#i don't have the checkmark yet but in the settings i could turn off 'finding with phone number' thingy ehhhhh

[bit-b]

About a trending Discord warning:

TL;DR: Discord is NOT making "Find your friends" enabled by default. You're probably not giving Discord your contact information without your knowledge. Their UI choices just suck.

There's a warning post going around by a person I'm not going to name, as I don't want people to dogpile on them. That is NOT the goal of this post, and if you DO harass anyone because of what I write, then you're a garbage person with garbage habits that needs to throw those habits in the garbage.

Rather, my goal with this post is to educate about a Discord feature that's not being represented properly.

-------------------------------------

Supposedly in the new mobile update, Discord added this ""NEW"" feature called "Find your friends", and then they enabled it by default. This feature allows users to use their smartphone contacts to search for their friends on Discord. It also enables others to be able to find you in the exact same way.

Obviously, this would be MASSIVELY dangerous from a privacy perspective.

Imagine if someone had relatives that use Discord. In a scenario like that, those relatives would have an easy way of finding the accounts of family members. And in some home situations, online anonymity from relatives could mean the difference between having an outlet and not having an outlet.

I'm also pretty sure I know some folks with alt accounts (you know who you are). And if Discord was somehow able to cross-reference all your contacts with the Discord accounts you're logged into, that would be DISASTROUSLY EMBARRASSING, to say the least.

So I totally understand how concerning this would be if it turned out to be true.

The thing is, it's not.

The person who made that warning misinterpreted THIS page:

This is the new "Add Friends" page for the Discord mobile app. Obviously, a page to help you add friends. There's a big 'ol window at the bottom showcasing Discord's "Find your friends" feature.

Now, this feature is actually NOT new. It's been around for a long time. But there's a very subtle change that happened with the new update. Take a look at how "Find your friends" used to look:

It starts by giving you a banner at the top of your friends list, telling you that this feature is available. Then when you click on it, it takes you to a page with UI elements that look awfully familiar.

It's pretty clear what happened. In an effort to condense down their friend-finding functions into one menu, Discord took the "Find your friends" setup menu and tossed it in with all the other ways to contact friends.

But by doing this, Discord has made this setup window confusing. It's not immediately obvious if the "Find your friends" feature is ON and running, or OFF and waiting to be activated.

Maybe it would have helped to make the blurple button read something like "Sync contacts" instead of "Find friends". At least then, you could tell at a glance that nothing has been sync'd yet. (Or y'know, maybe just stick to "Grant Permission". That was working just fine before.)

So it seems the OP:

Looked at the "Find your friends" setup menu that Discord hastily slapped into the "Add friends" page

Noticed the checkbox that read "Allow contacts to add me"

Saw that it was already marked

Then assumed that it must be some kind of tucked-away setting that was left ON by default.

To make this abundantly clear, "Find your friends" only works if you opt-in.

That checkmark allows you to tell Discord you are okay with people finding you in this manner. Unchecking it makes it possible to use "Find your friends" without others being able to find you the same way.

It doesn't get set up on your device until you press the big blurple "Find friends" button. Even then, you still have to add your phone number to your account and verify it via a 6-digit code sent via SMS.

After that, you have to give Discord permission to access your contacts via whatever phone OS you use.

You have to be pretty deliberate for any of these functions to start.

I won't say it's impossible to set it up on accident. It's a strange world, and stranger things have happened. If you want to, go check your app permissions to make sure you don't have contact permissions enabled for Discord. It's always good to be sure. But rest easy knowing that you probably don't have to worry about it.

-------------------------------------

In my opinion, I think that anyone who reblogged that warning should consider reversing those reblogs.

Honestly, I also think the OP should just delete their post instead of repeatedly adding amended reblogs to it. At the end of the day, the core of that post was misinformation and misguided assumptions. There's no real reason to keep it up.

Besides, I'd rather pin Discord on things they're ACTUALLY guilty of. Like designing a new UI that's widely mocked. And making things 10x more confusing for the end-user.

Here's Discord's official "Find your friends" FAQ page:

https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360061878534-Find-Your-Friends-FAQ

I hate to beg, but I'd appreciate if people would reblog this post. I fear that the warning post is gonna steer a LOT of people to believe a lot of things about Discord that are logically and functionally not true.

[scenteddelusion5]

"Two households, both unalike in dignity, In our unsightly hell, where we lay our scene," PART 2

Vox x gn reader (Alastor's child)

Note: I learned how to do ť̷̛̠̝͐̀͗̈̎̐h̵̢͎̥͙̳͚͉̮̊̿̋͑̃͜͝ị̵͖͉̈́͂̾̽s̷̮͖͕̞͉̲̝̿̈́͗̿̏́̚͜͠

Also this is definitly going to be a 4 or 5 parter.

Word count: 3385

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Y/n was sitting on their bed, looking at the surprisingly tin device in their hand. These smart phones looked so different compared to the phones in their time. Turning the thing on was a bit of a struggle, but thanks to Vox choosing the settings were easy and his phone number was already saved.

Hello Vox, this is Y/n. I hope you get this message.

The man on the receiving end hadn't read it yet, which they learned they could see bases on colour of the checkmarks, so instead they started exploring the unfamiliar tech a bit, mainly the internet. It wasn't invented yet when they were alive but with the amount of books they read, they were familiar with how it worked.

Y/n was looking up pictures of the TV Demon when a knock came from their door. "Little fawn, we need to talk." They swiftly hid the smartphone under their pillow.

Y/n sighed, "come in."

Alastor walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. "Fawn, I would first like to apologize for the way that I acted yesterday, it was unbecoming, however, I need you to understand that you can't trust Vox." His shadow grabbed one of their romance books and brought it to him. "He only wants to get close to you, to get to me and I don't want you to get hurt. Not only does he already have such a relation with his colleague Valentino but me and him have been in a long feud. You see..." Their father proceeded the tell them the same story Vox had.

"So that's why, I'm sorry this wasn't the novel worthy romance you hoped it was, but if you wished to meet new people, I would gladly take you out of the house sometime."

"Thanks for telling me dad." They put their head on his shoulder. "I forgive you... So where would we be going?"

"Hmm, that's a surprise. Put on something decent and come down for breakfast." Alastor stood up and left the room.

As soon as the door closed, Y/n reached for the phone. A message popped up from the screen.

God, I got to teach you how to text Anyway I was thinking There's this new restaurant opening up, want to go?

I see, Y/n thought, texting is very casual.

I would love too but my father is taking me out today to make up for yesterday. We could go tomorrow

Sure I'll see you at the edge of the forest

Y/n was casually dressed, their phone hidden in their jacket. Alastor and them were walking down a familiar street. "I've already been to Cannibal Town, you know that."

"Yes, yes, I know, little fawn. That isn't the surprise." Alastor waved them off.

The two made their way to Rosie's Emporium. Rosie was standing outside with a younger looking man standing next to her. He wore a brown waistcoat, matching pants and a bowtie. His eyes were pitch black like Rosie's.

"Alastor! You really kept us waiting!" Rosie laughed. "And here I thought you were a gentleman."

"Yes, yes, we took a bit longer. Anyway speaking of gentleman, Y/n, meet Paris." Alastor pushed the man in front of them. "He's a young, stand-up, cannibal demon. I thought that you surely didn't want to explore the rest of hell with your old man, so I asked Paris here to go instead."

"It's an honour to meet you." Paris kissed Y/n on the hand. "I would love to show you around the rest of hell."

"Uhm... I..." Y/n looked between him and their father. "Sure, let's go," they sighed.

Alastor and Rosie watched the two leave. "Once they've spend their day with him, Y/n'll forget all about Vox. Now come inside. I've got a new shipment of livers." Rosie invited her old friend inside.

Vox was still removing the thorns and branches from his favourite suit when Velvette entered his room.

"Wait, so you did go after them?!" She pulled one of the branches out of his hat. "You're sooo whipped. Did you find some dirt on Alastor?"

"No, I didn't." Vox stood up and straightened his suit. "But I do need to prepare for tomorrow."

"No-" Velvette jumped onto him and held his screen between her hands. "- you have a DATE!!! OMG, you two should totally get married, could you imagine the Radio Demon's face. Hahaha." She pulled up her phone and started typing something in google. "So where are you taking them? What are you wearing?"

"We're going to that new restaurant and I'm wearing my usual suit." He pulled away from the other Vee.

"You're not wearing your work clothes. Follow me, we're going shopping."

"So yeah that was the first time I had ever eaten a human heart, it was quite experience, hahaha." Paris was rambling on and on. "Rosie had introduced me to your father, he seemed have approved of me. I, mean, that's crazy, he is THE Radio Demon and all... Oh, have I already told you about my cooking? I-"

The whole time this demon had been talking about himself, oh and the Radio Demon of course. Paris seemed to idolize him, which only put Y/n off more. At least they got to see the rest of hell. The two were walking down the road, a unfamiliar city standing in the distance.

"We should go the other direction." Paris was about to walk the other way.

"Why?

"Oh that's like, uhm, the three Vees territory. It's not a place to take a fair maiden to."

"Dad told you to show me around hell and I want to go there." They continued to walk to the city and it's flashy lights. "Are you coming or am I going alone?"

The two were heading towards the shopping centre. The whole way Paris was trying to convince them to go back. But Y/n was stubborn.

"This really isn't a place for civilized people as you can see, I can show you around another circle in hell." As Paris was talking, they walked up to a window.

The shop window showed a total of ten TV's. Vox 2 Night was on. He looked so handsome in his suit talking about VoxTech's newest invention. They were immediately pulled away from their conversation with the cannibal and lovingly stared at the demon on the broadcast.

"Hey, Y/n." That wasn't Paris' voice.

"Velvette, why are we going to the mall when you can just conjure an outfit for me?" Vox asked.

Velvette pulled up her Sinstagram and showed it to Vox. "Because it's part of the EXPERIANCE, just look. Shopping pics are all over everyone's for-you-page and if we say we're preparing you for a date, we'll totally go viral."

"That's no, we're not telling anyone I'm going on a date." Vox grabbed her phone out of her hands. "Who knows how Val will do when he finds out. No, nope."

"But-"

"No!" Vox's screen zoomed in on his left eye, black circles spiralled in it. As he was using his hypnotising powers, he caught sight of a familiar figure standing in the distance.

"Fine," Velvette sighed, "but at lea-"

But Vox wasn't paying attention to his colleague again. He was walking to the person standing in front of one of his techshops. They were intently watching his night show. Their eyes sparkled.

"Hey, Y/n," he greeted them.

"Vox! What are you doing here?" Y/n's face immediately brightened seeing the TV Demon.

"Hello, I'm Paris." The demon stepped in between the two lovebirds. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, you can fuck off." Vox pushed past him.

Y/n, me and Vox were just about to go shopping. Do you want to come with?" Velvette asked.

"I would love to." They pushed a hairlock behind their ear.

"Another time, I was showing Y/n around and we were just on our way to doomsday district." Paris butted in again. "Besides, aren't you and the Radio Demon rivals? It's highly inappropriate for someone who has not been approved by their father to be around them."

"And I don't think a wannabe, cannibal who doesn't know his place is worthy of being seen with them." Vox retorted. "So Y/n, what do you think?"

"I would love to go shopping with you!" They turned to the other cannibal. "I'm going to hang out with them, you can either come with or leave us alone."

"But-" Before Paris could make another objection, Y/n dragged the overlord by the arm to the shopping centre.

"So what's up with hollow eyes over there?" Velvette asked as Vox and Paris were fighting about a suit or something.

"Oh yeah," Y/n's nervous laugh filled the room, "dad wanted him to come with me while going out, I've never been here before. I didn't really get a choice in the matter."

"Hmm, don't worry. I got ya!!" Velvette walked up to the bickering boys. "Hey, Paris! I saw this polo that would suit you. Come on." She winked at her colleague while pulling him away.

"I never realised Velvette's taste is stuck-up bitchass," Vox murmured.

Y/n linked their arm around the TV's. "It isn't, that's why we should make a run for it now before she gets sick of him."

The mall was giant, every corner held a store a different store. The two were looking around a souvenir store.

"How about this?" Y/n asked as they held up a keychain of a hung rat.

"That's disgusting, wh- HEY HEY!!" Vox screamed as they held the dead animal close to his face. "Stop it!"

"Fine..." Y/n took a step back. "Hey, how do your hypnosis powers work? I know you use them for your shows, but I didn't sense anything at all."

"Indirect hypnosis isn't as strong as direct. My shows only work on lowly denizens, so you have nothing to worry about in that regard." Vox looked at the snow globes decorated with death animals.

"And direct."

Vox looked away from them. "I could make you do anything I wanted but I'm not going to do that. I like you just the way you are."

His words shot straight through their heart. "Stop saying corny stuff like that." A red blush decorated their face.

"But I love your reactions, sweetie."

"Stop."

"Sweetheart."

"Vox..."

"My love~"

"VOX!" Their face was brighter than Alastor's hair. "S̴̹͎͗̈́͂̏͛̈̿͝͝T̸̡̛̼̥͓͖͂͛́̒̈́̄̀͛̏̔͒̎̌̕͝͝O̵̧̖̖͍͕͔͈͂̈́͑̅P̸̢̥̝̦͎̂̌̽ Ȉ̴̟̗̗̗̖̟̞͍̙͊͑̐̋̂̀̆̋T̵̺͉͔̮̺̩̔͌̽͊̔̍̆̿́̔̇̇͘." Their ears fell back, eyes glowed and their teeth got sharper.

Vox was stunned by this reaction, they were terrifying yes, but they were also kind of cute? Pixel hearts floated across his screen. "Wow, you're so hot."

"I, I- uhm, you're handsome too." They twirled a hairlock around their finger.

...

...

"So." Vox broke the awkward silence. "How is that phone suiting you?"

"Oh." They pulled the little device out of their pocket. "Yeah, I'm still figuring out what the apps are all about but I think I understand the chatting and goulgle." They opened their phone and showed it to him

"You still have the standard VoxTech background?" Vox asked.

"You can change it?"

"Yes." Vox grabbed their phone and posed for a selfie. Y/n, not completely understanding what's going on, copied him. "Wait," the overlord said as he was focused on their phone, "here."

He showed them their new background; a picture of the both of them smiling, Y/n looking straight into the camera and Vox glancing lovingly to them, a edited in, glowing heart surrounding the both of them.

"That's so cute!" They stared at the picture now decorating the background of their little picture device.

"I also downloaded 666+ for you along with a free account. you can watch any 666 show on there."

"Even your shows?" Their eyes sparkled.

"Of course." Vox was definitely going to download that image of them to his hard drive once he got home. "Anyway, let's leave. I don't think we're going to buy something here."

"Velvette? Where did Y/n go?" Paris asked.

"I don't know," she answered, "oh look at this shirt." She held up a striped polo.

"I promised their dad I would look after them. Oh, if the Radio Demon finds out I lost them, he's going to hate me!" The cannibal started to panic. "No, I should go to him, if I tell him in time maybe he won't kill me."

"Relax." She rolled her eyes. "Let's go find them, they couldn't have gone far. Besides what would the Radio Demon say if you left them lost and alone now?"

"Right, yeah right." Paris started searching throughout the entire shopping mall.

Vox! I can't keep distracting this guy He's dead set on finding them

We'll come Meet you at the restrooms on the Westside

"Hey! Paris, I know where they are!" She yelled at the still freaked out man.

"Right, lead the way!"

When they arrived, Vox and Y/n were already there.

Paris rushed up to them. "Y/n are you alright? You're not hurt are you? What would your father say if he knew you ran off?"

"I don't care what he would say. I'm my own person." They retorted and then turned to Velvette. "Are you hungry too? Me and Vox wanted to go get some food."

"Sure, I could use a snack."

Paris' face brightened. "I know this great restaurant close by that I just know you would love." He tried to hide his smirk when they agreed to go there.

The restaurant looked nice enough but there didn't seem many people inside. But that also meant they got a table of four immediately. The inside was decorated with abstract paintings and decorative, animal skeletons.

"I've never been in this place. It's rather nice." Vox studied a squirl skull. He couldn't understand why Paris was looking so smug. The waiter passed around the menu and left again. Even the staff was polite, what was going on? But when he opened the menu, it clicked...

It was a cannibal restaurant.

Vox was about to protest when Y/n spoke up. "Oehhh, I didn't think they had places like this outside of Cannibal Town. They even have my favourite!"

He looked over the menu again, looking for anything he could possibly stomach. There weren't any vegan options... shit. This was going to be a loooong lunch.

Velvette shot a concerned look at Vox, when the waiter came back. "Have you made a decision?"

"Yes, I'll have the legbeef, medium rare, and the lady will have the smoked heart." Paris ordered for the two of them.

"Uhm-" Vox glitched, hastily trying to make a decision. I'll have the smoked heart too." It was their favourite dish, he should've at least tried it once.

Velvette was still in utter shock that her colleague was going along with this. "I'll have the uhm... Liver bolognaise." She quickly chose the least horrible sounding dish, at least there would be a shit ton of cheese and sauce on it. The girl still couldn’t believe she was doing this and for Vox of all people!!!

The dinner went fairly well all things considered. Velvette barely touched her dish, while Vox did take a full bite and it didn't taste as bad as he'd expected, actually it tasted great! But knowing he was eating an actual demon spoiled the dish for him. Still, he finished it.

After lunch the group split up again, Paris and Y/n going back to Cannibal Town while Vox and Velvette went back to the V-tower.

Alastor had brought some of his daughters romance books to Rosie, one of them laying open on the table. He wanted to at least try to understand what got Y/n so hung up about Vox and romance.

"So, they basically get threatened and stalked by this vampire and they fall in love with him? I can't believe Y/n has been reading this nonsense." Alastor rolled his eyes and reached out for the next novel. "And this one, to get over her heartbreak, a young demoness writes heartfelt letters, confessing her love for the sinners, never intending to send them. However, when she opens her box one morning she finds all her letters gone, send out. How will she deal with the 5 denizens she accidentally confessed to? Is this supposed to be interesting, I don't get it."

"Come on, Alastor. You want to bond more with her, right? This is part of it." Rosie picked up one of the books to and reads the back. "This one doesn't seem too bad, it's about the love between two demons who look back on their living years as young champs."

"Ugh," the Radio Demon complained. "Luckily I don't need to worry about them and Vox anymore. I must say that Paris boy is quite the charming man, a perfect addition to our home, tell me how did you find him?"

"Oh, Paris is a BIG fan of yours and came to Cannibal Town in the hopes to meet you. For the last few months he has been admired by ALL the ladies in town. Dapper, charming, smart, looks, he got it all as they say, " Rosie laughed, "so when I heard your little conundrum I just knew he was going to be perfect for them."

"Yes, he would make quite the son-in-law but we'll have to see how the date went first." Alastor almost spit out his coffee when he read the backside of the next book; an older Cannibal and younger tech demon falling in love despite being from rivalling families. Was this were Y/n got the idea of falling in love with vox? "Seems like I'll have to have a talk with y/n about fiction and reality."

When Velvette and Vox got back, the last Vee was waiting on them. "Did you two go out without me? You're hurting my feelings."

"Oh, fuck off Val, we just went out for a new suit." She held up her middle finger as she left for her department.

"Oh really?" Val asked, "you went out for a new suit? And you weren't with that whore?" He held up his phone showing Sinstagram. A blurry picture of Vox and Y/n could be seen.

"Yes, I was buying a new suit Valentino, we just ran into them is all." Vox tried to keep back his blush. "Besides, what do you care?"

His colleague's answer infuriated him. "What do I care? Since you met that useless whore, you've kept me dry."

"Not everything is about sex and I highly doubt you're dry, you've got enough playthings." Vox walked towards the elevator. "You don't need me, get over it."

The elevator doors closed again, leaving Valentino all alone. "That fucking doe-eyed BITCH!! I'm going to kill them! Kill their whole fucking family!!!" He grabbed a glass from his assistant and threw it against de wall. "But I'm going to start with them..."

"It's unfortunate our date was interrupted by those two, but no matter we could always meet again," Paris spoke as the two of them were on their way back to Cannibal Town. "I am free this wee-"

"Wait!" They yelled. "This was supposed to be a date?"

"Well, yes."

"No, not happening! Listen up, I am in no way shape or form, interested in you that way!"

"Hmm, I see, what a shame." Paris put on a seemingly fake frown. "You know I was going to keep quiet about Vox and you but it seems like I'm more devoted to the Radio Demon. I wonder how he is going to react... What he'll do to that bastard... Oh well."

"What? I... Please don't tell dad!" Y/n begged.

"Hmm, how about this, I keep quiet about your little rendezvous, your affair, and you become my girlfriend."

"I... Uhmm..."

"How about this I'll give you two days to think about it." The cannibal put on an atrocious smile. "Choose wisely, or you might never see Vox ever again."

"There is my favourite demon." Alastor patted their head. "Did you have a good time, little fawn?"

"Yes, I did. It was great." Y/n smiled widely, doing their absolute best to hide their nervousness.

"That's amazing dear." Their father turned to Paris. "Thank you, I hope you will show them around some more another time."

"I would love to sir!"

Part 3

I'm an unoriginal ass. I know, I know, <3

JK here's part 3

Masterlist/request guidelines

[terxz0]

Black Mass; A Dracopia Midnight mass based fic. Prologue

Ao3 Link: Prologue // Chapter I. // Chapter II. *W.I.P* Tumblr Chapter Links: Prologue // Chapter I. // Chapter II. *W.I.P*

The Ministry was a mystery to outsiders. They practically had their little corner of the world set there. The Clergy were secretive and for a good reason. With changes in the world came the adjustments alongside it for everyone.  Celia  knew it well the moment she stepped inside the two wooden doors.  Sister Imperator  gave her a brisk smile before her lips curved downward into a neutral countenance. "I see you're adjusting quite well," Sister Imperator commented. Nameless ghouls and ghoulettes alike were already roaming at this hour. "I'm finding it amicable and interesting here,"  Celia  replied as she lifted her head to look at  Sister Imperator  properly. "Indeed." They walked side by side by the stained glass windows. Primo and Secondo acknowledged Imperator with a curt nod. The older one's dull eyes wandered over to  Celia  and then  Sister Imperator  as if to figure out what they were thinking.  Celia  looked back at him for a brief moment, giving him a friendly smile. He didn't return it nor acknowledge it. Secondo only scowled at the both of them in silence.  Terzo  padded past them with a smug look on his face; he was clearly in a good mood. Out of all the Papa's, she had to admit that he was the most flamboyant. He did have that aura of being the one to rope people in with his charisma and magnetic phrases. Some Sisters of Sin described his words being coated with honey and his voice smoother than velvet. Terzo was quite amorous when it came to the Sister's 'needs'.  Celia  kept out of it and could tell  Sister Imperator  disapproved by the glance she gave him as he walked by. She even looked irritated, but it faded away as her eyes lit up in actualization. But only for a wink. "Is the Ritual in the morning?" Celia asked in an attempt to rid the odd occurrence from her mind.  Sister Imperator  made a small 'Hm?' sound as she turned aside, "Certainly." Celia  nodded and clasped her hands together over her midsection, " Terzo  will be leading it?" "Per usual... Why do you ask?"  Imperator  questioned with a lifted brow, squinting with a speck of suspicion in her eyes.  Celia  shook her head, "Just wondering, that's all." "Don't tell me you're getting ideas." Celia  gave her an incredulous look, "I'm not going to get into that if that's what you're insinuating." "It's exactly what I'm insinuating." Celia  let out a huff of mild annoyance and continued walking. "Best to get what's on the board for today done." 

The board was the best investment in Celia's opinion. It was better than turning and asking the person next to you what was next, only to find out that what was next had been done already. Everyone took turns organizing the list, even though Sister Imperator did the majority of it. She was relieved to see they were simple yet time-consuming. The way she liked it. Clean the windows in the inner sanctuary, and make sure everything was set for the next Ritual. Celia gave all three boxes a checkmark before walking away. "Noon? Maybe I can get it done a few hours before the sun goes down. Maybe at Four..." She mumbled as she assembled the supplies she needed from a nearby closet. 

Celia started by cleaning the windows with care.The stained glass always gave this sanctuary a sense of tranquility despite the macabre work on the walls. The Grucifix hung against the pew and walls; all positioned to be across from each other. She took great care in taking them off the walls to give them a quick polish. Secondo  often let the ghouls do it, but they stopped due to him 'nagging' them about them not doing it right. Celia  shook her head as she recalled Dew's colorful choice of words regarding Secondo. 

Meanwhile, in the main hall of the Ministry,  Sister Imperator was speaking to  Papa Nihil. She was displeased with  Terzo's  progress and had no problem voicing it. Even a Grammy did not satisfy her obvious displeasure. In her opinion, it was still not enough. "Maybe if your oldest son had won something, we would have something to celebrate." Nihil  frowned at that. "We need someone new-- a Firm leader. We're going to need some new blood. Someone slighter younger, but someone who will also need your help." A loud, heavy knock came from the front door. A silhouette stood stiffly, their shadow visible from the small space underneath the door. "Ah... He's here already!" 

[editoress]

Morbius: A Novelization: Part 2

Don't worry, I've got this on lock.

*

Morbius Jones awoke on his laboratory floor, and he was definitely a vampire.

As a doctor, he was intimately familiar with the innate weirdness of the human body and the fact that certain chemicals could make it even weirder. When one doses oneself with an experimental drug in the middle of the night, one expects a certain drama in the side effects. And if one is a scientist of any kind, one writes it down and comes to a conclusion.

Pros: Morbius no longer felt sick. This was a vast improvement on the rest of his life. He felt so healthy, in fact, that he could pinball off the walls and lift his desk one-handed, which was possibly outside the realm of a normal, healthy body. Or maybe not, as he'd never had one.

Cons: Sunlight hurt. He had no pulse. His eyes were red, and red is always a bad sign. That's basic color theory.

???: His canines had grown. That could go either way. He was very hungry. The McDonald's fries and Mountain Dew left over in the mini fridge were not doing it for him.

After some consideration, Morbius decided he had turned himself into a vampire. Occam's Razor. That was what you got for being named Morbius and playing around with DNA-altering drugs. At the bottom of his notes, he wrote the word "BLOOD?" and circled it.

He had worked a lot of overtime in the past day. He decided to shield himself with an umbrella and go home. However, as soon as he emerged onto the unnamed city streets, his senses were assaulted. His sense of smell was suddenly very sharp. Unfortunately, this meant he could smell an awful lot of engine fumes and piss. But he could also smell blood. It smelled much better than cold McDonald's fries.

Instincts are supposed to be urges one starts out with, so getting a different set all at once was very disorienting. All the confusion was almost certainly why Morbius hunted, cornered, and drank the blood of three people on the way home. It was delicious. Sobbing with disgust, he put a checkmark next to "BLOOD?" on his notes.

He barricaded himself in his room as soon as he arrived home. But his father, or perhaps an uncle, came knocking on his door. "Is something wrong, Morby?" he asked.

"Don't come near me," moaned Morbius. "I'm a monster."

There was a pause. "Metaphorically?"

"No!"

Eventually, Morbius broke down and told his uncle (or kindly mentor) everything. They sat together, Morbius deep in misery, his Obi-Wan deep in thought. The old man asked, "So you're cured, but to keep surviving, you have to kill people?"

"I think so," said Morbius mournfully. "I definitely have to take blood out of them. And people need their blood. Nobody likes giving it away."

Morbius's relative was a man of solutions. "What if you took blood from bad people?"

"What?"

"Evil people who are a menace to society. It could be like paying a fine for their crimes, only with blood. Think of all the good citizens you would be protecting."

Morbius nodded slowly. "I don't think anyone would mind if petty criminals got eaten by a monster."

"Of course not!" the dunkle agreed. "This is American City. We believe in justice." He squeezed Morbius's shoulder, and with utmost, loving sincerity, said, "You're going to be alright. We'll get through this," thus signing his own death warrant.

And so began Morbius's third career as a vampire vigilante. He found that as long as he had a burglar or two every night, then he could continue to work his shifts at the hospital without issue. A news montage about these mysterious attacks was playing in every shop and salon. Morbius looked more goth than ever, which everyone agreed suited him.

No one agreed more than the ordinary yet attractive patient from his last day as a human. One night, he stopped a mugging only to find that she was the target. He dropped his venti-sized drink, who was alive but weak with blood loss. Morbius turned away from the woman, ordering, "Don't look at me!"

She gently turned him back around. She looked distantly familiar. "That's twice you've saved me," she said. "I don't think you're evil." She was the only woman in the city. Obviously, they kissed.

His schedule was so full that he completely neglected the laboratory until an urgent text from Matt Smith reminded him about it. He reacted with a thumbs up emoji and ran to meet him at full vampire speed.

"Something," Matt Smith accused perceptively, "is going on. You look like you've joined a metal band. You haven't been doing your research. I haven't seen you in days. And that cellist is playing very ominous music."

"I turned myself into a vampire and forgot to tell you," said Morbius.

"That explains everything," Matt Smith allowed. "But why? Just because vampires are incredibly cool?"

"Vampires are not incredibly cool!" cried Morbius. "I thought it was a cure to save my life, but instead I have become death's right hand, an abomination who must feed on the living!"

"But are you a healthy abomination?" asked Matt Smith.

"I think so," Morbius admitted.

Matt Smith smiled boyishly, as he was wont to do. "Sounds good to me."

"It's not worth it," Morbius warned him. "I'm a monster who hurts people to sustain his own life."

"I think I would do lots of crimes to stop coughing and fainting," Matt Smith mused. "But since it bothers you, how have you been staying alive?"

"If I must be a monster, then I will eat bad people," Morbius explained. "Like criminals who are mean to cops."

"And I," said Matt Smith, "will eat the cops."

Even the cellist was aghast. Morbius gaped at his friend. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm going to become a vampire, too," Matt Smith said calmly. He held up the drug in question and shook it. "Maybe even double the dose to Dracula levels. And then I'll take the funding anyway and be a rich Dracula."

"No!" cried Morbius.

"Yes," said Matt Smith, and since he was holding the syringe full of vampiric concoction, he won the argument.