A temporarily blind Astrid Drabble?
A/N: Holy heck. I am, so terribly sorry that this took me so long to put out!!! I found it and decided to rewrite it aaaand,,, Well, this was the result! I’m so sorry that it took me forever to post this, @aracanabraeks!! :’)(I think this one might be a little heavier than what I usually write? I’m not entirely sure, but I feel as if it’s necessary to note that it’s not super light and fluffy, or anything!)
Blink
“Mostof the hindrances that you and your friends cause me are generally…unseen. And as the saying goes–an eye for an eye, no?” He’dsaid. “You needn’t worry, however. I’ve decided to be mercifulby letting you keep them, at the very least. How useful they’ll beto you is simply… undetermined.”
Therewas no ultimatum, no ulterior motive–Viggo wanted revenge for theRiders’ last stunt: the destruction of his marble stronghold. Theentire purpose of kidnapping Astrid was for the sake of making apoint.For the sake of gettingeven.
Hemade a formidable adversary, and part of that was due to the factthat he wasn’t afraid to employ tactics heavier on the…unscrupulousside…in order to get what he wanted. The fact that he so casually broughtthe Scourge of Odin back down upon the Barbaric Archipelago was proofenough, but yet another one of methods he utilized revolved aroundthe fact that prolonged and close-range exposure to an Armorwing’sflameresultedin (supposedly temporary)blindness–toboth dragon and viking. Such exposure was appropriately classified astorture.
…Andin both cases of blatant inhumanity, Astrid was a victim without a choice.
Thevery real threat of hurting Stormfly if she didn’t cooperate withthe Hunters was the only thing keeping her eyes open in the face ofthe Armorwing’s inferno. Every blink risked a scale off of her bestfriend’s back, a premature spine ripped off of her tail. Thistime… there was no way out of Viggo’s plot.
“Obedient,”he had mused from somewhere in the ship cellar, a tone of purecomplacency dripping from his voice, “I believe I expected a littlemore from you, Miss Hofferson.”
Shegrit her teeth and kept her hands–which had curled into fists–gluedto her sides.
Oneday, he would crumble at her feet.
Viggo’stricks were growing dirtier and dirtier, and the fact that Astridwasa prime target was–quite frankly–rapidly becoming veryirritating.
Shewas a pawn. A bargaining chip. She knew that, and while her capturehadn’t been her most graceful moments, she surely didn’t go downwithout resisting. In the end, whether or not she went with theHunters quietly or not didn’t matter, but it brought her a shred ofcomfort to know that she put up a fight. Of course, she promised togive them much morethanan axe to the gut and a kick in the groin when she recovered.
(…Ifsheever recovered. The thought made her heart sink impossibly further.)
Theyencountered her during her morning flight-slash-patrol around the island.
They’dtaken both her and Stormfly–again.
Theyhadn’t even bothered to restrain her, but they did disarm her–andtheyput her very own axe to her dragon’s neck.
Theyforced a captured Armorwing (who Astrid vowed to help free as soon asshe was able) to sustain its flame, only a few feet from her face.
Theygave her a choice that wasn’t even a choice.
Theygave her an option–lose her sight indefinitely, or leave with hersight and her life… but without her dragon.
Butneveragain.Never again would Astrid allow the Hunters to have Stormfly in theircustody.
…Andso she stood, in the center of the cellar, steeling herself for whatwas to come.
Shedug the soles of her boots into the grain of the wood and squared hershoulders, and she furrowed her brow in fierce determination from thevery, very beginning. The Armorwing loomed before her, and the heatimmediately bordered unbearable. It hadn’t been long before she felta sheen of sweat broke out across her forehead–but how hot her skinwas paler in comparison to the intense burnhereyes promptly experienced.
Theyquickly felt as if they were going to begin to shrivel at any givenmoment–but when she began to squint or nearly blinked, Stormflytrilled. Woefullytrilled.
ForStormfly, shechanted in her head.
Theentire time, the ones she held dearest to her heart were on her mind.It was from thoughts of them that she drew her strength, herendurance–that, and pure spite.IfViggo thought he’d be guaranteed some sort of twisted gratificationfrom seeing her suffer, then he was sorelymistaken,because she had no intention of expressing her pain. She was strongerthan this–stronger than him, and whatever he tried to put up againsther!
Andyet…
…Very,very soon came the point where Astrid grew numb to the dragon’sflame, but could hardly stand to keep her eyes open any longer. Hervision clouded and became glazed with white, everything becominglighter and lighter with each passing second. She initially refusedto give the onlooking Hunters holding down Stormfly the satisfactionof hearing her cry out in pain, and instead elected to bite down onher lip to muffle any shouts that threatened to escape–
Buteven the mightiest were susceptible to being felled.
Astrid,knees wobbly, ended up collapsing to the ship’s floorboards withinless than a few minutes,witha broken, choked, patheticgaspfor air that wasn’t heated. The sustained fire had done its job,but it also seemed to devour the oxygen in the air. Her firm resolvehad been melted by the Armorwing’s intense flames, and she resortedto pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes, as if doing sowould somehow numb the sharp, stinging sensation.
Itwas over surprisingly quickly, but every moment felt like absoluteHel.And the aftermath?
Excruciating.Every single secondofit.
Whenshe felt her dragon thunder towards her and curl protectively aroundher person, Astrid finally pried her eyes open and blinked. The sharpfwhipofStormfly brandishing her barbed tail filled her ears, but her eyes…
Shesaw nothing but white.
Theystung with both welling tears and the lingering pain of having staredat a bright source of light for an extended period of time–but shedidn’t cry. As soon as they oh-so kindlyallowedStormfly to escort Astrid back to their base, the Hunters made aquick departure in the opposite direction of the Edge… and that wasthat.
Hercondition served as a message. A warning. A taunt.
AndOdin knew what Hiccup would do when he found out.
Whenshe was safely on Stormfly’s back and well in the air, she stilldidnot allow herself to cry, because crying was givingin.She could not see the sun or the morning sky–she just assumeditwas still morning. She could not see their base in the near distanceor the rolling hills and trees beneath her. She couldn’t even seethe crown of spikes on Stormfly’s head, but she clung to thedragon’s neck with such dependency anyway. Astrid wanted to tellthe Nadder to take her somewhere secluded, but despite the dragon’sloyalty, she knew that Stormfly would take her to her friends. Itwasn’t until she reached a tentative hand to her face that sherealized that she was crying anyway. She tried to blink away thetears.
Intrusivethoughts swarmed her mind relentlessly–how uselesstosaid friends she was now that she couldn’t see, whether or notshe’d be able to see atallinthe future, how they would react. How Hiccupwouldreact. Just thinking about it made her feel guilty, as if somehow,she could have prevented this from happening.
Even though such wasimpossible, she knew she couldpreventthe impending carnage and cycle of revenge that was likely to takeplace when her condition was revealed, but how could she keepsomething such as being blindunderwraps? How could she pretend that her world wasn’t crashing down ontop of her?
Sheonly continued to imagine–no, predict–howher future was going to further fall apart.
Combatwould be next to impossible.
DragonRacing–if not just flying in general–was just… out of thequestion.
She’dnever see the sunset, or the exotic colors of every dragon theyencountered. She’d never see her mother or father or her friends oreven her future children–andit wouldn’t be because she wasn’t present, but it would be due toa physical incapability.
Everythingwas changing, all before her very eyes. The ones what she couldn’tseewith.
Evenafter Stormfly landed, presumably back at the stables, Astridcontinued to think.Her fingers trembled and her breaths were all ragged and strained,but she strove to find some reason deep within herself.
Wouldshe ever see again? Or was she stuck in a perpetually white world?The fact that she wasn’t seeing pitchblack waspromising, and it gave her a sliver of hope that she could somehowrecover. She clung to that shred of optimistic thought, because therewas still a chance for her to beat the odds and beatViggo,but as soon as she attempted to dismount Stormfly–
“Astrid!There you are!”
GreatThor.
Sheswallowed thickly and rubbed at her eyes as she slowly swung her legover Stormfly’s back. It was a motion she’s completed with suchease and confidence time and time again, but she’d suddenly…grown wary of her footing. All she wanted to do was curl up besideher dragon and reflect and be alone,butof courseHiccuphad to come around. Quickly attempting to recompose herself, heturned towards the source of his voice and blinked, thankful that herhearing was still intact.
Astriddidn’t know how long she could maintain the illusion that herencounter with the Hunters didn’thappenand that she couldstillsee, but she would try. She’d simply have to–for the sake ofkeeping order on the Edge. Her thoughts of her future and herhappiness be damned–they couldn’t afford to make any risky movesfor the sake of getting even, and getting even is exactlywhatViggo probably wanted them to do. If Astrid knew the Hunter’sleader at all, she knew that he tried to have everything planned downto the last confrontation.
“Hey,Hiccup,” she responded soon enough, offering a brief lift of herhand as wave. Her voice sounded unbearably tightandshe had no clue about how disheveled she may have looked, butStormfly ducked her head and nudged her shoulder so that she wouldface an entirelydifferentdirection.
Somuch for being secretive.
Astridplaced her palm on the Nadder’s horn for stability. She blinked.Her world went from white, to black, to white again.
Shecould only imagineHiccup’sperplexed expression. Literally. What he looked like at the momentwas a mystery to her and–
Oh,no.
No,no, no.
Whatif she forgets?
“…Astrid,is everything okay?”
Whatif she forgets what he looks like? His eyes. His smile–all of them.The goofy, crooked one and the jokingly serious one and the heartmeltingly adoring one and… What if she forgot her other friends,too? What they all look like? It was only a matter of time before anyand all hopes of her ever seeing again would be ultimately crushed,and then… And then she’d be stuck. She’d never see Stormfly orHiccup or her friends. She’d never see the sunrise or sunset orcoloratall–
Astridtried so desperatelytoremain composed and stay levelheaded, but with such a probablyreality looming on the horizon, how could she stay calmwhenit truly, finally hit her that her entire futurewasvery likely compromised? She relied so heavily on her sight thatliving without it…
…Wouldn’tbe living at all.
Sheblinked.
Suddenly,she felt her hair get tucked behind her ear and warm, calloused palmson either of her cheeks, and she stiffened, startled. The contactalone was enough to make her walls fall in around her, while herpreviously rigid expression crumpled into that of one conveyingagony.
“Astrid?Astrid,what–what happened out there? What did you see?”
Theirony.
Astridshook her head and barked out a single, humorless laugh. Her eyescontinued to burn with a dull intensity, partially because she wascrying even harder now, but she kept her hands to herself. The thingsthat she knewshecould do with her eyes closed now seemed to be completely foreign andimpossible–even throwing her arms around Hiccup in the way that sheusually did seemed hazardous.
Shesettled for squeezing her eyes shut. The darkness was comforting,because she could pretend that she was fine despite knowing shewasn’t.
“Astrid,look at me–”
“Nothing,”shefinally snapped, the sharp bite in her trembling voice evidently notdirected toward Hiccup. She pictured him wincing. “Nothing, okay? Ididn’t–I can’tseeanything.I can’tlookat you.” Astrid could hear Stormfly coo, and she imagined thatHiccup looked worriedly over at both of their dragons, seeking somesemblance of insight as he gathered her in an embrace.
“I–Idon’t–Astrid, what are you…?”
Shefelt his arms loop around her middle, so she managed to find hisshoulders. Astrid buried her face in the crook of his neck and simplystood there,leavingHiccup to try and decipher her cryptic response for the same amountof time it took for her to compose herself to the point where sheknewshewouldn’t break down. It was only when she became astutely aware ofthe fingers rubbing circles into the small of her back that she wasdrawn out of her bout of self pity.
Asingle name was enough to make Hiccup’s hold around her waist growsignificantly tighter. She was well aware of the shift in hisstature–from comforting to downright protectiveafterso much as hearing “Viggo” leave her lips.
“What,”Hiccup grit out, “did he do?”
Shetook a shuddery breath that wracked her chest and pulled her armsfrom around Hiccup’s shoulders. It didn’t make the pain subside,let alone help her fears for her future shrink, but the blonde soonset either of her hands on what she felt as the slope of Hiccup’sneck and slowly wrenched her eyes open. They stillburned.Everything was still bleary, still white.
Hiccupwas probably only inches away from her, but at the same time… Hewasn’t there.
(Butusing that logic, the moon didn’t exist and neither did theHunters. Astrid breathed deeply again. She blinked. It still didn’thelp.)
“Itwas an Armorwing,” she managed, willing strengthtoinject her quiet voice. Astrid knew that around Hiccup, there was noneed for her to remain strongindifficult times, but it was the only way she found herself capable ofspeaking to him. “Viggo–he, he wanted revenge. But you–youhaveto, to promise, promise me that you w-won’t do anything stupid.”
Astrid…Astrid was conflicted. On one hand, Hiccup had taught her thatemotion was natural,andthat they didn’t live in a world as brutal and ruthless as theyinitially thought. With the resurgence of a new massive threat intheir lives, however, that notion immediately caved in on itself.What wasshe,if not the resilient, hardy Hooligan that her people were known tobe? What happened to the viking who had so firmly believed inherself, and believed that she was stronger than anything Viggo triedto do to harm her?
“Astrid,”Hiccup said again, this time more sympatheticallyhurt,and it was as he’d said her name a million times over in the pastminute with different tones each instance. She knew that he wantedher to continue to explain.
“Hiccup,I’m–”
Shechoked on the next word, a sob ripping from her throat, becauseadmitting it made it real.Admitting it made it feel like Viggo won,and she’d be damned before she let something like that happen.Astrid felt Hiccup tense further, and she squeezed his shoulders,sniffling and breathing choppily.
“…Bl–ind.”
Itfelt like a massive wave crashing onto an unsuspecting shore. It hither like a Catastrophic Quaken barreling into her at full force,knocking the wind out of her lungs and sending her reeling.
Shewas blind.
Sheblinked. Astrid felt as if her mind was still foggy with disbeliefand sheer horror,but saying it out loud… It helped. Somehow, it helped, and deepdown, she knew that acceptingitwas the first step to overcomingit.
Hiccup’ssilence, however, was terriblyconcerning.Astrid lifted a shaky hand to thread her fingers through his hairwith slight uncertainty. She couldn’t use her thumb to smooth awaythe creases in his brow that she knew were there, so she had tosettle instead. His presence was grounding, and it made her thinkmore practically–it made her realize that the only thing left to dowas cope,notcry.
Ithurt, but knowing that he was worried about her… hurt more.
“Maybeit’s temporary–”
“Hiccup…”
“Wecan get you to Berk and have Gothi–”
“Hiccup–”
“Astrid,we can still–”
“Youknow,” Astrid interjected (again), “all I could think about washow useful those Deathsong amber goggles you made would have been,”she whispered, fingers curling at the hair at nape of his neck. Shethen pressed her palm to his cheek and leaned forward–he got thememo, thankfully, and their foreheads met. She thoughthehad his face committed to memory, but now that the situation requiredher to draw upon those memories, they were… Gone?
Notgone,but buried.
Byfear.
Byanger.
Byirrational thought.
Sheblinked. She smothered those feelings by reminding herself thatletting them fester would only make matters worse.
“I’msor–”
“Don’t,”Astrid interjected, both pleadingly and in warning. He wiped histhumb against the corner of one of her eyes, presumably to wipe awayher tears, but she squeezed them shut reflexively. “Don’tapologize.”
“…”
“What’sdone is done,” she said, her tone indicating that what she had tosay was final, though it retained its shakiness. Astrid tried sodesperately to sound okay,but…“Apologizingwon’t, c-can’t change–this.”Astridwaved a hand toward her face.
“Iwas… just going to say that–I, I’m here,Astrid. You were there for me, and… And now it’s my turn.”
…Itdawned on her then.
Thevalue she had was not determined by, nor was it reliant, the heightof the senses. Despite lacking her sight entirely, what she said wastrue–the only way to go about her life at this point?
Work past it.
Learna little morefromHiccup.
Swiftly,and with practiced ease, she pressed a kiss to the apple of his cheekbefore slipping out of his arms to find her dragon, ignoring thestrain of keeping her eyes open. The rough texture of Stormfly’sscales was beneath her fingertips in mere seconds–Astrid didn’thesitate once in pulling herself onto the Nadder’s back.
Shewasn’t okay. She was far from okay.
Butshe was guaranteed not to be okay for the rest of her life if she didn’t at least try to move forward.
“Whereare you–”
“Thefirst thing you did was fly,” Astrid reminded him, squaring hershoulders as she curled her fingers against the bar of Stormfly’ssaddle. She sucked in a deep breath. “And that’s exactly what I’mgoing to do.”
IfViggo Grimborn thought he could eliminate AstridHofferson fromthe game, he was painfully mistaken. Sightor no sight, she’d overcome the trials set out before her–shealways had, anyhow.
Sheblinked.
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