#i dont know where the original came from i stole this from a youtube video (if anyone knows let me know pleaaase)

[petra-dot-png]

I *had* to draw this interview bit. It’s so damn funny My original sketch below (previously posted)

ermmmm do i tag this as 2doc or not. i cant decide lol

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[luc4ri0]

i just had a really sad dream and woke up crying...

it all started with me going to japan with 4 of my favorite youtubers,markiplier,lostpause,akidearest and theanimeman. when they played a prank on some cars,i went inside a taxi to (maybe?) apologize to the driver,and inside the passenger seat was a homeless man,when the driver went out of the car angry (probably to complain about the prank,which btw was putting ductape all over the windshield),the homeless man stood up and turned on the car to (probably) steal it,and then for some reason he simply vanished and i was stuck inside a really fast moving car going downhill,i tried opening the door next to me to jump out of the car,but when i (probably) tried to go out,the car swerved in the opposite direction pulling me in a really awkward way,making me (successfully) fall out of the car,but with tons of injuries. and when i tried to stand up the street was a complete mess because of the car being out of control. i black out and wake up in a bed full of purple spots from falling hard on the ground,woken up by a voice asking me if i was okay. some time passes (i think,at least i felt like some time passed),and i go outside after recovering and go down the path downhill where the car once was,dragging a stick trough the dirt making a line. and when i go up the hill again,a talking snake (who i seemed to be friends with????) goes downhill thinking the line i drew with the stick was someone he knew (he said a specific name and seemed to be really worried about the name,but i dont remember the name) and wouldnt believe me when i said it wasnt a snake trail,so when the snake finally believes me 2 (or 3,i cant remember) snakes appear and start bullying my snake friend (presumably because my snake friend was of the most dangerous and venomous snake kind?) and my snake friend tries to not get into a fight because hes “really weak and unconfrontational despite the kind of snake he is”,and then (presumably because they thought he was teasing them) the 3 bully snakes start stinging and biting my leg non-stop and i fall to the ground,and for a split second i feel like im being kicked all over by a bunch of people (maybe there were no snakes,just actual people and the snakes were all in my mind,and i was just trying to help a friend get out of trouble and got the short end of the stick). i black out again and wake up with my face all swollen and full of bandages across my body,and (probably broken) my left arm all bandaged up and immobile,again,im woken up by a faceless voice,this time yelling “dad!”,probably because i just woke up from a long time in the hospital,and then (i think) i hear said voice telling me how worried they were and the voice is coming out of a tv with a list of console names,which i assume means that i never had anyone actually worried about me,and i was just imagining it all while being in a room with only a bunch of video game consoles as my one and only company. and for some reason,the “reveal” of me being completely alone in a room,knowing it was all my imagination and im actually in an empty room with a lit tv screen with (i think) grey hairs all over my beard and hair made me completely emotional and i woke up crying. it wasnt too much,maybe like 3 or so tears scrolled down my nose (because i sleep sideways) when i opened my eyes,but i remember waking up after stopping whimpering. so its very possible that i was crying in my sleep.

PHEW,that was a longer explanation than i expected,considering i only focused on a few key points of the dream so i wouldnt forget it,it felt like it was a lot shorter than all i wrote down. during the dream,after every time i blacked out in the dream,i think there was like a “time skip”. my guess,as im very used to analyzing dreams in a psychological way,is that the trip to japan and the youtubers were all in my head the whole time,and i was actually the one putting ductape on the parked car’s windshields,even though in the dream i was against what “they” were doing saying i didnt want to get in trouble. and then i entered the back of a car (i dunno why,maybe because it was the only one open) and got surprised that there were actual people in it,and the driver got out of the car to pull me out of the passenger seat. and the “homeless man” was also in my imagination,and i actually stole the car,but (probably) didnt actually know how to drive properly,getting into a horrible accident. i also remember very vaguely that i talked to someone when i was really hurt on the ground at the bottom of the hill,i remember explaining what happened and something they said made me try and look up to see where the car originally came from,making me see the horrible accidents the rampaging car caused. but that “person” must also been in my imagination. when i blacked out and woke up with someone asking me if “i was ok”,im assuming that was either a nurse,a doctor,or a close friend watching over me in the hospital. again,i felt like there was a long time between me blacking out and waking up in the hospital,so maybe i spend a few years in there,probably in a coma. when i came back to the hill street where the accident happened,there was absolutely no sign of anything that the car caused,either because its been so long that everything is fixed,or because nothing happened at all (because when i was walking down i didnt have any injuries that i had when i woke up in the hospital). and about my talking friend snake,i think the fact that it was a snake at all was completely in my head,and i assume it was a very close friend of mine,or maybe a complete stranger who was trying to reach someone they saw going downstreet,or maybe simply late to something,the point being,the person really wanted to leave that spot quickly. and about the 3 bully snakes,i think at that point the snake friend wasnt even there (since when the bully snakes started attacking me he simply vanished with no explanation or connection to them attacking me),maybe there was never a person in rush at all,or maybe the person was in rush BECAUSE of the 3 bullies,and the snake bullies were actually 3 people trying to rob me,and the reason why they started attacking me was because i was trying to say to all of them to not fight over something stupid like race,and since it made no sense at all,they just thought i was mocking them and started beating me up,and in a short glimpse of me being extremely hurt my whole imagination thing faded away for a split second where i actually saw feet kicking me all over my body. and when i woke up really hurt with someone saying “dad!” that was probably my tv,because when i actually looked at the voice i saw a tv,and while i was focused on the tv,i had no injuries at all,and i was inside a dark room with a lit tv screen in supposedly NOW layout (a brazilian tv system that works exactly like netflix). and the reason why i started crying was because i finally realized that all that happened in my dream was in my imagination or a movie/game i just watched,and i was actually really old and stuck in a dark room with no family or friends,going so insane that i actually thought those things happened (or maybe they did happen but all the crazy parts were due to my insanity and probably schizophrenia).

dreams often are a glimpse at your brain working full speed processing all the information that happened to you recently,and because of the speed its working,each thing it process creates an image associated with said processed thing,like say, it process that you eat something you really liked at lunch,and gives you a dream about you going to a really good restaurant. so i think the reason why i had such a sad and depressing dream was because i was extremely upset at everything before falling asleep,and all the craziness that happened in my dream was my imagination of how insane and delusional i would be growing up. and the tears probably came because i was both upset at all the things that happened (refer to my previous long text post),and the fact that my imagination of my future was probably really accurate of how things would turn out,with me growing old and still stuck in an imaginary world where everything is right,but with my life in complete shambles,hence the dark empty room with just a tv screen.