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#i feel pretty i feel wanted i feel like i'm a _person_ instead of just....an object a body a toy
kindacreepy-kindaugly · 4 months
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I keep thinkin please stop fucking w/ my head but rly I think I'm just doin all I can to make it last
#i know the crash is inevitable. i know this isn't real#don't know what the fuck it is he wants from me now but i know it ain't just this#didn't see him last night but for days now he's just been. so gentle w/ me. sweeter than he's ever been.#barely a week since he admitted he hates me#n now suddenly it's all did you take your meds i'm happy you're eating better don't worry about that baby you need to sleep#he's taken back damn near every nasty thing he's said to me n i know he's just talkin but. i feel better about myself than ever#i feel pretty i feel wanted i feel like i'm a _person_ instead of just....an object a body a toy#he asks before doin anything n doesn't push if i say no#though that might just be cause he's figured out him takin no for an answer is usually enough to get me goin anyway.......#but. he's still so patient.#i'll be playin my phone games for hours n he's just there kissin my neck occasionally remindin me i probably really should try to sleep soon#i don't know what the fuck this is n i'm really scared of when he gets tired of the charade. or decides he's got me in deep enough#is he just buildin me up so he can tear me down or is there an actual plan#i don't know if i'm gonna survive it this time. maybe that's the plan. break me for good n then mold me into whatever he wants#.....if he kept treatin me like this i think i'd just become w/e he asked me to anyway#though i doubt it'd last no matter what i did#it never does the game's rigged i know that i know i know#but FUCK#it's been goin on for days now it never lasts more than one or two#spdrvent
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