#i dont even browse all my group chats. i consistently see almost everything in Ganja-tai and Rats Libe

[burinazar]

random glum thought one way my depression has been creating an exacerbating feedback loop of isolation lately is that I’m not good at maintaining my one on one convos, something I’m not great at to begin with (i think actually not just depression but the Other Neuron Divergences make this very hard.) pretty much the only one on one convos with irls where I’m the more responsive party are ones where the other person is even worse at this than I am so my responses appear timely by default

which has contributed to the situation where the people I feel “in touch” with are ones who post in group chats I browse since doing so (browsing) is a fairly passive action I can maintain regularly. and there are plenty of people I’d like to keep up with that aren’t necessarily inclined to join or participate in such a thing. the people i wish to be in touch with are not a circle perfectly overlapping the ones i am in touch with, the latter group is just ‘the ones most likely to chat online in a place i can see’ because reading that is all i can do to keep up with ppl lately