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#i dont get paid but you know what i gain?nothing. im just insane
perfectpickles · 7 years
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a long yikes
im used to putting my complaints on tumblr bc i only have like 2 followers so its just a rant space for me so there’s no need to read this
everything sucks some serious ass right now like what i’m like lowkey highkey depressed and ???
-i currently have the worst grades i’ve ever had before in my whole ass life like i literally have a d in english because i... forgot?? to do an assignment i literally forgot it existed and i was absent a bunch and i checked my grades a couple days ago and saw the zero for a 30pt assignment and just holy shit omfg. i’m planning to do it tonight and bring it to my teacher tomorrow but he’s like my worst most douche-y teacher atm and he really doesn’t like me i think im gonna write a mini speech and admit i have no real excuse and just turn it in and hope for the best at least so he knows im not blowing off the assignment
-i need/want straight semester As so i need at least Bs this quarter in everything but just omfg so many Ls i’ve screwed up so much lately i really don’t need english to be biting me like this i’ve always been an a student in english
-i used to be a straight a student but if i can’t pull my shit together effective immediately all i’m gonna be showing colleges is a sudden downward trend 
-i used to be really really popular but one of my best friends cut me off like a month ago. she said its bc im too negative but i kinda call bs because i didnt talk any more shit or complain any more than the rest of our friend group so i dont really know what’s going on there but one of my other best friends has basically drifted away from us to senior friends so i’m left with one of my besties but i used to have this whole clique and we were so close. it hurts because i feel so alone. there are only two friends of mine who i really trust atm except for some who are in college and far away so i kinda just drift through the day feeling lonely and like a loser because everyone hates me. i don’t know what i’ve done exactly but i used to have so many friends and now i have two and i have no classes with one and only one with the other and he’s a senior so when he graduates im left with basically nothing. i want my besties back but i dont think thats ever gonna happen at least not with the one who cut me off. i’m scheming to get them back but a huge part of me wants to give up because i don’t have the energy for much lately and another part of me thinks it’s over for good. i can hear people gossiping about me all the time and i know so many people hate me and it just sucks because i don’t know what i’ve done wrong. and if it’s that i’m too negative i’ve actually changed a lot in that regard lately but no one cares or has paid any attention because i’m almost completely alone.
-i’ve taken on too many activities and i know that but it’s too late to pull out of anything and i need all of them. but i’m so busy and i am really having trouble balancing 
-my dad’s been staying with us for just a couple weeks even though my mom’s gonna file for divorce soon its just really annoying because he keeps trying to bond with me but like dude you’re a huge asshole and you keep proving that every time your facade slips and also you almost killed me and my family only a few months ago?? why can’t he understand how little i want to spend time with him?
-i’m currently pulling an all nighter because i procrastinate too much and i’m so behind in like every class and it is unfortunate because i’m already tired and it’s only 1
-my boyfriend of eight months and i broke up last week and it’s definitely for the best like we sucked at long distance and it was a mutual decision but i realized that because everyone hates me and i’m too exhausted and depressed to put any effort into my physical appearance and health i’m basically gonna be celibate until i graduate and that is really gonna suck because since im not getting invited to any parties lately i have no chance at hooking up with anyone and the physicality of all that was a big destressor for me 
-not only am i too depressed to get anything done, i keep falling asleep randomly and accidentally and im not showering nearly as much as i should be and i need to do laundry but keep forgetting so basically all my personal hygiene is shit. i’ve been biting my nails out of anxiety again for the first time since seventh grade and i hate that because i loved my long nails. everything is unkempt and i feel gross and im just too sad and lethargic to take care of myself which is not great
-i tried to talk to my school counselor about this and now she thinks im a basket case and wants to see me weekly bc im one of those troubled family kids that make school counselors feel like they accomplish anything other than scheduling but i don’t trust her anymore and i kinda hate going
-mads drama has erupted and i would say it’s really not my fault at all for once but everyone hates me like the choral director hates me and some of the kids have been talking shit about me with her which sucks but i feel popular in that class like several people have been backing me up but my trust issues are hugely erupting at this point and i don’t trust any of my mads friends and im constantly on edge and anxious and uncomfortable in that class like i used to love arrogantly feeling like one of the best but people are jealous and are really fucking things over for me bc of it and that just really really sucks
-i gained back the 10-15 lb i lost because i’ve been eating my feelings hardcore
-i don’t know what to do to fix my grades they’re just getting worse and worse as i get more and more behind and it’s unfortunate
-in the past i’ve always had friends to turn to. things have been bad or messy but i’ve never felt lonely like this before. im too extroverted to drift through my days the way i do in a haze of nausea anxiety paranoia and exclusion. it’s driving me insane but also just generally making me sadder and quieter and a shell of myself as the days pass.
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onlyjihoons · 7 years
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college! minhyung
a/n; inspired by a series of unfortunate events that happened to yours truly, and it’s my first time writing a college au so please enjoy:’)
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major: music and audio tech
mark really liked music and making music so when he heard there was a course for it he immediately signed himself up for that
and he’s in the school’s dance club,, a very underrated dancer
tbh he partially got in because of his looks
also an underrated visual in nct
but mostly because this boy got those sick moves and he does music too?? yes please
i’m not saying that he’s the campus hottie but that’s exactly what i’m saying
but he’s really low-key and just wants to pursue his passion in music
and do well
you and mark met through this thing where you get admitted early into a course you like
you,, chose communications and media management or mass communications, as you would like to call it(i shall refer it to cmm)
and mark was there for the early admission exercise too because he had it as a backup if he couldn’t get into music and audio tech
at first the whole room was super tense because,, cmm is fiercely competitive
and you needed more than just language to get through this whole thing
when you arrived, you took a seat at the back because,, isn’t that what students do
and then mark came into the room like a really awkward bean
literally bows to everyone while saying excuse me
and he takes his seat beside you(!!)
you were lowkey screaming because,, why would someone as hot as mark sit beside you,, an average girl who just wants to get into the damn course
and your school didn’t had guys like that
let’s take a moment to imagine mark in casual clothes, like that red lacoste polo tee and ripped jeans and black vans and a kanken?? did that made your heart race? because it made my heart do just that
ya’ll know exactly which pic im referring to
so you decided not to be a chicken and make friends w him
“i’m really nervous,, i’ve yet to internalize my script for the screen test later”
“same,, i’m more worried for the written test tbh” with that shy smile of his
ok b4 we move on there are 3 components of your early admission exercise thing
1. written test 2. screen test 3. interview
and basically you have to go through all of that lmao
ok let’s get back to the story
“i’m sure you’ll do well, uhm..”
“mark”
“mark, yep”
“and you’re?”
“y/n”
“that’s a pretty name ^^”
you swore your heart dropped
fast forward to the interview, you and mark were in the same group
and the damn lecturers had their radar on you bc wow reader you’re a catch
“so y/n, we saw that you write fiction in your portfolio, right?”
you broke into a sweat bc they ain’t gonna reveal that you write fanfictions in front of mark
“yeah i do”
“so could you please come up with a plot and characters for a current affair you know?”
you were pretty shook because fanfic ideas only hit you when it’s the right time(ff writers do you feel me)
so you were stuttering,
“i lost my childhood friend in a tsunami??”
and the lecturers literally cracked up at your idea
but they couldn’t blame you though, its hard to come up with an answer on the spot
at the end of the interview, mark was also lowkey cracking up
“omg i can’t believe you said that y/n, but i gotta admit it was pretty creative”
“i know right, why did i say that…” 
“i thought it was really creative and different though, i liked it”
there goes your heart
fastforward to the beginning of the school term
mark and you exchanged numbers on that day and when you guys received the results of the posting he wasn’t in cmm but music and audio tech
tbh you were rlly happy for him bc you guys were convenient friends from that day on and he was so excited and passionate about making music its just so so heartwarming
and well, the first assignment the lecturer gave was about a collaboration?? article
it can be between any student as long as its a different major
and it applies to every student on campus gdi
so the first person that came to your mind was mark
so after your lecture you ran straight to the block mark’s lecture hall was at
and as soon his lecture ended you ran up to mark who was busy chatting with his newfound friends
“mark! did you get the collaboration assignment?”
“yeah i did, why?”
“c-can i collab with you?”
and all his friends were all stunned like,, why is this girl suddenly coming up to mark to collab
“s-sure, why not?” with the mark giggle, you know what i’m talking about
“good, i’ll see you soon then,” you winked, leaving mark dumbstruck
and when you left your heart was leaping out of your chest and you mentally slapped yourself for winking at mark
anyhow, you and mark would meet up every other day to work on the assignment, with mark as your protagonist of your article
and mark makes a music piece, as you take part in producing the music piece
but the song is actually about you!!
basically mark talks about what he learns in the course, like making music and stuff
he also plays the guitar which is a plus
whilst you guys were collabing
mark gained attention for his insanely good looks, which he often denied and pushes the campus hottie title to taeyong,, his senior
and also his music making and lyric writing talent
have you seen his rap freestyle in snowball project??? like how did you even mark lee 
and you gained attention for your writing, one of the top cmm students in school with a bright personality and media sense
and rumour goes around the campus that the best students of both majors are collabing and are already scoring those As lmao
that rumour was true and everyone was looking forward to the finished products of the geniuses of the school
while you two were collabing you two got to know more about each other
and you know,, you,, like,, like,, each other its so cute 
you two keep sending signals to one another
for mark its adding smileys to his texts and a few hearts and like holding the door when you enter the recording studio and all those gentlemanly stuff ugh so sweet
for you,, its just more affection and skinship and playful slaps on the shoulder
the rest of the school; “pLEASE DATE ALREADY”
both of your friends literally could sense those signals but the both of you couldn’t
so on the last day of doing the assignment you and mark would show each other’s completed assignment
you showed mark your article of him, alongside with a candid picture of him working on the music you took secretly
“omg y/n,, this is so good, thank you so much”
“you’re welcome mark,, it’s nothing,, really”
and mark showed you his finished music piece and you were so proud of him because the song actually sounded legit and not by a college student
after the music ended, mark looked at you seriously and started fiddling with his hands
“you know,, y/n,, i’ve been wanting to tell you this in the longest time…”
“what is it?”
“that,, i really like you,, since the d-day we met, i really like how you are so passionate about writing and stuff… and how pretty you are and…”
“i like you too, mark, i really really like you”
and the you two hug and boom youre dating aAAAA so cute
dating college!mark would be the softest thing ever
he would memorise your favourite drink and buy it for you every morning without fail
you reckon mark would be broke by the end of the year from buying your favourite white chocolate mocha from starbucks every morning lol
and wait outside the girls’ dorm for you
and the main point is he looks good while waiting for you that sometimes you come down a lil later to just take candid pics of him waiting for you LOL
if mark’s lectures end earlier than yours, he would wait for you outside your lecture room like omg sweetest boyfriend ever
basically you guys are like inseperable
but he’s a lil shy with the pda during the first steps of the r/s so expect loads of blushy mark
but when he’s warmed up to it he’s like the clingiest baby ever
he does give you space tho,, which youre thankful for
and when he stays up too late to do his music assignment you would creep into the studio to bring him some snacks and coffee
and make sure he gets sleep because this boy can’t be stopped unless youre around
you joined the dance club soon after he joined an like you two are the literal power couple with the visuals and talents just,,, debut together please
when ya’ll did 1million dance studio’s All I Wanna Do choreography iT WAS LIT AND SLAYING EVERYONE WAS CHEERING
mark is generally rlly shy with compliments so you always compliment him so that people dont take advantage of his humility if that makes sense
like there was once he had a group project and je did most of the work and everyone was like “mark you did all the work!! this isnt a group project”
mark was like no omg my teammates did the work too
and his jackass teammate was like “oh mark only did half of the work and we did the most”
you were ready to fight that asshole and mark had to literally hold you back 
mark really likes it when you steal his hoodies and wear it to lectures bc you look so cute in them
and his graphic tees too this boy has gr8 fashion ngl
when the break rolls around you guys would go cafe hopping and eat till your stomachs were almost exploding
and also shopping for clothes and all that
mark was willing to be your human guinea pig when you buy makeup when your hand runs out of space for swatches
and when its time to pay mark just shoves his credit card to the cashier and youre like
“mark youre gonna be so broke thats $128 worth of makeup”
and you pouting and mark had to use his fingers to lift your lips up into a smile
“you’ve done so much for me for just being my girlfriend, babe, just let me pay for it this once”
and it was the 34th time he paid lmao
anyhow dating!college mark is all pure and fluffy and innocent
please give mark lots of love
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misterbitches · 3 years
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Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.
It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)
They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.
I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.
I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.
I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!
People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???
I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.
But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.
Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)
So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)
Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.
I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.
Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.
However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking
(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)
So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.
Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.
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How much does auto insurance cost for a teenager?
How long does a speeding ticket affect my insurance in MA?
I got in a recent (minor) accident and was shocked at how much my insurance is going up. And it stays there for 6 years. Add that to a couple speeding tickets that are already there, and it becomes a very high rate -- particularly considering that my car is so old and worth so little, I'll be paying half what it's worth in insurance each year. When I was talking with my insurance agent about how much it would go up, I mentioned that at least the speeding tickets would be leaving soon. She disagreed. My tickets are both over 2 years old already, and I thought they would come off my insurance in 3 years. She says it's 6, just like the accident. I'd like another source to check, and am having trouble finding it. I'm currently in MA, with Commerce Insurance.""
""Hello , I have a car in my wifes name ...but the car insurance is in my name can i get it licensed?
Can i get it licensed in kentucky ...while it is in her name? ..she doesn't drive ..i have the insurance on the car in my name..etc .
What is the difference between Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?
What are the products included under the category Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?
I need affordable health insurance! I need your advice.?
I'm a 23 year old male married to a 22 year old female. Both are struggling to make ends meet in school although we have been frugal in our savings. Lately I have felt impressed to purchase health insurance yet I haven't the slightest idea to begin. We both attend a University that offers a insurance policy - I'm not sure how reliable it is though - here is the link - http://www.usu.edu/health/insurance/ (click brochure). 4 and 1/2 years ago I began suffering from the effects of OCD. It's been a complected process for me and I have had to depend heavily on prescription medications. I also have concerns for my wife in the case that we conceive - we need to be able to afford bills that would come as a result of hospitalization. This is one of the limited options I have researched and I realize there are many people out there with vast experience in this field. Your professional experience or even experience you've gained from going through the same things would be greatly appreciated! Thank you
Someone borrowed my truck and a gate fell on the side. Does his insurance pay or mine?
Why should MY rates go up? His insurance is telling him the coverage goes with the VEHICLE, not the driver.""
How much would it cost me a month?
If i wanted to buy a car for $16000 and i am 16 with no credit or anything. I have a job but my mom said she would pay half the payment and the insurance so i need to know how much would the monthly payment be. Thanks
Excluded driver totaled my new car. Does his property damage liability insurance pay for my car? Any advice?
Someone who was exluded from my car insurance drove my car yesterday and had an accident that was at his fault. He had only liability insurance with bodily damage, property damage and underinsured motorist protection. My insurance is not going to cover anything since he is an excluded driver. We live in TX, USA. Can my new wrecked car be considered as a property damage involved in that accident? The other vehicle and driver are OK, only small dent on the rear bumper, but my new car was totally destroyed, not driveable, my insurance refused even go to look and inspect. Schould I seek any legal help if his liability insurance refuses to pay? Is it possible to get any legal help in this situation? What to do and where to go? What to do with the car? It is still on the nearest to the accident parking lot. The property damage limit on his insurance is 25,000. I just bought my car few months ago for 20,000. Thank you for your time, I appreciate your help.""
2000-2001 Mitsubishi eclipse insurance?
I am 15 and will be getting a car soon and i was really liking the eclipse, but i have heard that the insurance for it is a lot. Could anyone tell me what a normal car insuance rate would be (say a sedan), compared to the eclipse??""
Cheap car insurance for 18-year old male?
Hi. Been looking for cheap car insurance. so far ive been quoted 8000 on 2001 vauxhall corsa 1.2 petrol 3dr hatchback. live in ws1 4 area and im a carpenter. no parents dont drive and passed early october. Ive tried I-Kube, and other but their prices are outrageous! hoping to go with young marmalade as a last resort. Many thanks. :) and no i havent bought the car yet. car is worth 1500 approx.""
Average costs of homeownership wisconsin?
i really want to get a small single family house for me and my girlfriend and wanted some insight on average costs of home ownership such as morgage insurance utilitys and so on and whats the average. im looking to draw up a budget and see if it is even plausable for me to own a small house. thanks for all input
Is a life insurance that terms at age 95 a good one?
I just reviewed my life insurance and saw that it termed at age 95..I'm not sure if that is good or bad...please help!
What do you belive is the best insurance agency for teens?
I am a 16 year old who needs insurance. I plan on get a new car in a month which is my 17th birthday. The only problem is, I need to know what agent is the cheapest.""
landlord building insurance compare quotes
landlord building insurance compare quotes
Can you buy a car and not buy insurance?
i dont have my liscence yet but i'm thinking about buying a car, and i was wondering if i had to start paying for insurance; i dont have my liscence and wont be driving the car yet? can i just pay insurance when i get my liscence? i live in Connecticut if that matters""
Do I really need to buy the insurance?
Renting a car from Enterprise, I don't have a car or insurance but I do have a Drivers Lic.....Is the insurance a scam? Or should I get it? I am in California.""
Health and travel insurance for the US?
Hi, I am a British student undertaking an internship in the U.S for 6 weeks this summer. I need Health insurance that complies with the requirements for the J-1 Visa, and though I have found a company that can help me (http://www.isoa.org/compare_plans.aspx) with Health insurance, they don't offer any travel insurance. The companies that I have found for travel insurance don't tend to provide the level of Health insurance that I require. Do people normally take out 2 seperate policies when travelling to the U.S? (e.g. one health, one travel?) If so, can anyone find me somewhere that provides travel insurance to the U.S without health insurance included? Thanks!""
Young Drivers Insurance question?
I'm 18 years old and passed my driving test on the 30th September 2010. I don't have a car because I cant afford the insurance. I'm working full time. I found a nice little car, a 2001 RENAULT CLIO, 1.2 16V 3dr Hatchback. I used a price comparison site to get a basic idea of what the insurance would be on it - and using my real own details and it was 5993. So I messed around a bit and added my mum as a second/extra driver. The price crashed down to 3,153. The option to add another driver was still there so I added my dad too and the price is now 2,617 - much more in my price range. I called them in and was like look at this and what do you think and they both agreed that there was something wrong with it and there would be a catch somewhere but I disagree. They said it would affect their own no claims however when added a extra driver no information about an extra driver is there. Are they right that there would be a catch? And can someone give me some more information about this please! Thanks!""
Cheapest car insurance in Florida?
I need the cheapest car insurance possible for my husband who rarely if EVER drives. His license is suspended, so I drive everywhere (except an extreme emergency), but since we are married, Geico insists we pay for both to be insured. Anyone get around this or find a great insurance company that could get me some reasonable rates in FL?""
""How long until a DUI goes off your driving record, for insurance purposes?
My husband got one in 05 in Washington State. I heard it was three years and then you don't have to disclose the DUI to an insurance company. I will be policy shopping soon and I don't want my rates any higher than necessary.
Good starter bike thats cheap on insurance?
i was thinking a 250r or a 600r???
Car insurance company question?
State farm gave me a car insurance quote 6 months ago. I agreed to it and they set up an account. They told me that we would have automatic payments made to them every month and that my coverage would stay the same. My husband and I never checked to make sure they were still automatically withdrawing the payments until today, 6 months later. I tried to call my insurance agent and she quit! I have not been covered since after the first month, and no one ever called to let me know I was no longer insured. HAD SOMETHING HAPPENED, ME AND SOME OTHER DRIVER WOULD'VE BEEN SCREWED. Who do I talk to about this? BTW I switched insurance companies since then and am now covered. I just was wondering who I can complain to about this.""
Insurance for 2003 Mini One ?
i was wondering if any 17 year old males have been offered insurance for a mini one. and also what prices were offered?
Has anyone from Florida had any experience with Tower Hill homeowners insurance?
We're insurance shopping after we found out State Farm is charging us WAY too much. Tower Hill has given a great quote but I can't seem to find one their customers to talk to. Has anyone dealt with them?
Are insurance agencies notified if you don't get a ticket?
i got pulled over but the cop gave me a break. he checked my license and registration in his computer but gave no ticket. will my insurance find out about this or am i safe for now? i have liberty mutual and live in maryland. im a new driver so im really worried my rates will go up even higher
Very simple for car insurance expert  heeelp!!!?
hello thank you for entering in my post I've been in England for 2 years now but I've never driven here however I had driven for 11 years in my country but on the opposite side of the road and with a car with left-hand drive and I've never had an accident before to choose which car to buy I'd like to know roughly how much they would charge me for a 1.2 engine because if they will charge me too much I could opt for 1.0 engine or even smaller for my first 2 or 3 years and then when my isurance cost goes down I will get a bigger car I've alredy have a UK driving licence however, if I do a driving course with a driving school could I get a little discount for my insurance? any suggestion according this matter will be very appreciated thank you very much in advance for your help""
Self Employed Health Insurance?
My father just quit his old job, he couldn't work there anymore (Too long commute and we lost a parent, so he had to stay closer home for the family) So now he is self employed. We are trying to find insurance that will cover him, 4 children, vision (we all wear glasses) + dental. Does anyone have any suggestions? (We live in PA)""
Estimated car insurance premium for a Camaro/Corvette?
I am looking to buy either a 2002 Camaro (5.7L V8) or a 2000 - 2002 Corvette (5.7L V8). I am wondering how much insurance will cost me. The detailed information and questions are as below: 1. Age: 34 2. Have been driving in the States for little less than 4 years. No accident at all. Only one speeding ticket about 3 years ago. (I had been driving for 10 years in Seoul, Korea with no accident at all, but it didn't count) 3. I used to drive a 2007 Toyota Tundra (5.7L V8), which I sold a few days ago. I paid about 450 dollars/6 months for full coverage. Questions: 1. How much would it cost me if I buy either one mentioned above? (even ballpark number would be appreciated) 2. Do year and purchasing price (or resale value) affect premium? For example, buying a 2008 brand new Corvette or a 2000 used Corvette makes a difference? 3. I know it would be higher to have a sports car, but do my age and driving record affect premium? If yes, how much do they affect?""
How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old?? please answer?
im a male, 17 years old, recently got my g2 license, i bought a used 2000 toyota celica gt-s. how much approximatly would my car insurance be? thanks""
I need car insurance?
I'm 18 don't no anything about insurance I don't no where to start PLEASE HELP........
Are the advantage insurance plans better than standard medicare supplement insurance?
are advantage insurance plans cost effective over standard medicare supplements plans
Can anybody give a good estimate on how much my insurance would be for me driving a 2002 ford mustang?
Im 16 years old and i'm a girl if that matters. My mom will not let me get one but I really want that to be my first car. Also can you give me some ideas to convince her to let me get it. I really need the actual price of how much the insurance would be.
Is it true that if some one borrows your car and they don't have their own insurance they are uninsured?
If they don't have their own car and insurance and you just have basic liability are they driving uninsured and could get fined if pulled over. Please advise
Is there cheap car insurance in sharon pennsylvaniaa?
Hello im getting a car in a week and need insurance but i keep getting told its going to be around 80 dollars a month and i was paying 50 dollars in New York, I only make 400 dollars a month. Does anyone know of a cheap place for auto insurance in or around Sharon PA? thank you""
How would you change your car insurance if your car was over ten yrs old?
idk what my stupid teacher means by that.. i know that car insurance would increase but im not sure thts what she is asking with this question.. thankyou =]
I just got my license but no insurance?
i got my license few weeks ago and i would like to start driving my parents car , they have insurance under there name but not mine yet, and my dad doesnt want to add me on there till later on due to the cost, so will i be able to drive their car with the insurance under their name ? I live in Cali, LA. thank you""
""How much would an insurance company give me to repair Keying damage, three hood dents, and 3 areas of chips?""
My car was badly vandalized about a month ago and i made a claim to my insurance company. I originally decided to take my car into one of their many One Stop shops, where i would only have to pay the 250 dollar deductible and have my car completely repaired. Since then i was laid of from work and have been going through alot of money trouble. I have been considering just having an adjuster come out and write a check for the damages and repair only some of the damage at a friends shop. My question is... how much would the adjuster write off for... Deep key scratches down to the metal, a line all around the car. (20 feet) Three dents on the hood (about 6in diameter) three areas that where hit, and began to chip( about 5in in diameter each) It seems desperate. I know, because i am. I would appreciate any answers, please do not judge me and this situation, i'm just curious if it would be a somewhat wise decision. If you have nothing nice to say, please refrain from commenting, im depressed enough as it is. Thanks!""
How much does Car Insurance for a teenager cost?
How much is car insurance for a 15 ( starting drivers ed) year old girl if you are only a part time driver, like if you dont own a car you just use your parent' car in Illinois? Like how much is added on to your parents insurance bill? and how much does it cost if you have your own car?""
Can you drive someone else's insured car without YOU having your own personal insurance in Ohio?
I'm 17 and i get my license the 26th. My mom is now paying off my car but i do not have insurance yet. Is it legal for me to drive hers or anyone else's car that has car ...show more
landlord building insurance compare quotes
landlord building insurance compare quotes
Insurance deductibles -- when to pay? (and other insurance questions)?
So I am no long part of an california HMO plan, so now I have to get insurance on my own. Problem is that I am making about $800 / month (part time work) while going to school full time. Both my parents are on government low-income plans, so I cant put them as primary policy holders while I get student rates. One question I have about deductibles is when to pay it? For example, a plan that has $1,500 deductible / $0 doctor visits, do I have to pay the full value of that office visit to the doctor? Or will I have to pay $1,500 straight out to the insurance company and then funds will be used accordingly? What about $1500 deductible / $30 co-pay doctor visits? If I pay $30 to the doctor, will this credit towards the deductible? Or will this plan only hit me with the deductible for $1500 when I go to the hospital? Or will the insurance company want it upfront? Final question is: for a 21 year old student that is about 5'7, 230 lbs, non smoker, rarely drinks, what do you think would be the correct rate? So far I am getting estimates of $60-300, depending how big of a deductible I want to put down. Actually, one quick question: opinions on Kaiser Permanente anyone? I know most people i've talked to complained about slow waits and etc, but i'm leaning towards it because of good coverage for the cost -- but is it really worth it? I know this is quite a lot to ask, so if you don't feel like answering, at least point me to an informative web site?""
What costs do you need to think about if you are thinking of buying a couple of narrow boats and renting them
what insurances, fees, maintenance costs etc do i need to be aware of. Thanks""
Car insurance - car pay out?
Recently my friend had an accident. His car is an import and the insurance company want to write it off and as they cannot get hold of replacement parts. Does he have the right to refuse their offer for pay out as the car is worth more than they are giving him. As its an import, and a sports car, he knows he can get more for it on auto trader and eBay. Or can he settle the claim with them by asking them to pay for the repair if he can sort out a garage who is willing to fix his car for less than the insurance company had suggested.""
Teen Car Insurance + Accidents Clarification?
I'm a 16 year old girl who just got her license in March. A week after I got my license, I rear ended another car while driving my mom's new car that is insured. We got it fixed and only had to pay the 500 dollar deductible. I do not have my own car. My sister, who is 19, has her own car that is not covered on our insurance. My dad's car is not covered either. My sister just got into an accident, rear ending someone as well. I really need to get a car next year for work and such but my parents said my insurance would be high enough already with both of me and my sister's accidents. Couldn't I just buy a car on my own and not insure it like my dad and sister's cars? I really don't know how car insurance works at all, i only know what my parents tell me, so any help would be appreciated :)""
Need help with Car Insurance?
I am a 17 year old in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as ...show more""
Becoming an insurance agent in Texas?
How does one become an insurance agent in Texas?
What is the insurance price for me to buy an 05 Toyota Solara?
I am a 16 year old from MN and I was wondering how much it the insurance would cost to buy an 05 Solara. I have been a B student most of my life. I know that 2 door cars cost more than 4 door. just spill out some price it would be per month. Thanks
Car insurance for a young person?
I've calculated my monthly payment from being a young internet marketer, Which is $3000 a month. How much will money would I Really get if I have car insurance? Is there any other thing I need to know as well?""
Car insurance question.?
I was involved in an accident recently. The other driver ran a red light and totaled my car. There were no witnesses or cameras. The other driver claims that I was the one who ran the red light. This is not true. The police report was finished today and it came back in my favor. I only have liability insurance so I am waiting to hear from the other driver's insurance company on whether or not they are going cover the cost of replacing my car. Do you experts think they will cover my full costs? Thanks, Eric""
I'm not gay but need health insurance?
In my state (ct) my boyfriend can not add me to his health insurance policy because we are not a homosexual couple. We live together and have for a long time, but because we have the option of getting married I can't have coverage. While I am happy that Ct takes homosexual relationships into account, I feel heterosexuals are being discriminated against. We are not religious and in no hurry to marry- we are very happy. Any thoughts on the legalities here or how to get around this?""
""Health insurance question, very simple?""
Ok, this may sound stupid, but, for health insurance; we pay both the premium and the deductible, right? Or is it either or? Do we pay the premium every month and the deductible only once a year? Thanks a lot""
I need advice on car insurance?
what would be a really really cheap car to insure? i just need liability insurance. i need a car or truck but im worried about how much it will cost to insure. any advice on really cheap insurance on any certain car would be greatly appreciated. if you also know any car insurance providers that offer low rates i would like to know that as well. thank you
How much money should I budget for insurance on a car dealership?
My bank needs an estimate for a car dealership insurance but the insurance company is taking forever? HELP!? I've been trying to get a hard insurance quote for over 2 months. they keep coming back with more questions because i'm doing a slightly unique business model. Thats fine and all, I understand why and that doesn't bother me, but what the problem is that the bank said they won't submit my loan app to the SBA until I have at least a rough insurance estimate in my cash flow, and the insurance companies I'm talking to (2) won't give me a rough idea at all! I don't know if its $2500 a year or $500,000 per year. Can anyone who knows anything about business insurance or car dealerships give me an idea within $5000-$10k of what I might want to budget for? Could it be 1/2 a million? or is it likely going to be more like 10 or 20k per year? Total inventory will not exceed $65,000 and we will also have a two service bays. Thanks!""
When will a 1989 Mustang GT Convertible become a classic?
The car is in good shape, runs great, new top and no dents. Should I sell it or keep it?""
What insurance is the cheapest a month?
for a 16 year old that drives a 98 ford explorer 4 door 4wd. 4.0L V 6. it has a lift on it i dunno if that effects it at all. i;ve looked around but all it shows is like 2 grand. and i know it aint 2 grand cause my cousins 17 and she has an 05 mustang gt. by the way i live in tn. dunno if that helps. and i have 230,000 miles. no wrecks or sitations.""
""Car rental insurance, please help!?""
Hello everyone, I am really confused and need your help, please. I rented a car from Avis in Calgary, Alberta and drove to Vancouver, BC. I got involved in an accident that although my car was not damaged, but I think I am considered cause of the accident (two cars were badly damaged). I did not ask for any insurance of the rental car. My understanding was that the third party liability is covered by my own car insurance. However, someone called me earlier from my car insurance company(state farm) saying that they are not responsible. Today the rental car company has called and left me a message asking me to call them. I do not know what should I prepare myself for? Am I going to be charged to pay for all the damage? That'd be terrible. Please provide me with any information you have. I don't know what to do.""
How much would it be to have my car repainted the factory color and remove some pretty good scratches/dents?
my car was recently scraped by a post and mccdonalds and put some pretty good sracthes in my car with a good size dent and also completely ruined my running board how much do u think it would cost do have all this fixed at macco or if i claimed it as a hit and run would my insurance cover that and repaint my car or atleast half of it the side that was messed up and have ever thing else fixed
Can I get really cheap insurance for my bike if I only use it for a couple of weeks per year?
I live in Argentina, and only go back to the U.S. for a few weeks out of the year. What's the cheapest way to insure my motorcycle while I'm there?""
Insurance question?
What is better on insurance if you have a spotless record: 2007 PT Cruiser Touring Edition 2006 Toyota Corolla LE Thanks in advance!
How much would a Ford Puma cost to insure?
I'm 16, taking driving lessons soon after my birthday, and I'd love to get a Puma, I know insurance is a lot... But I thought that as it's a small, 2 door car, the price might drop a bit, if maybe the price is going to be quite high (Above average for a new driver) then please suggest some other cars that are cheap to insure :) But I would really like one of these x) Also considering fuel consumption and economy :) One of these - http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201228478314260/usedcars/postcode/bn72ph?logcode=kp :) Thanks very much""
Fully comp car insurance?
Hello wondering if I am covered to drive another car if we both have fully comp car insurance and if engine sizes have to match thanks
How to buy car insurance?
im goin to buy a used car this week. this is my first time to buy the car.but i dont have a car insurance. do i have to buy the insurance before buy the car or after buy the car. if after buy car can i drive the car without insurance?
Help with insurance prices?
I was wondering what the cost of these cars would be for a 16 year old male or just a list of most expensive to insure to cheapest to insure. 2006 Chrysler 300 touring 50000 miles 2007 dodge charger sxt 40000 miles 2006 chevy cobalt ss not sc or tc 60000 miles
Are BMW more expensive to insure?
Specifically a White 2006 BMW 325i. I'm 21, never had any traffic violations, had my license since I was 17. I'm looking to get rid of my old 1994 Crappy Mustang, and getting a White 06 3 Series BMW. Will my insurance be expensive? Additional Details: I plan on financing, which means it will require me to get full coverage.""
How much is insurance for a bmw z3?
I'm a male 16 yr old , just got a 1999 bmw z3 convertible. 30,000 miles for $6,999 (sweet deal!!) what would insurance be? My record is clean (of coarse) and straight A's. ...show more""
landlord building insurance compare quotes
landlord building insurance compare quotes
Will a pacemaker affect my car insurance cost?
Will a pacemaker affect my car insurance cost?
How much will the car insurance rate increase?
Company: Mercury Current Rate: $450-ish/month Accident: Backing up into another car; indentation (about 2 feet wide) on other car, no injuries, other car still functions normally. Also, I got my license in July and I am under 18. Thanks in advance.""
""18 Years old, car insurance, comprehensive?""
Right so if I get comprehensive car insurance at the age of 18, can I drive other peoples cars? With permission""
Car Insurance Question?
I am a little under 15 and a half years old and my dad has debated and almost bought a lot of cars for me, from ford f650's to 1965 or higher mustangs and jaguars. but so far we have thought that the car that would be good for my first car would be a 1994 Ford Mustang with a V8 with 30k miles0. which is perfect because that was the year i was born. So my question is that since its a sports car and its V8 about how much would my insurance be when i could start driving by myself?/ insurance for the other kinds of cars/trucks?""
Insured under my dads car?
My dads leaving on vacation and I want to drive his car when he's gone but he says I have to be 25 for it to be legal. I live with my mom not with my dad and am insured under her car. I'm 23 and I live in toronto Ontario. Could someone please explain to me exactly how liability insurance works and whether I would be covered under my dads car if I used it for the 5 days he was on vacation?
Car insurance for a classic triumph? Rough idea?
I've just turned 17 and am well on my way to getting a license I was wondering for a 17/18 year old male how much would insurance per month/per year for a 1960-1975 triumph spitfire I am desperate to have it as a first car and I can afford one at 3000-4000 at the moment I was just wondering how much the insurance on it would be it is such a beautiful car can't wait to get one. I tried getting quotes from compare the market but it was all very complex and I didn't really understand most of it. Any info would be much appreciated THANKS!!!
How much does insurance cost for?
Hi! I'm a 16 year old male that lives in Kentucky, and i'm getting a truck soon, it would be my first vehicle. Its going to be a mid 90s or late 80s truck. I'm wanting to know how much insurance would cost on average? Any help would be greatly appreciated.""
How can I start an auto insurance business in California?
How can I start an auto insurance business in California?
How does an Insurance Claim work?
How does an insurance claim work. Let's say I get up one morning walk outside and my car has been stolen? The police come out and take a report, then they leave. How long would it take insurance cover this and how much would they cover? For example, if I have a car that I'm financing that is worth $24,500.00 dollars that had full insurance coverage. Basically, how does it work? Since it's being financed, I'm sure the insurance company would pay out the remaining balanced owed on the car to satisfy the loan with the finance company but what happens to me afterwards? Lets say I have $100,000 dollars in coverage that covers me in case of theft or something like that. Being that the car was fully covered and insurance was able to pay back the loan, would they give me the money to buy a new car at equal or face value of the car that was stolen? Insurance is so friggin complicated...if someone could explain the process to me I'd appreciate it.""
Would I lose my auto insurance?
Hey there, I have been in 2ed car accident, and its my 2ed one in the past two years. I was wondering If my insurance would drop me, or cancel my renewal or just raise my rates? If it helps they where both rear ends, and no damages to my car, and just scratch to the other car.""
How do you apply for health insurance?
How does health insurance work?
Why is my car insurance going up?
I can't understand why my car insurance is going up and I've never claimed.... I am 24 years old and passed my driving test in 2007. I brought my first car in september 2008 which is a Vauxhall Corsa 12v 1Ltr. I still have the same car but each year the insurance is going up and up and I'm only going for third party fire and theft. 1st year - 77 2nd Year - 111 3rd Year - 130 - 199 I can't understand it.
Help on AT&T insurance?
Okay so when I got my upgrade I got the htc one x with insurance . A month later my friend traded me a galaxy nite for my htc one x . And now my galaxy note doesn't want to work will the insurance cover the note?
How much is a g35 coupe insurance?
I am a 17 male and am about to buy a 2004 g35 and was wondering how much insurance was. I have a clean slate, no accidents or tickets. I have farmers insurance and was wondering how much my monthly insurance would be roughly? I have a good gpa of above 3.0 so doesn't that give me a discount?""
Premium rates increase after an auto accident?
I rear-ended a car and that car hit another car. The car in the middle I believe will have lots of damages to repair. When my premium rates increase, what is the deciding factor on how much it will increase? Is it the cost of repairs to the cars? or just the fact that I got into an accident. In addition, with this one accident and 2 cars having damaged does that mean that the insurance company would see me hitting 2 cars instead of one which will increase my premium even more? And by the way, my insurance company is mercury if that helps! Thanks!""
Does anyone know names /links for affordable dental insurance for someone who's 66 yrs old under medicare...?
my mom is having tooth ache and she's 66, no job, poor. anyone knows of good dental insurance plan i can help her with?""
Affordable health insurance in Florida for someone who is 22 with no kids.?
I am 22 years old and I live in Florida. I have no health insurance but I really need it because I have asthma and alot of other health issues that seem to come up alot. Does anyone know of any type of affordable health insurance or anything that could help me?
How much would the insurance on this car be?
It's a 2007 Toyota solara silver with 63000 miles on it...how would full converge be per month? Just an estimate.
Can i ask my insurance company if my rate will go up before i decide to have them cover it?
Recently my windshield was smashed and I dont want to have my insurance cover the replacement if my rates are going to go up. Can i just call them and ask or is that just a stupid question?
Best way to get a car and insurance for 17 year old?
I'm 17 years old and wanting to buy a car. But the insurance is far too expensive and I don't want a car that is too second hand but still quite cheap if you know what I mean. Three people who can drive in my year have cars and theres somebody who has got a car ready for when he passes his test. I don't think they are all loaded so I don't know how they have done it. Thanks for any help.
Having a hard time finding affordable health insurance?
I just need a simple surgery on both my ears. About a year ago I developed a keloid on both ears. I know they can get bigger so I want to get it fixed before it looks like a grape behind my ear. My biggest problem is in finding affordable health insurance. Can anyone tell me a good site to go to for affordable health insurance? All answers would be greatly appreciated.
""How much should an average home insurance policy cost, for a 3 family home in Queens, NY?""
What coverage is mandatory, what is not but recommended? Thank you for your input. Also if you can suggest an insurance broker that would be really helpful""
What are the minimum requirements to insure a moped (UK)?
I have recently passed my car driving test and was told a easy way to reduce my insurance cost (because it was 3000+ per year) was to insure a moped for a year, not drive it but thus getting a years no claims. Obviously this then will reduce the insurance quote for the next year. (I am also going to undertake the PassPlus Scheme). So... I was just wondering what the minimum requirements are to insure a moped? Do I have to have passed a CBT (Cycle Basic Training)? Do I need a motorcycle license or will my UK driving license cover a moped up to 50cc? Does the moped need to be taxed throughout the whole year or just for the start of the insurance cover? (EG: if the tax runs out during the policy will it invalidate it?) Does the moped need a valid MOT or is it alright if it expires during the year that the policy will run?""
Off roading 4wd insurance question?
Hi all Just wanting to know if when you are 4wding if you have an accident eg :rool the 4wd or flood it or break stuff on it are we covered by insurance and are there any 4wding insurance companies for 4wders only?
""Can you NOT have car insurance ? ? and if you buy a car in cash , what is the tax on that ?""
okay i'm new to America and i'm planing to buy a car for about 14000 in cash , do you need to get insurance ? and is the tax on cars the same as sales tax ? , and any info about buying my first car ! would help !""
landlord building insurance compare quotes
landlord building insurance compare quotes
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-insurance-agency-inc-north-augusta-sc-isaac-oneill/"
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today i was very much just me. and it wasnt like a bunch of planning to do stuff or setting real goals. i mean, i kind of did in some ways but it wasnt a big deal to me to fail; it just got me going and thinking and doing. ive actually been feeling mildly okay. like, theres not an insane amount of anxiety and im just letting things be and others are just letting it be and its not making the situation any better but not feeling constantly panicked about it is better. so i know its become repition now. ive become a self aware robot now. its really repetitive to say things like i dont know where i stand with him, i dont know where this relationship is going, i dont know why were together etc. i dont need to go back into long drawn out rants. this afternoon he just repeatedly sent fuck off to me because i sent too many messages (3, in a few hours) and was vicious because i asked if he wanted to grab later (he probably would) and i had money to pitch. he doesnt do this in person but regardless i find it really unnecessary and disgusting to become an abusive cry baby. he does do this to his mother as well but hes extra careful about it with me.. or tries to be. even in text. lately ive had very little conversation with him. id say over three weeks of having a conversarion which involved me or my life. we had one - and he bought it off with "classes" we havent spoke of since. like literally its never been brought up since the original day. he never asks how my day was or what ive done and yet im clearly going out and seeing people. like not even casual convo about my life ljke hey did you finish this book or w. e. he fills up most of our space. i do like hearing him talk, honestlt and i dont offer up these things. i dont tell him. i kind of stopped telling him because he was rarelt listening. hed just tune out and tell me he missed half. i think he knows but at the same time im not willing to expend the enerfy to think about what hes doing. maybe hes setting up to break up. hes probably done it enough he knows how to be smooth with it. i try not to think that way which is hard because im just leaving mhself open everyday to be burned. but i assume hes not. he takes it out on his mother as well which makes me thibk its more just a problem with him. i told him i was just making conversation - which is impossible anyways to do with him in text despite him sepnding alot of time doing it with others. i told him to get over himself, because these fucked up "rules" he has for communicating with him is stupid and no one cares that he doesnt know how to use his own phone. turn off the fucking notification. whats wrong with you. throwing a tantrum because you dont turn off the notificarion is so stupid. no one can guess when its okay to talk to you via text. go fuck yourself. of course, what will probably happen is ill try to text something casual after all this and he may or may not reply with something okay. more likely he will but theres like 35% chance he wont. but well forget about it - like his mother does, and move on, never talking about it again. if i tried to, id probably be told to just live with it anyway - its my choice to be there. i wish i had it in me to bring this up the right way. like the real way a human does when communicating something to another without animosity or because theyre trying to gain something. like i just want to know what this is and why were doing this. why am i putting up with a grown mans tantrum via text and for what? what is my gain? this morning he laughingly said "when i start getting paid x -we- will be better off" he spoke this way twice, telling me before that his money is what pays for -our- lifestyle and luxuries. but -we- dont share a life together. we are just apart of each others lives. we dont share in it together as partners. so its like.. i live in a whole other place than you and have other responsibilities and do other things you dont even know about. where is us? stuck in a shitty text convo where im trying to see him in person but i cant tell him im coming over and i cant ask to come over - just because he doesnt"like" communicating rhat way. us would be food in my house. bus money. paying for things together. his money is no true benefit to me and hes made it pretty unimportant. like yeah, i want to smoke weed but its not my shelter. i gave all the money i had to shelter. i didnt keep it to smoke weed. so without weed what do i get? what is such a great benefit to me? nothing. im just an observer. congrats on ur shit but its ljke im a studio audience just empathizing with the main character. i dont need a benefit either but to act ljke youre a benefit to me when youre a luxury is stepping over your role. let me be grateful and the maid to pay off my weed, let it be cute and fun - dont act like you put food in my mouth when i have to steal it from your overstuffed cupboards. i love him. i do love him. and im so frustrated because i want more and he dangles more sometimes. id follow him anywhere - id do whatever he asked to lay in bed with him every night becahse im a desperate and hopeless romantic. i have little left in life but love. ive never acted like this. i only once asked him if hed move in - i casually mention it sometimes when hes angry at his mother in a list of other options but i only once asked and his answer was no. i dont think itll change, and if it does hed tell me - not hint around it. i never asked to move out with him - but i suspect its the same answer, im ill and have no job. fajr enough. its a prettt blanket response. so i just wait. despite having my answer. i wait to get better, i guess? i wait for things to change? for him to get fed up? he says he loves me but i dont know. i wish he did.
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