#i dont exist to people when im not infront of them and...idk i have to be okay with that because im never anything more

[dreadfuldevotee]

i am just...so profoundly tired of being me

[mittenscatgod]

hey is there any particular Qi story you wish existed but can't/don't want to write for some reason. Asking for a friend

yeah im always thinking about his friendship with mint and his relationship with his parents. depending on how long my fic gets through the 'story' of the assistant and qi that exists in my head (my barely uncontained lust) they might wind up meeting qis parents and grandfather but as a person hes very focused on the present moment and doesnt like talking much about himself which leads to questions about his upbringing.

he describes himself as a child as 'aloof' (which i think is jsut qi code for being a normal kid not focused on scientific achievement) and we see him smiling in his pictures. it seems like he's had a pretty positive upbringing with two parents who really love eachother, but he sort of... talks down to them? sometimes in a way thats almost classist (he refers to his parents work area [or their home? idk] as a 'fishing-shack') and rude (criticizing their enjoyment of their profession in a way he doesnt understand or "unoptimized") and its like. the way he talks about his grandfather and the way he talks about his parents are very different. Mint never brings up his mom and dad, but brings up his grandpa. so, like, whats going on there? were his parents absent a lot on fishing trips?

chances are he has a good relationship with his parents. hes canonically confirmed to write them AT LEAST about events important to his life (he mentions telling them when he starts dating you, his 3.14%) so it doesnt seem unhealthy. and he is generally pretty tone deaf and i dont really think hes fully cognizant of the nuances of him talking down on his parents. i doubt its one of active resentment but like dude its so unsexy of you the way you talk about your mom and dad im bone dry over here

i think about qi and mint reflecting on their shared childhood semi frequently as suggested by some of their reflections on it in fwb:mwrm. qi goes through a lot of changes through his canonical 'character arc' and he starts putting more effort into his social responsibilities and it makes me wonder like...

-Mint is very family oriented in portia, having had none growing up in the orphanage and craving the opportunity to start one, where as qi seems to be pretty flippant about his up until he gets married and has a family of his own. does that ever create any difficulties between them? Would Qi talk about his parents the same way infront of mint?

-When do you think Qi really changed his mindset from aloofness to his now very progress oriented track of mind? did it impact their relationship at all?

-Mint and Qi both confirm that they remember the old creations they made together. how does seeing qi realize some of what they'd discussed change their relationship?

i like their friendship. i see them like distant siblings i guess. i can't see myself writing anything devoted to it outside of fwb but i feel like qi has a lot of intricacies that people dont pay attention to. his relationship with mint is clearly very important to him even if he has an ...interesting way of showing it (mint breaks his equipment and he's barely mad, bronco touches his equipment and he'll 'never forgive him') and thus the builders/his partners relationship with mint is probably also pretty important. and mints relationship with his kid if he ever has one ('uncle mint' is a VERY cute idea).

i also love the idea of him going to a festival with the builder. any of them. ohhhhh i just know he'd fucking love winning at the prophunt one

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[angel-nero]

11 questions...

I was tagged by @pureren @zaevran @glaspaladin @z-ayauitl and @kcgane ty so much !!! ♥

RULES: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

my questions…

1. what’s the worst piece of clothing you own?

2. what’s the coolest piece of uh fashion that is so cool you can’t even wear to go out? lol

3.- what book have you read that you feel it has been the worst?

4.- What’s the healthiest meal you actually like?

5.- do you love keith kogane? (or vld keith lmfao what u prefer to use)

6.- something paranormal ever happened to you? if yea, what?

7.- do you get jealous easily? with who? (friends, popular ppl, talented ppl, the s/m)

8.- what’s the cutest thing you own?

9.- what are your favorite crisps?

10.- do you have a favourite drink?

11.- can you tell im hungry? what hobby you wish you liked or wish you did?

i tag: @kukinta​ @kittyr0se​ @heirith​ @liesfromsatansbuttcheeks​ @sheith-love-always​ @acequeenm​ @blessedkeith​ @lukaspatel​ @ke1th​ @ace-pidge​ @keith8​ but only if you want to!

TESSA’SS AND!! TAMI’S QUESTIONS1!!!

1.  Do you connect with people easily?

mmm, I don’t becos im a very quiet person and can be w u w/o talking at all and I get overwhelmed by convos I don’t care about also it’s kinda hard to win my trust and also interest lol. I’m nice tho, i mite not be enjoying myself but i’ll forev b nice w u.  

2. Did something good happen to you this week?

uH yeah, i’m doing things to improve my health, i did my uni exam, im frEE, i finally don’t have to go to rEliGIoUs classes aNYMORE and UH,,, i got a diet to win weight and its cool i get to eat ESQUITE LMFAO. i will see my bffs in friday and i have browney mix there i should bake but im lazy

3. What’s the personality trait that annoys you most in other people?

When people pretend to like something just 2 b friends w someone or ME, do you know we can be total dif and maybe still b friends if u cOOL. Ass kissers, hypocrisy, LIES LOL. I don’t like fake ppl at all.

4. If you could participate in any existing tv reality show, which one would you choose?

The ones where they change ur style and buy clothes for u 2 love urself and do ur hair and make up and buy u xpensive undies. I loved that crap when i was in secondary school lmao

5. What’s something you’re insecure about?

That I can’t be in one place without wanting tofuckin run, the fact that i can’t eat w ppl at all, that i have to go to the fucken gYM

6. What’s your favourite way to hang out with friends?

:’)) well,,, i go to my bff’s house or they come. If im fine then walk around my neighborhood cus it’s nice ahaha anxiety am i rite. oKAY, even if i get anxiety i like ice skating, or roller skating, i have a lot of fun. My friend want us to go to this pixies concert and im like :(( boo i love u

7. What’s your favourite fic trope?

lol idk,,,,, pining? mutual pining? no pining and they getting to know therngs im melttin sTOP idk…… it depends on whAT shIP. I just know i’ll read any fake dating of my otp. idk idk duuuude i legit don kno. It’s not a trope but i love crunchy feelings, showefjsid fksjnj its hard to talk about this im sOrry

8. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve liked in the past?

hahahahahaha my crush

9. What do you consider to be the best period of your life?

When I was 14. I went to parties more than i go to them now lol, i drank and smokkd w who where my best friends back theN i know it’s whack. we used to go to roller skate? all the damn time and did sleepovers and everything was funny, we practically lived together and my friend that was 16 drove us to places lmao,, everything was so good. but like, dont imagine me too wild i only smokd like 5 cigs in my life and hookah and we even broke one.

10. What do you consider to be the worst period of your life?

mpghgg, when i turned 15,,, in the middle of it everythin went to shit to the actual date. But im trying to change that

11. How did you meet your best friend?

I met her,,,, 11 years ago. Look, I usually have best friends in pack. I have 3 bffs at the moment, one of them sat next to me in 2nd year of primary school. IDK how i got to actually know my absolute bff tho but we did a lot of weird shit. we also met in the same classroom and she was my bff back then. The third one was also a frind but not so much during those years. Later i changed of classrooms and shit and bonded more when I was 14 w 6 friends and those r i did crazy shit w but we got separated and stopped talkin and they invited me to the club a week before my uni exam but i was high on meds and sick af. and never replied also going to meet em again at the club makes me nervous af tbH…. I have had a lot of super close friends in my life wTf. In my new school i have also 7 friends that r super close.And we’re also a pack of bffs. I actually had a hard time to use the word bestfriend lol, not bc of me havin a lot or anythin, i was just emo i guess

BEX’S QUESTIONS YOo

1. What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever been given?

:))))))))))))))))))))))))) gabhole, gabaloney, TETI THAT SOUNDS LIKE TITTY. now ft Aztec secret 

2. Do you like to gossip?

UMMMMMM,, i dont like to listen to another ppl judging someone, I hate it and i normally tell them to stop. it depends i guess

3. Are you afraid of the dark? um,,, no but i dont like it lol

4.Have you ever been stung by a bee?

no, but i steppeddd on one. I also was pickin a tree and till this day i dont knoW wTF it was but i had something big in my middle finger and it fucken hurt like a bitch and i had A BALL on it UGHHHHH I HATE BUGS

Bigfoot or mothman? fucking none

Do you trust anyone with your life? i mean, idk

Do you have any habits you wish you could break? yEAH, to stop tweeting my mental breakdowns is one lmao. 

Would you go ghost/alien hunting? 

both tbh, who wants to break into abandoned houses w me, i live in front of one,,, i mean not so infront but in the row of houses infront of me lmao english whO? dude rosetta stoned by tool is my aesthetic, alien stuff. bex listen to it pls

Best pickup line? (you’ve heard or used on you/you’ve used)

u r the best chair *proceeds to sit on em* keith to shiro probably

Mint or fruit gum?

I dont like gum much cos it makes me hungry or thirsty. I also drink too much soda to fuck w mint stuff :(( say that to the mints i bought lol :( i only eat halls or gum bc im nerves w ppl so they stopped bein a thing i enjoy for me lol. i do that since im like,,, uh,,, idK 15. it fuckd my stomach

What do you want to be remembered for?

I mean if I have to pick and b unrealistic, for art maybe,,, or for the thing i end up working with, like architecture or somethin. Art, def art cus i like art so much

ZURI’S QUESTIONS!!!

1.-if you had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? 

I MEAN THIS QUESTION IS THE DEVIL I GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING TO THE POINT I DONT WNAN EAT ANYTHING I WILL JUST IGNORE IT SSAYS ONE AND SAY MEXICAN FOOD

2.- what are you most afraid of? Mental illnes and being ill and living 

3.- do you have a favorite place to visit?

I mean,,,, i love walking in the center? centre? of my city bc is like going to another place. Is also fucking Cuba in there. Everyone says that, my dad asked a cuban marine he met if it was true and he said it was ‘’ the fackin same’’ So its like,,, travelling in time and places. also the beach and the port.

4.- what type of weather you enjoy the most?

I need the sun, otherwise i get sad… i like cloudy w sun. I just like to go out in the afternoon tho lol so like,,, sun pls so the sky can turn pinkish

5.- do you have a rare ability like dislocating your thumb or moving your eyes really fast?

i move my tongue real real fast and also can do the cherry knot thing and uh i can like, be aberrantly stupid too. hey but dont fuk w me and bother me 4 bein stupid, i will fist fite u and i mite b stupid but i will also mite think u r stupid if i don like u so fuk off. Dam,,, i get like, bothered so easy LOL like, think u r better than me and i’ll fist fite u LMFAO WHY THO I SUK, but like, if not bothered, i think of everyone as my equal… wow this was not the question

6.- do you think it would be easier to create one universal lenguage or an accurate translator? nO… dont delete culture like that,,, an accurate translator mite come in handy u kno but like, some languages have words that don’t exist in others so like :-/

7.- is there something that soothes you no matter what? um no i wish

8.- favorite piece of clothing? boots and thights

9.- is there a song stuck in your head right now? YEAH dig down by muse i love it, every1 says it sUCLks but i can’t stop listenin to it

10.- why is your favorite animal your favorite animal? i don play favs but i love the honey badger bc of this pleas fuckin watch it and THIS

11.- morning person or late riser? Oh,, i cant wake up to save my life so late riser

SUNNY’S QUESTIONS!!!

1. do you have any plushies? a LOT but im like,,, they r in my wardrobe and i luv em but like,,, they’re all gifts,,, did u kno one of my past bffs bought me a dino for christmas?

2. have you ever walked out the cinema before? 

Yeah, i love drive’s aesthetic and Ryan gosling a lot but is SO boring so idk if my friends and I got kicked out or we prefered to get out to talk haha. 

3. if you could have a mascot what would it be and why?

A CHINCHILLA, they’re a irl pokemon and they r so cUTE

4. what would your theme song be? kool thing, sonic youth maybe or is she weird by pixies. All Over the world by pixies too lol

5. do you have any phrases or sayings you find yourself coming back to often? not really, im so bad at remembering sayings and quotes

6what’s the nearest object to your right? a book called azul by ruben dario

7. would you rather live in the big city or out in the middle of nature? 

Big city forever. I love high? buildings a lot. I dont do that well in the rural life lmao 

8. are you working on any creative projects right now (fic/art/music/photography/ect) Nope at all and das sad cus i should b doing art lmao

9. what’s your favourite movie score? idk what is score… but the soundtrack of trainspotting is one of my favs… oh but score… aghgsdhaj any tarantino movie tbh or wes anderson movie… or before I disappear or demolition oR southpaw or the girl w the dragon tattoo

10. i say vol you say….? uuhhhhh,,,,,  vol….tron??? (ICONIC, I MELT, I LVOE HIM)

[ewemilytabone]

All 70horrible questions

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? i honestly have no idea, i dont say i love people very often, tbh it was probably a dog or a fictional charater03: Do you regret anything? existing? 04: Are you insecure? yep05: What is your relationship status? single af06: How do you want to die? a quick death07: What did you last eat? a really rad halloumi roll from the markets08: Played any sports? i used to do gymnastics and dance and i plan to tale dance up again next year09: Do you bite your nails? a little 10: When was your last physical fight? does play fighting with my brothers count? if so then last night 11: Do you like someone? not at the moment12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? haha nope13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? eh a little bit14: Do you miss someone? yeah 15: Have any pets? two dogs, they are beautiful and i love them a lot16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? a mix between a deep sigh and just feeling irritated by small things17: Ever made out in the bathroom? haha nope18: Are you scared of spiders? nope19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? if it meant i could join dc's legends of tomorrow then absolutely 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? i dont think ive ever made out with someone tbh21: What are your plans for this weekend? finishing watching gotham22: Do you want to have kids? How many? maybe like two? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? just my ears, i want more but im a scared little bean24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? maths, film and drama25: Do you miss anyone from your past? so many26: What are you craving right now? affection and physical intimacy 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? probs28: Have you ever been cheated on? depends on your definition of cheat, he was flirting with her when we were together and they got together pretty much straight after he broke up with me but idk if they did anything until he broke up with me29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? idk30: What’s irritating you right now? customers31: Does somebody love you? platonically yea, romantically nope32: What is your favourite color? purple33: Do you have trust issues? haha yep34: Who/what was your last dream about? i cant remember my dreams 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? i cry infront of like everyone so its hard to say36: Do you give out second chances too easily? oh boy yes i do37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive38: Is this year the best year of your life? its yr twelve, ill be flat out if i dont die39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 11?40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? nope51: Favourite food? idk man i really like food52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? eh, yes and no, idk53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched 'bill nye saves the world'54: Is cheating ever okay? nope55: Are you mean? occasionally 56: How many people have you fist fought? no one57: Do you believe in true love? yeah58: Favourite weather? when the suns out but its not blarring59: Do you like the snow? ive seen it like once and bruised my hand so eh, i like the idea of snow more than actual snow60: Do you wanna get married? yeah 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? depends62: What makes you happy? a lot of things, mostly my friends and tv shows63: Would you change your name? maybe but i dont know what to64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? i cant even remember the last person i kissed, so probably65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him im gay66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yep67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? cody68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? man idk my friends and i just speak in memes69: Do you believe in soulmates? eh kinda, i want to70: Is there anyone you would die for? yep

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

Marx Mem

Aighty this is long and it gets a bit dark I guess? Idk its a panic attack mem so.. Warned ig

After a really bad day at the news station (Katie and other various bosses being total fucking dicks. Writing 3 whole news reports in a single day AND Having to take care of food stuffs for the day cause our intern fucking d ied or something) I stumbled home fucking exhausted.

Pretty much the moment I get inside my apartment bastard speaks up "I can't believe you're tired. You barely did anything today."

I tilt my head back and forth and in a mocking tone I talk back "oh sure writing three full length news stories in a single day while making sure the staff is fed and keeping Katie off my damn back is nothing. Su r e"

I pull my gloves off, untie my bowtie and pull off my jacket as I head to the bathroom. Just wanna shower and pass the fuck out, I don't care that it's like 5pm, I deserve a damn nap. I realize I'm far to exausted to stay awake for an entire shower so I just opt for cleaning my face and hoping I dont just conk out on my bathroom floor.

I stand infront of the sink and just space out staring at the faucet for at least a minute. When I snap back to reality I look to my mirror- Surprised to see my actual reflection for a moment before bastard pops up. "Katie was right you know. You're such a slacker~ And you don't write nearly enough stories for her! The head anchor. Sure Tom is nicer to you but he shouldn't be doing the most talking! Keep the camera on Katie, Marx!! You're a man of taste, you know that everyone just tunes in for Katies chest- Hell thats why you tune in. 'Course you already know everything she's gonna say. Unless she throws your script away, like she really should every time cause you write utter filth. I'm surprised she even tries to read the mess you give her each day."

I honestly just stare tiredly into the mirror as he goes on and on, nodding occasionally cause I'm tired enough to believe him. His words blur out at this point and I manage to splash my face with water before tiredly making the stupidest comment I could possibly make while bastard is really active, "God I wish Angel and Bee were here-"

And bastard laughs at me. "Now why could you possibly want that???"

"Oh I dunno maybe it's cause I'm exhausted and curling up with my hoard seems really fucking nice, you pathetic piece of shit."

"Ah yeah I'm the 'piece of shit' have ya seen yourself lately?"

"Oh I'd love to but you seem to always take my reflections place."

"Oh wow Marxy has a bite now, huh?"

I glare into the mirror "Don't call me that."

"Why? Cause your precious little Angel gave it to ya? C'mon Marxy lighten up, it's not like I'm real."

I roll my eyes. Again with the "not real" thing, huh? Okay yeah sure. "Yeah, them being here would be great... I'd love to ignore you for the night." I turn from the mirror, ready to go sleep but-

He seems to not like when I want to ignore him... Cause- well thats when he brings out the big guns "What makes you think they want to be here?"

I freeze... He usually doesn't get to me like this... But ya know- I'm exhausted.. And hearing that one sentence makes my mind swarm with all the things Angel and Bee could be saying about me- about how much they could hate me... I can't shake it away with logic cause it practically doesnt exist in this moment. I turn back to the mirror. "I- I don't-"

"Exactly. There's no reason for either of them to want to be around you."

"Y- yeah-" I nod slowly and lean against the wall, glancing at the mirror for a moment before looking to the floor.

"I mean, just look at you! You're pathetic!"

I listen and look back to the mirror, my reflection is back. My eye bags are huge, my hairs a mess (more so than usual), he's right. I look pathetic... Of course I do. I always do... I slide down the wall, mostly due to my legs being to tired to hold me up, but also cause it's where I belong. The floor is the proper home for someone who looks like such trash.

"Do you really think they care about you? Oh sure Angel's stopped taking blood but who's to say thats his choice? He probably stopped cause Charlies buckling down on his drug problems~ If thats the case, then why would he bother to still have sex with you? Maybe you've somehow convinced him you're the only one he should be with? How cruel... Why should you hold him back? Why even bother talking to him when you're so controlling and possessive??"

I bring my knees closer to my chest, instinctively curling up to try and block him out. I try to mumble a stop but only manage a small squeak. I feel my claws digging into my arms but dont do anything to stop it.

"Oh and Dont even get me started on Bee! You're clearly manipulating him too! Why else would he call you "boss"? Why else would he do nearly anything you ask of him? Oh sure he could easily take you down if he found a problem with you, but what if you're all he has? He puts up with your constant abuse because he thinks he can't get anyone else? Do you really think he wants to put up with you? That either of them do?"

I shake my head. I dont know if I'm answering him if trying to refuse it.

"Just look at what happened with Baxter. How long until you somehow corrupt them aswell?"

"B-"

"Pfft- Surely you didnt think Baxters actions were his own?? My my, Marx I knew you were stupid but I didnt realize it was that bad. You obviously made Baxter feel inferior, even you knew that. But you never dealt with it. You let it fester and grow. I bet you just loved watching Baxter hate himself all because of you? Don't try to deny me, Marxy. I know it all, its so incredibly obvious I'm surprised nobodies figured it out yet... Then again, if you cant even figure this out about yourself, then maybe your friends have the intelligence of rocks!"

Now I feel a few tears run down my cheeks and go to wipe them- But.. Well I suppose I've broken skin on my arms cause I just smear blood on my face.

"Oh nice job you fucking idiot. What are people gonna say when they see those scars? They'll think you're some kind of edgy teenager. Then again- you might aswell be. Constantly wanting the attention of others."

I shake my head harder, hands moving from my arms to my head "n-no... It- it was an accident-"

"Awe... But that doesn't matter Marx! The point is that you did it in the first place!"

I whimper and shake- pulling my hair hard enough that I feel I should be pulling out hairs.

I hear the faintest door in the distance- due to how muffled it sounds I assume it's a neighbors door...

Bastard.. Thankfully quiets down for a moment- I manage to move my hands back to my arms- I can't loosen their grip... But scraped up arms are easier to deal with than a scraped up head.

Then Angel comes in- "Ma- Oh my god- Bee! Bee I found him-!" Angel crouches down beside me and very carefully grabs my hands, and pulls them from my arms. "Marx wh- What happened?"

I hear bastard laugh from the mirror "You can't tell him. He won't believe you."

"I-"

Bee comes in- Fast. "Boss?!" I assume Angels tone must've scared him- and well. He scares me- I jump, grabbing my arms again and my wings pop up.

Angel grumbles "Damnit- Bee ya scared 'im-"

I scoot away before Angel can try to pry my hands free again-

"Mar-?"

"N-no no- you're- You're not supposed to be here-"

Bee crouches down by Angel, "Boss what're ya talkin 'bout?"

"Oh you're finally pushing them away now?" I glance at the mirror- bastard is just eating this up.

My hands get tighter as my eyes dart back to Angel and Bee. I stare like a deer in headlights- expecting them to.. I dont know- do.. Something...

Angel turns to Bee "Bee see if you can find some bandages- I'll... Try and calm him back down..."

Bee nods, gives me a sad/worried look then gets up and leaves the room. Angel shuffles over to me, and I instinctively push myself farther into the corner.

"Marx I'm not gonna hurt you- it's alright..."

"He's talking to you like youre an animal. He sees you as dangerous. He has every right to. You could attack at any moment."

"Sh- s hut up-"

Angel tilts his head "Wh-?"

"Awe look how cute, he thinks you're talking to him."

"Shut up"

"Mar-" He looks concerned... Possibly scared..

"You're scaring him~ Of course you are... You probably scare him often.."

I shoot up, yelling toward the mirror "I said shUT UP!!!" I hear a loud thud and suddenly my hand hurts- I punched my wall...

Theres a small crash in the kitchen and Bee comes running in, holding a roll of bandages- I look down to Angel- And yeah.. He looks scared- So does Bee- I drop my hand from the wall and back away the few inches I can without stumbling into my bath-

"C-can't... Can't you hear it" I try not to physically cringe at how... Pathetic I sound

I hear bastard laugh, and Bee and Angel exchange a confused look.

"Hear... What, Boss?"

"I- it. The voice. I- I can't- I can't be the only one-" One hand goes back to my hair.

"Oh you sad, sad man..."

Angel gets up and comes over to me- Grabbing the hand in my hair and pulling it down before I can start pulling. "Marxy.... Hun- Are you alright...?" He lowers me onto the side of the tub.

I stare at the floor, squinting slightly "I-... I don't???"

Angel gestures at Bee, he steps over, handing Angel the bandage roll then sitting next to me. He puts a hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"Let me see your arms, Marxy-"

With the extra exhaustion from the panic attack I just tiredly listen to him, flopping my arms on my lap- my wings vanishing. Angel starts wrapping them up. I feel myself yawn, and I lean on Bee, he moves from rubbing my back to putting his two arms on that side around me. I feel myself starting to doze off- but I'm still jumping awake each time.

When Angel finishes wrapping my arms, he picks me up and heads for the bed. I glare at the bandages, My tired dragon brain doesn't like them... So I bite at them- Or at least I try but Angel baps my nose. "Don't you even try, Mister."

I tiredly whine and grumble, flopping into Angels chest. "B u t.... I dont-"

"I dont care if ya don't like 'em, you need to heal and bitin your bandages aint gonna help."

Angel sets me down on the bed and I pbbthh at him. Him and Bee climb in on either side of me and I yawn again.

"Sounds like ya need to sleep, Boss-"

"Mmrmm..." I roll over and face Bee, "No shit... Katie n the others worked me like a dog t'day..." I shove my face into the Matress

"Don't they overwork you every day?"

"Ye s it was just worse this time"

I feel Bee pat my back a few times, and Angel cuddles up to my side and starts talkin, "Well we wanted to go to the bar- But a nap sounds pretty nice instead..."

Bee hums in agreement- he doesn't lay down though... Just stays sitting next to me and keeps a hand on my back.

There's a few moments of silence, but I eventually pass out.