Aard? (I did look that one up, apparently it's the yeet power that Witchers have. I assume she strengthened it with her magic?)

Geralt and Yennefer save each other during the battle, which is cute.

Lol, Jaskier slept through the entire thing. He's like Bilbo at the Battle of Five Armies.

The dragon gives the dwarves some dragon teeth for proof of death. If they're really made of gold, they can probably just sell those. Who cares about a reward when you have solid gold teeth?

Dara saves Ciri! But he thinks she's like her grandmother, and says he can't be there for her anymore. Noooo I liked him! At least she probably won't be as prejudiced against elves as her grandmother.

Geralt admits that he made a wish, and Yennefer thinks that his wish is why she is drawn to him and gets angry. What exactly did he wish for? I need to hear the Exact Words of this wish before I pass judgement on whether he has Violated Yennefer's Free Will or whatever.

"And though you didn't want to lose her, Geralt, you will." Do dragons have prophecy powers? He also tells Yennefer she will never regain her womb. I could have told her that. The dragon says what he's missing is still out there, meaning Ciri, I suppose. His density.

Geralt says some very mean things to Jaskier. My heart is breaking 😭 he is just a soft boy, why do you have to hurt him

"She is the key, but you are the commissioner." I have no idea what that means.

Fringilla says they will spread "his supremacy" all through the land. Yeah. Like I said. Purity bullshit.

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